She couldn’t catch the sob that welled up from the depths of her heart, and then the tears were flowing relentlessly. She’d thought she was all cried out after her revelation that morning to Annelle.
Then Dizzy’s arms were around her. She was shuddering against that warm and solid torso with just a little golden hair that now tickled her cheek. She sobbed her anguish out against his chest and let his strong arms hold her. She couldn’t have moved if she’d tried. She didn’t have the strength or the energy. When she was done, she felt him shift as he reached over to the low table in front of the sofa. Then he was handing her a tissue, but he didn’t unwrap his arms from around her.
She wiped her eyes and blew her nose and took a deep breath and raised her head, ready to apologize for her outburst and to return to bed for what was left of the night. She’d embarrassed herself quite enough. But Dizzy’s arms tightened and when she opened her mouth to protest, he kissed her.
It was firm, but not hard, insistent but not intrusive. She took the comfort that he offered and kissed him back. And for the first time in weeks Thea began to feel something other than overwhelming fatigue and fear. But she wasn’t ready for that yet. She wasn’t strong enough to deal with that yet. And she was nowhere even approaching clear-headed enough.
When she pulled away, Dizzy let her go, but he didn’t let her escape his arms completely. She couldn’t, she was backed into the corner of the sofa.
“Dizzy, I’m not ready, I don’t know...”
“Shhh.” He soothed her and smoothed her hair. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ve got time. Lots of time. But I want you and your boy to stay here. I want you to spend time at the clubhouse.”
Thea barked a laugh. “I don’t think wild horses could keep him away.”
Dizzy chuckled. “True. If you didn’t come to them, they’d all come to you. They love your boy.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have kept him from that. I see that now.” Seeing how happy Josh had been to see the other patches, seeing how overjoyed they were to see him, had cut Thea like a thousand knives. Seeing him chat, joke and laugh in the clubhouse had rubbed salt into the wounds.
“You couldn’t have known, sweetheart. But let us care for you now.”
“Okay.” She hadn’t been doing any better on her own, why not accept his instruction, his invitation. It sure as shit couldn’t make their lives worse.
“Go on, sweetheart. Go get some rest. I’ll be here when you both get up.” He pulled back a little more to allow her to rise.
But she stayed where she was because that reminded her about something. Shit. “Dizzy, I’m workin’ tomorrow, but it’s Saturday. There’s no school. Usually I’d ask Clarice to mind Josh.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll get that taken care of. There’s a couple of guys I know who’d love to spend some more time with Josh. It won’t be a problem.”
“What about their work?” Thea asked.
“Thea. I’m not meanin’ any offense here, but that’s for me to worry about. I’m their boss. If I say they can spare the time, they can spare the fuckin’ time.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” Thea felt suitably chastised. Dizzy raised his hand to cup her cheek, running his thumb over the ridge of her cheekbone.
“Go on. Get your rest.” He leant forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
He was still sitting on the sofa when she left the room. She turned back before she closed her door. He gave her a small smile before she shut him out. She climbed under the covers as the dawn light brightened the room still further. For the first time since that awful night, her mind was not whirling like a tornado. She fell back to sleep and did not dream.
~o0o~
What had started out as a promising day had rapidly turned to shit.
When Josh had woken and emerged from his room, earlier than Thea had expected, she’d been drinking coffee with Dizzy in the kitchen. Josh had blushed a little when he’d seen Dizzy, so she knew he’d remembered about his accident. But Dizzy hadn’t said anything about having heard the screams, so Josh had relaxed. He’d eaten something, which was a big step forward for Thea. He had stopped eating breakfast no matter how much she’d begged, shouted or cajoled. It was good to see him eat, even if it was only some toast and cereal.
Thea had determined that she would at least pick up the grocery tab while they were living here.
She’d left Josh with Dizzy and his assurances that her boy would not be left alone for five minutes all day, which seemed to make Josh particularly happy. She’d taken the bedding to the laundromat and washed and dried it, and then she’d gone to work.
Her actual shift had passed without incident. But then the shit had hit the fan. It seemed that Dwight was not content with talking her down. And maybe he thought he’d broken her. Thea couldn’t really blame him for thinking that. This was the first time she’d turned up for work in weeks looking even vaguely human. She’d taken time to blow dry her hair - her hairdryer had nearly died of shock - and she’d put a little eyeliner and mascara on.
Unfortunately, it seemed that Dwight had taken her renewed interest in her appearance the wrong way, because at the end of her shift he’d called her into his office, the corner of the employee lounge that held his desk, and had tried to kiss her. He hadn’t managed it. She was too tall, thank Christ. But he’d gotten a good grope of her tits and her crotch when he’d backed her against the wall.
She’d pushed him off as soon as she could get the leverage, and sent him cannoning into his desk. That had hurt his back and his pride, and he’d promptly fired her. He’d spat that if she told anyone that he’d assaulted her that he’d say she’d been skimming from the register for months.
Fuck. Just, fuck. It looked like she wouldn’t even be able to pick up groceries in return for Dizzy opening his home to them.
She returned to Dizzy’s house feeling more abused, dirtier, more abased, than she had when she’d gained her freedom from that scabby, peeling cell.
From the porch, before she’d even opened the door, she’d heard shouts and screams. At first she’d panicked, thinking that Josh was waking from a nightmare having had a nap. But when she got through the door she was confronted with the image of Shaggy, Scooby and Josh bouncing around on Dizzy’s sofas and shouting insults at each other as they played a computer game.
She’d gotten her heart rate under control, and then she’d seen what they were playing. Shit. There had been zombies crawling all over the screen. That game had definitely not been in Josh’s age bracket.
She’d voiced her concern, without adding her fears that it would provide more fodder for his night terrors, and Josh had returned that she shouldn’t be concerned because it was only zombies which everyone knew weren’t real. And she hadn’t been able to form an argument against that clear logic.
Seeing that Josh was settled, and happy, very happy, Thea had gone to scrub the feel of Dwight’s clammy hands from her skin. She’d spent a long time in the shower and had scrubbed her skin until it was red and a little sore.
By the time she came out, Dizzy was home, which surprised her because it was earlier than she’d been expecting him. Shaggy’d had the grace to look a little embarrassed. She didn’t know how or what sign she’d given, but she’d obviously given some signal that she was upset and Shaggy had called his boss. Of course he had. Good little outlaw.
Fuck. Now she was going to have to tell Dizzy she was jobless as well as homeless.
“You need to chat, sweetheart?”
“Yeah, somewhere....” She cast about the room, trying to think of somewhere in the house that was private, and that wasn’t a bedroom. She didn’t want Josh thinking that she and Dizzy were disappearing for... that.
“Come on.” He beckoned her to follow him.
He opened the French doors. There was another, narrower porch, more of a wide step down to the lawn that looked more like a meadow than a yard. The trees and wildflowers from the edge of the property were beginning to encroac
h and they’d obviously been quite close enough to begin with. It needed to be taken in hand. Oh well, she had time on her hands now. Maybe she’d do it.
Dizzy shut the glass doors behind them and sat on the step. He motioned for her to copy him, which she did. The temperatures hadn’t climbed particularly high all day, but after her shower she’d pulled on her most broken-in jeans and her biggest, sloppiest sweatshirt, feeling the need to bury her body under thick, shapeless material. She was warm enough in the golden light of the late afternoon.
“What’s up, sweetheart?”
Thea sighed and decided it would be less painful to just spit it out. “I got fired.”
Dizzy reacted like he had been physically struck. He jerked back. “What?!”
“I got fired.” Nope, it wasn’t any easier to say the second time around.
“You said that already. Why? What bullshit did that jumped-up cunt come up with?”
Ahh, this part was going to be harder than she’d thought. Lying was not an option; Dizzy would be able to tell. Thea didn’t have a problem with throwing Dwight under the bus. Fuck that, she’d gladly do that, but this would make Dizzy so mad...
“Thea?” There was a warning in his low voice. He was impatient and getting mad, anyway, at her. She might as well get him mad at the right person.
“Dwight, the store manager tried to....”
Dizzy scrubbed his hand over his horrified face. “Oh fuck, he didn’t, did he? Sweetheart....?”
He paused, looking conflicted for a moment, and then he pulled her against him and was cradling her in his arms. “Thea, tell me. What did he do, sweetheart?”
She relaxed against Dizzy, reveling in the solidness and warmth and tenderness. “He just got handsy.” She let out a mirthless laugh. “He ain’t tall enough to get much further. When I pushed him off me, he fell into his desk and hurt himself some. So he fired me and said if I told anyone he’d say I’d been stealin’.” Thea hitched her shoulders. “Whatever. He won’t give me a reference, and with a firin’ hangin’ over me and him bad mouthin’ me like he will, I won’t be able to get another job in town.”
Dizzy was still, very still, like a rattler about to strike. Fuck. Thea counted the beats of his heart. After five thumps, he shook himself. She raised her head so she could see his face. His eyes were glinting. Just that shine in those deep blue eyes scared her, but he drew her back against his chest and tucked her head against his shoulder with a warm palm on the back of her neck. Despite the fact that he looked ready to do murder, and he probably was, Thea felt safe and cared for.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
“I guess.” Thea mumbled into his neck. She was immersed in the scent of him, sweat, leather, the lingering spice of his cologne. She drew deep breaths, reacquainting herself with the aroma of his skin.
His arms tightened around her. He didn’t believe her.
Thea was glad that Dizzy couldn’t see her face. “It makes me feel dirty.”
“It wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.” His voice was tight with contained rage.
“I know. I can still feel his hands on me, though. And I’ve scrubbed myself raw.”
Dizzy’s arms tightened again. It was a little hard to breathe now, but Thea wasn’t inclined to ask Dizzy to loosen his embrace. She liked it.
“I’ll take care of him. I take it you ain’t precious ‘bout workin’ there?”
“Fuck no. I fuckin’ hate that place.”
“Good. I think we can solve that problem, too.”
Thea wriggled until she had just enough room to lift her head and look Dizzy in the face. “How? And before you suggest it, I ain’t workin’ a pole at the Dusky Kitten.”
The light in Dizzy’s eyes changed. “You could,” he murmured, in a pussy-tightening rasp. Then he took a breath and his voice returned to normal volume. “But, that wasn’t what I was goin’ to suggest.”
“What, then?” Thea asked.
“The garage is takin’ off like we’d hoped it would. It’s doin’ real well. We got it all goin’ on, but we’re outlaw mechanics, not administrators. Ferret’s shit hot with the web for findin’ out your personal shit on locked databases, but even he’s not so good at invoicin’ and wages. We need someone who can do all that for us. Someone who can take the calls, work the books. Someone who can take on the office side. You think you can do that?”
“I’ve never done anythin’ like that before,” Thea confessed. Then she thought about it, really thought about it. It would be a lot more involved than standing behind a store counter, but it would be a lot more interesting.
“I might need to do some classes to learn the computer shit.”
“Ferret can teach you all that. It’s not his forte, but he knows it all. He keeps forgettin’ to update the spreadsheets and stuff. You can work off a paper diary to book jobs ‘til you’re happy with the computer, so you can get started right away.”
It might be a mistake agreeing to work so closely with Dizzy while living in his house, but Thea knew she didn’t have any other option. She needed a job if she was ever going to get her and Josh back on their own two feet, or at least paying their way.
“Okay.”
“Good girl. You can’t do any worse than us, that’s for sure. Now, I want you to stay with Josh. Me and the boys are gonna pay a visit to your ex-boss.”
“Dizzy?”
“What?”
“Just....” She could actually see the anger rise and flood his face. Oh no, she was not going to ask for any mercy on Dwight’s behalf.
“Just don’t get yourself arrested. You remember where the tapes for the security camera are?”
Dizzy grinned, then laughed. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”
“Good. Go get him, cowboy.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
He was filled with rage, a wrathful need that burned with white heat. Dizzy thought he might combust, spontaneously explode, burst into flame like a Roman Candle in the middle of his living room.
The rage had taken him even as he’d been sitting on the step with Thea in his arms. Feeling her there, calm and willing to be held... fuck, that was something, to be able to hold his lady close again. He’d wait forever if he had to, for her to come back to him. He could wait until the end of time, as long as he could snatch a few moments like that and the night before now and then.
But the reasons for those moments, the Mexicans, that cunt at the store, all twisted together in his gut and made him want to tear the life out of things. He had to swallow that down, contain and maintain, he had to make it useful. That was the way he worked. He’d force a lid down on his feelings and then let the rage bleed out slowly. It was always more effective, and usually had more spectacular results.
Thea had gone into the kitchen. She was making coffee and food noises.
Scooby and Shaggy, the two physically largest men amongst his brothers, were teasing Josh about having just been eaten by a zombie.
Dizzy took a moment to think tactics.
Of all his brothers, any of the others were more level-headed, with Fitz topping the charts for his strengths with delicate operations and cruel inventiveness. But nothing beat Shaggy and Scooby for imposing presence and sheer amount of damage. He didn’t need their talent for damage, though; he was planning to take care of that. If anything, he needed them for damage limitation. It would suck to end up on the Row for Murder One now that he had his family under one roof.
His family, his lady and their boy. And some tiny little prick with an attitude had laid hands on his lady. Dizzy had no idea where the short-ass shit had got the sense of entitlement that made him think it was okay to take without permission, to hurt a woman in that way. No matter, Dizzy planned to teach him some respect.
Dizzy had two little demons, one on each shoulder. One was Experience, one was Instinct. They’d killed and feasted on the angel and devil of his conscience many, many years ago. Dizzy no longer thought of his actions in terms of what was right and what was wron
g according to the civilian world. What he did, the way he lived his life, was all varying shades of hell-worthy grey according to those rules.
The only thing that mattered in his world was honor, his honor, the honor of his club, the honor of his brothers. Without his honor, he was nothing. And what he did in the name of that honor was usually worth fire and brimstone by most people’s standards. Letting that stunted fuck get away without being taught a lesson would not be honorable.
Instinct’s forked tongue was lisping about all the things he could do to the prick to make him hurt. Experience, whose tones rang clear as a bell, told him to plan, to take care. Experience was what had Dizzy pulling his phone from his kutte pocket and calling Ferret.
Bones by the Wood Page 33
