by Cameron Jace
He is right about that. “All right, follow me.”
I pull Tom with me toward the door, intending to keep using my skills to leave Oxford Asylum. The Pillar, however, keeps smoking in the garden.
“You’re not coming?” I grimace.
“After you kill ’em all.” He breathes out a curl of smoke in the air. “You’re the one who has a triple black belt in None Fu. Welcome to the future, Alice.”
Chapter 30
THE FUTURE: ST. ALDATES STREET, OUTSIDE OXFORD ASYLUM FOR THE CRIMINALLY SANE
As I continue using my unmatchable None Fu skills, Tom Truckle hides behind me. He also answers some of my questions. It’s a weird way to have a conversation, but I want to know all about him.
“It’s my fault we lost the Wonderland War,” he says, as I strangle a few Reds.
“We?” I punch another. “Since when were you on the Inklings side?”
“There is so much you don’t know about me.”
“Better talk now, or I’ll do to you what I am doing to them.” I smash Reds into each other. “How come you’re the Mock Turtle? You’re a Wonderlander?”
“A neglected one, actually.” He ducks behind me. “No one ever noticed me back then.”
“I guess that’s why Lewis wrote so briefly about you.”
“Even though I inspired the famous mock turtle soup.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I somersault and kick two Reds in midair. “Its taste sucks. Who eats turtle soup?”
“That’s why I decided I’d be the director of an insane asylum,” he says. “Among the Mushroomers who fear and respect me.”
“I doubt that. They thought you were the maddest one in the asylum.”
“I don’t care what they thought. I had a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Of course. I was supposed to connect with all asylums in the world and make sure they were filled with sane people.”
“What kind of plan was that? Who told you that?”
“Lewis told me to.”
Chapter 31
I turn back and glare at him, choking a Red with one hand. With all of my skills, I wonder how we lost the war. “Don’t lie to me, Turtle!”
“I’m not,” he says. “Look behind you.”
I do, pulling Tom up with me while I’m doing another parkour move in the asylum’s corridor.
“Lewis wanted to guarantee the Inklings win the war. He set alternative plans everywhere to help the cause,” he says. “One day, when I was crying myself to death in Wonderland, he offered me a chance to be a hero.”
“You?” I don’t know if I am supposed to believe him. Shouldn’t it be me who becomes the hero?
“It was a long shot. The plan was that I collect the sanest scientists, teachers, and useful men and women into an asylum.”
“Are you saying the Mushroomers were sane?”
“In the beginning, yes. Although spending too much time in the asylum messed with their minds.”
“That’s the most stupid plan I ever heard.”
“It’s not. Lewis knew the Queen would wreak havoc on the sane world, spreading the insane everywhere. Remember how mad the world already was when you were in the asylum? The wars, the poverty, and sickness? The Queen of Hearts has been planning this since long ago, even before she posed as the Queen of England.”
“Go on.” I punch another Red, advancing in the corridor. “Be brief.”
“I framed sane people into being insane, so I could get them into the asylum,” he says. “Of course, they weren’t supposed to know that. Who’d have believed me when I told them about Wonderland?”
“Are you saying I was framed into thinking I’m mad?”
Tom shrugs, pulls out a pill, and swallows it in the middle of my fighting. “I’ll explain all about you, but last.”
“Why? I want to know what you know about me now.”
“You have to hear the rest first.”
I am too busy to argue, having reached the vast Tom Quad. The garden is thronged with too many Reds waiting for me. I have incredible None Flu skills, but even Bruce Lee can’t fight an army.
“I kept framing sane people. I even created the Hole, where the March Hare was kept,” Tom continues. “Lewis had told me he was so valuable he needed to be kept away from the Queen and Black Chess.”
“Can’t you just summarize the story?” I am busy now, fighting aimlessly, with hopes of reaching the door at the Tom Tower. Once we reach it, we’ll be out of here. “I get it. Lewis ordered you to collect the sane people and keep them in the asylum, so when the Wonderland Wars came we’d have a secret army, disguised as mad people. I changed my mind now; the plan seems brilliant because it’d go undetected by Black Chess. But you said you were the reason why we lost the war. Why, Tom?”
“The pills,” he says. “Life in the asylum was driving me mad. My kids and wife hated me, and Lewis denied me the luxury to tell anyone about it.”
Chapter 32
“Not even me?” I say. “If you were on my side, you should have told me. Why did you resist the Pillar when he asked for me to kill Wonderland Monsters?”
“Like I said, I’ll be getting into that part later. What matters now is that when I took those pills, I didn’t know they had side effects.”
“Don’t tell me you forgot things.”
“I did.”
In the middle of my war, I try not to panic. It has been one of my worries that the Lullaby pills messed with my head. Now, Tom is proof I was right.
“Slowly I forgot who I am,” he explains. “Not like a clean slate, but visions came and went from me. One minute I remembered my purpose in life, another I didn’t. But in the later days when you and the Pillar were always leaving the asylum, I began to realize I had a purpose. That I had been told to do this, though I was not quite sure who told me. Then when Carolus Ludovicus came to London, I remembered that I was supposed to protect the Mushroomers. I remembered everything and was about to lock the asylum and protect them all until the Cheshire snuck in and suspected I was a Wonderlander. I guess he knew when he tried to possess my soul and couldn’t.”
“So why did you cause us to lose the war?” I’m nearer to the gate now.
“Because I sold myself to Black Chess at the last moment.”
“What? After all that Lewis told you?”
“It’s a complicated story. I was forced to do it. As a result, the Mushroomers were killed and the Inklings had no real army to face Black Chess. I’m really sorry.”
“Damn it, Turtle.” I pull him harder and kick the last two Reds away, then we rush outside the gate. “I need to hear more, but we need an escape vehicle first.”
“Which one?” There are a lot of damaged cars lined up outside.
“Like this one.” I smile, pointing at the Pillar’s fire truck.
I run toward it, Tom behind me, but I still have a question I can’t keep for later. “So if the pills made you forget, how about the pills you fed me in the asylum?”
Tom shrugs again. I wonder what he is keeping from me. I reach for the truck’s door handle, climb up, and pull Tom with me. As I am about to get into the driver’s seat, I find the Pillar waiting inside, tapping the wheel and staring at his watch. “Seven minutes and thirty-nine seconds.” He pouts, staring at his watch. “With a triple belt in None Fu, you should do better than that.”
“Don’t make me punch you in the face.” I climb down and pace around to the other door. I push Tom up, squeeze him between me and the Pillar, then lock the door behind me.
“You haven’t answered my question, Tom.” I grab him by his sleeve as the Pillar guns down the road. “What about my pills?”
“They were Lullaby pills.” Tom chokes, glancing at the Pillar. I wonder why.
“Like Carolus?” I ask.
Tom nods, but the Pillar ignores his gaze.
“Are you saying I have an evil Alice doppelgänger?”
“I don’t…” He hesitates. “It’s compl
icated.”
“Talk or I swear I will kill you, Tom.”
One last gaze at the Pillar then he spits it out: “The Lullaby pills were meant for you to…”
And there, when I am about to hear a crucial truth about my past, I suddenly bleed from the nose, feeling disoriented and dizzy. My hands loosen up and my head falls on one shoulder.
“Alice?” The Pillar sounds worried. “What’s going on?”
“I — ” My eyes meet his. I’m most perplexed and confused. Did one of the Reds stab me? “I think I’m going to faint.”
The Pillar orders Tom to take the wheel. He scoots over and examines me. “No, Alice, it’s not that.”
“What is it, then?”
“You’re dying, Alice,” the Pillar says.
“What do you mean I’m dying? You said I’m not hit.”
“It’s not the Reds who attempted to kill you.” The Pillar’s jaw tenses. “It’s those who sent you to the future.”
“Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock?” My eyes widen.
“I think they fooled us both,” the Pillar says. “They sent you here to die.”
Chapter 33
THE PRESENT: THE INKLINGS, OXFORD
“What a frabjous trick, Mrs. Tock,” Mr. Tick said, sipping his six o’clock tea — although it wasn’t six o’clock yet.
“I’m flattered you liked it, Mr. Tick,” said Mrs. Tock. “For a man who always ticks on time, a woman who tocks too late is most delighted.”
“She is suffering now, right?” He pointed at the spasming Alice on the bed in the back room of the Inklings.
“Beautifully.” Mrs. Tock snickered. “Soon she’ll spit blood.”
“It’s a remarkable achievement, I have to say,” Mr. Tick said. “Not since the invention of time have I been so impressed. Imagine her dying in both the future and the past at once.”
“Mind-boggling, right?” She whizzed a hand next to her head.
“I have to be honest with you,” Mr. Tick said. “Although I always arrive sharply on time, I never really understood time.”
“How so, Mr. Tick?”
“For example, what time is it right now?”
“It’s twelve thirty in the afternoon.”
“Is that the time now? Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“You just think so. That was the time when you checked your watch a few seconds ago,” Mr. Tick pointed out. “But between learning what the time is and telling it to me, you were already three or four seconds late. So you basically didn’t tell me the real time. Meaning no one can really arrive on time.”
“Aha.” Mrs. Tock had always been confused by the idea. No wonder she preferred to arrive later.
“Also, it’s around twelve thirty here in Oxford, but not so in Cambridge,” Mr. Tick said. “I very much believe time is an impostor.”
“I agree, Mr. Tick. Look at poor Alice here. She is dying in the now and in the later,” she said. “But wait a minute, aren’t we time?”
“No, Mrs. Tock.” He sipped his tea. “I’m Mr. Tick. You’re Mrs. Tock. We work for time. Remember?”
“I always forget. Forgive me. I prefer we skip this conversation,” Mrs. Tock said. “I think men like Einstein are an expert on time.”
“Really? Did you ever see his hair? Time drove him mad. He only fooled us into thinking he knew about it,” Mr. Tick said. “So tell me, what’s the plan from here on?” He pointed at Alice.
“She is dying because there is a limit for the time an individual stay in the future,” Mrs. Tock explained.
“Does she know that?”
“Of course not. We didn’t tell her. What’d be the fun in that?”
“And if she wants to come back, what does she have to do?”
“Two things. First, someone has to inject her with a Lullaby serum so she can make it back to our present time.”
“Which I suppose the Pillar has the resources to accomplish in the future, right?”
“Indeed. Or we wouldn’t have let him think that he managed to visit the future through the Tom Tower,” Mrs. Tock said. “The poor bastard doesn’t know that I secretly helped him do it.”
“And he has no idea Margaret intentionally made him listen to her conversation, either.” Mr. Tick sipped his tea. “Ingenious plan, Mrs. Tock.”
“Thank you, Mr. Tick.” Mrs. Tock blushed. Mr. Tick hadn’t flattered her since about two hundred years ago.
“But from what I know, it’s impossible to evade death after time-traveling,” Mr. Tick said. “I mean, even if she returns, she will die within a few hours in our time.”
“That’s true, Mr. Tick. That’s why there is only one way to save her life if she manages to make it to the past.”
“What is it, Mrs. Tock?” He put the tea aside. “I’m most punctually, accurately, and timingly curious.”
“Alice can only live if she finds her Wonder.”
Mr. Tick’s eyes shone brightly. The three hairies on his head bent like a banana peel. “You don’t say.”
“It’s true. The only way she can see another day is if she finds her Wonder.”
“Which we both know is almost impossible.”
“Yes, I know.” Mrs. Tock snickered, shrugging her broad shoulders. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s first watch her come back from the future.”
“If she ever manages to pull it off.” Mr. Tick scanned Alice’s spasming body, now slightly bleeding from her nose.
“Before we continue watching, Mr. Tick,” Mrs. Tock said, “what about her?” She pointed at Fabiola standing frozen like a statue beside them. Mr. Tick had stopped time in the Inklings a few minutes ago, so Fabiola wouldn’t bust them when she saw Alice dying. It actually added a lovely sense of quietness to the place. Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock loved it when humans were quiet.
“I will unfreeze her later, Mrs. Tock.” Mr. Tick began sipping his tea again. “After I drink my six o’clock tea. Oh, I feel like we have all the time in the world.”
Chapter 34
THE FUTURE: OXFORD STREETS
“Did you just say Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock?” Tom drives the truck now. “Are you saying you’re not the current Alice and the Pillar?”
“It depends on how you look at it,” the Pillar says. “But if you’re asking if we were sent from the past, then the answer is yes.”
“Oh, my.” Tom panics, turning the wheel. “This isn’t right.”
I can understand that as a Wonderlander Tom knows about the Tick and Tock couple. But why is he panicking? “What’s wrong, Turtle?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Not now. Let’s see if there is a way to save your life first.”
“I want to know what’s going on!” I demand, but then my head aches again.
“Calm down.” The Pillar wipes a trail of blood from my nose. “Or this is going to get worse.”
I stare at the blood, my heart weakening. I think I can’t hear it beat properly.
“There is only one way out of this,” the Pillar says. “A Lullaby pill.” He shifts his stare toward Tom.
“Why are you looking at me?”
“You’re the director of the Radcliffe Asylum,” I say, catching on. “You must know how to get a Lullaby pill.”
“Was the director, about fourteen years ago,” Tom says. “I’ve been trapped in the Oxford Asylum for the last five years for trying to lead the revolution.”
As he mentions it, I glimpse the graffiti on the walls. All hail the Mock Turtle. All hail the revolution.
“This really bothers me,” I mumble. “How is it that Tom Truckle leads the revolution in the future?” Now I am talking to the Pillar. “Why not me?”
“Calm down, Alice,” the Pillar says. “Or I can’t think of a way to get you the pill.”
“Why not me?” I insist. “Aren’t I the Real Alice?”
“I can explain…” Tom begins.
“Shut up!” the Pillar says. “First we have to save your life, then we look for
answers, Alice. Look in my eyes and tell me you understand what I just said.”
The Pillar is assertive, wanting to help me. I find myself nodding. Even the nodding hurts when I do it. What’s going to happen to me?
“That’s a start.” The Pillar sighs and stares back at Tom. “Do you happen to know how long she has before she dies?”
“Once the bleeding begins, it takes a time traveler the same time he needs to eat a thousand marshmallows to die completely,” Tom says.
“What does that even mean?” I retort.
“It’s what the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Wonderlastic Time Travels says,” Tom explains. “I myself can eat ten marshmallows in a minute. Given that, I suppose it takes about — ”
“Zip it, Turtle,” the Pillar interjects. “Here is what’s going to happen. See that motorcycle at the curb?”
“Yes?”
“Pull over there. I’ll take it and find the pill.”
“You’re not going to leave me here, Pillar?” I ask him, as Tom pulls over.
“I’ll be back,” he says.
“Schwarzenegger used to say that. Now he is dead,” Tom comments.
Neither of us even pay attention to him. The Pillar lowers his head and whispers in my ear, “Stay alive. You can do it.”
He descends the truck and starts the motorcycle, disappearing into the streets.
Gathering what’s left of my energy, I turn back to Tom. “I think now it’s time to tell me more.”
Chapter 35
“It was the flamingo that converted me into working for Black Chess,” Tom begins, still driving through the streets. He has to keep driving in case the Reds are still on our tail.
“The flamingo?”
“The one the Queen of Hearts sent to the asylum,” he says. I didn’t even know about it. “One day, I received an order from Her Majesty to cure a flamingo of hers.”
“Cure it? In an asylum?”
“The poor animal didn’t succumb to her orders, and wouldn’t let her use it as a mallet in a croquet game. She thought the flamingo had psychological issues and wanted it healed into submission.”
