A few hours later, Daisy answered the door with a heavy heart. She didn’t know what to do anymore. What to think. Alex was just…Alex. A part of her life now. The star of her dreams. The hero of her fantasies.
And yet, there was so much separating them. So much standing in the way of them ever finding a life together.
She opened the door and her breath caught in her throat as she stared up into his dark brown eyes. For the rest of her life, even if she never saw him again, she would be able to close her eyes and remember his. The warmth. The heat of his stare. The flash of desire that quickened in their depths.
He ran one hand across the side of his head, glanced back down the empty hallway, then shifted his gaze to her. “Daisy, I wanted to see you. I need to talk to you about something.”
Goodbye, she thought. He hadn’t said the word, but it was drifting in the air between them. Her heart ached and a small voice in the back of her mind wept for the end of what had been a lovely dream.
“Sure.” She forced herself to step back, waving him inside. Better to get this over with, she told herself, lifting her chin bravely, as if she expected to take a solid blow on the tip of it.
She’d known for weeks this was coming. Had told herself to prepare for it. And yet now that it was here, pain welled up inside her until she could hardly breathe. She wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him. Feel his arms come around her. She wanted to tell him that she’d been to the doctor. That he’d given her the okay to resume her normal life.
She wanted to ask Alex to make love to her. To touch her and be inside her. To fill her with his body until she would never really be alone again.
But the words died, unuttered. She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make love with him and then let him go. The pain of knowing what she would never have again would be too much to live with. Better to walk away before finding the magic she knew existed in the circle of his arms.
He walked across the small living room, and the strength of his presence seemed to fill the place until it felt no bigger than a closet. Daisy pulled in a slow, deep breath and fought for calm as her gaze drifted over him. She took in his long legs encased in worn, faded denim, his scarred boots that only made him taller. He wore a dark red open-collared shirt that tantalized her by offering a peek at a small V of his chest. His eyes were dark and troubled, and Daisy knew that whatever he was about to say, she wasn’t going to like it.
“Where’s Angel?” he asked, throwing her off guard.
“She’s asleep,” Daisy said, and wished the baby were here—a small, warm body to cling to. Then, instantly, she was ashamed of herself for wanting to hide behind her own child.
“Oh.” He reached up and viciously rubbed the back of his neck. “I was hoping to see her before—” He stopped and stared at Daisy.
“Before you left?” she finished for him, silently congratulating herself on being able to say the words without her voice breaking.
He looked miserable. And if she wasn’t mistaken, there was just a hint of sympathy in his eyes. Well, she didn’t want his pity. Didn’t want him feeling sorry for her. She’d be fine. She’d survived Jeff’s abandonment and she’d get through this, too.
She was used to making do on her own. Used to counting on no one but herself. And though it killed her to realize her greatest fears were coming true—he really was walking away from her—she’d make out all right. Just as she always had.
Alex crossed the room in three long strides and suddenly he was there. Beside her.
“I don’t want to go, Daisy.”
She felt the heat of his hands on her bare arms and wished she wasn’t wearing a short-sleeved shirt. But even as she thought it, she knew a thick sweater and a parka wouldn’t be enough to keep her from feeling his touch right down to her bones.
Still, she steeled herself against the effect he had on her and forced herself to step back, out of his grasp, away from the hard, solid strength of him.
“Of course you don’t,” she said, keeping in her voice a lightness she wasn’t feeling. “You’re a nice man. But we both knew that you’d be leaving. Going back to the navy.”
“Not yet.”
“What?”
“I still have ten days of leave. I’m just going to my family’s place in Harwichport for a few days.”
Daisy crossed her arms in front of her chest and held on tightly. She knew what he was doing. He might think he wasn’t leaving her yet, but that’s exactly what this was. He was pulling away gently. Trying to make his inevitable goodbye easier on her. That was impossible, though. Because knowing he was leaving had finally made her realize a single hard truth.
She loved Alex Barone.
And she was going to lose him.
Misery was lurking just out of sight, but was already closing in. But at least she could hang on to her pride. She wouldn’t let him know she loved him. Wouldn’t let on that his leaving was killing her.
Because if she did, and he turned his back and walked away from her love—as Jeff once had—the pain would be unbearable. Better to keep her feelings to herself and make him believe that she was fine with his going.
“Of course you want to visit with your family before you ship out,” she said, and was silently proud of herself for being so strong.
“I’ll be back in a few days.”
“I’ll be here,” she quipped, and gave him a smile that cost every ounce of her strength. Yes, she’d be here. Angel would be here. But Daisy wasn’t expecting to ever see Alex here again.
He’d go to his family. Be back in his world. And soon enough, Daisy and her child would slip to the rear of his mind, and in no time at all, they’d be nothing more than a pleasant, if vague, memory.
And he’d never know he’d left her heart in splinters.
Twelve
Four days later, Alex was going out of his mind.
He loved his family, but all he could think about was Daisy. Always before when he’d come home to Boston on leave, he’d spent every moment he could with his brothers, his sisters, his parents. He’d wanted to saturate himself with the love and strength of the Barones.
Now, though, his heart just wasn’t in it.
He wondered if she was thinking about him. If she missed him, if she was wishing he’d come back—or if she was just glad to be rid of him. And Angel, the tiny baby who’d captured his heart within moments of her birth. Had she grown? Had she changed? Was she aware enough to even notice he was gone from her life? As she grew up, would she ever know that he’d been there at her beginning? That he’d loved her as much as any father could?
“No.” Alex spat the word out, to hear how it sounded. To see how it felt. And the instant he did, he knew the plain simple truth.
Shaking his head, he stared out the window of the room that had been his as a boy. Looking past his own reflection, he focused on the distance—toward Boston and Daisy. Where his heart was.
“I love her.” So simple. So easy. And now that the words were said, admitted to, he felt a swell of pleasure so deep and rich, it shook him right down to his soul.
“You’re sure?”
He turned around to find his mother standing in the open doorway, smiling.
“Yeah,” he said, grinning in response. “I’m sure.”
“Then why are you still here?” she asked.
“Because I’m an idiot,” he answered, already moving for the door.
“Well, that’s all right, then,” his mother told him. “Women are used to dealing with and forgiving idiots.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I usually am,” she said. “Just ask your father.”
Alex laughed and started past her, hurrying down the hall toward the staircase. Now that the decision was made, he couldn’t wait another minute to find Daisy. To tell her that he loved her. To ask her to marry him and insist that she say yes.
“I’m looking forward to meeting Daisy,” his mother called after him, “and my new granddaughter!”
Daisy tried to keep her mind on work.
It wasn’t easy, though. Despite the heavy crowd at Antonio’s, her thoughts kept drifting. It was good to be back at work, however. Heaven knew it was better than sitting in her apartment doing nothing but moping about Alex. At least here she was too busy to mope all the time.
There was one bright spot in all this. Her friend Joan and she had arranged to work different shifts, so Joan was watching Angel while Daisy worked. At least she was spared having to worry about her baby while she tried to get on with her life.
When the hostess seated a man at one of Daisy’s empty tables, she was pleased. One more customer to keep her mind busy, she thought. Until she went to take his order and was caught by Alex’s steady gaze.
Her heart jumped in her chest, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. “What are you doing here?”
“I went to your apartment. Joan told me you were working tonight.”
“But why are you here?”
“For dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“To start.”
Daisy looked at him, drinking in the sight of him, and told herself that this didn’t mean anything. The fact that he was back when she’d never expected to see him again was just a blip. A painful one.
“Alex…”
“I’d like the chicken parmigiana, please. And coffee.”
“Fine.” She nodded and snatched up the menu. If he could do this, so could she. Just business. She’d wait on him, then he would leave and hopefully stay the heck away—at least until she could get over him. That shouldn’t take more than ten or twenty years.
The next couple of hours flew by. With every step she took, she felt Alex’s gaze on her. She went hot and cold every few seconds and made more mistakes with her customers’ orders than she had on her first night as a waitress. When her shift was over, she went to his table to take his check and spotted the fifty-dollar bill he was leaving on a twenty-five dollar tab.
“I don’t want your money, Alex,” she said tightly, leaving it right where it lay. Then she turned and stormed through the restaurant.
Alex was just a step or two behind her and caught up with her right outside. Grabbing her upper arm, he pulled her around to face him.
“Why are you doing this to me?” She reached up to shove her hair back from her face. “Why did you come back?”
“I missed you,” he said, and those three little words slipped into her heart and eased away the ache that seemed to have always been with her.
“Alex…” Daisy looked up at him, trying to ignore the feel of his hand on her skin.
“I had to see you.”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“It’s the only good idea I’ve had in the last five days.”
“Don’t do this to me. To us.”
“That’s just it,” he murmured. “There is an us, Daisy. Whether we planned it or not.”
He skimmed the tips of his fingers along the line of her cheek. She shivered. Daisy’s heart squeezed just a little bit tighter and she wondered what its breaking point was.
Damp summer heat crowded around them, pushing them together, drawing them closer. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe, and worse, Daisy didn’t want to breathe. She didn’t need air when she could look into Alex’s eyes and feel the power of his soul reaching into hers.
“What now?” she managed to ask, despite the hard knot of need lodged in her throat.
Alex leaned in, kissed her hard and long and deeply, then reared back, gave her a quick grin and said, “Your place. Now.”
She didn’t remember the cab ride.
City traffic and the summer crowds dissolved into a colorful blur beyond the windows as Alex’s hands moved over her body. His clever fingers slipped beneath the hem of her skirt, slid up her thigh and stroked her center until even with the flimsy silk barrier of her panties protecting her, Daisy squirmed on the frayed leather seat. She didn’t know how it had happened. How she’d gone from missing him to being fondled in the back seat of a cab. But she told herself not to question it. To simply accept the moment. To glory in the magic that was Alex.
He couldn’t touch her enough. Couldn’t feel her enough. Trapped in the back of a cab, streaming through downtown Boston, he indulged himself and tortured both of them. How could he ever have thought he could leave her? How could he have doubted what he’d found with her? And how would he convince her to be with him forever?
The cab jerked to a stop outside her apartment building, and briefly, Alex considered telling the driver to just keep going. To keep driving so that he wouldn’t have to stop touching her. But in the next instant, reality crashed through his brain, reminding him that he’d have to get her out of the damn cab to get her out of her damn clothes.
Alex tossed the driver a handful of bills, exited the taxi and took Daisy’s hand to help her out. In the soft glow of the streetlight, her face was flushed, her eyes wide and her mouth soft and delectable. They practically ran into the building, and on the long elevator ride, Daisy turned into his arms and kissed him until Alex was pretty sure he felt his blood boil. When the door opened, they hurried down the long, ugly hallway, and Daisy fumbled for her key.
“Hurry.”
“I’m trying.”
The door flew open and Joan took a long look at them. Then, grinning, she snatched up her purse, saying, “Angel’s sound asleep. Have a good night.” She left, shutting the door behind her. In the next instant, Alex was on Daisy.
Hands.
Everywhere.
He touched her and she went up in flames.
She sighed and his body went rock hard and ready.
Daisy’s brain shut down. She didn’t want to think, didn’t want to worry about tomorrow. All she wanted was now. Tonight. And the unrelenting pleasure of Alex’s hands on her skin. She’d thought before that the only way to deal with not having him in her life was to never fully experience having him in her body. But now she knew that if she never had another moment with him, she wanted—needed this one.
In seconds, he’d stripped her uniform blouse off her shoulders and down her arms. Her skin chilled in the air, but one look from his eyes and she was on fire again.
“Daisy, you’re killin’ me,” he muttered, sliding his hands over her shoulders and down her chest to the front clasp of her bra.
“Oh,” she said with a sigh, “not yet.”
Quickly, they tore at each other’s clothes. Six long weeks had built to this moment, and they couldn’t get naked fast enough. Skirt, pants, shirts, bra littered the floor, and when there was nothing left between them, Alex scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom.
He laid her down on the quilt-covered mattress in a splash of moonlight. The pale shimmer of light dusted her hair with silver and made her skin gleam like fine porcelain. But she was warm and soft, and as he lay down beside her, she turned into his arms and melded her body to his. Hard to soft, heat to heat, they brushed against each other, fanning the flames within. His hands moved over her, skimming her curves, learning every line. She shivered when he bent his head to take one of her nipples into his mouth, and nearly came off the bed as he suckled her.
“Alex, please. I need…I need…”
“We both need, Daisy,” he whispered, his breath dusting her skin.
Her fingers clutched at his shoulders, then scraped down his back, her short, neat nails dragging at his skin as he took her higher. Daisy arched into him, silently pleading for more. Another kiss. Another swirl of his tongue. Another deep touch, as his fingers found her heated core and stroked her into a kind of madness. While his mouth teased her, tormented her, his fingers played a game of their own, dipping into her warmth and sliding back out again. His thumb continued to caress the small, rigid bead of her sex until she twisted and writhed beneath him in a futile quest to find ease.
Awash with color and sensation, Daisy’s mind raced, while her body hummed with electrical pulse b
eats of excitement. Her hands moved over him, tracing the line of his spine, down to the curve of his rear, then back up and around, to smooth across his muscled chest and down his abdomen. She curled her fingers around the hard length of him and smiled when he hissed in a breath. He was no more immune to her touch than she was to his. And that snippet of power urged her onward.
She stroked him, caressed him, smoothing his hardened flesh until he growled low in his throat, tore his mouth from her breast and glared down at her. “If you keep touching me like that, this is going to be over a hell of a lot faster than I’d planned.”
“I want you inside me,” she said, tightening her grip just enough to show him how serious she was. “Now, Alex. Be in me. Be deep within me.”
Alex didn’t need any more urging. Every cell in his body wanted the same damn thing. And after six long weeks of want, maybe slow and easy wasn’t the way to go, anyway. He shifted, positioning himself between her thighs, and when she lifted her hips in silent invitation, he couldn’t wait another minute.
Slowly, carefully, he entered her. Watching her face, terrified that he might hurt her, he pushed his body into hers and didn’t release the breath he was holding until he was buried within her heat and she smiled at him.
“I’m not fragile,” she whispered, reaching up to him. “I won’t break.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“The only way you can do that now is to stop.”
“Not a chance, baby.”
Levering himself atop her, he rocked his hips, claiming her as completely as he could. She moved with him, arching into his every thrust, hooking her legs around his waist and pulling him deeper, closer, until he wasn’t sure where his body ended and hers began. And it didn’t matter.
All that counted now was that he’d found the place he belonged. At last, he’d found the home he’d been born to find. And it was here. Inside Daisy. In her body. Her heart.
He bent his head to take her mouth with his, parting her lips, tasting her sighs. When the first ripple of satisfaction coursed through her, he deepened the kiss further, swallowing her moans and tucking them away inside him.
Beauty & the Blue Angel Page 11
