by Kiki Swinson
“What is it?”
“Drive down A Avenue, then go up Lexington Avenue, and then circle around and drive down B Avenue. I’m looking for this young lady who just got kicked out of that duplex we drove by earlier.”
“What do you mean she was kicked out?”
“One of the guys from the duplex kicked this girl out of the house. And she was not happy at all. She cursed that guy out really bad.”
“And what did he do?”
“Nothing. He told her not to come over there no more and closed the front door.”
“And where were you when all this was going on?”
“Hiding behind a tree,” I told him.
“Is this the young lady I’m pulling up to now?”
I looked through the front windshield of the cab and saw the same woman Mr. Sam saw. I zoomed in on her attire and realized that it was the same girl. “Yeah, that’s her. Pull up next to her,” I insisted.
“You better hold your head outside the window and announce yourself so she doesn’t pull a gun out on us,” he warned me.
So out of respect, I rolled down the window, leaned my head out a bit, and yelled out, “Hey, excuse me.”
The woman turned around at the sound of my voice and asked if I was talking to her. She looked really scared. I had to assure her that I was no threat to her. “Look, I’m not here to cause you any harm. I just saw Kanan kicked you out of the house so I wanna know if I could talk to you for a minute?” I asked her.
“Whatcha want to talk to me about?” she asked as she stood there with a jacket in her hands.
I got out of the cab and walked over to her because I didn’t feel comfortable with Mr. Sam hearing my conversation. The moment I approached her she looked at me from head to toe and wanted to know who I was. “My name is Chantel,” I lied to her. “And yours?”
“Eva,” she replied. I looked at her from head to toe. She was definitely a bargain-basement chick. She had to be dealing with some low self-esteem issues too because what woman would allow a man to fuck her brains out and then kick her out of the house at five o’clock in the morning? She was either desperate for a piece of dick, or she was mentally retarded.
“Hi, Eva, well the reason why I stopped you is because when I was pulling up to the house I noticed Kanan had let you out.”
“And what does that have to do with you? Whatcha, his bitch?” she asked sarcastically.
Now my first reaction was to curse her the fuck out, but I figured why be ignorant like her? And besides, I knew I wouldn’t get any information from her if I let her have it. “Eva, listen, I’m not Kanan’s bitch! I’m his baby mama. Now when I saw you leave the house, I approached him and asked him who you were and he lied and said that you were there for the other two guys, and that they ran the train on you. Now, I’m not stupid because you don’t look like you’d let two cats fuck you at the same time. But if I’m wrong you can correct me right now.”
“Hell, nah! I ain’t into that shit!” she spat. “I wouldn’t let two niggas run a train on me. Kanan’s ass is lying! I was there with him the whole night until we got into an argument and that’s when I left,” she explained.
“I knew that bastard was lying. I’m so tired of his no-good ass! It’s over. He can’t ever bring his black ass back to my house,” I said, trying to create a scene for her. I needed her to believe that I was Kanan’s baby mama and that I was on her side.
“He sure is.”
“How long have y’all been messing around?” I questioned her.
“I’ve been fucking with him for about two months now,” she replied confidently. She wanted me to know that she’d been in that nigga’s life for a while, so I could feel even more betrayed. Little did she know, I never fucked this guy and I couldn’t care less about his pathetic ass. And as soon as I got my hands on him, I was going to put a fucking slug in his heart!
“Oh really?” I said, trying to sound surprised.
“Did you know he had a baby?”
“Nope.”
“So he didn’t tell you that he had a baby mama and that I was on my way there to get a box of Pampers for our baby?”
“No, he sure didn’t. As a matter of fact, when I first saw the box of Pampers in the bedroom I asked him who the Pampers belong to and he told me that I could have them because I have a three-month-old baby.”
“When was the last time you were over there before this time?”
“I was over there two nights ago.”
“Were those Pampers there?”
“Nope. Last night was my first time I seen them.”
“What size were the Pampers?”
“They were for a size one.”
“How can a three-month-old baby fit in a size one Pamper?” I inquired. Her answers weren’t adding up.
“My baby was a two-and-a-half-pound preemie when she was born. She’s almost nine pounds now.”
“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be, because she getting big now. And the doctor said that as long as she’s growing at this steady pace, she’s going to be fine.”
“That’s good to hear,” I said. I changed the subject. “Do you live around here?”
“Yeah, I live on the next block.”
“So, you’re fine to walk the rest of the way home?”
“Yeah, I’m good. But I’m more concerned about you.”
“Why you say that?” I asked. I was definitely alarmed.
“Because your baby daddy ain’t shit! Trust me, I ain’t the only bitch that’s been in there fucking him. So tell him to stop lying on them other niggas and be a man about his shit! He has different bitches over there all the time. I caught one of his bitches leaving his spot last week before he left to go to New York. He tried to act like they was there dropping off his re-up package. But I knew that was some bullshit.”
“Do you know who else went to New York with him?”
“Yeah, all them niggas in that house went to New York with Kanan. They had to help bring the dope back in a different car.”
“Oh, wow! You know about everything, huh?”
“I only know what I hear when I’m in there. Those young niggas in there are dumb as a brick. They tell all their fucking business. If I was a snitch, I could rat their ass out and they wouldn’t even know it.”
I was amazed at how much information this chick knew. My first thought was to get her number so I could pick her brain a little more. But I decided against it. I figured if she was this loose with her mouth about their business, then she’d definitely throw my ass underneath the bus if I gave her the opportunity. Besides, I needed to keep my identity a secret. I couldn’t afford to blow my cover.
I thanked her for her time and wished her luck. “Keep your head up!” I told her.
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m a trouper ’round here. Niggas know I’m a loyal bitch, that’s why they fuck with me like they do,” she said proudly.
“Well then, hold it down, sis!” I said as I looked up into the sky. I could see the sun was about to rise, which meant I needed to be heading back to the hotel.
“Yeah, you do the same,” she said, and then she turned around and walked off.
I got back inside the cab. “Take me back to my hotel,” I instructed Mr. Sam.
“Got all the information you needed?”
“Yep. I sure did,” I said.
“She sure did a lot of cursing.”
“Yeah, she did,” I agreed.
“I hope you don’t talk like that.”
“Trust me, I don’t,” I assured him, and then I laid my head back against the headrest.
While I rested my head, I couldn’t help but think about how Matt took my family, killed my husband, took my money and bought drugs with it. Knowing him, he bought at least two kilos of dope. Being able to buy that amount of drugs makes a man like him feel powerful. But once again, he did this at the expense of my husband. Now I take some blame too, but Matt pulled the trigger. And
to now know that Kanan and the rest of those niggas that work for Matt accompanied him to New York. They didn’t know they had just signed their own death certificate. Everything Matt had coming to him, they would be greeted with the same fate. They’d better hope the police kicked up in that crib before I got my hands on them. Because I wasn’t playing, especially with all the anger and hurt I had built up inside of me. I would have their heads. To get someone in their families would sweeten the deal. I just wanted those niggas to feel the pain I was feeling right then. This shit hurt me to the core. And being away from my son all that time was tearing me down even more. I swear I didn’t know how I’d been able to live from day to day. It had to be God.
11
BACK TO THE BASICS
I thought I’d be tired when I walked back into my hotel room but I wasn’t. Just the thought of my baby still being alive made me feel like I was completely wired up on drugs or something. The feeling was becoming overwhelming. All I needed to figure out was how I was going to find out where my baby was. I knew Kanan was expecting another shipment of drugs tonight, but that didn’t mean that Matt was going to drop it off himself. Matt was many things, but he wasn’t dumb. When he went to prison before this last time, it wasn’t because the cops caught him with a huge supply of drugs in his car. He vowed never to carry drugs in his possession again. So I knew that sitting out there on the block, waiting for him to bring Kanan more drugs, would be a waste of time. However, I did believe that whoever brought those drugs would pick up Matt’s money in the process and deliver it right back to him after the drugs were dropped off. Now all I needed to do was be out there when it happened.
* * *
To pass the time, I turned on the TV and watched a few back-to-back episodes of Law & Order. The first one was about a man who killed his wife and made it look like his mistress did it. I thought that was very interesting. The second episode was about a pedophile’s obsession for little kids, and while children were coming up missing the police thought the pedophile was the one combing the streets for these kids, but later found out that his mother was the one feeding them to him. I swear, I could not have written that story if someone told me to. It was pretty sick. Which of course led me to thinking about my son. My heart started aching at that very moment, thinking about the possibility that Matt could be hurting him. People who mistreat children are monsters. Sickos, to say the least. I just prayed that my little one was safe and sound.
An hour passed by and I got an unexpected knock on the door. It startled the crap out of me. Who the hell could be at the door? No one here knew that I was staying at this hotel except my little friends Quincy and Trevor. And they didn’t even know which room I was in. With my heart pounding uncontrollably, I slid off the bed and tiptoed to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw no one. I stood there for a second, just in case the person decided to knock on the door again. This time I would see them.
After sixty seconds passed, I backed away from the door slowly. I was very careful because I didn’t want to be heard. I couldn’t blow my cover. I was too close to finding my baby. Once I had him, I couldn’t care less what happened after that.
Instead of climbing back onto the bed, I walked over to the window and peeked out the side of the curtains. I made sure the curtains didn’t move; I couldn’t afford to bring any attention to this room. For all I knew, anyone could be outside watching me.
Once I scanned the parking lot area three times, I backed away from the window and took a seat on the chair next to the small table right by the bed. Trying to figure out who was at that door was worrying me. I couldn’t stop thinking of the many possibilities of who it could have been. I wanted to call the front desk, but I decided against it for fear that the cops were there waiting for my call. So I sat there.
Thirty minutes turned into one hour and then one hour turned into two. I was going crazy. My mind couldn’t take it. I had to get out of there. But where was I to go? And how was I going to get there? I had a lot of shit to think about. But whatever my decision was, I needed one now.
I stood up from the chair and as I was about to go into the bathroom, someone started knocking on the door again. My heart completely jumped out of my chest and I instantly froze.
“Ms. Chantel, it’s the security guy,” the voice yelled through the door.
As much as I wanted to scream, after hearing the security guy’s voice, I let out a sigh of relief. Knowing it was him and no one else was like music to my ears. I rushed to the door and opened it up. Standing there with a smile from ear to ear, the security guy held out a book that very much resembled a high school yearbook. I looked down at it and then I looked back at him and said, “Please don’t tell me you brought me a picture of that young lady after I told you not to bother.”
“I know. I know. But I just had to bring it here and show you,” he insisted.
“Did you just knock on my door about two hours ago?” I asked him.
“Yeah, that was me. I thought you’d be up. That’s why I came earlier,” he explained. “So, can I show you this picture now?”
I exhaled. “Yeah, go ahead,” I said reluctantly.
Without hesitation, the security guy opened the yearbook and went straight to the page where my picture was. It was my senior picture. I had on the whole cap-and-gown ensemble, holding my diploma in hand. I looked at that picture really hard and saw a young woman who could’ve had a bright future if she hadn’t run into Matt a few months later. All of my dreams and ambitions and my 4.0 GPA went right out the window. Now look at me, I thought, hiding out in a hotel with less than $1,100 to my name and a prayer that I would get my baby back. My life was in ruins and this picture proved it.
I couldn’t believe I was starting to get filled up with emotions as I stared at my picture. I had to catch myself because I realized that the security guy was watching me. I held back the tears, but I couldn’t hide my glassy eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked me.
I quickly wiped both of my eyes with the backs of my hands. “Oh yeah, fine. I have allergies really bad,” I lied. It was the quickest excuse I could come up with that seemed plausible. But I could tell he wasn’t buying it.
“Tell the truth, you two look like twins, right?” he insisted.
I smiled. “Yeah, we you do,” I agreed, because I knew he wasn’t going to let it go.
“I told you,” he burst with excitement.
“Well, now that you proved your point, let me go so I can get dressed. Got a long day ahead of me,” I replied.
“Well, if you need anything, let me know.”
“That’s really nice of you. Thank you,” I told him, and I closed the door.
While I headed to the bathroom, my cell phone started ringing. I rushed over to it and looked down at the caller ID. The call was coming from Quincy. I answered it to see what he wanted. “Hi, Quincy,” I greeted him.
“Hey, Chantel, how are you?”
“I’m okay. What’s going on?”
“I’m calling you because Trevor wants to speak with you.”
“About?” I asked, even though I kind of knew what it was in reference to.
“He wants to apologize to you for being a dickhead last night.”
“He doesn’t have to do that,” I responded nonchalantly. At this point, I couldn’t care less to hear his voice or his apology. I was in another space and wanted to be left alone.
“Chantel,” I heard Trevor’s voice ring in my ear with a little bit of crackling sounds. It was obvious that Quincy forced him on the phone.
“Yes, what can I do for you?” I forced myself to say.
“This is Trevor and I want you to know how sorry I am for acting like an asshole last night. I was being very inconsiderate,” he said.
“It’s okay. I’m good. No hard feelings.”
“Well, Quincy and I wanna still help you get your baby back if you don’t mind.”
“No, you guys don’t have to do that. I’m gonna handle everything myself.�
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“She doesn’t want our help,” I heard Trevor say to Quincy as he moved his mouth away from the phone. I heard a shuffling sound and then Quincy started speaking into the phone.
“Hey, Chantel, we’re not taking no for an answer. Trevor and I have decided that you shouldn’t be doing this alone. So we’re gonna come by there in another hour or so. Now be ready.”
Before I could utter one word, Quincy disconnected our call. I shook my head because this kid had no freaking idea what we were up against. I just found out that all of those niggas had something to do with my husband’s murder. Those guys were actual fucking killers. I knew I was treading on dangerous ground bringing these two young guys into his atmosphere. But I had to think with my head not my heart. I had to be focused on my son. I couldn’t put anyone else before him. Not Quincy nor Trevor.
12
EMPTY APOLOGIES
Quincy and Trevor showed up an hour and a half later. They were both all smiles. Quincy helped me get in the backseat and closed the door once I was inside. Trevor turned around in his seat. He gave me the most apologetic expression he could muster up. “Listen, Chantel, I am really sorry about last night. I was being an insensitive jerk. So I wanna make it up to you.”
“Look, Trevor, I told you I was good,” I tried to reassure him.
“No, you’re not. So stop saying that,” Quincy interjected.
“Look, you guys, I know everything you’re saying is coming from a good place but you don’t owe me anything.”
“We know that,” Quincy said, “so, just sit back and relax and let us handle everything from here.”
“You hungry?” Trevor asked.
“Yes, I can stand to put something on my stomach,” I told him.
“Good, because we know this really nice spot in downtown Norfolk. They have the best Caribbean food ever,” Quincy chimed in.
“Oh yeah, that place has some great food. You’re gonna love it,” Trevor agreed, and then he turned around in his seat and drove out of the hotel parking lot.
