by B. M. Hardin
Well, I guess burying the baby beside his mother was his way of hoping that one day I would actually see it and pay attention to it.
It was his weak ass attempt of ensuring that I found out but he was dead wrong.
How could you do that to somebody?
He’d hit way below the belt and if I could kill him and get away with it, he would have been a dead man by now.
The day at the cemetery, after making sure that I saw the baby’s name, I fell to my knees in tears, and Nolan simply walked away.
He’d waited until he was gone to call and leave the details of the baby’s death on my voicemail.
Do you know how heartless a person has to be to do something like that?
By the time I’d tried to call Nolan back for more details and to curse his ass out, he’d already disconnected his number.
He was just as crazy as his dead wife had been and in a way.
He was pure evil.
But the after effect of the news was what was really weighing me down.
I was so heartbroken that I could barely move.
I wasn’t sleeping.
I wasn’t eating.
I wasn’t even going in to “work” at the hotel.
I just couldn’t believe that the baby was dead.
And I couldn’t believe that I’d missed his last days. I couldn’t help but think that maybe he would have still been alive if he had been home with me.
You just never know.
But the thought of it hurt me even more.
“What can I do?” Silas asked.
“Nothing.”
“You have to eat. You have to pull yourself together. Horizon misses you. I miss you,” Silas said.
I heard him and though my heart wanted to respond to him, I couldn’t.
I just didn’t know what to say.
After waiting for me to respond and getting nothing, Silas excused himself from the room.
A few minutes later I heard the front door slam.
I was sure that he was getting frustrated but he had to understand.
No matter how much I tried I just couldn’t seem to shake away the thoughts and the pain.
But I knew that I was going to have to snap out of it all sooner or later.
At the end of the day I still had obligations and a daughter of my own that needed me.
Since the news, I hadn’t really spoken to anyone.
Everyone called to check on me, but I never bothered to answer.
But hopefully soon I would get myself together.
I forced myself to send Silas a text message.
He had to be damn tired of all of the things that had gone on in my life since he’d been in the picture but had it not been for him, I don’t think that I would have made it through.
I waited for him to text me back and when he didn’t, I headed to the front porch to get some fresh air.
I sat in silence as I watched my neighbors that lived in the house that used to be Rodney’s and his wife’s.
The wife waved in my direction and I forced myself to smile at her.
It was her, her husband, and they had five kids.
They kept to themselves most of the time, but every time I saw them load into their up to date mini-van, secretly I envied them.
I couldn’t wait to be them and I knew that with Silas a life like theirs wasn’t too far away.
I lived for family time and activities together, just like we used to do when I was a child.
There were so many memorable moments from my childhood, mostly good, and I just wanted Horizon to have what I had; fun, siblings, and loving parents.
Sure my parents had problems, issues and maybe even a few secrets but there was no doubt in my mind that they didn’t have a piece of true love.
And that was all I’d ever wanted for myself.
I just wanted a piece of it.
With love on my mind, I headed back into the house to check my phone to see if Silas had texted back.
As soon as I entered the bedroom, my phone started to ring.
I glanced at it and saw that it was the detective.
I’d been ignoring all of his calls too, so I was sure that he was frustrated with me as well.
I ignored the call and read Silas’s text message instead.
I couldn’t help but smile.
Never had I felt so much love.
Silas’s love was strong, full, and it kept me wanting more.
After the detective called another ten times, I figured that I had better answer it.
“We need you at the hotel…now! Some of our guys are watching it, of course, and they just spotted a man in a limo covered from head to toe going into the hotel. He had on a hat, sunglasses and even a scarf. It’s the summertime, so if that’s not suspicious, I don’t know what is. They couldn’t see his face, so we need to see if you can get a look at him.”
I frowned knowing that I really didn’t have a choice and knowing that he was probably too late with his request.
Most of the time, I didn’t see other clients, unless one was going into a room while I was coming out of mine, or the other way around.
We never went to their sleeping quarters if they were staying over at the hotel; it was forbidden and even written in the contract.
There were a few times that I’d caught a glimpse of a few, but there were so many faces of the thirteenth floor that I only had room in my head to at least attempt to remember the faces of my regulars; just because tips were involved.
There had to be hundreds of men that came to the hotel for extra-curricular activities, on a weekly basis.
Though when I’d started, I’d assumed that it was only a few girls on the top floor, I’d later found out that there were about fifty, and we were constantly getting new “maids”.
That’s a whole lot of booty being sold in one place.
One different shifts and different days; still yet it was a lot.
But though I was mourning, I couldn’t go to jail behind my sorrows, so I forced myself to get dressed and in less than half an hour, I was arriving at the hotel.
Obviously, the informants were watching me because as soon as I parked, my phone ranged again.
“You missed him,” the detective said and hung up in my face.
How rude!
Police or not, he could get cursed out too!
Who the hell does he think that he is?
I was extremely aggravated, so I sat there for just a second and took a deep breath.
Envy, if you don’t get it together, you are going to go to jail.
I knew that I didn’t have a choice but to cooperate, but I didn’t want to.
I was going to have to get over the baby situation and keep going.
Life surely didn’t stop and if I didn’t get myself together Tia and the baby wouldn’t be the only ones that I lost.
***************************************
Chapter FOUR
“Um, I’ve missed you so much,” one of my clients said as he finished his business on top of me.
He was usually one that I somewhat enjoyed but though my body was in the room, my head was somewhere else.
Surprisingly, I was thinking about moving far away.
Though I’d always wanted to raise my family in my parent’s house, I suddenly had a change of heart.
The house held too many memories, especially of Tia and the baby and it was time for me to let it go.
Of course I’d paid the bank back every penny that was owed to them, but it was time for me move on.
Though Silas had placed his house on the market already, I figured that we could go looking for a new home together.
As for my parent’s house, I was going to offer it to one of my sister’s and their families, which I was sure they would decline, and once they did, I was simply going to keep it as a family home.
You never know what the future holds, and who might actually need it.
After my client was dress
ed and my tip was in my hand, I hurriedly cleaned up my room and since he was my last client of the day, I rushed to shower so that I could go home.
Carmen had been somewhat avoiding me for the last few days.
She’d given me the hardest time about laying out of work behind finding out about the death of the baby but since I’d been back she had been fairly distant.
But the days were still counting down so I had to get busy.
The detective had made it clear that if I didn’t have what I needed by the end of my contract that I wouldn’t be able to just walk away.
Whatever!
When my contract was up, I was getting the hell away from this hotel, and nothing and nobody was going to stop me.
So, I had to get on it and stay on it.
As far as I knew, Carmen still didn’t have a clue that Silas and I were still engaged, so I figured that her distance was due to her own personal issues.
I looked for her on my way out but I didn’t see her in her top office, so I headed down the elevator.
Entering her downstairs office, she wasn’t there either so I headed towards the door.
I could get my money from her tomorrow.
But suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks.
I turned around to face her file cabinet.
If memory served me correctly, she’d gotten my key and my sign-on bonus money out of it, so obviously she utilized it just as much as she utilized the one upstairs.
There had to be something in there that I could use.
I inched towards it but decided that maybe I should wait.
I turned back towards the door to find Carmen standing there.
She just stood there, looking at me.
I could tell that she wasn’t herself.
She looked stressed out or maybe she looked depressed.
Whatever she was, she wasn’t the million dollar image that I was used to seeing when it came to her.
“You need something? Well, other than this,” she said, handing me one of the envelopes that were in her hands.
She definitely looked off.
“No, I turned around because I thought I left my phone upstairs, but I forgot that I put it in my bra,” I patted my chest and Carmen quickly glanced at it.
“Oh.”
Carmen walked towards her desk and sat down.
Something definitely wasn’t right.
“Are you okay?” I asked her, with as much concern as I possibly could.
I still didn’t like her, but the more I pretended to, the easier it became to keep my game face on.
“I’m fine Envy. Shut the door on your way out,” she said and turned her chair towards the back wall.
She’s such a lunatic!
She made it so hard for anyone to want to be in her presence.
Without shutting the door, I walked out of her office and out of the hotel.
It was hot and sticky and I couldn’t get to my car fast enough.
“Envy,” I turned around to see the detective behind me.
His face always made me frown.
If he would wear a mask, I might be tempted to lick him.
His body was teasingly seductive, but I didn’t see how any woman would be able to get over his face.
He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring so most likely other woman couldn’t stomach the sight of him either.
Not to mention that he was an asshole.
“Anything new?” he asked.
I didn’t understand why he felt the need to ask me damn near every day!
I knew what was at stake and I knew what I had to do.
When I got something new, I would call him, but he didn’t get that.
“Not yet,” I said and opened my car door.
“Well, we need something and we need it fast,” he said, placed on his shades and walked away.
Inside my car, I had little time to think on the situation because Silas called before I could even pull off.
I’d had to apologize to him for how I had been acting lately.
I was sure that he felt neglected but hopefully I’d made it up to him the night before.
“Are you on your way home?” Silas asked.
“Of course, I can’t wait to see your face,” I said flirtatious.
Silas chuckled and I could tell that he probably had a big Kool-Aid smile plastered on his face.
He loved me so much and I couldn’t wait to give him all of me.
That’s why I had to find what the cops needed.
I had to hurry up and get away from the hotel.
I arrived home only minutes later and before I got out the car, I sat there for a moment just to think.
The car was my favorite place to collect my thoughts; I’d gotten that from Mama.
Mama would arrive home, but she would sit in her car for maybe an hour or so, every day, before she would come into the house.
I would often ask her why she did it and she would always say that every day a person needed quiet and alone time.
She’d said it was just as important to the mind as sleep was to the body, and I would be the first to say that I agreed.
I sat there and thought about everything that was going on around me.
I even managed to think about the future but for some reason I wasn’t as sure about it as I had been before.
Things could change in a flash and it wasn’t always in a good way.
To be honest, I was scared to death.
What happens if I couldn’t find what the detective needed?
What happens if I ended up going to jail with everyone else?
I just couldn’t let that happen to me.
But as shady as Carmen was, there was no way of knowing if I was ever going to get anything out of her.
So then what?
Who would look after Horizon if I went to prison?
Maybe Silas and I should start the adoption process before we got married.
But would he even want her if I went down for being some hotel whore?
What would happen to us?
There was just so much that I had to lose and I just couldn’t afford to.
I had to make Carmen trust me.
I had to give her the friend that I was sure that she’d never had and probably always wanted.
Feeling overwhelmed but knowing that I couldn’t show it, I pulled myself together and headed into the house.
I smiled once I opened the door to see that candlelight and rose petals were everywhere.
What is Silas up to?
I woke up the next morning feeling great.
The night before had been nothing less than amazing!
Silas had managed to get Horizon to my sister, cook dinner, give me a full body massage, and sex me speechless.
I would kill somebody over him, I swear I would.
I looked over at him.
He was still asleep.
I wished that I could just lie in bed with him all day and do nothing but I knew that I couldn’t.
The hotel was where I had to be.
At the sound of vibrating, I looked at the table beside my bed at my phone, but it wasn’t mine.
Glancing over Silas’s sleeping mass, to the table on his side, I saw that it was his.
His phone ranged all day and night and he was always on his laptop.
I only knew that he had his hands in the stock market, so I was sure that required being available by phone or email often, so I never complained.
Silas’s phone stopped vibrating and immediately it started up again.
Quietly I got out of bed and tip-toed to his side.
Silas moved a little so I stood still and once he started to snore again, I reached for his phone.
As soon as I grabbed it, the vibrating stopped, but immediately it started back again.
My eyes widened as I saw who was calling.
Out of instinct, I frowned.
Why in the hell was Carmen calling his phone?
***
I hated the fact that I couldn’t ask Carmen why she’d called Silas.
I had to bite my tongue because I couldn’t let her know that he and I were still involved.
It just ate me up in the inside.
Why in the hell was she calling him?
Were they still involved?
Why did she even have his number?
They hadn’t been married in years, surely his number had been changed since then, so why, what, when and how was it that she had it or had the need to call him?
I had so many questions and not enough answers.
I was planning to ask Silas but it hadn’t exactly been the right time.
Oh, but believe me, I was going to.
I assumed that Carmen was in a better mood than she had been in last week because she was just talking away.
Of course I had to pretend to be interested because I had to stay on her good side.
“So, since we’re both single, let’s go out and do something tonight,” she said.
I wanted to scream, HELL NO right in her face, but I knew that this may be an opportunity to get information out of her.
“Okay,” I said nonchalantly.
I already knew that it was going to be a long night.
And I definitely wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Where are you going?” Silas asked later on that evening after dinner.
“Oh, some girls from work wanted to get together and have a few drinks. I hope you don’t mind,” I said to Silas as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
He kissed my neck.
Usually, my juices would have begun to flow, but he was on my bad side until I found out the truth behind Carmen’s calls.
“No, I don’t mind. Horizon and I can watch a movie until she falls asleep,” he said, still loving all over me.
I was trying my best to hold my tongue but it was killing me not to say anything.
So finally, I let it out.
“Why was Carmen calling your phone?” I asked him.
Silas stopped kissing me and looked at me.
He didn’t hesitate too long.
“She calls me all the time. I never answer though,” he said.
“How does she even know your number?”
“She got it when I called to tell her about the passing of my ex-wife, and daughter; her sister and niece. I’d gotten hers from one of her other siblings. She’d actually hung up on me that day; which is why I’d gone by the hotel that time to speak to her. But for a while now, she just calls, especially after the whole proposal,” he said.
