She loved him, and thought they’d be the one’s walking down the aisle this summer. But no, instead they broke up six months ago.
She was just starting to get over him when this news came. I watched it put her right back at that place she was at months ago when she was trying her best to get over Tom.
I knew loss of love all too well, but my story was a little different to most, and one I didn’t want to think about right now. Especially when I was being accused of having no heart.
“But, at least you’re drunk and not crying like yesterday.” I meant to say that a little better.
“Thank you miss I have heart. That was a little heartless.” She pouted pushing out her full red lips.
“I’m sorry. It’s the drink. I mean you’ll live. Forget Tom. You can and will do better. I know it.” I nodded. It was true. Bernice was beautiful with her golden skin and long curly black hair. All the women in her family were, as they had that exotic beauty most Latina women had. Her family came from Brazil, so she had all kinds of beauty.
I wasn’t jealous. I knew I could hold my own, but there was something to be said about people who looked unique, and had the kind of presence that made you want to stare.
That was Bernice. I was certain she would be fine.
“Thank you. I needed that, and that was heart. Maybe that’s what our Jason means.”
“Oh shit, you are agreeing with him.” I snapped grimacing.
“No, “ she protested. “I’m just saying that maybe you could take a little bit of his advice. He is our boss after all.”
“So what? That’s never been a problem. I do what feels like me. He’s trying to change that part of me.”
She sighed and gave me a pensive look.
I’d never had to worry about that in all the five years I’d worked here. I did my internship here straight out of college and was so good they kept me. That was what?
Six years now. I came here when I was at the young age of 24, after securing the placement in the summer of my final year of college.
I was going to be 30 at the end of the year and had to say that I’d never expected to have accomplished all the things that I had.
Even Bernice had to acknowledge that. We met here. She was an intern too but diverged to the management side of things, after deciding that she preferred it to trying to secure an editorial position.
She’d seen me throw myself into work, and knew I wouldn’t have to worry about impressing anyone.
Least of all this guy.
He seemed to me to be one of those people who tried to spoil a good thing so they could make their own mark.
He only had this company because our beloved Elizabeth had retired. She’d made her millions on the magazine and decided that she wanted to spend the rest of her life travelling the world with her husband and spending time with her family.
I heard she sold it cheap too, which was a shame as it attracted someone like this guy who wanted to change it all up.
I’d heard a few complaints here and there, but it seemed like he wanted to make the biggest changes to me.
It was absurd and I just couldn’t believe the ridiculousness, and prepostrousneity. God was that even a word?
Preposterous.
That’s what I meant.
Yup I was drunk too. Which meant I needed to grab a taxi home. Shit. I really didn’t want to leave my car here. I loved coming in and going home in my car, taxi’s just threw me off balance.
“You know what. Screw it. You’re right. And I want more wine.” She moved to the table where I’d placed the second bottle of wine and brought it over with a packet of Cheetos.
I giggled at her trying to walk in a straight line and failing miserably.
“Did you respond to the last email?” She asked sitting back down and popping the cork off the bottle.
“No. I haven’t. He keeps asking to meet with me.”
“You haven’t met him yet?” She asked with her brown eyes wide.
“Nope and I don’t want to.”
“You’re going to have a hard time avoiding him.” She laughed as she poured herself a glass.
I inhaled the sweet smell that wafted from it and knew I shouldn’t have anymore. However, I thought the hell with it I needed more. Another glass, or two. I hated when people criticized me. Especially when I was doing a good job.
I knew that heart warmth and emotion were great, but they could also be a curse. I knew that all too well, and it was now my daily curse that probably –if I’m honest, and I am – resonates in my advice.
Today’s modern woman couldn’t afford to wear her heart on her sleeve. She would get taken advantage of. Simple. There was no way around that.
Unfortunately, a good eighty percent of guys were dogs. Okay maybe I’d lower that to seventy five and a half. And, I knew I may sound like I was an expert and on the receiving end of a lot of break ups, but the truth was I wasn’t.
I’d been burned by love, but in a way that made me see truth. It opened my eyes to what I had and how precious it was. That it was hard to find and I was lucky to have had it.
Luck.
That was what I thought it came down to. Or, maybe God just leant me one of his angels.
Paul.
I closed my eyes to relieve the stinging sensation that gripped them at the memory of him. When I opened my eyes again I reached for the bottle that Bernice had placed near me and poured the wine into my glass until it reached the brim.
This whole thing. The emails, the criticism, and poor Bernice was making me think of Paul.
I couldn’t think about him now. Not now. Later perhaps, like I usually did, but not now.
He tended to surface in my waking thoughts when I was depressed or annoyed. On this occasion I was going to trade depressed for angry.
“What are you going to do?” Bernice slurred. “Chica, you can’t hide forever?”
“Forget me, this meet up was for you.” I pointed to her. “The emails were for a laugh.”
She flicked her wrist at me. “I have to get over Tom. It’s simple. Good thing my best friend is Ask Paige. I can ask for your advice any ol...old time.”
“My advice is to find the next guy who will rock your world. Forget Tom, there are absolutely more fish in the sea.”
“Hey, I think I deserve a little more Ask Paige right now. Give me the kind of juice you’d give if I wrote in. Let’s pretend.” Her eyes flickered with mischief. She knew the kind of advice I gave, and yes, I knew exactly what to say. Even in my drunken state.
“Don’t even bother to waste time on that loser Tom. Grab your next guy tonight. And not just any old guy.” I beamed at her and grabbed the ends of my ponytail. The dark ends curl around my thumb as I twist it. “Get the hottest guy. Go to the wine bar on main. The one all the finest men go to, and when you see him make sure he sees you. You got this, I know you do. Strike up a conversation and go to a five starred hotel. Then have wild sex until you can’t even remember who Tom is.”
Bernice looked at me with her lips slightly agape. She fluttered her eyelashes and then started fanning herself with her hand.
“Fuck, you are good. I actually believe I can do that.”
Again, even in my drunken state I knew I instilled confidence in women. Even the ones who’d felt completely scorned by men who had cheated on them, lied to them, gave them false hope.
I was the cosmopolitan queen, and none of that fucking crap about heart warmth was going to get to me.
I grabbed a sheet from the email print out I’d set down on the desk before me and a pen from the ceramic holder.
I knew exactly what I was going to write back to our new boss.
After the first email he sent me last week I conjured up this weird image of him, as to what he looked like.
I saw someone who looked like Colonel Sanders, but wearing a robe like a shepherd would. Someone who was very sort of nineteen fifties who said things like swell, and good golly. Like in that movie Ple
asantville.
I was about to give his Pleasantville ass a rude awakening.
“What are you doing?” Bernice poured more wine.
“Responding to his majesty, Colonel Sanders.”
“Paige, you kill me. He doesn’t look like Colonel Sanders.” Bernice was laughing so much she could barely speak.
“Leave me alone. If he looks like Colonel Sanders in my head, then that is what he looks like.”
She continued to laugh.
I wrote the following straight from my heart.
Dear Jason,
Thank you for your emails. It sounds like you need to get laid, or possibly have a sex marathon.
Today’s modern woman doesn’t need to be put in a category to serve men, and I’m sorry if you think my advice lacks heart warmth, or whatever it was you said. It is what it is.
Now maybe you should take a lesson or two from me. It could spice up your love life in the most unimaginable ways. Imagine being with a woman who will rock your world. It’s the difference between a $2 hook up and a mind-blowing experience.
I will gladly show you what I mean so call me if you need clarification on any of the matters discussed. I look forward to meeting you.
Paige
* * *
I was laughing so much I could just about hold the grip on the pen to write my name.
I grabbed an envelope and popped the letter in and sealed it. Then I wrote his name on the front, put some of my red lipstick on and placed a big kiss next to his name.
“What did you write? You didn’t show me.” Bernice frowned.
“Never mind.” I set the envelope down and downed the wine in my glass.
Once I sipped the last drop my brain felt foggy and I couldn’t remember what I was doing.
Bernice took the envelope, carefully undid it and took the letter out. She squealed when she read it.
“You can’t send him this!”
“I know, but it felt good to write.” I wasn’t really going to send him the note. I actually can’t remember what I was going to do, but I wasn’t stupid.
“Bernice what is…” my voice trailed off as the room started to spin.
The last thing I remembered before resting my head on the desk was Bernice laughing and saying something about sheep.
2
Paige
It was like being in a time slip.
Or being drugged and waking up to find you’d been kidnapped and taken to some far country where they were going to harvest your organs.
I’d watched too many films but that is how I felt. When I lifted my head I knew it was the next day, and that I was still in the mailroom, but as to what time of day it was I had no idea.
I slept here. How embarrassing. I can’t believe I fell asleep at work. What the hell is wrong with me?
Depending on when it was the mail room staff would have come in and seen me. Maybe it was still quite early, because it was quiet.
Where was Bernice?
Couldn’t she have called me a taxi? Or, at least seen to it that I got home.
It was bright outside, so bright my eyes hurt to look at the radiant sunlight spilling through the window. It felt like torture to even try to force myself to look.
I made a move to stand but then I scanned over the desk before me and realized something.
It’s been cleaned.
The glasses that were there last night were gone and…
No wait.
The emails that I printed off were on the desk last night.
Oh wait, and the note. I bit down hard on my lips as I remembered the note.
Where was everything? I grabbed my bag and started looking through it. The papers weren’t there.
I found my phone and saw that it was nearly nine, which was bad but a small relief. Most people started turning up from around nine- thirty onwards.
I found Bernice’s number and called her but the phone went straight to her voicemail.
I hated feeling so disorientated. What I needed was a shower, or a bath. This craziness required a bath. A long hot bath where I could soak for hours.
Not exactly what I should be doing now since I was here, and in the same clothes as yesterday, and I knew my hair looked a mess. But, I knew a bath would do the trick.
I could go home quickly, sort myself out and then get back here before lunch. I didn’t live far from San Francisco Bay but the traffic could be a nightmare during the pre-lunch hours. There was an ease just after lunch when it wasn’t so busy, but I didn’t think it would go down so well being away all day. The new guy was already on my ass about my work, I didn’t need him breathing down my neck too about my time keeping.
Elizabeth wouldn’t have minded. She would have told me to take the day off. I didn’t even want to meet this new guy, let alone ask for any favors.
I was just about to search the desk drawers for the emails when Frank walked in. He smiled when he saw me, then started laughing which suggested he was probably the first one in this morning and saw me in my disheveled mess.
“Frank. Hey.” I said trying to smile against the headache I now felt brewing.
My hangovers came in the form of delayed headaches which grew progressively worse the more awake I became.
“Paige.” He said tilting his head to the side, so that his skater boy locks drifted over his shoulders. His brown eyes sparkled as he looked at me. “You were totally fast asleep in here when I came in this morning.”
“I was drinking with Bernice and, oh God you know what we’re like?” I chuckled tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.
“You guys are terrible.” He raised an eyebrow.
Frank had started working here nearly three years ago now, so was well versed in our mail room antics. It wasn’t just us though.
Other things happened here. Bernice and I were mild in comparison to the other stuff. The mail room’s thick walls and private rooms allowed other secret, saucy, activities to take place. Perfect for those who wanted to take advantage of the no restriction on workplace relationships policy.
“I cleaned up and delivered the letter to Jason. Did you want coffee?”
I was about to answer, because coffee would give me the energy I needed to get home but my words dissolved in my brain as I registered what he’d said.
Did he say he delivered the letter to Jason?
Letter as in my letter, my noted response to his emails that I had no intention of sending to him!
“What letter?” I asked. I needed confirmation of this before I panicked. Frank could be talking about another letter right? One that wasn’t mine maybe.
“The one with the big old kiss on it.”
“Oh shit!” I cried and dropped my bag.
“What?” Worry washed over his face.
“He wasn’t supposed to get that.”
“It had his name on it. I just thought it was his.” Frank sighed. “I placed it in his in tray so maybe –”
I didn’t allow him to finish. My legs took over and I ran lightning speed through the door.
God in heaven of all the things that could happen, why that?
Please, please let there be a chance that he didn’t get the letter yet.
Please.
This guy already thought I lacked heart and warmth. What the hell would he think after reading my letter that told him he needed to get laid or have a sex marathon.
I remembered everything I wrote with absolute clarity. No amnesia there, oh no.
I took the stairs two at a time to get to his office which was on the third floor. The elevator would have been too agonizing to wait on, but probably a better choice since I was completely out of breath by the time I got to the top of the stairs.
Panic, however, boosted me forward.
Good, the floor was quite empty and Vanessa, his secretary wasn’t at her desk. I could get inside his office, hopefully unnoticed.
I rushed up to the door, looked over my shoulder to see if any one was watching
then proceeded inside.
The office has no resemblance to the one Elizabeth had. He’s changed it. Now it looks like the standard office you’d find in one of those high powered firms. Elizabeth had a more hippier style so had a sofa covered in fur and patterned cushions. This guy has leather. The sofa I shared many jokes with Elizabeth is gone, replaced by two leather chairs with padded backs.
A similar chair was behind a large mahogany table and the room smelled of leather, and wealth.
I looked around for the in-tray. Elizabeth’s was just on the wall by the file cabinets, but that’s been moved.
Damn it, I should have asked Frank for more info before running off the way I did.
Where the hell was the damn in tray.
That panic was starting to make me sweat, and I was fully aware that I’m in his office and he can come in at any time and catch me.
Maybe I should go back downstairs and talk to Frank.
I turned to do just that but then I saw the in tray. It’s in the little room Elizabeth kept her coats in. It looks like he’s turned it into a storage room because there’s two file cabinets and the in-tray is just above the one closest to the door.
I would have taken the time to admire the cool way that looked but that would have to wait for another day.
I went up to the door, turned the handle to go in and shrieked when I found it locked.
Shit. Why was it locked? Damn it.
I pulled in a deep breath and look around again. Outside the glass windows I can see that it’s still quite empty outside.
Maybe Vanessa has a spare key for the room. But where, and if she came by would she give it to me?
That woman was lovely, but took her job seriously. She was very professional and what you’d class as the perfect secretary. I doubted that she would just hand over the keys to me.
So what now?
I looked up at the little window at the top of the door. It was one of those that was put there for decoration as opposed to serving a purpose because it was too high up to be opened on a daily basis.
The question however on my mind after seeing it was – can I fit through it?
Seduction in a Suit: An Office Romance Collection Page 106
