She smiled, but her eyes were empty. ‘I thought as much.’ She squared her shoulders. ‘I’m going upstairs to start packing. Once that stupid PC’s up and running, I’ll look up the next available flight. Don’t try and change my mind, you’ll be wasting your time. We’ve already wasted five years, haven’t we?’
‘Don’t say that, it hasn’t been – ’
‘And here’s your precious photo.’
Before I could stop her, she tore the photo of Emma into little pieces and threw them at me. We both watched in silence as they fluttered to the floor; then she stalked out of the room.
I crouched down and picked up the pieces, one by one, cradling them in my hand. The last piece was her face, a face that I could picture only too well living here, with me, in the years ahead.
I crushed the pieces in my fist and walked slowly into the drawing room. The fire was well ablaze and I stood in front of it, comforted by its warmth and light; yet, at the same time, disturbed by recent memories …
Who had I really been making love to, here on the rug – and upstairs, in my bed?
It was all so obvious. I’d spent the last few days in some sort of denial; even the normally thick-skinned Tamara had detected that. Denial of our crumbling relationship. Denial of my growing fascination with someone else; someone who thought of me as at best a friend, at worst a boring old fart.
I unclenched my fingers and let the pieces fall into the hungry flames.
~~EMMA~~
These days Dad was far less receptive to discussing work matters at home, which I took as yet another sign that he was ready for retirement. So I saved the subject of Saint Jane for our weekly one-to-one on the morning after the Board meeting.
I came straight to the point. ‘Giving Jane a work placement in Marketing will cause me big problems. First, I’ll have to spend time I can’t afford, bringing her up to speed with my ideas for the research project. Second, she won’t have anything like the thorough grounding in marketing theory I got at Harvard, so she’ll only be able to do basic stuff. And last but not least, Harriet can barely cope with the work you and I give her, let alone any extra. I’m having second thoughts about taking her on permanently.’
Dad nodded gloomily. ‘Yes, she’s a lovely girl, but – oh, if only Kate would come back!’
I ignored this and went on, ‘And I don’t see why we need to help Jane anyway. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it.’
‘Now, darling, Mary’s asked me a favour and I can’t refuse, she’s one of my oldest friends and my bridge partner.’ He winced and clutched at his stomach. ‘Must make some more peppermint tea, such a nuisance having to do it myself, but I’m still suffering repercussions from Saturday night.’
‘Aren’t we all?’ I said, under my breath. I certainly was with Philip; and I suspected Mark was with Tamara – you could have cut the atmosphere between them last night with a knife. I went on, in a louder tone, ‘If you hadn’t sent Harriet home yesterday and told her to stay there until she was better, she’d be here to make your tea. In the meantime, the work’s piling up, and that’s even before you’ve hired Jane Fairfax.’ I paused to let this sink in. ‘If Harriet’s not back tomorrow, we’ll have to find another temp for a few days to get up to date – a cost we can easily avoid.’
He sighed. ‘I suppose she could come back, but we’d all need to wear breathing masks, like the ones John used when he sanded those doors down in their last house – ’
‘Dad, please! If she comes back this week, I’ll keep her with me, I won’t let her anywhere near you.’ I bit my lip; that meant I’d have plenty of opportunity to tell her about Philip.
As if he could read my mind, Dad said, ‘And now Philip’s going away just when he’s meant to be working on next year’s budgets.’
This was news to me, especially as I’d found a snotty email from him in my inbox this morning, hassling me for some figures by tomorrow.
‘Where’s he going?’ I asked, hoping for Outer Mongolia on a one-way ticket.
‘To Bristol, on a training course. He claims he told me about it ages ago, activity-based costing or some such nonsense. He’s back in the office on Friday, but he’ll probably be so caught up in newfangled ideas that he won’t be able to concentrate on his priorities.’
Unlike Dad, I was relieved; the less Philip and I – and Philip and Harriet – had to do with each other at the moment, the better.
Then a wonderful thought occurred to me. ‘You know, if Jane has to come here, she could work in Finance rather than Marketing. Philip’s been saying he needs an assistant and it could make all the difference to him getting the budgets out promptly.’
His eyes lit up. ‘Good idea, darling, I’ll give Mary a call and see what she thinks.’ He dialled Batty’s extension. ‘Quick question, Mary – oh? All right then.’ He replaced the receiver. ‘She says I must be psychic, she was about to pop along and see me about something extremely urgent.’
He’d hardly finished speaking when Batty burst in, panting.
‘Ah, you’re here as well, Emma. Good, that saves me a journey.’
Instead of hovering at the door as she usually did, she settled herself on a chair; I knew then that the ‘something extremely urgent’ was nothing more than a juicy piece of gossip.
She lowered her voice, although there was no one else around. ‘Have either of you heard from Mark recently?’
‘Why do you ask?’ I said, wondering what she could possibly know about him that I didn’t.
‘Well, Mother had to go to the doctor’s this morning, and I couldn’t take her because I had Pam Goddard coming in for a little review meeting about … So I got Jack Thomas along, you know, from Aardvark Taxis, he’s related to Doreen Davies in our Purchasing department, such a nice … Anyway, he said he had a call last night from Donwell Abbey and – guess what?’
‘They wanted a taxi?’ Dad said, tentatively.
She tittered. ‘Oh, yes, that goes without saying. But … the taxi was just for Tamara and she had all her luggage with her and he had to take her to Gatwick. She must have gone back to India, that’s almost a week early.’
‘A business crisis perhaps,’ Dad said. ‘I can’t remember what she said she did, but it sounded very important.’
Her eyes gleamed. ‘That’s what I thought, but Jack said she swore at Mark when he tried to help with the bags. Must be a lovers’ tiff, mustn’t it?’
I recalled Tamara’s reaction when she’d found me at Donwell. At the time, I’d dismissed it as natural malevolence combined with a hard day’s shopping. Now I wondered if her crazy suspicions had come between her and Mark.
I merely said, ‘I’m aware that they had a little problem, but of course I would never dream of discussing it with Mark.’
Her face fell. ‘Wouldn’t you? Oh, well … Now, Henry, what did you want to ask me?’
‘Jane’s work placement.’ He paused. ‘Would a role in Finance meet her requirements?’
She gasped. ‘Goodness, I’m afraid that wouldn’t do at all. Much as I like Philip, I couldn’t bear to think of dear Jane closeted with him day in, day out. You never know
what might happen, he’s got such a shifty … No, it has to be Marketing if you don’t mind, Henry. That’s what Jane’s specialising in after all, did I tell you she got top
marks in her … ? And I know she and Emma will love working together, they’ve always got on so well.’
‘That’s settled, then,’ Dad said, with a helpless look at
me.
I got abruptly to my feet. ‘If you’ll both excuse me, I’ve got lots to do.’
I made it all the way back to my office before I gave vent to my frustration. ‘That old bat knows exactly which buttons to push with Dad! And as for dear bloody Jane
– ’ I grabbed my car keys. It would do me good to get out of this place for half an hour – and with any luck I could kill two birds with one stone.
Five minutes later I was at
Donwell Organics, making sure the Mercedes was in its usual parking space; so far, so good. I breezed into Reception and announced that I had an appointment with Mark. The girl rang Cherry and I could tell from her nervous glances in my direction that there was a problem.
‘Shall I speak to Cherry?’ I said coolly. The girl handed me the receiver with obvious relief.
‘Hi, it’s Emma, didn’t Mark mention our mentoring meeting? … Yes, we only arranged it last night, he must have forgotten to let you know … No, don’t do that, I’ll
surprise him.’
I entered his office without a sound. He was standing looking out of the window, hands clasped behind his back, fiddling with his watch.
‘Hello there,’ I said.
He whirled round, his eyes wide and his face pale despite his tan, as if he’d seen a ghost.
‘Sorry if I gave you a fright,’ I went on, ‘I just had to come and find out if it’s true.’
His voice was a hoarse whisper. ‘If what’s true?’
‘That you and Tamara have split up.’
He flinched, then turned away. ‘God, I’d forgotten what this place is like, how there’s no sodding privacy. Don’t tell me, this morning you somehow bumped into the taxi driver … Probably at Highbury Foods, when he was dropping off his wife’s cousin’s mother-in-law who just happens to be one of your employees … He couldn’t help mentioning that he took Tamara to the airport late last night and of course you both jumped to the conclusion that we’d split up.’ He gave a sardonic laugh. ‘One other thing, have you broadcast it to the whole village yet, or are you seeing if there’s a perfectly innocent explanation first?’
Poor Mark, he was obviously devastated by the breakup. I crossed the room, put my arms round his waist and hugged him.
‘Tell me about it,’ I said. ‘After all, that’s what friends are for.’
For a split second he let me hold him, just as I’d let him hold me last night. Then he said brusquely, ‘Thanks, but no thanks’, and shook me off, gently but firmly. He sat down at his desk and started leafing through a neat pile of post, evidently unimportant until now.
I followed him and perched on the edge of the desk. ‘So have you split up?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry.’
He yanked a mind-numbingly thick document from the pile and turned the pages absently. ‘Actually, it’s been in the offing for some time.’
‘Really?’ I paused in surprise, then went on, ‘It can still hurt, though. I remember when I finished with Piers, and then Scott, I was ever so upset – even though it was absolutely the right thing to do. And I hadn’t been with them for anything like as long as you’ve been with Tamara.’ I added wistfully, ‘D’you know, it’s been over two months since I even kissed a man, let alone – ’
‘For God’s sake!’ He put his head in his hands. After a few seconds, he looked up at me and frowned. ‘Sorry, don’t think I can cope with hearing about your sex life right now. Or anyone else’s, for that matter.’
‘No, I’m the one who should apologise, it was very insensitive of me. But, in case you’re wondering, Saturday night doesn’t count because I didn’t kiss Philip back.’ I pulled a face. ‘Which sort of brings me to our mentoring meeting, you were going to ring me today with a date. Now that you’ve, um, got more time on your hands, how about this week?’
He sighed and looked at his PC screen. ‘My diary’s full, meetings from this afternoon onwards, I’m afraid.’
I gave him an encouraging smile. ‘If office hours are no good, what about after work?’
‘I’ve already booked something up for the next two evenings, made some phone calls first thing this morning. And Thursday’s our Board meeting, that always involves dinner.’
‘Friday?’
He hesitated. Then, ‘I’m at Ashridge. Alumni dinner, with a speaker.’
I leaned forward. ‘Anyone of interest?’
‘No one mainstream, you won’t have heard of him.’ He busied himself with the post again, apparently engrossed by something on an Inland Revenue letterhead.
‘Have you, er, got a spare ticket?’
Another sigh. ‘If you mean, was Tamara coming with me – then, yes, she was.’
‘So why don’t I come instead?’ I said eagerly. ‘You wanted to take me there to look at market research reports, remember? We could have our mentoring meeting at the same time.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Please, Mark.’ I reached across the desk and covered his hand with mine.
He snatched his hand away. ‘No, Emma. Another time maybe.’
Something inside me snapped. ‘You made a commitment to mentor me, but it’s – it’s almost as though you’re trying to wriggle out of it!’ Before Saturday, the very suggestion would have been music to my ears; whereas now …
He got up, crossed to the window and stared out at whatever he’d found so absorbing when I arrived. ‘I’m not. I just don’t think taking you to Ashridge is a good idea at the moment.’
‘On the contrary, from my point of view the timing’s bloody perfect. The research would be very useful before I do the focus groups and, as I’ve already told you, on the mentoring front I need advice about Philip, urgently.’
He kept his back to me and his tone was cold and clipped. ‘The answer’s still no.’
‘We’ll see about that,’ I muttered, under my breath.
And I left without another word.
~~MARK~~
There was no way I was spending time on my own with Emma in my present frame of mind. Especially at Ashridge, a former stately home in a beautiful wooded setting; a very romantic environment, which I’d been hoping would revitalise my feelings for Tamara. Although it was barely an hour’s drive away if there were no holdups on the M25, I’d arranged for us to stay overnight …
Tamara emailed me early on Wednesday to say she’d been to my flat in Mumbai, cleared out her belongings and returned everything I’d left at her place. It looked as though she’d already moved on.
So had I, as she’d so bitterly pointed out on Monday night. But ever since then I’d been tormenting myself; not about what I’d left behind with Tamara, but about what I wanted to move to with Emma, however ridiculous that seemed in my more rational moments.
Her visit to my office was a wake-up call, however. When I realised that she’d come as a friend and not for any other reason, I knew I had to stop fantasising and get on with my life – which, in the short term, would consist of work and not much else. After a week or two, I was sure I’d be able to continue mentoring her. Just not at the moment.
I spent Wednesday morning preparing my presentation for the next day’s Board meeting, thirty odd slides on Donwell Organics’ progress towards achieving its strategic objectives. I was just eating a sandwich at my desk when the phone rang. As Cherry was at lunch, I answered it.
‘Knightley.’
‘Mark?’
‘Henry, good to hear from you.’ I knew better than to ask, ‘How are you?’
‘I’ve got a little favour to ask.’ He hesitated. ‘Emma says you’ve got a spare ticket for a dinner at Ashridge this Friday?’
So now Henry was angling for an invitation. I smiled to myself; taking him would be an entirely different challenge, but one I felt far better prepared for.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It was going to be for Tamara – ’
‘Ah yes, sorry to hear about you two. I imagine the time of year had something to do with it, our English autumn must have been a terrible shock to her system. Do you know, I think she might have caught a chill on Saturday night? I’m sure you’ll be able to resolve any little differences once you’re back in India with her.’
I steered the conversation firmly away from Tamara and me. ‘You were saying, about Ashridge?’
‘Ashridge?’
‘The dinner on Friday.’
‘It’s the speaker I’m particularly interested in. I believe it’s Charles Durham ta
lking about sustainable and ethical growth in the food and drink industry, a subject very dear to my heart.’
I wondered where he’d got his information from. I couldn’t imagine him surfing the Ashridge website, given that he didn’t even have a PC in his office. Not that it mattered; the main thing was that I would certainly have a much more relaxing evening than if I took Emma.
‘It’s dear to mine as well,’ I said. ‘And I’ve heard he’s rather controversial, so I’m looking forward to a lively debate with you on the drive home.’
He chuckled. ‘My dear boy, the spare ticket’s not for me, you know I don’t go out at night if I can help it. It’s for Emma, of course. She tells me she’s been fascinated by Charles Durham’s work for a long time and it would be a dream come true to go and hear him speak.’
‘Are you saying you want me to take Emma to Ashridge on Friday?’ I said heavily.
‘Yes, please. And since you’re a bit behind with the mentoring, you can do some of that as well, can’t you? As she says, you may be one of our oldest friends, but business is business all the same.’
~~EMMA~~
Harriet returned to work on Wednesday and I decided to tell her about Philip as soon as a suitable opportunity came along.
With this in mind, I took her out to lunch at Chez Pierre, a smart little restaurant in Crossingley. I had plenty of openings to discuss Philip; in fact, he was the main topic of conversation throughout our meal. Over the wild boar pâté, she wondered what he might be doing in Bristol. Next, the sole Véronique reminded her that he raved about the fish in beer batter at The Ploughman. Then, as we enjoyed a large bowl of profiteroles each, she confided that his behaviour towards me at the Board meeting was due to his star sign, which she believed was Virgo. When I asked her to explain, she told me that his horoscope for Monday had predicted ‘a cosmic clash with a feisty female work colleague’.
The Importance of Being Emma Page 12
