The two of them paused near the end of a long breakfast bar as Owen continued speaking his mind. “Think about it, Kitty. My mother died. Yours left and cut all ties. And Dad—well, he was always off chasing his dream of getting that next big win. I guess what I’m getting at is that I’ve always needed you in my life. We’ve needed each other.”
“Of course we do,” she agreed.
He rolled his eyes with disbelief. “That’s hard for me to believe. You’re off chasing Dad’s dream. And I’m selfish enough to want you around. I don’t want the child you’re carrying to grow up without a mother like the two of us have.”
Other than an aunt who lived some hundred miles away from Desert End, Kitty and Owen had no close relatives. But now Kitty had Liam and the coming baby. And for the present, she was living in California. Maybe Owen was feeling excluded and selfishly wanting his sister to remain home on the ranch. But it wasn’t her responsibility to keep her brother happy.
“Owen, believe me, I will be a full-time mother. Besides, how I mother my own child is my decision. Not yours. And now that we’re on the subject, you could have a family of your own. But you’ve chosen not to. That’s not my fault.”
He looked away from her, but for one split second before he turned his face aside, she’d thought she’d spotted pained shadows in his eyes. Could it be that her brother wasn’t nearly as tough as he wanted everyone to believe? Oh, God, she wanted him to be happy, but not at her own expense.
“No,” he muttered. “I don’t expect it’s anyone’s fault but my own.”
Before she could make any sort of reply, he bent his head and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I gotta go. I hope your doctor’s visit goes well tomorrow.”
She kissed his cheek and for a brief moment, hugged him close. “If anything is amiss, I’ll let you know,” she promised. “Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
He left the room and after a moment she heard the door at the front of the house open and close. The hollow sound filled her with sadness.
*
The next morning, Kitty’s visit to the medical clinic went quite well, with everything checking out perfectly. Before she left the building, she immediately called Liam with the news and the sound of his happy voice made her even more eager to get back to California and his side.
By late that evening, her flight touched down at LAX and she spotted Liam waiting for her inside the terminal. He was holding a bouquet of white tulips and purple hyacinth and the smile on his face was like a light to the dark clouds in her heart.
Her steps quickened, speeding her across the concourse, until she reached him and then she flung herself at him as though they’d been apart for weeks rather than a day.
“Oh, Liam, it’s so nice to be back!” Gripping him tightly, she kissed both sides of his face and then his mouth.
The hunger she tasted in his kiss warmed her blood and by the time the contact of their lips ended, she was practically breathless.
“I hope you like tulips,” he said as he eased back far enough to offer her the bouquet. Kitty bent to the fragrant blooms of hyacinth and she took a moment to draw in their lovely scent before situating them carefully in the corner of one arm.
“I never expected flowers. Is there a special occasion I don’t know about?” she asked as she used her free arm to latch around his.
“They’re just to let you know how much I missed you,” he said softly.
He’d gotten the flowers for her! Just for her! Not for the baby. Not for winning a race. Not for any other reason, but her! The simple gesture filled her with happiness.
“I’ve missed you, too, Liam,” she whispered huskily. “Very much.”
Their gazes met and her heart thudded at the smoldering promises she saw in his hazel-green eyes.
“Come on,” he said lowly. “Let’s get home.”
Home. Kitty wasn’t sure where her home was anymore. But as she walked alongside Liam, her arm clinging tightly to his, she wanted to believe that wherever her husband was that’s where her home would be.
But he didn’t love her, she thought dismally. And a home could never survive without love to keep its foundation solid.
Kitty had sworn to fight to hold on to Desert End, but it suddenly dawned on her that winning the Oaks and securing the ranch wasn’t the only monumental task she had facing her. She had to win Liam’s heart. Without it, she could never be happy or whole.
Chapter Ten
Later that night as the two of them lay in bed, Kitty rested on her side, her cheek cradled against the pillow as she gazed drowsily at the silvery moonlight streaming beneath the draped curtain.
She wanted to believe that what had just transpired between her and Liam had been making love. At least, to her it had been giving her body to him with all her heart and soul. But in spite of the hunger he’d displayed, the eagerness and gentleness he’d shown her, she had no idea what the driving force was behind his kisses and caresses. Even now, as his fingertips made a leisurely trail up and down her spine she had no idea what he was really thinking and feeling.
He needs to know exactly why you married him.
Ever since Kitty had rushed into Liam’s arms at the airport, Natalie’s words had been haunting her, and she realized the other woman was right. Even if Liam didn’t love her, he needed to know the depth of her feelings for him.
“Without you here last night, this bed was like sleeping on the cold ground,” he admitted, his voice low and husky. “I almost stayed at the barn and slept in my office instead.”
Her heart thumped as she tried to summon the courage she needed. “Awesome Joe might have let you sleep with him. He would have kept you warm,” she gently teased.
“Hmm.” He nuzzled his lips against the side of her neck. “Joe kicks and you don’t.”
The smell of him, the feel of his hands on her skin, the deep masculine sound of his voice never ceased to thrill her and she realized that no man before Liam had ever made her feel so alive, so much a woman. But that wasn’t why she was having his baby. Or why she’d married him.
Catching his hand with hers, she brought his fingers to her lips and kissed each callused tip. “I love you, Liam.”
Slowly, his head lifted away from hers and even though she couldn’t see his face, she could feel his gaze sweeping over her, surveying her as though he’d suddenly found himself in bed with a stranger.
After a few silent moments stretched between them, she rolled onto her back to see him staring solemnly down at her.
“Have I shocked you?” she asked softly. “I thought you’d probably already guessed how I feel. Either way, I felt you needed to know.”
“Why?”
Her heart sank at his clipped, one-word response. “Aren’t husbands and wives supposed to tell each other these things?” she asked.
Sighing, he looked away from her. “Yes. But—”
“But what?”
“We’re not—” His troubled gaze swung back to her face. “Things are different with us.”
Clutching the sheet to her bare breasts, she scooted to a sitting position. “You mean we’re not the typical married couple.”
“Not exactly.”
“Hmm. Funny that you should say that, Liam. Your argument for us to marry was to make a ‘real’ family for our child.”
A groan of frustration sounded in his throat. “That’s true. But I didn’t say anything about love. Love has nothing to do with us—or our marriage.”
Pain was crushing the middle of her chest, but she did her best not to let it show. Not for anything did she want him to see the power he wielded over her.
She said, “That’s not the way I see it.”
He grimaced then lifted his gaze toward the dark ceiling. “I never asked you to love me.”
Her throat so tight she could barely speak, she said, “That’s true. You didn’t. And I’ll never ask you to love me. I’d be wasting my time anyway.”
Th
at jerked his attention back on her face and he stared at her, his expression a mixture of anguish, confusion and curiosity.
“What does that mean?”
She slid off the bed and reached for the satin robe that had fallen to the floor when Liam had pushed it off her shoulders.
As she tied the sash above the mound of their baby, she answered, “Just what I said. I’d be wasting my time. You can’t love me or any woman, for that matter. You’re too busy hanging on to your dead wife.”
He sucked in a harsh breath. “That’s an awful thing to say.”
She paused to look over her shoulder, and her heart winced at the raw pain she saw on his face.
“The truth can be awful,” she said, then with a sigh of regret she turned back to him. “Liam, I’m not trying to censure you. I’m just stating a fact. I married you knowing how you feel. And I’m not trying to change you now. I simply wanted you to know that I love you. How you feel about me in return is your business.”
Like a man who’d suddenly been shot at and needed to scramble to safety, he vaulted off the bed and wrapped his hands around her shoulders.
“Damn it, Kitty, why did you have to do this? To ruin everything? It’s all been going so well. We get along—we respect each other. We don’t need love coming between us—interfering and messing up all that’s good.”
So her love was a problem he could do without, she thought sickly. God, what a fool she’d been for ever listening to Natalie’s advice! But more than that, she’d been an even bigger fool to allow her heart to hope and dream and love this man.
“Don’t worry, Liam,” she said stiffly, her back proud and straight. “You won’t hear the word from me again.”
She pulled away from him and started toward a door that led into the bathroom, but he caught up to her before she reached it.
“Kit, you don’t understand,” he said in a torn voice. “I do have feelings for you, but…”
His words trailed off as she fixed her gaze on his. She felt drained and empty inside and she supposed he could see that dullness in her eyes. “Look, Liam, if you feel like I’ve put you on a hook or something, then forget it. I don’t expect anything from you. Except that you be a good father to our child. The rest is just inconsequential.”
“Kitty—”
“I’m going to take a shower and get some sleep,” she told him. “I need to get to the track very early in the morning. With Clayton still gone I have lots to do.”
Before he could say anything else, she slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. But once the sound of the shower could drown out the sounds of her sobs, she sat down on the tiled floor and with her hands covering her face, wept until there were no more tears inside her.
*
From that night on, Kitty’s relationship with Liam changed drastically and as the weekend came and passed, she continued to ask herself if Liam might have spoken the truth when he’d said her vow of love would ruin everything between them. Because it appeared that it had.
Not that either was angry or resentful or throwing nasty accusations at each other. In fact, they never spoke crossly to each other. But then they rarely had time to talk, period. With the racing meet going full force, they were both caught up in their daily schedules. Nevertheless, when the two of them were alone, the easy companionship they’d always shared before was gone, only to be replaced by awkward tension.
To her utter relief, the following Sunday saw Black Dahlia win a Grade II race by a full half-length over her nearest competitor. Kitty hadn’t wasted any time in texting Owen to let him know that the filly was moving forward and promising to be a champion. He’d written a one word reply. Congratulations.
That one word would have meant a lot to Kitty if her brother had sent it with sincerity. But he’d made it clear how he felt about the business and how she should be living her life. She couldn’t change his way of thinking, so all she could do was prove him wrong. As for her marriage, she didn’t know where it was headed or how it could ever possibly change. She only knew that with the baby coming this should be one of the happiest times in her life. Instead, she’d never been more miserable.
A week and a half after Dahlia’s spectacular performance, the weather turned cool and damp, especially for a late-May morning in California. Bundled in a heavy denim ranch jacket with a bright yellow scarf tied around her neck, she was making her way down the shed row when she heard a male voice call to her from behind.
Pausing in her tracks, she glanced over her shoulder and was completely surprised to see Clayton striding toward her. The sight of her dedicated assistant was such a relief, she cried out with joy and hurried to meet him.
“Clayton! You didn’t let me know you were returning!” she scolded, then stepping forward, gave him a huge hug.
He laughed as he glanced down at the mound of baby separating them. “Wow! You’ve grown since I’ve been gone.”
Pulling a playful face at him, Kitty said, “You’ve only been gone for two weeks or so. I couldn’t look that much bigger. But I am getting toward my eighth month of pregnancy and that’s when the baby starts putting on weight. I guess it’s starting to show.” She stepped back from him. “So how’s your father? I got your note saying he’d had surgery and was improving.”
“He’s going to be released from the hospital tomorrow. And my sister will be there with my mother to help her get him settled. His recovery will take some time but the doctors expect him to be able to live a normal life—if he takes care of himself and follows orders. He’s one of the lucky ones.”
Clayton looked almost guilty, as though it wasn’t right that his father had survived a heart incident while Kitty’s had died. But now, more than ever, she understood that things happened for a reason and sometimes there was nothing fair about them.
“Very,” Kitty agreed then kindly patted his arm. “I’m so glad you’re back. I guess you’ve been keeping up with racing results—Dahlia won her race by a half-length. Now it’s on to the Oaks.”
“How did she come out of it?”
“Even better than I expected. Her appetite is great. She’s sound and happy. No glitches at all.” For the first time in days, Kitty felt good enough to smile. Liam might not give a damn about her or her stable of horses, but at least Clayton did. “I’m actually beginning to believe we have a legitimate shot at this, Clayton.”
“I never doubted you, or her, for one minute.”
If only Liam would say those words to her, she thought. Instead, he was slowly but surely starting to throw out comments about her long work hours and the stress she was putting on her body. Each time he brought up the subject, Kitty wanted to scream that he was the one putting the most stress on her. Not her job.
Snagging a hold on his jacket sleeve, she urged him forward. “Let’s go have a look at her,” Kitty suggested. “I want to see what you think.”
The two of them had traveled only a few steps when Liam suddenly appeared from a nearby tack room. As they paused to greet him, Liam’s flinty gaze swept over Kitty, then settled on Clayton.
“Clayton’s father is doing well now,” Kitty told him. “So he’s back to work. Isn’t it great?”
“Yeah. Great,” Liam answered with sarcasm, then turned his attention to Clayton. “Maybe you can get my wife to ease up and let you take care of things now. She doesn’t seem to want to listen to me.”
Before Kitty or Clayton could make any sort of reply, Liam strode off without another word. Swamped with disappointment and embarrassment, she pressed the back of her hand against her lips and shook her head.
“I’m sorry, Clayton—I apologize for my husband’s curtness,” she told her assistant. “He’s not been himself here lately.” Not since he learned that his wife was in love with him, she thought bitterly. She didn’t understand why her revelation had disturbed him so, or why he was seemingly trying to distance himself from her now. She only knew that his attitude was killing her and she was swiftly reaching the br
eaking point.
The other man looked at her with concern. “What’s happened? Don’t bother trying to answer that,” he quickly added. “I tried to tell you that Liam Donovan was a bastard. So now that you’ve signed the wedding certificate, he’s starting to show his true colors.”
“Oh, God, Clayton, don’t start,” she pleaded. “He isn’t a bad man. He just has some issues he’s dealing with right now.”
“The only thing on your husband’s agenda right now should be you and your well-being,” he said hotly. “Nothing else! And I’m just the man that can remind him of that!”
“Don’t you dare!” Kitty warned. “Your business is seeing after the horses. I’ll deal with my husband.”
*
That night Liam was already home when Kitty got there. She tossed her handbag onto the cabinet counter and sank into a chair at the table where he was already eating something he’d grabbed at the deli.
“Is there more where that came from?” Kitty asked.
He jerked a thumb toward the refrigerator. “Since you were so late showing up I put it in there.”
Rising to her feet, Kitty moved over to the cabinet and rinsed her hands at the sink. “I had an owner show up at the track. I couldn’t leave,” she explained. “Not after he’d traveled all the way from Santa Fe to check on his horse.”
“Clayton couldn’t have dealt with the man? What do you pay him for? Just to strut around the barn?”
His comment was so off-the-wall that Kitty didn’t even make an effort to reply. She walked over to the refrigerator and pulled the foam containers of food from the shelf. “I’m sorry my work has kept me so busy here lately, Liam. But so has yours.”
“I’m not the one who’s pregnant,” he said tersely.
She turned away from the cabinet to glare at him. “I’m so glad you realize that,” she drawled sarcastically.
Tossing down his napkin, he left the table and walked over to her. The tenseness on his face was gone and a part of her melted as his hand came up to cradle her cheek.
His Texas Baby Page 14
