by Emma Tharp
Leaning in to get a better look, I can’t deny the man looks good. “Yes, he is a nice-looking man.”
“Fill me in. What was he like when you took him back to the room?”
Penny is my friend, but I refuse to tell her all the details of his appointment today. He was adorable. Vulnerable and scared. Beside the fact that it’s against HIPAA to tell her anything, I wouldn’t do that to him. He wouldn’t want anyone to know about his terrible fear of needles. It was endearing and gave me a certain affection for him. Not to mention that he’s here with all his fear for his sister. “It was a quick appointment. I gave him his injection and he left.”
“Wow, you had him in the room and that’s it. He didn’t tell you anything or show you any secret hidden tattoos?”
My cheeks flame. No, I didn’t see any hidden tattoos, but got a front row seat to view his ass. Looking down to avoid eye contact, I say, “Nope. Like I said. It was a standard visit.”
“Look at you. You like him.” She goads me.
“No way. He’s a patient. And a singer. You can never trust a singer.”
“Whatever. You don’t have to admit it. I can see it in your face.”
Doing my best to ignore the comment, I change the subject. “I’m exhausted.” Stretching my arms up over my head. “I’m going home, putting my pjs on, and reading a book tonight.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Surprised that she doesn’t pursue the conversation further, I make a quick exit out of the office and head home.
As soon as I get in the door of my house, I throw my purse on the counter and open my refrigerator. The Chinese takeout from a couple nights ago sounds good. I pop it in the microwave and while it heats up, I go to my bedroom, strip out of my scrubs, and change into a tank top and sleep shorts.
Instead of grabbing a romance novel to read, I take my laptop and food to the couch. Even though I know it’s a bad idea, I google Kingston Lawless.
The first picture I pull up is him singing to a sold-out crowd in an amphitheater, opening up for Last Horizon, a rock band I actually have heard of. His band must be a big deal. Another article talks about past arrests for DWIs and drunk and disorderly conduct. Opening a different page, there he is with his arm around a B-list actress. Scrolling through images of him, there are many with him having his arm around many different women. He’s got a reputation for being a player. Nice. This is what I needed to see. Men like him are no good for girls like me.
Piling a forkful of lo mein noodles in my mouth, I glance at pictures of him on stage, singing his heart out. That’s when he’s the sexiest. His face tilted back, microphone to his lips, and mouth wide open in the throes of belting out a note, every muscle in his neck strained to take his voice where he wants it to go. Penny is right, he looks like a rock god.
I couldn’t help comparing him to my ex-husband, Al. He was my high school sweetheart. The only guy I’ve ever been with. I don’t have anyone else to compare Kingston to. For as long as I can remember, my heart and soul belonged to Al; I thought it’d be that way forever. After getting married, Al never seemed to be able to hold down a job and had zero ambition to take care of things around the house. I wonder if Kingston likes to play video games all day long like Al used to.
One day I came home from a long day at work and Al was passed out on the couch with empty beer bottles in front of him. His laptop was open to his email account. I saw several emails from someone named Courtney. Turns out, while I was working hard all day, Al was online dating and ended up falling in love with Courtney. He told me he wanted to be with someone who didn’t nag him all the time. He moved to Tennessee to be with her. Even though my heart was broken, I knew it was for the best. Let his sorry ass be her problem.
Even though I know I should stop online stalking Kingston, I can’t help myself. Curiosity is getting the better of me. His online biography shows pictures of him and his sister as kids. They’re so cute. Him with his dark hair in a buzz cut with his arm around what looks like a younger sister, her with dark pigtails. Apparently, his mother passed away ten years ago of a drug overdose. My stomach sinks. How sad. He must’ve been devastated. Suddenly it feels too much like I’m prying into this man’s personal life. It is all online for anyone in the world to see, but it’s like an invasion of privacy. Closing the laptop, I set it aside, ashamed of myself. If he wants to tell me anything about himself, that’s fine, but I won’t go online and do it again.
Taking my book to bed, I crawl under the covers and read a smutty romance novel. Just what I need after lusting over photos of Kingston all evening.
At work the next morning, I turn the coffee pot on and Penny walks in to the break room, a huge devilish grin on her face. “What’s up with you?” I ask.
“I see Kingston is coming in at ten this morning.”
Fussing with organizing the coffee filters, I keep my attention away from Penny. I don’t want her to see the excitement on my face. I knew Kingston was coming in today; I just didn’t know when. I’ve only got two hours before I get to see him again. The flutters in my belly start up already. It wasn’t a good idea to fantasize about him all night last night. Now he’s all I can think about. I’ve got to stop acting like a teenager. “Oh, really? You’re pretty excited about that.”
“Heck yes. It’s not every day a rock star comes in the office. I can’t wait to check him out again today.” She leans against the edge of the counter next to me and fans herself with her hand.
Looks like I’m not the only one with a schoolgirl crush on Kingston Lawless. “Listen, let’s maintain a professional attitude while he’s here,” I say it aloud for her benefit just as much as mine.
“What? You’re saying no selfies with him today.?” She sticks her tongue out at me. “You’re no fun.”
I giggle at her. At the very least, seeing Kingston will give me something to look forward to.
“Hey, your hair looks great down. Any reason you curled it today?” Penny nudges my side and winks at me before she walks out of the break room without waiting for an answer, which is good because I’m sure I’m blushing. Sure, I wear my hair up almost every day and put almost zero effort into my appearance. I set my alarm fifteen minutes earlier today so that I could at the very least play up my assets for Kingston today. It’s amazing what a little blush, mascara, and a curling wand will do for you. I’m still asking myself why I’m going to this trouble for a player/rock star.
As ten o’clock comes and goes, I don’t even realize it since the office is so busy. When I look at my watch and see that it’s past eleven, I scoot to the front desk and peek at the master schedule.
“If you’re looking for Kingston, don’t worry. He had to reschedule. Something about a rehearsal he can’t miss. He’s down for three o’clock.”
My pulse goes down a notch hearing that he will be in. I don’t like how much it affected me when I realized his appointment time had come and gone and he never showed up. In my mind, I’m dismissing it as disappointment in not seeing someone who is fun to talk to. That’s it. Nothing more.
I have a quick lunch in the break room with Penny and start my afternoon patients. Checking my watch every five minutes, I can hardly wait until three o’clock. The time seems to drag, but when I see on my tablet that Kingston has checked in a few minutes before three, my belly does a few somersaults.
Rushing to the bathroom, I apply some lip gloss and run my fingers through my hair, giving it a little more life. Who knows what has gotten into me? I never run around checking myself out in the mirror.
Poking my head out the waiting room door, there he sits in the same spot as yesterday. He doesn’t seem as on edge as he was yesterday. When I called his name, he seemed like he was going to bound out of his chair and run for the door. Today his leg isn’t bouncing up and down like it was yesterday. It’s a good sign. His dark hair is unruly and perfect, and he’s wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. His biceps look incredible, toned with just the r
ight amount of muscle. His right arm has a landscape tattooed on it, trees, mountains, and a stream. Would it be too personal to ask him about it? Probably. I’ll avoid it. Stay professional, Camilla.
“Kingston Lawless. You can come back now.” His deep blue eyes find mine and he gets a devilish grin on his face that melts my insides.
4
Kingston
Damn, this girl is cute. Her cheeks flame to life when I smile at her. She seems so innocent, but there’s something more behind those hazel eyes. I can see it.
When I stand up and walk to her, my right ass cheek twinges. It’s been a little sore since I had the injection yesterday, but it isn’t too bad. I made myself stressed and worried about the damn needle but Cam had it in and out of me before I even knew it happened. I still don’t like the idea of getting another shot today, but on the drive over here I wasn’t freaking out like I was yesterday. Especially since I get to see Cam.
“Hey, sorry I had to reschedule this morning,” I say to Cam as she walks me back to the treatment room.
“Don’t worry about it. Follow me.” She gives me a sweet little smile, all full lips and dimples.
Fuck if I can’t stop staring at her round, perky ass as she walks in front of me. I’d love to worship it, not spank it. I wonder if she likes vanilla sex. It gives me a semi just thinking about how great her body would look naked and underneath me.
Once inside the room, I take my seat as she scans her tablet.
“How have you felt since your last injection? Any problems?” Cam asks.
“I’m a little sore, but it didn’t bother me much at rehearsal this morning.”
She gets closer to me and I can smell the faintest bit of her rose perfume. “You can pick a new spot today. Your arm, stomach, or quad will work.” She leans down and points to a spot on her leg. When she does, her scrubs top lowers down and I get a quick glimpse of the top of her cleavage. Her body is beautiful.
“I think my quad, but is it going to bother me later?”
Her head tilts to the side and her voice is full of curiosity. “No worse than yesterday. Why, do you have big plans?”
“Yeah. We’ve got a gig tonight. I’d like to be able to move around and dance.”
“Where is your gig?” she asks.
“At O’Connor’s Pub. He’s our buddy from high school and we want to help him out. Bring some business to his bar. We aren’t putting it on our tour schedule or website, just promoting it locally. You should come out.”
Cam is putting a pair of latex gloves on when she says, “I’m a little embarrassed to tell you this, but I’d never actually heard of your band until Penny told me who you were yesterday.”
Thinking back, when I met her she didn’t act like a fan or groupie. She was all business. I don’t see that very often. It’s surprising, most people have at least heard of us, but I can tell she’s not lying. She didn’t know who I was. “Then you should definitely come see us.”
“I just might. Now you can go ahead and take your jeans down. But leave your underwear on.” Her voice cracks a little at the end of the sentence.
Pulling my pants down, I take them off and set them next to me while Cam gets the syringe ready.
“You mentioned that you’re going to be a donor because your sister needs a bone marrow transplant. What’s going on with her?” she asks, her hazel eyes are warm and calming.
“Yes. She has severe aplastic anemia. They don’t know how she got it, but she’s been very sick. This should cure her. It’s the least I can do. My sister is the only family I’ve got.” As I finish talking, I realize Cam is throwing the needle in the sharps container. “Wait, you’re all done?”
“Sure am.” Her eyes move down my body and land on my boxer briefs. She doesn’t look long, and I’m sure she doesn’t think I notice her doing it, but I didn’t miss it. Clearing her throat, she says, “All set for today.”
My phone signals a text alert. I ignore it and pull my pants up. “I still can’t believe how you do that. You’re sneaky. I have no idea it’s coming, you distract me, and then it’s over.”
She gives me a sly smile. “All part of the job.”
“Will I see you tonight at O’Connor’s?”
“I might have to rearrange things in my hectic social calendar, but it could work.” Cam winks at me as she walks toward the door and leaves.
When I get in my car, my phone rings. It’s Helena. She never calls me; it’s usually a text. Something tells me I should pick it up. That something is wrong.
“Is everything alright?” I ask, a hint of impatience in my tone.
“I’m stranded at my office. My car won’t start. Could you please come and get me?”
“What happened? Why can’t you call your husband?”
She sniffs into the line. Is she crying? “He’s out of town. I’d appreciate it if you could come and see what the problem is. You’re so good with cars.”
Part of me wants to tell her to call AAA, but the soft spot I have for her doesn’t want to leave her stranded. “I’ll be right there.”
“Oh, thank you so much, Kingston.”
The drive from the Bone Marrow Center to her office is five minutes. I’ve got a sick feeling in my stomach as I pull into the parking lot. If she’s lying or trying to manipulate me, I’ll be mad. It won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last.
Getting out of my car, she comes bolting over to me. She’s got dried mascara under her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here. My car scared me; I tried starting it and it made an awful noise and wouldn’t turn over.”
Walking past her, I get into the driver’s seat. She’s right. It won’t turn over. And since this is a Jaguar, all computerized, it isn’t going to be a simple fix.
I close her door behind me and hand her the keys. “I can drive you home. You’ll have to get it towed.”
“Do you think it’s serious?” She follows me to my car and gets in the passenger side.
“The dealer will be able to tell you.”
Before we even leave the parking lot, her hand is on my groin. “You really saved me, Kingston. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t come and get me.”
Removing her hand, I say, “It’s not a problem. I was at the Bone Marrow Center.” What I was thinking was that she could have easily called a tow truck and taken an Uber home, but I don’t say it.
“Oh, how has that been going?” Her hand comes back to my thigh this time.
“It’s been fine. There’s a great nurse there. I don’t even know she’s going to stick me and then it’s over.”
“That’s great. I know how concerned you were about going through it.” Her hand runs up and down my leg.
“That’s right where the injection was today. Do you mind not doing that?” My tone comes out harsh.
“Kingston, I know you’re worried, but you’re doing everything you can for Dee. You don’t have to worry. You’re nothing like your mother. I’m so proud of you for staying away from alcohol.”
Helena knows everything there is to know about me and she still praises me. Like my mother never did. I don’t respond to her because the words aren’t coming.
For the rest of the drive, neither of us says a thing with the exception of when she tells me where to go or when to turn. Her expensive perfume fills the space. The scent used to soothe me, like a balm on a wound. Not today. It’s starting to suffocate me. I roll my window down for some fresh air.
We pull into her driveway and she says, “Please come in. He’s away on a business trip. I need you.” Her hands come up to play with the back of my hair.
“I can’t.” As much as I know she’s messing with my head, her words carry so much weight. I’m powerless against her when she speaks to me this way. Somewhere in the darkest recesses of my brain, I desire her still, even though I know I shouldn’t.
“I’m thinking about leaving him,” she says in a shaky voice.
Turning my head to look into her ey
es, I can’t believe I see sincerity there. I can’t get hopeful. Would she really do that for me, and the better question is, do I want her to?
“I’ve got to go. I’ve got a gig tonight.” I turn my head to look out the window, avoiding any further discussion because I don’t know what to say. Maybe if I cut it off now, she won’t think of anymore shit that will mess with my head.
It happens in an instant, but she goes from vulnerable and full of desire to all-business. Hot to cold. “That’s fine. I’ll see you at your appointment tomorrow. Don’t be late.”
And with that, she opens her door, gets out, and slams it behind her.
5
Cam
“This bar is packed!” I shout into Penny’s ear so she can hear me over the hundreds of other people crammed in here like sardines even though the band hasn’t even started yet.
“I know. Last time I was here it was dead,” Penny says.
It’s dimly lit and the stage area takes up a quarter of the place. There are tables, but they’re moved to the back, making room for the maximum number of patrons. If the band’s goal was to bring in business tonight, they’ve done it.
The noise and the chaos do nothing to calm my nerves. I’m second-guessing what I’m even doing here. Watching the band’s videos on YouTube flared something in me that has lain dormant in me for years now. He is so damn sexy on stage, laying his heart out there for everyone in the crowd to see. He’s powerful and vulnerable at the same time. It’s so stupid of me to lust after him. It doesn’t help matters that I snuck a peek of his package in his boxer briefs at his last appointment. It’s so unprofessional of me, but it’s been over two years since I’ve had sex. I’m out of control. “Let’s get a drink.”
Penny nods and I grab onto her arm as she leads me through the crowd to the bar. When we finally flag down the bartender, we each order a shot and two drinks. I allow myself the pleasure of a couple of drinks, not only to calm my nerves, but also because I don’t work tomorrow. I switched shifts with someone. Now I’m scheduled to be there for his last two injections and the days of his bone marrow harvest. It’s going to be challenging for him, and I want to be there.
