“Can we talk?” Words that were supposed to be a death knell for relationships. Since she and Brit had both conquered death, a new beginning would be nice instead.
Brit stepped aside and swept her arm toward the room.
Kirby stepped inside. “Nice place. Living the high life, huh?” The lightness in her voice sounded as forced as it was.
“Min insisted. He’s also given me access to all of his hotels, for as long as I want. He doesn’t really do understated.”
Not by default. “Never without an argument.” Would that change now that he’d lived someone else’s life? Unlikely, since he’d done so before. This wasn’t the time to ponder Min. “Can I have the grand tour?” Kirby asked.
Brit raised an eyebrow. “This is the main room. Bedroom’s back there. I have two TV’s, can you imagine?” Her voice was flat.
“Two beds? Second one for eating takeout on?”
One corner of Brit’s mouth tugged up. “And more space in that one bedroom than my entire apartment on campus.”
The perfect segue. Kirby shoved aside hesitation. “Life sucked in that place. For both of us.”
She expected Brit’s infamous I feel nothing mask to slide into place. Instead, she clenched her jaw.
“I knew that. And yet when I got back, even seeing it through your eyes, I still found myself wondering why you left.” It was a painful confession for Kirby to make, because it spoke more to her own fucked-up psychology than Brit’s. “With Mark gone, they would have worshiped you.”
“You’re serious?”
“I’m honest. We haven’t been kind to you. You’ve been talked down to, demeaned, and imprisoned. And Starkad is...” Justified but unkind.
“An asshole, yeah,” Brit said bluntly. “But he’s direct about it. Min’s provided for me, despite not owing me anything. Gwydion treated me when I was injured. You let them.”
Let. “It’s not like they needed my permission.”
Brit bit off a sharp laugh. “But if you’d told them not to, they would have complied. Regardless, how many Nobles do you think were actually my friends? How many of them wouldn’t eliminate me the first chance they got?”
“Every single one of them would have.” Ice Queen may have regretted it for a few seconds, but she still would have done it. “But they hadn’t tried yet. I would have trusted them if I were you. I did, and I was.” Until they tied a soldier to a tree, to kill him. Until they kicked down Loki’s door. The last of Kirby’s illusions about TOM were shattered in those short hours. It never should have taken her that long to catch on.
“That’s how they knew you weren’t me. You trusted them.” Brit turned away and moved farther into the room. She paused next to the counter that divided kitchenette from living room, and flipped through a hotel notepad. “It’s one of the reasons I loved you. I’ve never wondered where I stand when it comes to you. Whether it’s love or disdain, you don’t hide your feelings.”
How was Kirby supposed to respond? Maybe the words were rhetorical.
Brit faced her again. “I’m sorry. For betraying you. For thinking you were anything like them. For every time I placed my comfort over your life. I didn’t know how to deal with it, but I loved you then. I’m pretty sure I still do.”
“I know.” There was no need to wonder how much sincerity was in Brit’s confession. Kirby had felt the reality of these words. She moved into the room as well, leaving the safety of the door behind. Not that she believed Brit would hurt her, but the instinct to give herself a rapid exit was still there.
“Side-effect of living in my head, I suppose,” Brit said.
“But it doesn’t overwrite what I lived or how I experienced it. I’ve seen how you feel, what you meant every time...” you betrayed me. “It still hurts, though I understand your side of things now. If I hadn’t seen that your outlook has changed, it wouldn’t matter what you intended. I wouldn’t be here.”
“That’s fair. It doesn’t mean I like it, but it’s reasonable.” Brit sighed heavily and sank into a nearby chair. “Since the very first day I met you, you’ve tried to protect me. Even when I was shot in the warehouse, you were there watching over me. Just once, I’d like to be the one...” Another sigh, this one softer.
Something else Kirby never recognized until she saw the world from Brit’s perspective. “You were the one, when it came to Hel. You did that”—betrayed me—“to keep me safe.” Fucked up, but true.
“My point is I don’t want you looking out for me forever.”
Kirby had seen the sentiment, but it wasn’t one that made sense to her, even now. “That’s what partners do—look out for each other.” Starkad had her back. Gwydion too.
Brit opened her mouth.
“I’m not talking about a one-way street. I never wanted to be your guardian, with you hiding behind me. I know you saw things that way, but I wanted us to be equals. You look out for me, and I look out for you. Until I was sharing your thoughts, I never realized how different your perspective on us was.”
“And I never understood how you couldn’t see the lack of balance.”
“I didn’t want to.” It was easier for Kirby to be believe her intentions were all that mattered, regardless of how many ways Brit tried to say otherwise. “I’d do things differently this time.”
“I’m sorry. Still. Again. Over and over, until I prove I mean it. Ever since I found out you were alive...”
Kirby leaned against the table, next to Brit. It was a complicated feeling, especially when she tried to put it into words.
“Do you think we could ever be us again?” Brit asked.
Kirby shook her head. “No.”
“Oh.” The single syllable carried so much hurt and disappointment.
“But I think we could be something better.” Kirby hadn’t been sure until she said the words aloud. “Something more equal, given a little bit of time.” And a lot of healing. And talking. And more healing.
Brit stood, brushed her lips over Kirby’s, and pulled back to search her face.
Kirby leaned in and returned the kiss. It might as well have been their first, for as different as it felt from the past. There was no more, Oh my god, she likes me too. Instead, there was a whole lot of, Is this a mistake? It feels right. Can we actually work?
The desire was there, lingering under years of hurt and aching to be recognized.
Brit stepped back. “Your guys aren’t going to come after me for this, are they?” Hesitation undercut her teasing tone.
“No.”
“It’s weird, knowing that you know so much about me now. Could I do the same in return? Crawl inside your head and get a feel for you?” Brit asked.
“You don’t want to be there.” For a while, even Kirby didn’t want to be in her own head. “Though in a way, you always have been.”
“Gwydion said the same thing about you.”
Kirby wasn’t surprised. “He has a lot of the same scars I do. Then again, so do you and I.” She leaned in, but hesitated for a heartbeat before claiming another kiss. Her heart ached as it slammed against her ribs. This wasn’t the same kind of fear she felt the first time she met Gwydion and Min in this life, when she was throwing caution to the wind to escape her past.
This was her past, and with time, effort, and a lot of reestablished boundaries, it might be her future as well.
Brit’s lips were soft and plump. Delicious and inviting. She glided her palms up Kirby’s stomach, heat searing through fabric, and dragged her mouth down Kirby’s jaw to kiss along her neck.
Kirby tugged her backward without looking, to fall onto the couch, and Brit landed to straddle one leg. Everything about this tied to their missions together. The physical was the same, but the emotion underneath ran deeper—a chasm of bittersweet, lined with cords of darkness and slivers of light.
Brit ground her weight into Kirby’s thigh. Instinct drove now, whispering which buttons to push, and anticipating pleasure in return. Kirby teased Brit’s breast
, dragging a thumb over her nipple. They dove into hungrier kisses. Whimpers overlapped sighs. Desire flooded Kirby’s veins.
“Wait.” Brit’s protest was weak, as she pulled away. She wavered as she stumbled to her feet. “I don’t know if I want this to become sex. Or rather, I do. Desperately. But... not today.”
“You’re probably right. I guess I’ll finish myself off when I get home.” She shouldn’t have let the teasing slip out, but it was too late to take the words back.
“You’re allowed to do that?” Brit looked amused and sounded surprised. “Multiple gorgeous men at your beck and call, and you diddle yourself?”
Diddle. The phrasing almost made Kirby laugh. “I don’t do it often, especially alone, but the intimacy in this room, it’s between the two of us. It’s not meant for sharing.”
“I mean, if we’re both going to masturbate anyway...” Brit stepped back to the wooden chair by the table, turned it, and sat, gaze never leaving Kirby. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
If they weren’t touching each other, was it technically sex? How did this make Kirby feel more like a shy teenager again than anything about her current sex life? “I do like an audience.”
“So I’ve seen.”
The building shifted under Kirby, the motion escalating to a rolling shake that sent dust spilling into the air. It was worse than the quake they’d felt on the TOM campus.
Fear splashed over Brit’s face. “This is what I felt when Loki killed the others. But bigger.”
And it was close enough to threaten to bring a hotel down around them. Fuck.
THANK YOU FOR VENTURING back onto the TOM campus with Kirby.
A prophecy has come to light that no on has heard in hundreds of years, that the last Valkyrie will be no more. A new god of destruction has been loosed. He’s looking for his sister, and vengeance, and Kirby stands in the way of both. She’s about to find out how real the prophecies are.
› One-click VALKYRIE CROWNED, the high-stakes conclusion to the Valkyrie’s Legacy series.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR more high-action urban fantasy, with a heroine who doesn’t have to choose, the TRUTH’S HAREM series is complete. The gods want Lexi dead, and her mother haunts her dreams. But she’s destined to fall for a hellhound shifter and two Greek heroes, so at least fate only mostly has it in for her.
› Start the series with FATE’S ILLUSION today
About the Author
USA Today Bestselling Author Allyson Lindt is a full-time geek and a fuller-time author. She likes her stories with sweet geekiness and heavy spice, and loves a sexy happily-ever-after. Because cubicle dwellers need love too. Read all of her books to see why A Lust for Reading said her books made them "smile and literally laugh out loud", Revenge of the Feels loved the sizzling attraction, ...danger, betrayal and humor" and readers call them "book nirvana","geek hotness", "sexy" and "fast paced".
Read more at Allyson Lindt’s site.
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