As I walked closer and he turned, I almost asked what he was up to, when his hand shot out and he grabbed me around the back of my neck. Shocked, I didn't even react when he stepped closer. He might actually be about to kiss me and or something else entirely, but I was too frozen to react. He had me by the neck, his warm lips making contact. Images of another night returned. I remember those soft lips, apparently. The taste, so familiar. And the softness, yet firm, demanding.
I heard a woohoo coming from Wyatt and suddenly remembered where I was. Riley's body was flush with mine, firm and strong. My mind was in no way working. And apparently this kiss would not end. His tongue teased, stroking my lips, my tongue. Without conscious thought, I shuddered with the sheer pleasure of it.
Finally, he released me. His breath was on my cheek for a moment then he drew a rough inhale. We were still so close, and my hand was now clasping his shirt, I noticed. I forced my hand open and let go. Oh yeah, I was standing in here, at work—my mind in pieces and everyone was watching me. I felt my cheeks glowing red, and only part of it was the embarrassment that everyone had seen that.
Riley had just kissed me. He'd just grabbed me and kissed me as I was walking past. This was clearly a new development in our relationship. If there had been any doubts that he liked me, he'd just laid them to rest.
"Uh," I said. Riley was now moving back to the grill. And that was that, apparently. Just a kiss, now, as you were. Blinking a few times, I tried to pull my thoughts together. What was I doing here again?
Is that where we were now, sneaking random kiss-bombs? Feeling dazed, I moved to the lunch room and grabbed my sandwich. What did this mean?
Someone shoved my elbow. "Girl, way to go," Deseree said, looking amused. "Don't let him get you pregnant. There is nothing that kills the romance like a screaming baby."
I looked at her, feeling mortified. Baby? Where had this discussion come from? I'm not having a baby. I'm not having a baby, I wanted to say, but Deseree was already off, turning briefly to give me one of her dirty-girl looks. And yes, that kiss had just happened in public. Did Riley know that would mortify me? Of course he did—why else would he have done it?
And then my sandwich was eaten and I only had faint recollections of eating it. I skulked around the walls when going back to my register, ensuring I was as far out of reach as possible. I did not know how to deal with this shit. And then there were Ella and Mia's eyes on me. Thank God, Matilda didn't care.
"Fraternizing at work is not allowed," she said.
I burned even more red if that was possible. I didn't leave my register for the rest of the night, which passed surprisingly quickly.
* * *
Chapter 36:
* * *
Okay, I was done being a complete flake around Riley. This whole him liking me thing had really knocked me for a loop, but that was over now. Time to get back to equilibrium—chilled out. That's what I was going to be: chilled out. Oh, so Riley likes me, whatever. That's his thing. And maybe I could just coolly sidestep any future public kisses.
With a deep breath to steel my resolve, I opened the back door to the restaurant. The familiar noises met me and I pulled out my freshly laundered uniform and shoved my bag in my locker.
"Hey."
The unexpected voice caught me completely off guard and I startled. So much for my cool intentions. "What do you want, Riley?"
"I've been thinking."
"And nothing good ever comes after a statement like that."
"All prickles and edges again."
"Maybe I would be nicer if you didn't grab me out of the blue and start making out with my face. Is that something I'm going to have to suffer repeatedly?"
"Maybe," he said, looking utterly unapologetic. "You certainly weren't complaining."
"I didn't get a chance to," I said, sounding a little high-pitched.
"Anyway, it's Wyatt's birthday tomorrow."
"So?"
"So, I thought we'd do something."
"Is that what we do now, celebrate each other's birthdays? I didn't know we were all tight in that way."
"Are you trying to disown us now that you're off to college?"
"Yes."
Riley half smiled, watching me in that really disconcerting way he had a habit of doing. "Okay then, should we all plan something and point out your conspicuous absence? Way to work on that bitchiness problem you have."
"I don't have a bitchiness problem."
His eyes widened as if what I was saying was completely absurd. "If you say so," he said singingly.
And yes he would make a big deal of pointing out I'd refused to go and Wyatt would probably be hurt, which would make me feel like yay big. I frowned and sighed.
"So," Riley continued, "we're going to hang at the lake, do really corny stuff."
It had been years since I had been at the lake, somewhere we tended to go on school field trips and where I imagined people who didn't have to do crap jobs like this spent their time while waiting for college to start. I supposed I would have at least one of those memories. "Fine."
"Okay, you're going with me."
"Why am I going with you?"
"Because I know where you live."
"And can we revisit how stalkerish that is?"
"Not really, but I can do stalker if that's what you're into. Kind of kinky. I didn't take you for kinky, but you never know, do you?"
I shoved him, but he refused to budge. Refusing to put up with this, I walked away from him.
"Now that I think about it, it makes a lot of sense."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said, stopping short. I had no clue where he got that absurd idea.
"All bossy and domineering, always has to be in control."
"Utter bullshit. And what does that have to do with stalkers?"
He looked stumped for a moment. "Well, a stalker would mean you're out of control, and isn't that what girls like you secretly want?"
"You know, Riley, I'm not sure I've ever heard of such a total load of crap." I felt like poking him in the chest to accentuate my point, but I didn't. He stood there, unfazed by it all, his eyes traveling down to my lips. He was thinking of kissing me again, I could see it in his eyes. I was about to bolt when a shadow appeared, drawing my attention away.
"As much as we all adore listening to this verbal sparring with poorly concealed sexual innuendos," Julian said wryly, "we do have a business to run here."
"Sorry, Julian," I said, flushing. I threw Riley a filthy look before walking over to my register.
So much for remaining cool and aloof. The moment Riley spoke to me, my hackles all rose and then I was ready to run for the hills. Very suave of me. Well, at least I wasn't utterly tongue-tied anymore, which was an improvement, I supposed. He just got under my skin and it irked.
I could feel him behind me. Whether he was staring at me or not, I don't know, but I could feel him there. I wanted to yell at him; I wanted to claw his eyes out, quite frankly. And I didn't know why I was so angry, but I was.
Ella smiled at me and I felt like ripping her a new one too, just for observing and because I was in such an awful mood now. That was it, Riley put me in an awful mood—bitchiness issues—he didn't know what he was talking about. He was my bitchiness issue—he drew it out of me. No him, no issue.
Taking orders, I calmed down. I even skipped my dinner break because I didn't want to go out there. Instead, I went to the front of house and hung with Ella, while she talked about random stuff. I tried to keep up, but my mind just didn't seem to want to get off the topic of Riley, while at the same time, I refused to think about him. Needless to say, my head was a fucked-up mess.
"I am literally dying for a cigarette."
"Then go have one. Are you out?"
I wasn't out; having one meant walking past Riley and that had been a perilous activity of late. "No," I said weakly. Ella was staring at me like 'then why are you standing here?'
I swiped my fingers over my mout
h. I was being totally chicken about all this, avoiding my normal routine because I was uncomfortable dealing with him, while at the same time dying to rip into him again. It would be simple if I could just say I wanted nothing to do with him—that would be logical, but I wanted to rub him out like a cigarette butt, a look of sheer glee on my face when I did it.
"Why are you wasting your break standing here?"
The fear of nicotine withdrawal flittered through my mind. I was grumpy enough as it was. I'd be throwing stuff at customers if I didn't have a cigarette soon. Stop being such a pussy, I told myself harshly.
With a nod to Ella, I went back. I should probably eat my sandwich, but I didn't feel like eating. A cigarette was needed through, or I would be an even bigger basket case, but it would be inviting trouble.
Riley glanced sideways the moment I appeared in the back. His dark eyes pinned me, but he didn't say anything as I walked past. My hands were shaking as I got my cigarettes out of my locker.
It was dark outside, our little back yard lit by a wan floodlight. I sat down and crossed my legs. My hands shook as I lit my cigarette and heard the door open like I knew it would. Of course Riley appeared.
"How willing is she to share tonight?" he asked as if he was speaking to someone else, but no one else came out with him.
"When have I ever been?" I said, watching as he sat down against the wall opposite me, leaning his elbows on his knees.
My heart was beating—we were about to get into it again. Silence reigned for a moment. I still didn't quite know what this all was for. Then he smiled. "You've had your moments."
I stared at him. There was such a heavy feeling of anticipation in the air. I couldn't shake it. "No, I really haven't."
"Haven't you? I don't know. I recall you slept with me."
"So? You've slept with half the town."
He looked set to deny it, then shrugged as if he couldn't rightly argue with the statement. "The point is that there are moments when you share—intimately and completely."
When out of my mind, I wanted to say, but it would probably sound childish. I pursed my lips. "Is that what you're after? A cigarette or a fuck?" He had kind of mentioned fucking every time we'd talked since. That kind of made sense now.
He refused to answer and looked away for a moment, that half smile still on his lips. "You know that has never been the question at hand."
"Hasn't it? Please enlighten me because I'm slightly confused."
"No, you're acting confused, deflecting and diverting, but never quite facing it."
My heart was racing and my throat was dry. I, at the same time, did and didn't want to do this. I swallowed a lump in my throat, watching him intently. I couldn't look away. His eyes returned to me, holding me captive.
"So down to the nitty gritty, princess. Are you going to be my girl?"
Dread and pleasure washed through my entire system. Goose bumps rose along my arms. Was that the question we'd been bandying between us for so long now? The smoke stung my eyes and I noticed my cigarette perilously close to my pants, which were probably beyond flammable.
Riley rose up and my heart painfully skipped a beat, my mind trying to find some way of not answering the question, or making light of this and deflecting—yes, just as he'd said. Because I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to say yes, and I didn't want to say no. Why was this so hard?
Because there's a fucking lot riding on it, something in my mind yelled, because this boy gets under your skin and has the power to rip you apart. With him you'll be vulnerable and you've never really been that before. He sees into you; sees what you're thinking and feeling—you cannot hide.
He walked closer and I truly felt like bolting. Crouching down in front of me, he ran his hands up my knees and thighs. "It's a question you're going to have to answer," he said. I could see that challenge in his eyes. There was that part of him that was definitely accusing me of being a pussy. Was this a game? Was this some new way of getting to me? Would I say yes and he'd deride me, embarrass me because I folded and admitted I wanted him?
His hands on my legs were sending lurching sensation up to my stomach. Seriously, I was getting motion sickness from the butterflies in my stomach going nuts.
What are your intentions, Riley? I wanted to ask. Is this what he did to fuck with girls' heads or was he serious?
His hands stroked down and around my knees, urging them apart. Again, my mouth was so dry it hurt. Rising from his position, he was on his knees now, lodging himself between my thighs. His fingers stroking up the top of my thighs and my skin contracted around the touch of his fingers. I was completely tongue-tied.
"What's it going to be, princess?" he said, his voice rough and gravelly. I wanted him so bad. The feel of him between my thighs was probably the most delicious thing that had ever happened to me, but I still didn't know what his intentions were, if this was some sick joke.
There was no deflecting now, he truly had me pinned, stuck between gut-wrenching lust and fear. His breath was now on my lips. He was not giving me a break; this was full on—all or nothing. My lips ached to kiss him, to taste him. Maybe I had to acknowledge that I'd always wanted him. Fuck it. If this went south I really would have to quit my job—probably leave town. Riley would have me for breakfast and he would be relentless, but right now I didn't care. I wanted this to be real.
With a groan, I melted into a kiss. Heady sensations flooded my mind at the contact with his soft and yielding lips, wiping away every one of my concerns. He deepened the kiss straight away, surging into my mouth. I felt his whole body pressing to mine, every part of him firm and solid. He was hard; I could feel his cock pressing to me. Again, my stomach lurched, but with scorching heat this time.
He lifted me up, my thighs around him. I wanted him with every part of me.
"Come," he said and put me down. Taking my hand, he led me away. It was the second time I let him lead me away to some dark corner. I would probably have stripped off right here, but anyone could walk out that back door any second.
He walked ahead of me across the parking lot, taking keys out of his pocket and unlocking his car, which was parked in the dark, far corner along with other staff cars.
Pulling me to him, he kissed me again, his hands running up my sides, teasing my heated skin while pressing my backside to him. Deliciousness unfurled inside me.
"I think we need a moment of privacy," he said, his voice breathy in my ear. I wasn't going to argue. The back door of his car unlocked and he urged me inside. My mind tried to acknowledge that this was utterly cliché, having sex with some guy in the back of his car, but at the moment I didn't care. I needed him, and the back seat of his car was gigantic.
His body pressed down on me and my senses swam around in the tide of pure pleasure. Soft kisses teased me, his tongue warm and devious. He fit so perfectly between my thighs, but the pressure inside me was building insanely and I needed release. Awkwardly, I tried to push my pants down. He lifted off me to help, giving me access to his cock at the same time and I ran my hands down it, making his shudder and groan—a sound I loved hearing, it turns out. I teased him mercilessly as he tried to put a condom on.
Finally free of my pants, he placed his arm around my waist and lifted me up so I straddled him. This was nice. This meant I had control. Maybe he was right on some level. I liked control. Rising up, I sank down on him, almost losing my senses doing it. The feeling of him inside me was glorious. I rose and sank, building both the tension and pleasure.
"Stop staring at me," I said breathily. He was watching me and I found it distracting.
"I want to see you." Refusing to close his eyes, he watched me, taking my head in his hands and kissing me. He was just there, unreserved and exposed. For a moment I forgot what we were doing and got caught up in the kiss until he grabbed my hips and flexed deeper into me. A gasp brought the sensations crashing back into me. I couldn't help arching and his mouth sought out the bud of my overly sensitive breast. I convulsed ar
ound him with the overload of sensation, completely captured as his hands on my hips helped him push deeper and deeper into me.
I came hard, crying out with the intensity. He ground to me and groaned repeatedly through his release. I slumped forward into his arms and he held me, both of us struggling for breath. Waves of pleasure were still surging through me, and for a moment longer, I could forget the doubt and fear I still held inside me. Please don't let this be a game, some way of screwing with me.
Is that what I wanted, my mind asked. Did I want to be his girl? Did I want this again and again and again? Hell yes. Okay, the answer kind of surprised me on some level, because Riley was probably the most difficult person I'd ever had to deal with. He kissed me, softly and lazily. We weren't moving, untangling ourselves from this jumble. I didn't mind.
* * *
Chapter 37:
* * *
I stood with my arms crossed, waiting impatiently with my black leather backpack on, the straps digging into my shoulders. Shifting on my feet, I twisted around, bringing my thumb up to chew on the nail. Riley was picking me up to take me to this birthday party by the lake. Part of me still wanted to turn and run back into my house. We hadn't really spoken since saying an awkward goodbye last night.
And again, I couldn't quite believe I'd slept with him again, leaving us with that embarrassing awkwardness after.
I could hear the damn car rumbling before I could see it. It snuck around the corner like a huge predator too large and lazy to actually catch anything. The sun was shining and it was hot. I'd pulled on a T-shirt and some shorts, now wondering if I had the right dress code, but how formal can you be next to a lake?
"Get in," Riley said and I opened the door which had this push button next to the chrome handle to open the door. The seats were hot and burned the back of my bare legs. The window had a hand crank to get it up, which was down as there was no air handling in this car. In fact, it had nothing electric at all, except the radio, which had been upgraded and included a USB port for Riley's iPhone.
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