The memories of the previous night came back in a rush: Jeremy's hands hot and hard on my skin, the small noises he made when he comes. Instantly I was awake and ready for round two. Why couldn't I seem to get past this?
When I sat up, my head throbbed and I tried to get to my feet. Before both feet hit the ground Jeremy was there, lifting me, carrying me into the bathroom.
He was such a good man. Why didn't I want him again? Oh yeah, wedded bliss at 20-something. The bathtub quickly filled with extremely hot water, just the temperature I liked, and lavender mint salt soak.
After settling me into the water, he backed away and sat on the toilet. "So you never told me how your date went."
I ducked under the water. I did not want to talk about this with him.
"Do you even remember last night? When I came over you were curled up with a bottle of wine. After that…"
I cut him off as I came up from the water. "I remember everything." The hot liquid sloshed down my body and I sat back again, eyeing him.
"Look. I'm sorry," I said.
He held up his hand.
I glared at him in annoyance. "I take it back...why the hell did you just cut me off?"
He groaned. "You're about to apologize for the best sex we ever had together, and I don't want to hear that you regret it, even if you do."
I just stared at him. Sometimes I think he's an ass until he says something sweet and sexy. I ducked down in the water, more content with the quiet. He played with the edge of a towel as I watched him from the corner of my eye. He looked like he had already showered and dressed in jeans and an Ohio State T-shirt. He was such a hokie, from middle of nowhere Ohio.
I took a breath, trying to clear the fog from my head. I needed coffee and I needed to talk to my girls. "Hey, I'm just going to finish up here, so why don't I come by later and we can talk."
"Oh, right." He put the edge of the towel back on the counter and stood. He stared at me awkwardly for a minute before he said his goodbye and left. With the sound of the outside door closing I stood, water sloshing everywhere. I quickly grabbed a towel and checked the time. They would be up.
My laptop sat haphazardly on the table and I cursed the alcohol all over again.
The familiar tinkling of Skype made my head ache until Lucy answered.
"Hey babe, so...give me all the details!"
I winced. "Stop yelling at me."
She laughed. "It was that bad, huh?"
"You should have seen this guy, Luc. He was beautiful, so gorgeous that as soon as he got to the bar I dragged him out of it."
"...and then?"
"Well, we made out a little bit until he touched me."
She leaned in, her face big on the screen, "...and then?"
"I thought about Jeremy, couldn't do anymore, and left."
"You're joking...tell me what really happened."
I pulled my knees up, bending them and positioning the laptop so I could still see her. "I wish I was kidding."
She started to shake her computer monitor. "What are you doing? Did you like him?"
"To be honest, I have no idea, I didn't even give the guy a fair shot, just jumped him as soon as we were alone. To make matters worse, when I got home I started on the wine and called Jeremy over."
"You made Jeremy your booty call after you were with another guy?"
"To be fair, it's his fault I didn't get laid."
She dropped her head down on her desk. "Girl, you need to stop playing him. Make a decision and stick with it. It's not right for you to keep getting his hopes up and then walking away again and again."
"I know. I know. Luc, we had sex, like mind-blowing, amazing sex."
"Oh really, and?" She was always so much smarter than she looked.
"And...I don't know. I'm feeling things, things for him I thought I buried a long time ago. He's not a bad guy, it's just the marriage thing we were never able to get past."
"I know hon. We'll figure it out. Do a joint call with me and Cami later, 'k? I have to run."
"Love you, talk to you later." I hit the end button and sat back, not even bothering to move my computer.
I still had feelings for Jeremy. I knew that for sure. He also had feelings for me, but we did this dance more than once and it always ended the exact same way. He'd ask for more than I wanted to give him.
I wouldn't go over there. I wouldn't see him until work on Monday. I looked at the clock, put my laptop on the table, grabbed a blanket, and passed out.
8
On Monday I woke up with a sense of foreboding, a creeping ominous tingling down my spine, I couldn't shake. I figured it was due to the fact that Jeremy would be at work, and I hadn't called or gone to his place after he left that night. On the way to work all I could do was hope it wouldn't be awkward.
I saw Jeremy in his office as I sat down behind my desk. He got up and I quickly tried to look like I was busy doing some sort of work when he entered.
"I got that report you wanted."
Huh?
"Oh, thanks, you can put it there."
He set it down and walked out. That was odd. Usually I would get a big, long speech about respect, and love, and whatever else he could smash into those respective categories to yell at me about.
I opened my email, completely confused by my exchange with Jeremy. I had an email from Steve. I took a deep breath and clicked it. I needed to get this over with.
It was short and to the point.
* * *
Tonya,
It seems I find myself with a unique piece of information: the daughter of one of the world's biggest international accounting firms finds men on bobsindex for quick lays. Give me one million dollars and don't try to lie, I know you have it, by Friday. If you don't, this hits the web with a special version sent to the media. Oh, and if you call the police and I get arrested, there is an auto-send feature plugged in through an out-of-country server that will send it while I'm in jail.
ENJOY.
Rich (aka Steve)
* * *
This had to be a joke.
I clicked the attachment. There in all my glory was the girl who threw herself at him, spoke horribly about her job and colleague, then got almost naked and left. The image ended with him turning off the camera a moment after I walked out.
Speechless, I blinked at the computer screen, then blinked again. Was this really happening? The words were there in front of me, but my mind refused to grasp them. Each word separated from the next, taunting me, calling me to them yet my brain still didn't want to put them together. I swallowed the shame that clogged my throat. How many people were going to see this if it got out? The reaction of my family, friends, and colleagues went through my head as tears threatened to fall.
I sat back in my chair, trying to remain calm, squeezing back the tears. I had to fix this. My job and my father's reputation were at stake. Celebrity clients don't just give their money to people with questionable morals and any sort of slip in confidentiality was detrimental to business.
I laughed out loud. This couldn't be happening.
I needed Jeremy.
I slowly got up from my chair and walked to his office. He glanced up briefly then went back to his work.
"Can I help you?"
"Look I know..."
He cut me off. "Is this about work?" I wrung my hands together.
"Well, no, but…"
"Then I don't want to hear it. From now on our relationship is strictly professional. If you want to say something to me you wouldn't say to Brett down at the corner office, don't." He looked up, meeting my eyes squarely.
I sighed, turned around, and walked out. Guess I was on my own. I closed my door after entering my own office again and sat down. I had to figure out my options and then go from there.
I could go with option "A" and pay him or go with option "B" and ignore it letting the video be released, or finally, option "C" and call the police. God, how was it possible that someone that gorgeo
us could be so nasty?
I opened Skype and called Camille.
"Hey babe, how was the date?"
"The date was bad, but now it's gotten worse."
"Huh?" She took her glasses off and laid them on her desk.
"Well, the date went horribly, thanks to me, and it turns out he was a douche tool all along."
"Okay, explain."
"Well, he videoed everything while we were together and now he is blackmailing me."
"You're joking."
"Nope, not joking. Here..." I clicked the video share and sent her the video.
Her eyes slowly grew shiny with unshed tears. Her hand was wrapped around her jaw, covering her mouth. She lifted it away and grasped her computer screen.
"Oh, my God I'm the one who encouraged you, I..."
"Cami, I don't blame you. We need to figure out how to fix this."
"Did you ask Jeremy? He's the lawyer."
"Dude, did you watch the video? You know the part where I called him pathetic? That might make him averse to helping me, not to mention what else I did to him this weekend."
"Oh god...what else happened?"
I took a deep breath. "Well, after the date I came home, dived head first into a wine bottle, and then booty-called Jeremy. In the morning I kicked him out and didn't speak to him for the rest of the weekend. Now he won't talk to me unless it's about work."
"Perfect time for him to leave you alone," she muttered.
"I know, right? What do I do?" I slid my hands up my face and rubbed hard at my eyes. I wanted to cry, but that wasn't going to help the situation.
"Well, I mean, you could let the video go. You weren't naked, it'll hurt Jeremy and your father, but it won't be unfixable. You could also just pay him. I know you have a lot more than what he is asking."
I sighed. Just as I was about to respond, my door opened and Jeremy entered. I would have usually slammed him for not knocking, but I motioned for Cami to be silent for a second.
"Look, I know you don't want to be with me. You made it clear on numerous occasions. I just didn't realize I was now relegated to booty call. You hurt me, Tonya."
"Jer..."
"No, I don't want to rehash it. That's all I wanted to say. I won't ignore you if you come to my office, but we aren't friends. We are nothing more than business acquaintances from now on. Apparently I need to move on, since obviously you have."
He didn't even give me a chance to explain, but simply walked out.
I looked back at Camille and dropped my head in my hands. For the first time I wanted him around, and he wasn't there, and it was my own fault.
"It will be okay Hon. I know that you'll figure something out. If you need anything from me or Lucy, you know we're both here for you."
"I know. I won't drag your reputations into this too. It's my own fault."
9
My office door opened and Tony stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind her. "We need to talk."
I sat the reports down on my desk and leveled a cold stare at her. "I already said what I needed to say."
My thoughts were clogged with things I wanted to say. It would be useless, because she never listened. She was supposed to come and talk to me, but never showed up. That's when I knew I was used. Used to get off, and then tossed out like garbage. I couldn't believe how she didn't even seem to react, care, or acknowledge the fact that I was hurt. Maybe she didn't even realize, maybe it seemed as if sex didn't matter to me, or sex with her didn't matter to me.
"Jeremy, will you please just listen to me?"
I stared at her. I would listen, but that didn't mean anything to either of us. She always did and said things she didn't mean, always came running back only to hurt me again. I was through with it. I needed to find someone who valued me for what I could give.
I gestured for her to sit, but she paced in front of my desk, her heels clicking against the marble just past the carpet.
"I need your help." She was still pacing. I really looked at her. Her hair was mussed, her clothes weren't perfect, and her hands were shaking. In a moment I was around the desk, gathering her into my arms.
"Are you hurt, are you okay?" So much for moving on...
She moved out of my arms. "Like I said, I need your help."
"Okay, what is it?"
"I'm being blackmailed."
I stared at her for a moment. Her eyes started to glisten and she turned away quickly. In all the years that I'd known her, she'd never looked this disheveled, or looked like she might even think about crying. Whatever was wrong, she wasn't lying and it was really affecting her. Silence descended in the room, and not even the rush of traffic outside broke the barrier. All I could do was help, especially since this seemed to be her moment of need.
"You're not kidding, are you?"
"No," she whispered. "I wish I was."
"Okay. So you need a lawyer's help. Not mine, personally."
She turned back around, eyes clear now. "Obviously, if someone has something to blackmail me with, it's of a personal nature. I know you, I trust you, and I would prefer to figure out a solution that won't hurt the company's reputation."
"So, then what's the deal?"
"You might want to sit down."
I sat down only because she asked. I hated when people said that; obviously the situation isn't good, but I'm not fragile enough that I might pass out. "Just tell me."
"The guy I went out with last weekend? I met him online. We went back to his place, messed around, and he videotaped it. He's blackmailing me with the video."
I stood once she was finished. "Let me get this straight. First, you met a guy in a foreign country -- online -- and decided to go out with him. Alone. Second, you messed around with this stranger back at his place. Third, after his hands had been on you, you came to me."
I was completely disgusted. Used and dirty didn't even scratch the surface of the emotion I was feeling as I looked at her. I didn't even know her anymore.
I turned away to regroup. The woman I loved went out with another man, a stranger she met online. Was she that desperate to get away from me? Did she have so little feeling for me?
"Jer...It wasn't…"
"Wasn't what...just like that?"
"It was, but..."
"Come on Tonya, what makes any of this okay? How can you justify it to yourself?"
"I just..."
"Didn't think? You made me feel like a fool and now I feel like a cheap fool. You never wanted me, you wanted him!"
"You're right," she shouted.
I stopped my tirade.
"I did want him, but the moment he touched me all I could think about was you. I was angry, and I came home, and took it out on you. Don't you get it? I'm still in love with you, but you're too stubborn to get past your 'we need to be married' rule to see that. This man was walking sex appeal and I turned him down to be with you."
"You didn't turn him down to be with me. You turned him down because you felt bad, then you came to me because you needed a good fuck, and I just happened to be close by. Do you think I'm an idiot?" I was shouting now, but I didn't care. Nothing I ever said got through to her. She never listened, and she always did what she wanted. No one else could ever sway her.
She stopped talking and just stood in the middle of my office looking miserable. Good, she should be. She brought all this on herself, the nerve of her to come to me for help. After all that, after everything we had been through together, I couldn't abandon her now. Regardless of how I wanted to feel about her, I loved her, and that wouldn't change overnight.
I wrestled with my anger. It took two deep breathes and the image of smashing some nameless man's face in to clear my mind enough to speak. "Tonya, I'll help you because it might damage the reputation of the company if it got out but that's the only reason. First, you need to call the police."
"He said it will automatically send if he gets arrested."
"We still have to call the police. Anything we do can
be held against us if we screw up. We have to call them, explain the situation, and figure out a solution together. Once this is taken care of I am asking your father to transfer you back to New York and out of my life."
"We aren't calling the police." She took a deep breath and dropped her face in her hands. For a second I was worried she would start sobbing, but after a moment she looked up at me. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I can't be the woman you need and I'm sorry that if this video gets leaked. It'll hurt you again."
"Have you spoken to anyone else about this?"
She shook her head vigorously. "Well, only you and Camille."
"How much did you tell her?"
"Everything, right after I came in here the first time."
I dropped my head back, my face toward the ceiling. "That'll put her in a bind. If someone needed to question her or anything she's now 'in' this situation. Just don't mention her name and make sure she doesn't speak about it."
I watched as she wrung her hands together. There was nothing else I wanted more than to reach out and comfort her. Even after her screw up I still wanted her. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Well, the police are still my suggestion. Other than that, maybe try to talk him out of it but, if he's smart enough to set this up then he probably won't back off."
I dropped my head into my hands and ran them back into my hair as I took a deep breath. What would this situation do to the company, the company that helped me become exactly the man I was today? If Mr. McGregor hadn't taken a chance at hiring me, I wouldn't be here in this high-rise office. I'd probably still be doing taxes in Podunk, Ohio. Everything I had, I owed to him and his family. I couldn't let it all be destroyed with one little video tape.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but have you thought about paying him off?"
"My money is essentially my family's money. They'd want to know what it was for and I can't think of a million dollars worth of an excuse."
I sighed, shaking my head at what I was about to say. The words poured out of my mouth before I could change my mind. "I'll give you the money."
Seduction in a Suit: An Office Romance Collection Page 134
