by I. T. Lucas
Then there was Amanda’s mate. The ex-enemy. That was a story she couldn’t wait to hear. The guy wasn’t as gorgeous as Kian or Yamanu, but he was definitely impressive. A warrior turned artist, but still a warrior through and through. She could sense the power pulsing just underneath the surface of his stoic exterior.
In Kian’s case, her interest had been purely esthetic, and in Dalhu’s, it was simple curiosity. But even though she hadn’t been attracted to them, Yamanu hadn’t liked her looking at either of the men.
She was in a committed relationship with Yamanu, but she was still a woman, and she had eyes. Perhaps she’d felt a smidgen of attraction toward those two impressive male specimens, and he had somehow sensed it.
Otherwise, there was no reason for his grumpiness.
Mey didn’t mind the possessiveness, but jealousy wasn’t something she could tolerate. Typically, she attracted a lot of male attention, and her partner needed to learn to accept it or their relationship would be under constant strain.
Amanda and Syssi were both beautiful, and their partners probably had to live with the fact that men looked at them. Heck, women probably sent covetous glances at those guys every time they went out in public, and Amanda and Syssi had to learn to tolerate it as well.
Trust was a crucial component in any relationship, and especially when one or both partners were getting a lot of attention.
Yamanu sat next to her on the couch and put his hand on her exposed knee. “It was a long day. You must be tired.”
Her wrap dress had parted, barely covering the top of her thighs, but since the guests were gone, Mey hadn’t bothered to adjust it.
As Yamanu waited for her response, his hand started a slow trek up her thigh, making his meaning clear.
“I’m still hyped up from the party. I don’t think I could go to sleep just yet.”
As Yamanu’s hand kept going up, the dress parted all the way, and he cupped her hot center.
“Is that for me?” There was a bite to his tone.
“Who do you think it’s for?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You’ve shown interest in several of the men.” His finger breached the gusset of her panties, finding her moist lower lips.
Arching up, Mey closed her eyes. “I wasn’t attracted to any of them. I was just looking.”
“I didn’t like it.” He slid a finger inside her.
There was something both arousing and off-putting in the way he did it. Leaning back nonchalantly, he was still holding the beer in one hand while fingering her with the other.
Not wanting to reward this, Mey stifled a moan. “Tough. You need to get used to that. I tend to attract attention.”
His finger retracted, then lazily pushed back in. “I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is you looking back.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it. But I’m not blind, and your clansmen are impressive.”
He continued his slow fingering, getting her wetter and needier by the moment. “How would you feel if my eyes followed another woman around?”
Crappy.
Had she done it?
Yeah, she had.
For the first several moments after meeting Kian, Mey couldn’t take her eyes off him, trying to figure out what made him stand out in a room full of handsome men. It wasn’t just about his looks, it was the inner power that radiated from him, and she’d wondered whether it originated from his strong personality or his godly heritage.
Still, she could understand how it had made Yamanu feel. If the roles were reversed, she would have been majorly pissed.
Not only that, things had probably seemed much worse from Yamanu’s perspective. He might have thought that she was craving the things he couldn’t give her.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. But rest assured that my interest wasn’t sexual or romantic. You are my man, and I only want you.”
If he allowed it, she would have proven it to him, giving him the best blow job of his life, but he didn’t let her touch him with her hand, let alone her mouth.
Everything below the belt was off-limits.
He withdrew his finger and came back with two. “Don’t do that again.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Leaning, he put the empty beer bottle on the floor and used his freed hand to pull on the tie holding her wrap dress together. “I bet every male in this room thought about doing this.”
“Not every male, and you are the only one who actually gets to do it.”
As he parted the dress, exposing her body, his glowing eyes went to her breasts. She was wearing a red padded bra that made it look like she actually had a bit of cleavage.
Her panties were red as well, matching the bra and her dress.
“Did you put it on for me?” He pulled the bra cups down, exposing her breasts and leaving the folded cups to lewdly push them up.
Mey hadn’t thought about seduction when she’d chosen the lingerie set to wear for today, only style. The red wrap dress was the most flattering outfit she had, but it tended to show a bit too much on occasion, and she’d wanted her underwear to match the dress.
“I put it on for me,” she admitted. “But I’m glad that you like it.”
Yamanu nodded. “I like your answer.” He dipped his head and flicked his tongue over one puckered nipple.
16
Yamanu
Jealousy was not Yamanu’s thing. Or rather it hadn’t been until Mey.
It was irrational and irritating, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when her eyes followed Kian with an awed expression that had made his blood boil.
Yamanu was considered a good-looking guy, and people found him charming as well. Even before the celibacy vow, other men had never been an issue for him. For as long as he could remember, women everywhere and of every age and ethnicity had been sending him covetous glances. Some men too.
Except, he hadn’t hung out with Kian or Dalhu before, and apparently they garnered just as much female attention, if not more.
He couldn’t care less about other females looking at them, but he cared about Mey. The unexpected surge of red-hot jealousy had brought about an intense need to possess her in every way.
Which he couldn’t do, and that had generated even more aggression. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to allow the beast to take over. Mey was still human, and he needed to be careful with her.
Still, as he switched to suckling her other nipple and pinched the one he’d just left, he didn’t do it as gently as he should have, and Mey hissed in pain.
“I’m sorry.” He cupped the abused peak, soothing it.
Eyeing him a little apprehensively, Mey put her hand on top of his head. “Perhaps we should go to bed.”
“Did I scare you?”
She shook her head. “You don’t scare me, Yamanu. Even when you get peeved, I know that you are too wholesome and good to become mean. I’m just thinking about how frustrating this must be for you. Frankly, it’s frustrating for me too. I want to touch you, to taste you, and to give you as much pleasure as you’re giving me. But instead, I have to fist my hands and clutch the couch, so I don’t reach for you the way I want to.”
With a sigh, Yamanu dipped his head and rested his forehead on her chest. “I need a little more time to figure things out.”
She stroked his hair. “I know, and I don’t want to pressure you. That’s why I suggested we call it a night and go to bed.”
Right, as if he was going to leave her unsatisfied and aching.
It was bad enough that he was going to bed with a hard-on, but that was unavoidable unless he took another dose of the potion, which he didn’t want to do.
He’d already taken five servings, but instead of affecting his libido, it was affecting everything else. His mind was foggy, and he felt lethargic, which shouldn’t be happening given his low level of physical activity. For the past week, he hadn’t even looked at weights, and the only run he’d done was when Mey had called him about the guy
following her.
Still, there was no reason for Mey to suffer alongside him, and Yamanu had enough self-control to handle his arousal without climaxing.
Or so he hoped.
He could probably control the ejaculation, but the question was whether he could control his fangs. He hadn’t bitten a female in centuries.
Lifting his head, he offered her a closed-mouth smile. “I’m all for going to bed but not to sleep. I’m not done with you yet. I want you to wake up tomorrow with a smile on your lush lips.”
Mey cupped his cheek. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to ache, and it seems that you are struggling tonight.” She put a gentle finger on his lips. “You are hiding your fangs, but I caught a glimpse. They are elongated, and I know what it means. The potion has worn off.”
Damn. There wasn’t much the woman missed.
“I’ve already taken five doses today. I don’t want to take another one. But I can control myself.”
Her brows dipping low, she shook her head. “I don’t know what’s in that concoction, but that can’t be healthy for you. Let’s just go to sleep.”
This was the smart thing to do, but not what he wanted.
Pushing up to his feet, he lifted her up into his arms and started for the bedroom.
Mey wrapped her arms around his neck, but instead of a smile he got another frown. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you to bed.”
“To sleep.”
He shook his head.
“Put me down.” The tone of command in her voice didn’t leave room for misinterpretation.
Reluctantly he did as she asked, letting her legs drop to the floor next to the bed.
Someone had put new white bedding on it and scattered a few red rose petals on top of the duvet. His bet was on Amanda. Regrettably, her efforts to make this a romantic night were going to be wasted.
Standing with her back to it, her wrap dress hanging from her shoulders and leaving her magnificent body exposed to his hungry eyes, Mey couldn’t see how inviting the bed looked.
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “We are going to sleep, and I don’t want to hear another word about it. Tomorrow, you are going to see the doctor, and you are going to ask him or her whether this thing that you’ve been overdosing on is safe in the quantities you’ve been consuming lately.”
Bossy lady.
On the one hand, Yamanu wasn’t happy about Mey’s decree, and her commanding attitude had only spurred on his own arousal, but on the other hand, he was touched by her concern for him. He knew she was still aroused and still wanted him, so it wasn’t about staving off unwanted advances.
Mey was worried, and she was putting his wellbeing above her needs.
He bowed his head. “Tonight, I’ll obey your command, my lady Mey. But only tonight.”
A mischievous smirk lifted one corner of her lips. “We will see about that.”
17
Yamanu
Last night had cemented Yamanu’s decision. He had to talk to Kian and lay it all out for the boss.
He hadn’t told Mey what the meeting was about, and the only thing he’d told Kian was that he needed to talk to him. Kian hadn’t asked about what, and Yamanu hadn’t volunteered the information.
Which meant that he could still back out.
Except, he couldn’t.
It was somewhat cowardly of him to put the decision on Kian’s shoulders. But even though it was about something extremely personal, Yamanu honestly felt that the consequences were too extreme for him to make it on his own.
As he reached the entrance to the office building, pushing the door open felt like a life and death decision. What if Kian told him that he needed to keep the celibacy going? That the clan could not manage without his protection?
Not that he needed Kian to tell him that.
The knowledge that he was the shield behind which the clan could hide in an emergency was what had made keeping his vow possible. He didn’t need anyone to tell him how crucial it was. What he needed was for Kian to lie to him and say that he had done enough and that the clan could manage without his protection.
Yamanu started turning around, intending to walk away, but then stopped. Mey’s image, standing in front of him with her dress parted, her hands on her hips, and her eyes glaring at him, was the impetus he needed to go in and march into Kian’s office.
Kian looked up at him and frowned. “What troubles you?”
Yamanu closed the door behind him and pulled out a chair. “Is it that obvious?”
“Usually, you bring smiles and sunshine. Today it’s a storm. Trouble with your lady?”
“Not with Mey. With myself. But it’s connected.”
Putting his pen down, Kian leaned forward and gave Yamanu his undivided attention. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
As Yamanu wondered whether Kian would have been willing to take a vow of celibacy to free him from it, he stifled a snort.
The answer was most certainly not.
None of his brethren would have been willing to sacrifice that part of their lives for the clan. So why had he?
At first, he had done it to atone for his sins, but then when he discovered what he had gained by abstaining, his conscience hadn’t allowed him to stop.
“I need your advice.”
Kian let out a breath. “That’s easy enough. Although if what you seek advice for are matters of romance, I’m afraid you will be disappointed with how little I know on the subject. I’m lucky to have a very understanding and undemanding mate. Anandur would probably be a better choice.”
“I don’t need that kind of advice.” Yamanu pushed his hair back. “But I need your word that nothing of what I’m about to tell you ever leaves this office.”
Kian chuckled. “Then make sure not to leave your lady alone in here. I’m afraid that I have no control over what the walls do with the information they absorb.”
That wrested a smile out of Yamanu. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
Kian nodded. “You have my word.”
Damn, this was difficult. Perhaps he should just get it over as quickly as possible before he changed his mind.
“I’m sure that you, like everyone else, have suspected that I’m celibate.” When Kian gave a quick nod, Yamanu continued. “You were right. I took a vow of celibacy more than six centuries ago, and I’ve never broken it.”
Kian’s brows lifted. “Not even with Mey?”
“Not even with her. But she is the reason I’m here.”
“Obviously. But I’m not a shaman or a cleric who can absolve you of your vow. This is a personal decision. Although I can’t imagine what prompted you to make such a vow in the first place and then keep it up for so long.”
“I’m not looking for absolution. Only for advice. But in order for you to be able to give it, I have to explain why I took the vow in the first place, and why I kept it up until now.”
“And how. I can’t imagine how you managed that.”
Taking a deep breath, Yamanu let it out slowly. “Do you remember how I was before I took the vow?” When Kian smiled and nodded, Yamanu continued. “I was a cocky bastard, and I didn’t limit myself to widows and the paid variety like the rest of the men. I thought that by providing pleasure to married ladies I was doing them and their clueless husbands a service. Teaching them how good it can be when done right.”
Kian cocked a brow. “Did you get caught? Annani specifically forbade that.”
“Indeed. But as I said, I was young and stupid and full of myself. I thought that I knew better.” He took in a shuddering breath. “But what I didn’t count on was getting anyone pregnant, or that with my distinct coloring it would be obvious that the child was not fathered by the lady’s husband.”
“What happened?”
“He murdered her and my newborn child.”
Kian’s face reddened, and his fangs punched out. “Did you kill him?”
Yamanu nodded. “The story he to
ld everyone was that the mother had died during childbirth and that the infant had been stillborn, but I suspected foul play. I snuck into his bedroom at night and peeked into his head. He didn’t wake up the next morning, and his death was attributed to natural causes.” Yamanu rubbed his jaw. “I smothered him with a pillow, the same way he’d killed his wife and my child.”
Kian’s eyes filled with compassion. “That’s a lot of guilt to carry around. Was that why you took the vow?”
Yamanu shook his head. “Back then, the Clan Mother herself acted as judge, and I went to her to confess my crime and ask for punishment. She sentenced me to six months of exile on one of the unpopulated islands, saying that the forced abstinence best matched my crime. She told me to use the time for reflection.”
“That was quite merciful of her. She didn’t tell anyone about it either. Back then, you were just a junior Guardian, so I didn’t have much contact with you, but I knew about your trip to that godforsaken island. I thought that you needed time for reflection and chose to isolate yourself. You were always the spiritual type.”
Yamanu nodded. “The Clan Mother is infinitely merciful. My torment was self-evident, and she decided that I was punishing myself enough as it was and gave me time to mourn.”
18
Kian
Kian still didn’t understand how that incident, as tragic and as devastating as it had been to Yamanu, had caused him to take on a vow of celibacy and keep it for over six hundred years. If memory served him right, it was closer to seven hundred.
“What happened next? Did you become so accustomed to not having sex that you decided it was a good way to continue?”
Yamanu chuckled. “Not really. I was dropped off on the island just with my sword, my hunting knives, and a bow with arrows. At first, I got busy building myself a shelter, and then I hunted and fished for sustenance. I suffered from loneliness and from the lack of female companionship, but in a way, I enjoyed my suffering because it helped with the guilt.”
