Do you know why you fail? You fail because you doubt.
Doubting always leads to an underestimation of the person or the process that is being questioned. You can relate to this for sure. Haven’t there been situations where you doubt yourself? Of course, there have been. You doubt your capability to achieve your dreams. You doubt your potential to be like the person you admire. You doubt your decisions and let them be influenced by others. And, in the end, all you do is regret.
Why do you doubt yourself so much? The answer is fear.
Doubt is the most basic form of fear that does the work of blocking the positive and radiant part of the Source within you. Doubt stops you from being who you were always meant to be, which is, a descendant of the Source.
The Source is your ancestor. It is not going to force you to do something you don’t want to. It always wants the best for you and helps you reach your desired destination in your own unique way. But, it will always find uncountable ways to tell you that you are the essence of the most powerful light that exists everywhere. You just need to see those hidden signs that it gives you.
Maybe, when you wake up tomorrow and let go of all those doubts that hold you back, you will become fearless and see the dawn of a new you. Dawn, that will change everything to make your life perfect. Just the way Dawn was hoping to do it for the new girl, Vanya.
25th June 2010
Right now, Dawn was sitting right outside the entrance gate of sector-0 with Justin. They were waiting there for Kathy and Vanya, who had gone to get some clothes for Vanya. Although the new descendants didn’t live here, some of them used to spend most of their time inside the campus like Kathy. She always kept spare clothes with her, just in case she needed them.
‘Do you think that post-enrollment, we will be permitted to date one of the professors?’ Justin ruined the peaceful silence between them. He was laying on the grass, right next to the raw path that led to sector-0. He kept plucking blades of grass, one at a time and was loving it. He had kept his slippers aside and was almost falling asleep on the soft grass.
The Divines at the Phrontistery were physically not a day older than twenty-five. Every descendant who went to Bridging was taught the truth, which used to set them free from any sort of limitation. These Divines had been novices once and had studied from the same Phrontistery. The novices who chose to stop their bodies from aging after twenty-five were the only ones permitted to apply at the Phrontistery for the position of a divine. But there were some Divines who let their bodies age after joining the Phrontistery as a staff member. Justin’s thoughts about the dating of them were coming from this observation.
Dawn was preferring to remain quiet and not to dignify Justin’s pathetic question with an answer. But, he was so bored right now, that he went ahead with it.
‘Justin, I don’t think they call them professors here.’ He was sitting on the giant roots of an old tree with his back against its trunk. ‘They call them the Divines.’ He kept tapping his boots on those big roots, that looked like limbs of an octopus.
His eyes remained fixed at the three feet tall wooden gate, that marked the entrance of sector-0. Why was it even there? Dawn could just kick it and the gate would crumble. The gate was supported by fences on its either sides, which were made of nothing more than bamboo sticks, stripped in half. These bamboo sticks were shorter than the gate, but they marked the boundary, restricting the entry of any person within the area who wasn’t allowed inside.
‘Divines, huh?’ Justin smirked at Dawn. ‘I’m sure, they look ‘divine’.’ he yawned and stretched his arms, still laying at the same spot. ‘Young, with perfectly shaped bodies? Do you think they might show some interest in a newly enrolled novice?’
Dawn was getting curious now. He wasn’t interested in Justin’s silly talks. He wanted to find out what was happening. He had already heard the news about other new descendants being invited to be enrolled officially. All the newly arrived teams had gone to cottage-2, where the academic head Glory Peridot lived and had gotten enrolled. He wanted to talk to someone, who, instead of discussing the possibility of having an affair with a Divine, would talk about Team 55 and its situation.
‘I hope they do give a damn about you, Justin.’ Dawn mumbled absentmindedly.
Still sitting on those big roots, he tried to get a look at William’s cottage which wasn’t far away from the small gate. The area inside the fence marked by the bamboo sticks looked beautiful. Each cottage had its own small garden area that surrounded the cottage from all four sides. There was a concrete path that started at the gate, leading inwards the sector. Dawn was sure he had seen some delicious looking berries in the Prime Descendant’s garden, accompanied by some beautiful flowers.
It wasn’t difficult for him to get a look at the garden of William’s cottage as it was the first cottage on the right side of the concrete path. If you walk for about fifty meters, then there was cottage-2 of sector-0. Then about fifty meters from there, it was cottage-3, sector-0. The pattern continued, but Dawn had nothing to do with the rest of the cottages right now. All he wanted was for Ace to step out of William’s cottage and tell him what was wrong with team 55.
Why wasn’t Ace coming out, he thought to himself. Was Ace even in there? Earlier this morning when he had returned from the workout session, he took a shower. After that, Dawn received a note from a novice who was sent to him by William. The note said that he needed to be at the hospital wing as soon as possible as his last teammate had arrived. He wanted to tell Ace but he was told that Ace had a meeting with William.
He had heard from one of the guards, who had accompanied Ace, Kathy, and Brent, that he had left them at the entrance of sector-0, hoping they would go to the hospital because one of them was drunk and injured. But, instead of going to the hospital, they had gone to William’s cottage. If they had gone straight to the hospital, the three of them could have met Vanya then and there. Now that Ace was in there having a meeting, Dawn wanted to go in there too.
‘How do I look?’
Dawn looked the other way and saw Vanya and Kathy standing a little away from him. Vanya had changed her clothes and was now wearing a pair of slippers that seem to be too big for her feet. Kathy had given her a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts.
Vanya looked like a little kid standing next to Kathy in her clothes. The sweatshirt was almost covering her shorts.
‘Perfect!’ Dawn gave her a thumbs up. He knew she’d been through a lot already and didn’t want to lower her inhibitions. He wasn’t able to grasp the reason, but he knew he liked her anyway.
‘Dope!’ Justin kept staring at Vanya’s legs as he lay on the ground, plucking grass blades.
Kathy kicked him as she passed by and sat on the enormous roots next to Dawn.
‘You’re dope too.’ added Justin, rubbing his right thigh, where Kathy had kicked.
Dawn shifted a little, still looking at Vanya and gestured her to sit on his other side. She went ahead happily and sat there. This felt good. Dawn felt his breath getting warmer.
‘How do you feel now?’ he asked Vanya.
She bit her lip, nodding slowly. ‘I feel hungry.’
Of course, she was hungry! Dawn cursed himself mentally. She hadn’t eaten anything since she had woken up here. Now that he thought about it, even Dawn hadn’t eaten his breakfast.
‘I should have asked you that.’ He looked at her apologetically. ‘I am sorry.’
‘Why don’t we go to the guest house after all of this is sorted out?’ suggested Kathy. ‘I mean, I believe she has a room there too, right? Only, she didn’t show up there. We could go to the club, celebrate-’
‘Celebrate what?’ Vanya interrupted her. ‘Look, I don’t know what the process is, but you guys did see what happened, right? All of the teams have gotten enrolled except for Team fifty-five.’
Kathy exhaled looking upset. ‘Look, I have a feeling that William will do something that will get us enrolled.’ she looked at Dawn. ‘Don’t yo
u think so?’
Dawn didn’t know what to say. He merely nodded at her. It was almost noon and he hadn’t heard anything from Ace or William. All the teams, one by one, had entered sector-0, went straight to cottage-2, where the process was going on and came out looking happy. Only Team 55 wasn’t one of them.
Kathy wasn’t satisfied with Dawn’s lukewarm response. She looked a little nervous about what was happening. Justin seemed to have noticed this. He threw a tiny piece of rock at her. Dawn knew he was just trying to lighten her mood by changing the topic.
‘What?’ she turned her attention to him.
‘Do you think we can go out with one of the professors?’ he winked at her. ‘I mean the Divines!’ he corrected himself.
Kathy laughed softly at him. Dawn had known the two of them since they had arrived. They loved making each other smile. She got up and sat next to him on the grass and the two got busy laughing with each other. As they lowered their voices, Dawn could swear he heard them planning about becoming wing-man and wing-woman for one another when they get enrolled, so they could help each other impress the Divines.
He suppressed a laugh and turned to Vanya. She was smiling at the two of them as Justin rested his head on Kathy’s lap and they continued talking.
‘Hey?’ Dawn tried to get her attention. He had just realized how close they were sitting.
Vanya turned her head to look at him. ‘What?’
‘Even I haven’t had my breakfast this morning,’ he confessed, smiling at her. ‘Would you like to have lunch with me?’
Vanya bit her lip thoughtfully looking away. Dawn looked away nervously, wondering if he just asked her out for a date. Or, was it just two teammates thinking about having lunch together? Oh god! He had freaked out another girl, he thought.
Vanya opened her mouth to say something, but then -
‘Dawn!’
Dawn’s head turned to look at William’s cottage instantly, which was around fifty meters away from sector-0’s tiny gate. It was Ace, running towards them. Victoria and Brent were right behind him.
He looked at Vanya, hoping she would say yes before Ace could reach them.
‘Well?’ he asked Vanya eagerly. ‘Would you like to join me?’
It seemed like Vanya wanted to say something but she was scared. She was staring at Ace as he ran towards them.
‘We can hang out at one of the clubs if you would like?’ Dawn wanted to give her an option that she might like. ‘Say something, at least? Even a simple ‘no’ would work, I’m used to it.’
But she couldn’t say anything at all. It was as if Vanya had turned into a statue. She sat there, completely still, staring at Ace as he got closer. His eyes were fixed at Vanya as he sped towards them.
‘Get away from her!’ Ace yelled at Dawn. ‘She’s cursed.’
As soon as he reached them, Ace grabbed Dawn’s arm and dragged him away. Dawn could feel the strength with which his best mate had pulled him. He managed to stand straight and looked at Ace.
Ace eyed Dawn, signaling him something. They had a code language for Team 55 which only the team members knew about, except for Vanya who had arrived today. Dawn knew what to do next, so did Kathy and Justin. He saw William, the Prime Descendant, who had locked the door of his cottage and was approaching them.
William had the ability to read the minds of other descendants, which was a very difficult art as a descendant’s mind is well protected and secured by the Source itself. The Prime Descendant was great at reading humans, but reading a descendant wasn’t a piece of cake. He had practiced it for many years to be able to do so. The only way he was able to read them, was by being near a descendant and looking into their eyes for a few moments.
Dawn realized it immediately that this was the reason William was hurrying towards them as Ace had run ahead of him, to activate the team’s code. He was attempting to hide Team 55’s secrets from William, who could read them off their minds if the members left their minds unguarded.
Whenever this code was activated, all the members present at that time would have to hide their thoughts from William.
‘What did you just say?’ Frowned Dawn. His mind was racing with confusion now. ‘Ace, do you even hear yourself? You sound crazy.’
He had no idea if Ace was telling him the truth or just some random made-up lie to keep William busy and away from reading their secrets.
Victoria and Brent arrived there with William. Brent had a bandage on his head and smelled of lavender. That was definitely a Lavender Blast, one of the most powerful hard drinks found in Bridging.
‘You guys are drunk.’ Dawn tried to push Ace a little away from the tree where Vanya was sitting. ‘We’ll talk when you are sober.’
‘He’s drunk!’ Ace pointed at Brent. ‘Not me.’
‘Not that anybody cares,’ Brent stood straight, trying to tell everyone that he was fine now. Dawn knew he was still under the blast’s control. ‘But the effects have subsided now. My head feels alright too. Thanks to William, who put on the bandage and the-’
William raised his hand, motioning Brent to stop talking. He stepped forward and rested his hand on Ace’s shoulder.
‘Relax, Ace. Let us deal with the situation in a civil manner.’ William was trying to look calm, but Dawn could tell that he wasn’t. ‘Vanya, what date do you believe it is today?’ he turned to look at Vanya.
‘It is… my birthday, right?’ Vanya’s lips were quivering. ‘It’s… It’s the ninth of May.’
Ace sank to the ground hiding his face behind his palms. He was now kneeling down and his head was hung with stress. Dawn thought this was crazy. The date today was the twenty-fifth of June and not the ninth of May.
‘Vanya,’ Dawn spoke as softly as he could. ‘It is not the ninth of May. It’s the twenty-fifth of June.’
Kathy and Justin were still sitting on the ground, listening to what they were saying. Justin made a move and tried to get up.
‘Don’t you dare get close to her.’ Ace warned him. ‘We don’t know where she has been since her birthday. She could be cursed by something evil for all we know.’
Dawn saw Vanya’s eyes getting watery and it was breaking his heart. He wanted to hug her and tell her that she was fine, but he also knew that Ace was right, just like every other time. Ace wasn’t sure if Vanya was cursed or not. Even if she was, it wasn’t bothering Dawn enough to stop him from sitting next to her.
‘I slept last night! It was midnight, the ninth of May. My mom wished me a happy birthday before she went to bed.’ Vanya spoke in her defense. ‘And, I woke up in the morning. I was here, at the hilltop. It is still the ninth of May.’
‘No,’ Ace objected. His voice was a bit dominating this time. ‘You might have fallen asleep on your birthday, but you woke up today, almost after a month and a half. Do you know how I know this? Because I arrived on the second of March this year and it is going to be four months soon.’
Kathy gasped. She opened her mouth to say something, but Justin nudged her not to.
‘Do it Dawn!’ said Ace, ‘Count the months, buddy. You strike down every day from that bloody calendar in your room just to make yourself realize that we are getting closer to the enrollment, don’t you?’
Dawn didn’t need to do it. He knew Ace was right. He was always right. Dawn had written down a calendar and kept it in his room at the guest house. He missed being able to study so much, that he used to strike down each day, feeling happy about getting closer to becoming a novice at the Phrontistery.
William stepped forward and cleared his throat. ‘Ace, she is in your team. If she is in trouble, then it is Team fifty-five’s responsibility to stand by her. I have told you that I am not sure if she is cursed or not. Nobody knows that.’
Ace remained silent for a moment. He stood up looking around at the trees, trying not to look at anyone at all.
Dawn walked ahead, without caring what anybody was going to think and sat next to Vanya. She seemed to be shocked by his behavior
.
‘Get up!’ Ace commanded with authority. ‘Don’t make me do it, Dawn. I don’t want to fight with you.’
‘And, I don’t want to fight with you.’ Dawn put his arm around Vanya’s shoulder. ‘I spent the entire morning with her, sitting next to her, talking to her and everything is still fine. Even if what you are saying is true, I don’t think this is how we are going to deal with the situation by keeping her away from the rest of the team.’
The look on Ace’s face expressed that he was coming back to his senses. He remained there, looking away from everyone, but the trees around them.
Justin took the opportunity and crawled towards the tree. Dawn eyed him not to do so. This wasn’t the time, but this jerk was bound by his nature. He had almost made it to Vanya when Ace turned and saw him.
‘Just checking.’ he pretended to sniff Vanya’s sweatshirt. She shifted a little, still teary-eyed. Then he cleared his throat casually and sat next to her trying hard not to make it look awkward. ‘She seems alright to me.’
Ace looked slightly ashamed now. Dawn knew that he was feeling bad.
‘Look!’ Ace stepped closer towards Dawn, trying to maintain a distance from Vanya. ‘I am not saying that we have to keep her away. But think about it! If she has some sort of curse on her then the entire team is at risk and we can’t let that happen. This is the reason we are not enrolled yet just like the other teams.’
‘What makes you think that she has a curse on her?’ Kathy joined Justin, sitting next to him. ‘I mean, we didn’t feel anything at all. Earlier this morning, we had some pretty intense moments which upset her, yet she was fine.’
‘She was missing, Kathy.’ Brent stood next to Ace, as he spoke. ‘The point is, where was she?’
‘Alright!’ Victoria walked and stood in between them. She hadn’t spoken a word so far. ‘Enough is enough.’ She looked at all of them. ‘If there’s a problem then deal with it as descendants should, you fools.’
This was weird because Victoria was the biggest fool of Team 55 and all of them knew this. Everyone was quiet now. Dawn felt a sense of protectiveness towards Vanya. He wasn’t ready to take his arm off from around her shoulders. He simply sat there, not knowing what to do.
The Formation of Team 55 Page 6
