by Duncan, MJ
The sound of the cabin door clicking shut went unheard by either of them as they shuffled together toward the bed. Clothes fell to the floor in random bursts, a shirt here, a pair of shorts there, until there was nothing left between them. The sheets were cool to the touch as Grey guided Lauren back onto the bed, their lips clasped in a kiss that was a potent mix of desperation and pure emotion.
Lauren wrapped her hands around Grey’s hips and pulled the brunette down on top of her as she lay back on the bed, and her breath caught at the feeling of Grey’s settling so naturally in the cradle of her thighs. Their kisses gentled to a degree that made Lauren’s heart ache, and she swallowed thickly around a lump that had lodged itself in her throat as Grey’s lips began trailing over her jaw.
Grey’s hands wrapped lightly around Lauren’s ribs as she kissed her way down her throat, lingering on the spots that made Lauren gasp before moving on, every brush of lips a tender declaration she did not have the courage to speak aloud. She flicked the tip of her tongue over the hollow at the base of Lauren’s throat, and dragged her nose over the line of her sternum. A lingering kiss was pressed to the spot above Lauren’s heart before Grey moved on, mapping the supple curves of Lauren’s body in a languid exploration. Wet kisses and gentle nips that left Lauren’s skin pink and glistening marked her path, one that she silently prayed no one else would ever follow.
Her pulse slowed to a steady, heavy beat as she worshipped Lauren with lips and teeth and tongue. She lost herself in the sweet taste of Lauren's desire, was lulled by the feeling of strong hips rolling against her mouth. The silky brush of Lauren's thighs against her cheeks was hypnotic; the soft whimpers and mewls tumbling from her lips more enchanting than any siren's song. Her stomach fluttered at the feeling of Lauren’s fingers combing lightly through her hair, and her stomach clenched at the sight of Lauren arched above her with her head thrown back in pleasure.
She was entranced. Ensnared. And she never wanted to break free.
Grey knew by the quickening of Lauren’s hips that she was close, and she brought her over the edge with a few final tender flicks of her tongue. She watched, spellbound as Lauren trembled above her, the sounds of Lauren’s pleasure stoking her own until her body seized with a gentler, sympathetic orgasm.
She eased Lauren through the length of her release and then, when her trembling eased, leaned her cheek against Lauren’s inner thigh, content to watch her bask in the afterglow.
This is all I need, she thought to herself as her eyes swept over Lauren’s spent form, tracking the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Just this. Just her.
Her heart began to beat faster with the realization that Lauren was leaving soon, heading back to New York and a life that did not include her, and she sucked a sharp breath in through her nose as reality slammed back into her with all the force and forgiveness of a runaway train.
She turned her head into Lauren’s leg and squeezed her eyes shut against the sting of tears that threatened, but it did no good as a few leaked out anyway. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the whimper she could feel bubbling in her throat from escaping. Ever since Emily had gotten sick, she had not expected much of the world beside hurt and pain. She had been content to drift from one moment to the next, occasionally finding a rare burst of happiness, but mostly just existing in a world painted gray. But here, now, with tiny fissures spreading across the surface of her heart—her heart that Lauren had somehow made whole again—she allowed herself to hope for something more than the half-life she had been living.
Her gaze landed on Lauren’s, and her heart skipped a beat. She knew that she should not do it, but hope had sprung recklessly in her veins and she could not resist its seductive pull. “Stay.” The plea was a shaky whisper that barely tumbled past her lips, but she knew Lauren had heard by the way her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in surprise.
“Grey, I…” Lauren shook her head, wishing that things were that simple.
Grey’s heart pounded wildly in her throat as she swept up Lauren’s body to press their foreheads together. “Please,” she begged softly, laying her heart on the line as she stared beseechingly into Lauren’s eyes. “Stay with me.”
Lauren sighed, hating how, just at the sound, Grey seemed to deflate in front of her. “I can’t.”
It had been a foolish hope, Grey knew, but that did little to stem the icy tide of rejection that washed through her. Grey shook her head and pulled away from Lauren, her heart seizing painfully with the final dying beat of the hope she had allowed to bloom inside her. Grey bit her lip, growing more frustrated with herself by the second for daring to ask Lauren to stay. Of course Lauren was not going to. She had known all along that this was temporary, and she had been stupid to ever think that it might be something more. “Yeah. I know.”
“Do you?” Lauren challenged, sitting up and ducking her head to catch Grey’s eye.
“Yeah, of course,” Grey brushed her off and tried to slip out of the bed, the urge to flee and protect herself too strong to resist, but a gentle hand on her arm stopped her.
“No.” Lauren hooked a finger under Grey’s chin, lifting the brunette’s eyes to her own. She knew exactly how hard it must have been for Grey to open herself up like she just had, and she would be damned if she let Grey think that she had rejected her because she did not want her. “I don’t think you do. The idea of staying here with you is tempting—so very, very tempting—but I just can’t. Not right now, anyways.”
Grey blew out a loud breath and ran a hand through her hair. She understood where Lauren was coming from, but understanding did not make it any easier to hear. “I get it,” she said, her voice carrying none of its usual strength. She had hoped and lost, and now she was just looking to survive. “I get it, I do. I just…” She shook her head, defeat clearly written in her expression as she looked into Lauren’s muddy hazel eyes. “I don’t want to lose this.”
“Me neither,” Lauren whispered, her heart breaking as she adjusted her hold so that she was gently cradling Grey’s jaw in her hand. She smoothed her thumb over Grey’s cheek, hoping that the tender touch would provide some kind of comfort. “But, sweetie…it’s only been two weeks. I can’t possibly just walk away from everything I’ve worked so hard for because I spent the two happiest weeks of my life in the Virgin Islands with you.”
Grey turned her face into Lauren’s palm and pressed a soft kiss to the middle of it. “I know.” She sighed and looked back into Lauren’s eyes, wishing that things were different. “It just…”
“Sucks,” Lauren supplied.
“Yeah,” Grey agreed softly. She huffed a mirthless laugh and shook her head. “So what do we do now?”
“I don’t know. I guess it depends on whether or not we want to put the time in and see if this thing between us is real.”
“Do you?”
Lauren nodded. “Yeah. I do.” She finally gave in to the urge to try and kiss the frown from Grey’s lips, and her stomach fluttered hopefully at the way Grey responded to her.
They kissed slowly, sweetly, every brush of lips a silent confirmation that what they shared was something worth fighting for, and Grey let out a shaky breath when they finally broke apart. “Me too.”
“Good.” Lauren smiled sadly and nodded. “Do you think you’d be able to get up to New York any time soon to visit?”
Grey blew out a loud breath and ran a hand through her hair as she tried to picture her schedule for the next few months. “I think I have a four-day block off in early February. Nothing before that though, because it’s the high season. Those three days off we just had are rare. My charters are usually booked back-to-back.”
The idea of not seeing Grey for a couple months made Lauren’s stomach drop, but it was better than nothing. “Okay.” Lauren brushed a soft kiss across Grey’s lips. “Would you come up then?”
“In February?”
“Yeah.”
Grey nodded. “Yeah.”
Chapter 45
The throaty rumble of an outboard engine drew her attention toward the stern, and her breath caught at the sight of Grey expertly steering the small craft toward her. Grey was an absolute vision with her windblown hair and toned physique, and Lauren felt her heart stutter as she looked at her.
Knowing that leaving was the right decision did little to ease the ache that settled squarely in her chest, and Lauren shook her head as the urge to stay swept through her. She had been the strong one the night before, thinking rationally, doing the smart and mature thing, but it had not been easy. She had lain awake all night in the safe haven of Grey’s arms, letting her tears fall silently to her pillow as she wondered where she would find the strength to actually go back to New York.
She lifted her hand in greeting as Grey killed the dinghy’s engine and drifted toward the Veritas, and felt her stomach drop at the pained smile she got in return. The day had not been easy for either of them, and she knew that Grey was thinking the same thing she was.
Their time was almost up.
Lauren folded her arms over her chest as she watched Grey tie the dinghy’s bow line off to the cleat by the dive platform, and tried to force a small smile when Grey started up the stairs toward her. “Hey.”
“Lauren,” Grey sighed as she stepped onto the back deck. Her stomach twisted violently at the pained expression on Lauren’s face, and she shook her head as she pulled Lauren into her arms. “Come here, baby.”
The day had been long, and Grey tried to console herself with the idea that watching Lauren walk away the next morning would not be goodbye—but that did little more than take the worst of the sting away. Because no matter their promises to call, email, text, and Skype as much as possible, the fact remained that, after tomorrow, Lauren would not be aboard the Veritas with her.
Lauren melted into Grey’s embrace, which was far gentler than any they had shared all day, and her heart broke a little bit more as she buried her face in the curve of Grey’s neck. God, I am going to miss this.
“Shh, I know.” Grey rubbed Lauren’s back gently. “It’s okay.” She blinked back her tears and leaned her cheek against the top of Lauren’s head. “It’s okay.”
“What time do you have to go back and pick them up?” Lauren mumbled into Grey’s neck.
“They’ll call. I have a feeling it will be late since this is their last night in the islands.”
Lauren sniffled and lifted her head to offer Grey a watery smile, and her stomach dropped when she got an identical smile back. “Good.”
The sight of Lauren’s tears made Grey’s spill free, and she swallowed around a lump in her throat as she pressed a tender kiss to Lauren’s forehead. “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it,” Lauren half-laughed, half-sobbed, feeling like an idiot because she had been the one to insist that she return to New York. “I just…”
“I know.” Grey’s voice was just as rough as pulled back and took Lauren’s hands in her own. She tugged her toward the salon, and was relieved when Lauren followed her. A feeling of peace swept over her when she closed the cabin door behind them, and she sighed as she pulled Lauren into her arms once more. It felt so right to hold her, and she wanted to do nothing else for the rest of the night. She brushed her lips over Lauren’s ear and whispered, “Cuddle with me?”
Lauren traced Grey’s jaw with her fingertips and nodded. “Of course.”
Grey toed off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, and smiled sadly when Lauren did the same. “Come here,” she whispered as she drew Lauren into her, wrapping her arms around her waist and holding her close.
The feeling of Grey’s arms around her was instantly relaxing, and Lauren curled herself around Grey’s side. She rested her head on Grey’s chest, and let the slow, steady beat of Grey’s heart calm her. She sighed softly at the feeling of Grey’s fingers stroking lazily up and down her spine, the touch so gentle and reassuring, and she let her eyes drift shut as she selfishly took the comfort Grey was offering her. “That feels good.”
“Good.” Grey brushed her lips over Lauren’s forehead and, on her next pass, slipped her fingers beneath the hem of her shirt. “Is this okay?” she asked as she stroked the soft skin of Lauren’s lower back.
“Yes,” Lauren breathed. She licked her lips and let her left hand, which had been splayed across Grey’s stomach, drift beneath the brunette’s shirt as well. “This?”
Grey closed her eyes at the feeling of Lauren’s fingers tracing the line of her right oblique and sighed. “Absolutely perfect.”
“Good.” Lauren turned her head to press her lips to the underside of Grey’s chin. One kiss became two, and she whimpered when Grey shifted and the brunette’s lips landed lightly on her own. The kiss was achingly tender, and she pulled back with a gasp when Grey’s tongue flicked across her lips. Grey’s eyes were swirling with so much emotion that it stole the breath from her lungs, and she could not hold back the quiet groan that rumbled in her throat as she gave herself over to it.
Grey melted into the bed as Lauren rolled more fully on top of her, the redhead’s hand inching up her stomach until her fingertips tickled the underside of her breast. “Please,” she whispered, arching up into the touch.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” Grey covered Lauren’s hand with her own and pulled it higher. A shaky breath escaped her at the feeling of Lauren’s palm dragging over her nipple, and she nodded, answering the question she could see shining in Lauren’s gaze. She wanted this. Wanted her. It might be the thing that broke her completely, but she needed to fall apart under Lauren’s hands one more time before she watched her walk away. The next few months before she could make it up to New York to see Lauren again were going to be hell, and she wanted this memory to help her through them. “God, Lauren. Please touch me.”
Lauren’s heart thudded heavily in her throat at the desperate edge in Grey’s voice, and she moaned softly as she squeezed the breast under her hand. “Okay.”
They undressed each other slowly between languid kisses, fingers trailing lightly over warm skin as they gave up all pretense of control and lost themselves in the moment. Every touch burned with a depth of affection neither was willing to voice, but it was conveyed all the same in the soft sighs that tumbled from their lips.
Lauren’s head fell forward, her forehead bumping against Grey’s as long fingers pushed slowly inside her, and she immediately mirrored the touch, thrusting swiftly into the wet warmth that waited for her. Her heart fluttered at the feeling of Grey’s body drawing her in deeper, and she moaned as Grey’s free hand curled around the back of her neck and pulled her down into a kiss that was so deep and passionate that it made her head spin.
It did not take long for their bodies to fall into the easy rhythm that was theirs and theirs alone, and Grey gasped as her heart skipped a beat at the feeling of Lauren’s fingers filling her so completely. She opened herself to the woman above her, taking all that Lauren had to give and giving all of herself in return. She matched Lauren’s slow, deep thrusts stroke for stroke as they eased each other higher and higher, and she groaned when the white heat of impending release began to spread through her. “No. Not yet.”
“Yes,” Lauren encouraged softly, dusting the lightest of kisses over Grey’s lips.
“I’m not ready.” Grey squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back against the mattress, straining against the traitorous euphoria building inside her. She wanted more, wanted more time to commit the feeling of Lauren’s fingers inside her to memory, to burn the feeling of Lauren’s body rocking against her own into her brain so that she would be able to remember every last detail without any effort at all. “Not yet.”
Lauren’s smile was sad as she brushed her lips over Grey’s chin. “Sweetie�
��”
“Please, Lauren,” Grey whispered, rolling her hips away from the hand between her legs, trying to lessen the sensation building inside her. She cried out softly as it instead sent bolts of electricity arcing through her. She clung to Lauren as release swept through her without her permission, suffusing her body with pleasure even as her heart broke all over again.
“I know,” Lauren whispered, nuzzling Grey’s cheek with her own as she cradled the brunette to her, her eyes squeezed shut against the truth they could no longer ignore. “I know.”
Chapter 46
If Lauren had thought things between her and Grey had been uncomfortable her first few days aboard the Veritas, those days had nothing on her final morning. Waking up in each other’s arms only served to highlight the fact that it was the last time they would be doing so for the foreseeable future. They showered together, letting the water washing over them clear away their tears as they took advantage of their final time alone, fingers reverently tracing every curve and valley in an attempt to stave off the inevitable.
Breakfast had been an utter failure. Lauren had made waffles because they were Grey’s favorite, but neither of them felt much like eating. The desperate kiss they had shared in the doorway of Lauren’s cabin after the breakfast dishes were cleared was wet with their tears, and it took Grey more than a minute after they broke apart to get enough control of herself to make her way up to the helm.
Lauren spent the sail back to Charlotte Amalie packing. She wanted to spend the time with Grey, but she had put the task off for far too long already, and if she did not do it then, she would most likely miss her flight. Retrieving all of her things that had migrated across the small hall to Grey’s cabin had been pure torture, and she was so blinded by tears when she returned to her own cabin that she just blindly shoved the toiletries and random articles of clothing into her bag to get them out of her sight.
