by Rachel Lee
No, it wouldn’t. But it was beginning to seem necessary. Living a half life wouldn’t satisfy her forever. Or if it did, she was going to reach the finish line wondering if she’d even run the race.
“I’ve never...” She couldn’t force the words out.
“I know.” His face gentled, but he offered her no escape.
She had to make the next move, or none at all. What did she really want? That was the question.
Then the answer pushed past all her questions and concerns, and it was utterly clear: she wanted him. And she wanted the experience. But mostly she wanted him.
On legs that felt at once weak and strong, she stood and walked around the table. When she reached his side, she looked down at him and he looked up. Waiting.
She could still run.
But then she reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder. It felt so strong beneath her fingers, and through his shirt she could feel his warmth.
“Austin?
“Yes?”
She felt so awkward. She felt frightened, almost like the day she had gone with her friends to a swimming hole and they were jumping off a tree limb that hung out over the water. She could still remember sitting there, telling herself to jump, while her body remained frozen. Beneath her, kids who had already jumped into the water splashed and played. But then it was her turn, and she froze, unable to move. Then something inside her had said, “Just do it.” She had jumped.
Just do it.
She trailed her shaking hand down his powerful arm until she found his hand where it rested on the table. He turned it over at once and welcomed her grasp. She felt as if there was almost no air in the room.
And still he waited. For what? Finally, daringly, she gave his hand a little tug.
He stood then, wrapping her gently in his strength. “You can always say no, querida. At any time, at any point.”
Then he kissed her, gently at first, seeking her response. Heat flared in her instantly, as if it had smoldered for so long it only needed a breath of air to ignite a wildfire.
As his tongue painted the sensitive tissues inside her mouth, shivers of longing ran through her. Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hung on for dear life. Already he was taking her places she hadn’t even visited with last night’s kiss.
Nerve endings awoke to fresh life. Every part of her became acutely aware of him pressed against her. She felt the soft fabric of his shirt beneath her hands. The hardness of his entire length against her, an utterly new and confounding sensation.
It felt so good, so very good, just to be held close and kissed. Earlier that morning, she had come up against his hard body as they practiced self-defense, but it hadn’t been the same. Her attention had been focused on her moves, not so much on him.
Now she forgot everything except him, and as he stoked the fires in her, first with his kisses to her mouth, then with kisses that trailed over her cheek, a gentle nip to her earlobe followed by more kisses along the column of her neck, she grew bolder. She ran her hands over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling his muscles move beneath her touches. Each new sensation poured waves of heat through her body, making her self-aware in a new way.
Her breasts ached for touches she had never really imagined. Her body cried out to be borne down beneath his weight. The flesh between her legs seemed to develop a life of its own, pulsing so hard it almost hurt.
She sagged into him, needing to be impossibly close. He smelled so good, of fresh air, of man, of soap and even the dinner they had just shared. As he trailed his mouth along her neck, causing her to shiver, she reciprocated and felt him shudder in response as she found the prickly skin he probably hadn’t shaved since much earlier. She liked the difference.
Then he startled her, making a quiet exclamation she couldn’t understand. Spanish? It almost tripped her out of the moment, but not quite, because he astonished her by sweeping her off her feet and carrying her back toward her bedroom.
Swept off her feet, she thought hazily. She hadn’t really believed men did that. Apparently, Austin did. She clung to his shoulders, even as he lowered her to her bed.
“Easy, querida,” he murmured. “We have all the time in the world.”
A little bubble of happiness rose in her, as she wondered who he was trying to remind of that: himself or her. All the time in the world? She didn’t know if she wanted to wait that long to discover what lay ahead. Impatience now goaded her, having driven out the last of her fears.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots. Then he turned to her and got rid of her sneakers and socks. So little and yet so much. Only then did he stretch out beside her, propping his head on his hand and smiling down at her. For the first time she started to feel really nervous. Excited but nervous. Little bubbles of anxiety popped in her stomach, not quite drowned by the other awakening hungers.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, running his fingertips along her cheek and neck. Delight poured through her.
“Not your type,” she reminded him, amazed that she could speak at all when her entire body seemed full of demands she couldn’t even name.
“Oh, very much my type,” he said. “Very much. A few weeks ago would you have imagined yourself about to take a Latino lover?”
She felt a smile dawn on her face. “I never thought of taking even an Anglo lover.”
His face sobered. “I know. Just be sure, Corey. Please. This is a huge step.”
She dared to lift her hand to cup his cheek, enjoying the feel of his stubble. Enjoying a sense of freedom to reach out and touch him. All new and delightful sensations. “Be my first, Austin.” She didn’t dare ask for more than that.
He bent to kiss her again, this time so deeply that she felt as if he would enter her very soul. The kiss carried her away on a tide of longing so strong that when he broke it she was amazed to realize he had unbuttoned her shirt.
For an instant, beneath his gaze, she felt shy. He didn’t give her long to continue feeling that way. With a twist, he released the front catch on her bra and her breasts spilled free. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, but then she heard him catch his breath.
“Perfect,” he murmured. “You are perfect. Now lie as still as you can while I show you how perfect.”
His hand, slightly roughened, cupped one of her breasts, lifting it and squeezing it gently. She could barely breathe now as fresh rivers of heat flowed through her. Then his thumb brushed her nipple and she arched helplessly, need elevating to heights she had never imagined.
“Shh, shh,” he whispered as his thumb continued to taunt her and tease her. “Just feel. Just feel the wonder.”
She couldn’t do anything at all except feel. Thought vanished to some distant horizon and every cell in her focused on his touch. Each brush of his thumb ratcheted her longing, stoking the fire that seemed to have no limits.
She almost cried out when he released her, but then he cupped her other breast and repeated his caresses. She had never guessed the sensitivity of her nipples, not once. Now she knew, and she loved it.
A helpless cry escaped her when he replaced his thumb with his mouth, drawing her into his wet warmth, then flicking her with his tongue. She grabbed his head, as if fearing he would draw away, but as soon as she did, he sucked even more strongly, as if he would pull her into himself.
She would have liked nothing more. With each flick of his tongue, everything inside her tightened, answering his rhythm with growing hunger. Anticipation dizzied her as her body began to respond with helpless, gentle movements. It seemed to know the way, even if she did not.
She moaned softly as he released her, afraid he was going to disappear. Her eyes fluttered open to see him sit up and cast aside his own shirt.
He had a beautiful chest, and her body reacted to the sight instantly with
a deep clenching. Smooth skin, bronzed as if sun-kissed, strong layers of muscle that rippled as he moved. She needed no encouragement to reach up and run her hands over him, awestruck by the sensation of his warm skin beneath her palms. She was awed by the freedom as he allowed her to explore his planes, angles and hollows.
How had she ever thought she could live without this?
He smiled sleepily, letting her touch him as she chose while running his own hand over her swollen breasts and down across her stomach. The caresses only deepened her excitement, causing her breaths to come in gasps.
Then he lay over her, propped on his arms, looking down into her eyes for a second before he bent his head and began to kiss every inch of her. All she could do was cling to his shoulders as if she feared falling. Or losing him.
But he didn’t vanish. With lips and tongue he covered her in kisses that aroused her until she thought she couldn’t stand any more. Instinctively, she tried to reciprocate, running her hands over whatever she could reach of his shoulders and back, but never did he come close enough for her to kiss him as he kissed her.
He painted her with fire, driving everything from her world except him and the eruption he was building inside her. The throbbing, pulsing ache between her thighs became nearly painful in its strength. Her heart hammered wildly. She needed...oh, heavens, she barely knew what she needed.
He pulled away, and this time she cried out in protest.
“Easy, mi querida. There’s more.”
Oh, man was there more. He ditched his pants, showing her for the very first time a man in full arousal. She nearly gasped. He was so big, and she suddenly felt very small and vulnerable. He waited a moment, letting her see, then caught her hand and wrapped it around his staff.
She gasped, hardly able to believe that his skin felt silken, or that something that felt so soft could also feel as hard as steel. He moved her hand on him, showing her, and she watched as he sucked air and threw his head back. A huge sense of power filled her. She could make him react like that?
But he didn’t give her long to learn him. He had more to show her. When he tugged away her pants and underwear, she felt no shyness this time, only eagerness. Every cell in her body was demanding more.
“New surprises,” he murmured.
He lifted her knees and then spread them wide, kneeling between them. She threw her arms over her eyes, afraid suddenly, but the fear didn’t last long.
The gentlest of caresses traced her lips, driving fear away and replacing it with more amazed hunger. That a touch so light... Her mind spun away.
Over and over he drew his fingertips lightly across her most secret flesh, teasing her to the brink of insanity. Her hips began to rise and fall helplessly, responding to the lightest touches.
“You are exquisite,” he whispered, filling her with a wonder that nearly matched her need. Then, gently, he parted her petals. The sensation of cool air down there overwhelmed her. Never had she felt so exposed or helpless, and she was loving it. Loving it.
He found a knot of nerve endings so sensitive that when he touched it she cried out. The sensations that filled her nearly shattered her. She cried out his name, needing, wanting and having no words for it.
“A moment,” he said gently. “A moment.”
She pried her eyes open to see him roll on a condom, and wished she could have done it herself.
“Are you sure?”
She managed a nod, wanting to sink back into the lava that was pouring so hotly through her.
“There will be a little pain...”
She felt him nudge at her with his hardness, then a tearing sensation that caused her to gasp and dig her nails into the bed.
“It’ll pass,” he said, lowering himself over her as he entered fully. He cupped her face and sprinkled more kisses on her. “It will pass.”
It did, too, and as jarring as the pain had been, it vanished quickly in the heat he rebuilt by kissing her, by sucking on her breasts, just by the very weight and feel of him between her legs.
When it faded completely, she was again consumed by need, and tentatively lifted her hips to bring him even closer. At once he started to move in her, taking her completely to another world as he pumped, first gently and then more strongly.
His head lowered, a long sigh escaped him, then a moan. The sound of his moan added to the pleasure building in her. She began to fly upward like a rocket on its way to the moon. As every sensation seemed to grow harder, her body seemed to grow softer until she hovered on a precipice she had never known existed. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her head arched back. A mindless plea began a drumbeat in her head, in her body. She almost feared she might never find what lay over the lip of this pinnacle.
Then she tumbled, falling endlessly as satisfaction gripped her repeatedly, each pulse of her body sending a new wave through her. She became a thousand glowing embers of sheer pleasure.
She felt him pump into her one more time, hard. Then his back arched and a deep groan escaped him.
Moments later he sagged onto her. She felt replete, weak and oh, so happy.
A long breath escaped her at last, and she settled back to earth in his arms.
Chapter 9
Austin wrapped Corey in his arms and held her close beneath the covers. If she could have purred, he suspected she would have. He had enough experience to know that he had truly pleased her. Honestly, he probably would have purred, too, if he could. Other lovers, other times, other places, nothing quite matched what he had just shared with this woman.
He wanted to luxuriate with her in this, but he wasn’t the sort who could lose track of reality for too long. That had helped keep him alive for six years. But right now he was asking himself only one question: Had he just made the biggest mistake of his life?
This woman had given him an infinitely precious gift and he knew it. But in his way, he had barged right in, first telling her how she was hiding, then taking her to bed. While she might be feeling wonderful at the moment, and she seemed to be, it remained that he might just have added to the scars she already bore.
He’d shoved past her walls, breaking down her carefully constructed defenses, at least where he was concerned. He wasn’t sure if idiocy had pushed him, or desire, but either way he might have weakened something she truly needed.
He didn’t feel very good about himself right then. Sooner or later he was going to have to go back to work. Back to D.C. What would that do to her? She’d let one man into her tower and then he took off?
God, it had been killing him to watch her live in that prison, but now he’d yanked at least one bar out and he had no way of knowing if he’d made her less safe by doing it.
She stirred and snuggled closer. He immediately tightened his arms around her. One special woman. Maybe he just needed to focus on that part.
“I’d like to do that again,” she murmured.
He brushed her hair back from her face. “Me, too, querida.”
“What’s that mean, querida?”
“It derives from the verb querer. To want, to need, to desire. So you can translate it as dear, or darling, or more bluntly, woman that I desire.”
Her lips curved. “Mmm, I like that.”
“It’s a common endearment between couples.”
“I like that, too.”
Couples, he thought. Were they a couple? She probably thought so. Maybe they were. He’d certainly spent enough time trying to get into Rapunzel’s tower. The only question he hadn’t asked himself was why.
Sighing at his own stupidity, he held her close and caressed her, thinking that he’d better get himself sorted out fast, before he made things worse for her.
He suddenly remembered something his uncle had said to him one summer when he was sixteen and visiting the finca. He’d been exchangi
ng longing looks with the daughter of a neighbor, a beautiful girl of fifteen. Her dark eyes had snapped at him, and if she’d ever escaped the watchful eye of her dueña, something might have happened between them. But then his uncle took him aside and gave him a warning. “You can’t have a one-night stand with a virgin.”
Hell.
* * *
Cuddling with Austin felt so good, and Corey was savoring every instant of it. He had showed her a beautiful new world, and she wanted to replay every moment of it in her mind, over and over. She loved lying with him like this, skin on skin. Who would have ever thought it could feel so delicious?
She also experienced a newfound sense of freedom. No more pretenses, everything was out in the open now. She could reach out and touch him anytime she wanted. She no longer needed to hang back or hold back. She felt as if she could fly, as if she were weightless. The cage and the fears that had cramped her for so long seemed to have vanished.
At least for now. Tomorrow would come, and with it all the fears and worries. Nor was she deluded. Austin had come here for a place to get away and sort himself out—not that he struck her as needing a whole lot of sorting—and he would be leaving. Three months, Gage had said. She had no reason to believe that was going to change.
She assured herself she could handle the situation, that she would treasure this time with him and move on. There was no need for it to be anything more than a fling and she’d keep her heart guarded. She certainly had enough experience with that.
Confident of her ability to handle whatever happened, perhaps foolishly so, she turned her head to look up at him and realized that his face reflected tension.
“Is something wrong?” she asked. Her glow began to fade rapidly.
“No,” he said swiftly, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I’m lying here with a beautiful woman enjoying an incredible afterglow.”
