by Kim Faulks
Those eyes stayed with me as I skirted the edge. Blue eyes. Brooding eyes drew me into the maelstrom. My fingers moved with fervor, circling, slipping, brushing until I drove my hips from the bed. His name lingered on my tongue. I clamped my teeth tight as the tension built, lapping at me with deadly flames, unfurling me like the petals of a night-blooming flower, until with a shock the word slipped free.
I shuddered, holding my hand between my thighs and whispered “Kol.”
Shame waited in the wings, ready with disapproving eyes and a whole list of guilt-filled names. Not now.
My eyes drifted closed, my mind holding onto that perfect face as sleep finally came for me.
Kol
Rurik answered on the first ring. “Yes.”
“Burrow won’t be a problem any longer.”
“Very well…. What is it, old friend?”
I stared at the building outside the big bay window as a light came on. Movement dragged my focus away, but it was the unspoken words I struggled with. “What would you say if I were to pay a debt owed?”
The voice softened. “You already have, Kol, a thousand times over.”
I flinched—no, not nearly enough. “Not that one.”
“Oh?”
I licked my lips, such a human action. “Jared Scott.”
The silence made me itch. “Why?”
Through the window the hiss of a shower slipped out into the night air. The question hung in the air, yet I had no answer—none I would allow to take flight. But the slow thud inside my barren chest remained, haunting me like those unspoken words. “Call it a personal favor.”
“Does this favor have anything to do with the woman?”
Thud. Thud. Thud. My body pulsed, pushing the need through my veins. “Yes.”
The word slipped out before I had a chance to stake it to the ground.
“Consider the debt transferred. Be careful, old friend.”
I nodded, knowing the act was stupid and foolish and pressed the button. Stupid and foolish seemed to be an ongoing theme. The squeal of taps dragged my gaze to the apartment across the street.
The glaring light of a bathroom revealed the blush on her skin. The soft yellow light hugged each curve. I stilled, taking in the sweet curve of her body in degrees. I wanted to remember her like this, every awkward jerk of her human body—every freckle on her flushed skin.
Her pink polka dot pajamas made me smile. This human was still a child in many ways—and all woman in many more. Long auburn hair bobbed on top of her head in a messy swirl. I craved to touch those strands, to inhale the sweet smell of her body fresh from the shower.
The room plunged into darkness, seconds later the bed sheets rustled. I squashed a twinge of guilt as the creak of a mattress echoed. That dead muscle pulsed faster.
She should know better than to leave her blinds open.
A breathless moan ripped through the air.
I could smell her excitement, sense her desire. She was pleasuring herself. That heavy thump in my chest sped. Slick, wet sounds filled my ears. My body came alive as I envisioned her fingers. In and out… in and out.
Her breaths were hushed whispers. I stepped closer to the cracked glass and gripped the window frame. I wanted to be there. I wanted to replace her fingers with my own, with my tongue and my cock.
The wood cracked under my grip, layers of paint peeled like an overripe tomato.
A faint cry slipped through to pierce my chest with a lethal blow.
My name.
The world stood still.
She whispered my name.
Splinters pierced my palm. The cracked glass slipped, sending a squeal through the room. I stilled, searching the darkness and shadows in her room. I could be there. I could fill the space beside her—inside her. I could….
She was human. She was more than that… she was vibrant perfection.
I had to have her. But what could I offer her? Money? Jewels? Cars and houses?
I shook my head, afraid that mere things wouldn’t be enough. Releasing my stranglehold on the shattered frame, I stepped away. I had to have her. But what could I possibly offer a woman like Nova?
Nova
I stretched out a hand, searching for warmth, but the other side of the bed was empty.
Don’t wait up.
How long should I not wait for? I eased out from under the covers and climbed to my feet. Maybe he was on the sofa? I stumbled toward the doorway, until the silence of the empty apartment took hold.
My teeth chattered. I wrapped my arms around my middle and stumbled into the kitchen, filling the kettle and hitting the switch. A moan slipped from the door followed by a thud.
I had my hand around the chain before I registered the movement. The metal end smacked into the doorframe as I yanked the handle. Something slid and hit the floor with a thud. Jared lay, half in, half out still wearing yesterday’s clothes.
I grabbed hold of his head and gagged. The stench of alcohol mingled with something fetid. His shirt stuck to his skin. I covered my nose with the back of my hand and tried not to think of what that might be.
A groan wrenched free and I slipped my arms under his and heaved. Dead weight, he took all my strength to drag inside. I eased his head to the floor and closed the door once more.
The kettle clicked off, yet I gazed at Jared sprawled on the floor and felt the twinge of hurt take hold. I wondered what his excuse would be this time. As soon as he sobered up he’d tell me all about about it. Until then, he needed a shower and sleep.
I crouched beside him and grasped his arm. “Jared.”
He made a choked sound and mumbled something that sounded like a name.
“Jared, you need a shower.”
“Shh… don’t want her finding out.”
I flinched at the sound. Her? Which her was her talking about?
I clamped my mouth closed and leaned close. He reeked of spirits and garlic, but underneath that something else wafted up to slap me across the face—perfume.
A woman’s perfume.
“Wake the fuck up, Jared. Now!” I punched his shoulder.
His eyes flew open and blinked, focusing on my face. “Nova. What the hell?”
“You smell like alcohol and perfume, Jared. Explain.”
I could see the gears churn inside his head. His eyes widened, his chest stilled until after a second he left the fetid air loose. “Nothing happened, Nova. I promise.”
Those guilt-ridden words took a knife to my chest. I shoved myself away and climbed to my feet.
My voice sounded alien, full of angst and pain. “You’re lying, Jared. I can always tell when you’re lying. I might’ve swallowed your excuses before. But I can’t anymore. You’re smothered in a woman’s perfume.”
Fear registered, carving a path through the alcohol filled haze as I stormed into the bedroom. I heard the hard thud as he hit the floor, but I was already tearing the t-shirt from my body.
Soft thuds echoed as he crawled on hands and knees into the bedroom. I took one look and turned away. God damn pathetic.
“It was a hug… a damn hug. I’d never cheat on you, Nova. You have to believe me. I met some friends and they invited me back to their place for a drink, that’s all. Please… Nova… Nova, stop.”
“Can you please leave, or turn around, or something?” I yanked the drawer open and snatched a bra from inside. The hooks missed as I smashed the ends together behind my back. Shock wrapped me in its numbing arms, but I wanted the sting of pain. I needed it.
“Baby, please.” His hands were at my shoulders, pulling me away from the bed and turning me into his arms.
I dragged my gaze to his and fought back the tears. “Why, Jared?”
“Why, what? Please talk to me. What do you want me to say?”
“Why do you do that? Why do you cut me out of your life? I’m good enough to work and pay your debts, but I’m not good enough to take to a party? I’m not good enough for you to put my needs before your ow
n?”
He shook his head, dropping his gaze. “You’re right. I’m fucking selfish. I’ve been a selfish bastard and I don’t deserve someone like you.”
His words stilled me. I’d never heard him speak like this, not in all the years we’d been together. An ache spread from the center of my chest, spreading out with claws to grasp my throat.
“Let me make it up to you. Give me a second chance. Please baby. Please let me make it up to you.”
I shook my head, but inside my walls had started to crack. I wanted to believe him. Give him another chance, my heart whispered. But my mind knew better. No more chances, this is your way out, Nova. Take it. Take it and run.
“Let me take a shower and then we can talk. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’ll tell you everything.”
I rested my hip against the bathroom cabinet while he stripped and showered. This time I didn’t look away. I wanted to see him. I wanted to see what I loved—what I wanted.
“You remember Corey Peabottom? Yeah, he and his girlfriend just got engaged. I bumped into them yesterday after the meeting with Eric Nelson. I hadn’t seen him in like… geez babe, when was the last time we’ve seen them?”
“Two years. Nicole’s engaged huh?” I snapped. “That would’ve been nice to congratulate them—pity I didn’t get the chance.”
“It was good to see them. He’s damn lucky, did you know she landed some high profile job at one of the law firms in town? She’s working for some vampire.”
Kol’s face filled my mind at the mention of vampires. Heat raced to my face. My breaths turned shallow, racing with my pulse. Jared’s voice turned to a muffled drone as the memory of what I’d done last night came to life.
I turned to stare through the water-splattered glass at Jared’s body. His once excited me—once drove me to touch myself the way I had last night. But now, he may as well have been a stranger. There was nothing when I searched his hairless chest and the hard curve of his ass. Nothing until my mind replaced his face with Kol’s, and then I was side-swiped by an unseen truck.
My heart thundered. I wiped my damn palms on my clothes as heat flooded my body, moving lower to pool between my thighs.
I’d unlocked something inside me, some hidden door I’d never known.
I nodded, staring off into space. Puncturing each breath Jared took with a slow nod and a sure, until he switched off the taps and strode from the shower dripping wet. His blood-shot gaze was fixed on mine. “You haven’t heard a word I’ve been saying, have you?”
I lowered my gaze, taking in his hard chest and his flat stomach. I saw Jared with fresh eyes, every ripple of muscle, every ounce of supple flesh. Dark hair trailed from his navel, spreading out to the dark thatch between his legs.
His cock was flaccid, moving freely as he shifted from one foot to another. He didn’t reach for a towel to cover his body as he’d done countless times. He just stood there, letting my focus linger. We were friends—good friends for the last two years—I’d seen him naked before, except we weren’t intimate. That was my fault, not his. There’d always been an excuse… it was my time of the month, my mother was sick, I was tired from work. The thought of taking that final step with Jared just… saddened me. I tried to quieten the voice that whispered, maybe it’s because deep down you know he’s not the one.
“Nova. Honey, what’s gotten into you? You’re acting strange.”
“I went to see him.” The words came out in a rush. “Kol, I went to see him.”
Jared paled. The spell had finally been broken and he wrenched a towel from the rail. “Well, that was stupid. You could’ve been hurt. You could’ve been killed.”
“But I wasn’t.”
Jared spun, eyes bright, white teeth showing. “You couldn’t leave it alone, could you?”
Gone was the gushing boyfriend who promised to change, to make our relationship better. Here was the real Jared Scott.
“You frightened me, baby. That place isn’t somewhere I ever wanted you to go.”
Kol’s blue eyes filled my mind. So clear I felt like I was falling into them. Kol was dangerous, and a killer, I had no doubt about that. But when I envisioned a monster, he wasn’t who I saw. There was something hidden inside those azure eyes, some trace of the man he’d once been—and I wanted to know more.
“Wait, Nova. This isn’t what I wanted. I don’t give a shit about the vampires. I just… after seeing Cory and Nicole it got me thinking. There’s been something should’ve done before. I just haven’t found the right time. I wanted this to be more romantic, more, I dunno. I wanted to be a better man when I did this. But maybe that’s not going to happen. Maybe I just have to fall to my knees and hope you see through all my faults. Maybe I’m too late. God knows I don’t deserve you.”
The stream of words dragged me into the bedroom. I followed him as he went to his bedside drawer and dug through his underwear. The navy blue box stole my breath. He turned, still disheveled and naked from the shower and lower himself to one knee.
“Nova Flynn, will you do me the amazing honor of becoming my wife?”
My words were wadded in a hard lump inside my throat. I wanted to laugh as parts of him dangled in view, taking my focus from the sparkling diamond ring in the open box.
I’d secretly stared at his grandmother’s engagement ring for months.
Tears slid down my cheek. I swiped at the tickling trail with the back of my hand and whispered. “I don’t know. Jared this is all too….”
“It’s perfect. You and me. We can make this work. I know you don’t love me… not yet. But you will. You’ll love me, just like I love you. This is a good thing, think about it—you and me, I’ll get a good job—we can be happy. I want you to be happy. I looked after you when your Mom was sick. I cared for you then, so let me do that again. Let me care for you now.”
Obligation weighed me down. He’d been there for me, even when my own sister wasn’t. He’d comforted me, cooked for me. He held me as I cried and he’d stood by me when we lowered her coffin into the ground. I owed him a chance, did I? I owed us a chance.
He climbed to his feet and slid the ring over my finger. His smile was contagious. I grinned under the sheen of tears and wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I’m such a jerk. But this is a new start for us. We’ll get through this little hiccup with the money, then we can plan for our wedding. I’m going to take care of you, you can go back to college. Hell you can get a job in that art gallery up on Hutchins Street, the one you used to visit. That’s what you want, isn’t it baby?”
I let him hold me, let him whisper all the things I wanted to hear.
“Cory and Nicole weren’t the only ones I met last night, baby. I was introduced to a friend of theirs, her name’s Sasha. You’ll never guess what she does for a living?”
He pulled me against his warm chest. His words echoed through his body, lulling me. “She sells herself to the damn vampires. Calls herself a Blood Courtesan and makes a lot of money doing it too. More money than we’ve ever seen… more money than Nicole will ever see at her bloody lawyer’s job. She gave me her card. It’s in my pocket somewhere, let me grab it.”
His words collided inside my head. I pushed him away, staring into his brown eyes. “What are you saying, Jared?”
“We’d be able to pay the debt and have money left over, baby. A couple of nights, that’d be all it would take. That’s not so bad, is it?” He grasped my hand, pulling the ring higher. “Imagine it, our own wedding. You could have whatever you wanted.”
“You’re serious aren’t you? You want me to… sell myself.”
“Blood, baby. Sell your blood. That’s all it is. They dress her, like I mean in clothes you’ve never seen in your life. She’s driven to dinner, or a club whatever the vamp wants. He bites her. It doesn’t hurt, she says, not after a while and then she’s fed, wined and dined and taken home.”
He strode to the bathroom and I f
ollowed the curve of his ass. The clink of his buckle against the tiled floor echoed as he fumbled with his filthy clothes. He strode back into the bedroom, still naked and held out a small black card. I shook my head, and moved. But he blocked my way and grasped my hands, pulling me closer.
“It’s the only way, baby. It’s the only way we’re going to get out of this. You’d be so good at this. You’d be stunning.”
The glimmer of happiness tasted like ashes in my mouth. Where did it end? All the giving and taking and slowly, so slowly I unraveled. “Please, Jared. Don’t make me do this. Don’t make me sell myself.”
A shadow moved into his eyes. Gone was the smile—as was the love reflected moments ago—now there was only desperation. “They’ll kill me, Nova. They’ll kill me and they won’t give a shit when they do it. Isn’t my life worth a couple of dates with a vamp?”
The ache in my chest flared. He’d cleaved me open, sliced me to the core. I stared at the ring on my finger. I loved the idea of us, of our future, a husband, a family. And suddenly that hollow pit I had since I whispered goodbye to my mom took form.
I needed someone to fill this empty space in my soul—I wanted more than Jared… I wanted children. I nodded, whispering. “Yes. But I’ll only do this once, blood only. Let’s get this crap behind us so we can move on. And I swear to God, Jared. You gamble again, you put our lives in jeopardy—again and I’m done.”
He was nodding and listening.
I gritted my teeth and snarled. One night, one… vamp.”
And suddenly his eyes brightened. “Yeah, okay. I can deal with that.”
I held up my hand, cutting him off. “And I want a child. I want a baby, someone who’ll be there for me and never leave, like mom had been. This is a deal breaker for me.”
Jared licked his lips and searched my face. “A baby?”
I nodded. “A baby.”
I caught the flare of his throat as he swallowed and followed with, “Non-negotiable, Jared. It’s this or you sell yourself to the damn vamps and see how you go.”
