by Lila Moore
The second they arrived there was a minor emergency. Shonda told them to bring several designer outfits that would be appropriate for a movie premiere. What she neglected to tell them was that I was done with the old me. Jamie Kelly, America’s Sweetheart was dead. I couldn’t wait to bury her. My stylist showed up with a rack of clothes that old me would have worn.
“No. It’s all wrong. I want something sexy, something a little… dangerous?”
To my surprise, my stylist looked thrilled. I suspected she was as tired of dressing me in the same basic, good-girl clothes as I was of wearing them.
“I’ve been dying to dress you in something more avant garde.”
“Let’s not get too crazy,” Shonda said.
“I have so many ideas,” she’s squealed. She disappeared into the next room while chattering on her cell phone. Within an hour, a rack of new dresses had arrived. In the meantime, my hair and makeup people started to work their magic. They wanted to style me the same old way, but I put my foot down.
“No,” I protested. “I want my hair to stay curly. And can you make my makeup a bit darker? Like smoky eyes? Dark lipstick?”
They set to work. When I emerged two hours later, I looked like a new person. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair was shiny and full with curly tendrils; my blue eyes popped with thick eyelashes and a smoky eyeshadow. I barely recognized myself, but I liked the person I saw in the mirror.
“What do you think?” my stylist asked. She held up a white dress that had long cut out patterns combined with a strange asymmetrically cut skirt. It looked like a costume in a Sci-Fi movie. I was trying to think of a polite way to say no, when Shonda blurted out: “It’s hideous.”
My stylists looked hurt, as if it was a personal insult.
“Maybe something a little more toned down?” I said.
She pulled a strapless, long black leather dress off the rack. “What do you think? It’s vampy, but not too interesting.”
I ignored her tone, even though she was implying I was too boring to wear a dress like the one she’d first suggested. Tonight, I would have to let it slide. Tomorrow I’d worry about everyone who’d insulted and wronged me in this business.
If there was a tomorrow.
I put on the dress with a pair of black stiletto heels and looked at myself in the mirror. The slit on the dress was high, revealing my leg all the way to the hip. I’d never worn a dress this revealing before.
“You look hot,” my makeup artist said. Everyone in the room agreed. I appreciated their support, but I still felt uncomfortable.
“Shonda? What do you think? Is it too much?”
“It’s perfect,” she replied. “It’s like I said, you’re a bad girl now. America’s Sweetheart never really suited you anyway. This is more genuine.”
I hated the idea of being rebranded, but Shonda was right. When I dressed like the girl next door I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. This felt like me.
“Louis just arrived. The limo is on standby. Are you-” Theo said as he entered the room. When he saw me, he stopped in his tracks. He cleared his throat. “The limo is on standby.”
An awkward moment passed as he took in the new me.
“Thank you, everyone. Jamie has to leave now. You are dismissed,” Shonda said to my style team.
Everyone left, leaving me alone with Shonda and Theo.
“You look stunning,” he said.
I bit my lip and shrugged. It was at that moment Louis came walking into the room. I’d never felt less happy to see him.
“Jamie… you look good,” he said, sounding surprised.
“Are you saying I didn’t look good before?”
“No. I just mean… you look hot.”
“No, no, no,” his publicist said. “You have to change. The dress, that makeup, it’s all wrong. You’re a victim, remember?”
“I’m not changing a damn thing. If you don’t like the way I look, then you can fuck off,” I said.
His publicist looked as if she’d been slapped. “Excuse me? Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“Ladies, please,” Shonda said, trying to restore the peace. “We don’t have time to change anything. In fact, we’re already running late. Unless you’d prefer if Jamie stayed home instead of attending?”
“No,” she said quickly. “She has to be there.”
Theo and I exchanged a look.
“You look like a cheap slut,” she added. Louis laughed. “But I suppose it will have to do.”
Theo’s face twisted with rage. “Apologize,” he demanded. Louis and his publicist looked taken aback. “Apologize, or no one’s going anywhere tonight, including your client.”
“Theo, it’s no big deal,” I said. I didn’t want him to lose his temper and ruin the plan.
“No, it’s fine,” Louis’s publicist said sarcastically, “I’ll apologize. I’m sorry for calling you a cheap slut, Jamie. My deepest, most heartfelt apologies. Can we leave now?”
Theo took a step towards her. I didn’t want him to start anything now. We needed to get to the premiere.
“Apology accepted. Now, let’s go.”
We rode the elevator down in silence. When we piled into the limo, I felt like we were on our way to a funeral. If tonight didn’t go as planned, I could end up dead.
We pulled up to the red carpet. Outside my window, fans shouted, cameras flashed. The press was lined up, desperate to get an interview with me. I took in the sight with dread.
“This could be the last thing I ever see,” I whispered to no one in particular.
“Have you gone mental?” Louis said. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing.”
Shonda handed me her phone. It was open to Gossip Guru’s website. The inside scoop on my kidnapper had gone live a couple hours ago. I hoped my kidnapper had read it. It was one thing for Louis’s publicist to set up my death; it was another to convince my abductor to kill me.
Up until yesterday, he’d wanted to keep me as his slave. Hopefully, that article would be enough to push him over the edge. He would lose control and do what Louis’s publicist told him to do. I had no doubt she’d stoked the flames when she spoke to him.
The article was vicious. It quoted anonymous law enforcement sources that claimed my abductor was impotent, sexually attracted to his mother, and too weak to keep a tiny girl like me captive. The overall tone was mocking and condescending. It was so brutal I almost felt sorry for my kidnapper. Almost-but not quite.
I passed the phone back to Shonda.
“What’s going on?” Louis asked suspiciously.
“Nothing. Just more media requests,” Shonda lied.
“You’re not supposed to do any press without me,” Louis said.
“I know the deal better than you do. I don’t need you to lecture me. Let’s get this over with,” I said.
I took one last look out the window, then stepped out onto the red carpet.
19
I was immediately blinded by flashing lights. I blinked and saw stars in my eyes. I couldn’t see a thing. Voices shouted incoherently around me. I couldn’t make out their faces. I might as well have been blindfolded.
The camera flashes left me in the dark. I should have known this would happen. I’ve walked a hundred red carpets. It’s always the same. The lights are blinding, the noise deafening. I should have anticipated this.
I looked for Theo. My life was in his hands now. Hopefully, he was close by. He could have been standing three feet away and I wouldn’t have seen them. That also meant my kidnapper could be standing nearby.
I swallowed hard. Louis’s hand slipped around my waist. I jumped at his touched. He gave me a hard sidelong glance. We were a couple as far as the world knew. We needed to act like one. Only I was done playing pretend for the tabloids. I shrugged off his touch and took a step forward. A small white X marked the spot on the red carpet where we were supposed to stop and pose for pictures. I bypassed it and
went to the screaming fans.
They were being held back by a gate that looked like it was about to break. A line of security guards pushed the crowd back and tried to calm them, but it was no use. They were on the verge of turning into a mob.
I smiled and started to sign autographs. They screamed as I signed my name to photos and posed for selfies. Like all fans, they wanted to get close. Nearly every person I passed reached out and touched me. It was as if they couldn’t believe I was real, by touching me they confirmed I wasn’t an illusion.
After everything I’d been through, I didn’t want strangers putting their hands on me, but I didn’t have much choice. One girl reached out and touched my curls. I thought she would rip a lock free, but she only smiled and said: “It’s much better this way. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling weirdly touched by her compliment.
I moved down the line, signing autographs and taking pictures. I was just starting to get my vision back when I reached the end of the gate. There were still countless people waiting to take a photo with me, but I needed to get back to the red carpet. I tried to look casual as I glanced over the crowd. I knew every eye was on me. I scanned the faces quickly, but didn’t see my kidnapper among them. I don’t know why, but I was sure he was here, watching.
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I swallowed hard and forced a relaxed expression onto my face. It was only a matter of time before it happened. He would attack me in public. Not only was it what Louis’s publicist wanted, but I think my kidnapper wanted it to. He wanted to prove something to the world.
The Gossip Guru article was a public insult; he would answer it in kind by humiliating me in public the only way he knew how to: by killing me.
Suddenly, Theo was at my side. He gently took my arm and whispered in my ear: “Time to move on.”
I nodded. He led me back to the red carpet and stepped aside. Once I’d put some distance between myself and the fans, they calmed down a bit. There was something magical about the red carpet. Once I was on it, the fans went back to cheering and snapping photos. It was like I’d returned to the land of fantasy. In their minds, I wasn’t a real person, just a character on the screen. Returning to the red carpet restored their image of me as fictional. In a way, the illusion protected me.
To the fans, I wasn’t real anymore and thus untouchable. There was safety here.
The knots in my stomach eased a bit. I took my mark. The cameras clicked and flashed. Louis rushed over to join me. I couldn’t stop him from wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. I looked up at Louis. He was tall and handsome. His striking eyes and high cheekbones drove everyone wild. I’d always thought of him as a mostly harmless idiot. Was I wrong about him? Was he in on it? I knew his publicist wanted him to play the part of the hero, but Louis didn’t have real feelings for me. He wouldn’t put his life in danger to save me. How would she turn him into a hero with the world watching?
Louis led me down the red carpet to the next group of photographers. They shouted my name as the camera lights flashed. After they took their photos, Louis grabbed my wrist and led me over to a waiting reporter.
I did not want to give interviews, but I had no choice. I tried to pull away, but Louis’s grip tightened on my wrist. The memory of ropes tying me down returned. Something inside me snapped. I twisted free from his grip the way Theo showed me in our self-defense training session. I grabbed Louis’s hand and turned it behind his back. His eyes went wide.
“Jesus, Jamie… what are you doing?”
I suddenly remembered where I was. Several eyes were on us. We stood close to the line of press. I don’t think they were able to get a good picture of what I’d done, but I wasn’t sure. To hell with it, I didn’t care anymore. After tonight, it wouldn’t matter. I released Louis’s wrist.
“I’m not doing any press,” I said blandly, then turned and walked away.
I turned my attention back to the crowd. I was sure the attack would come on the red carpet. Where was he? What was he waiting for? The anticipation was maddening.
Louis bowed awkwardly to the waiting press, then ran to catch up with me. “Slow down,” he whispered. “We have to let this play out.”
“What are you talking about?”
He smiled at me dumbly. “You know…”
“No, I don’t.”
His expression faltered for a moment. Confusion crossed his face. “You didn’t talk to my publicist? She said she ran everything by Shonda.”
I grabbed his arm. “Tell me now. What’s going on?”
A smirk crossed his face. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear. “We’re in character tonight.”
“We’re always in character in public. What’s your point?”
He looked a bit hurt by my words, as if it never occurred to him that I was faking my love and adoration of him.
“Well, you know, Shonda came up with the bit about your stalker showing up tonight. I hear she hired a good actor for the part. Do you know him?” he asked jealously.
I wasn’t surprised by Louis’s question; actor’s hate competition. Louis was probably worried he’d be a better actor than him and steal his thunder. Not only are actors vain and self-centered, they’re also extremely insecure. There’s always someone younger and more talented looking to steal your career out from under you.
“He’s not an actor, you idiot.”
“What are you talking about?” Louis asked.
Realization suddenly hit me: Louis thought this was fake-not just the attack that was supposed to happen to me tonight, but everything.
“Wait a minute-what do you think has been going on these last few days?” I asked.
Louis looked around nervously. People were everywhere, but it was too loud to hear us. Still, he leaned in close and whispered in my ear. Louis was keenly away of how it would look. People would think we were sharing an intimate moment on the red carpet before heading into the movie premiere.
“My publicist told me everything about how Shonda hired a guy to kidnap you,” he said with a wink. “Your acting these last couple days has been amazing. It’s too bad no one will ever learn the truth. You deserve an Oscar for this. I really believed you were scared.”
“It’s not fake. It’s all real.”
Louis laughed. “Sure.” His expression narrowed. “Are you acting right now? I can never tell with you.”
“Of course not, you idiot.”
There was a loud pop from my right. I jumped and turned. At first I thought it was a gunshot, then I saw that one of the gates on the left side of the red carpet had fallen. The fans looked confused. They were used to being held back at the perimeter. Now they were free to run forward. Several security guards stood in their way, but they didn’t have the manpower to hold back the mob of people.
To my surprise, they didn’t rush forward. The crowd walked as far as the line of security guards then stopped. They were well-behaved for once. I scanned the crowd. A thin, sickly man pushed a girl aside then slipped back into the crowd. My throat tightened; I could barely breathe. It was him.
I looked everywhere for Theo. He stood near the reporters. His hands were at his sides balled into fists. He was ready to spring into action. I wanted to scream, ‘It’s him! My kidnapper is hiding in plain sight.’ It would do no good.
I caught Theo’s attention and motioned for him to come over. Calmly and professionally, he walked over to me as if there was nothing to be alarmed about. I grabbed Theo and pulled him close. I wanted to make sure he could hear me over the screaming crowd.
“He’s here,” I yelled. “I saw him over there.” I nodded to the fallen gate. “He’s tall and thin, wearing a trench coat. Look!”
Just then he remerged from the crowd. Now he was at the far side of the throng of people where a gate still stood. He reached into his trench coat and pulled something long out. Theo jumped in front of me as if to shield me from a gunshot. I closed my eyes and held my breath. Th
e sound of a gunshot ringing through the crowd never came. The loud cheers of fans never ceased.
Suddenly, Theo took off running. I was alone and exposed.
I opened my eyes. My kidnapper wasn’t holding a gun; he was holding bolt cutters. He snapped the chains holding the final gate up. It fell with a loud crash. This time the crowd didn’t hold back. They rushed forward, overpowering the security team.
I lost sight of Theo. He was trying to reach my kidnapper, disappearing into the crowd. The mob rushed towards me like a wave. I turned to find that Louis was gone. I caught sight of him just as he disappeared through a doorway, saving himself. So much for his big hero moment. His publicist would be furious.
I stood my ground. I was still battered and sore from being held in captivity. I didn’t think I could outrun them if I tried. I watched as the crowd approached. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. The crowd roared; lights flashed around me. The paparazzi wouldn’t save me. Their priority was getting a good picture of the destruction. A photo of me being ripped apart by fans would be worth millions to them.
This was it. The end. I should have known my kidnapper would be too much of a coward to kill me himself. He’d let the crowd do his dirty work for him.
I watched as two brave security guards attempted to hold back the mob. They were quickly overtaken, disappearing underfoot. I hoped they weren’t hurt.
I held my breath as the crowd grew near. In a matter of seconds this would all be over for me.
A girl at the head of the mob tripped, taking a dozen other people out with her. It slowed the crowd down long enough for a figure to emerge from the group. Theo. He sprinted for me and dove, throwing me over his shoulder. I barely had time to react. As soon as Theo had me in his arms he took off running.
I watched from my position on his shoulder as the crowd grew near. A girl got close enough to reach out and touch my hair. Luckily, she wasn’t able to grab it. She smiled at me and shouted: “Jamie!”
