by Allen, Dylan
“Because you’re rude,” Penn hisses.
“She doesn’t know who we are,” she says plaintively and I feel uneasy for the first time since I got here.
I look around the table again, studying their faces. Who are they? Before I can ask, Nadia continues.
“I mean, it’s cool being treated like a normal human, but it's also… weird. Maybe she wouldn’t know the rest of us…but, like, everyone knows who Jack is. And she’s barely looked at him once, so either she’s a great actress or she lives under a rock.” She shrugs like her assessment is the most obvious thing in the world.
I turn to Carter, not sure how to respond and find him shooting daggers at his sister.
“She’s right there, Nadia. She can hear you,” Carter scolds her.
I look between them, confused and uncomfortable.
“I don’t watch TV. Or movies, really. Where should I know you from?”
Nadia exchanges a glance with her mother, who gives a nod.
“So, we have a reality show. It started because Jack used to be a famous soccer player, like huge…he played in Europe. But now, he’s washed up and most famous for his leaked sex tape. It got him a reality show, and then they gave me one, too,” Nadia explains matter of factly.
“You’re such an asshole, Nad,” Jack says as he stands. He presses a kiss to his mother’s cheek and squeezes his father’s shoulder.
“Nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ll never see you again, so I won’t bother pretending that there’ll be a next time. Goodnight.”
And then with a parting middle finger at both his siblings, he strolls out of the kitchen.
I laugh, delighted by their honest, razor-sharp banter. The kind of trust that takes is something I’ve never had with anyone but James. And even that has been polluted by my father’s constantly pulling James into his schemes, which means he has to keep things from me.
These people, you can tell they know everything about each other.
“Sorry about him. I wish I could blame it on him being dropped on his head or something, but he was born that way,” Penn says, her eyes loving as they follow him out of the room.
“Do you live close by?” his father asks.
“No, I don’t. I live in West Winsome.”
“Oh, I see. You’re not too far from home, then,” he says.
“Yes… I was here for a party. I came with some people, but I’m sure they left when they couldn’t find me…you know, figuring I would find my way home…" I say, even though I’m sure they didn’t spare me a second thought.
“They’re terrible friends,” Carter says.
“Yeah…well, I really should have stayed home. My brother told me it would be lame.”
“So, have you lived here your whole life?” Carter asks.
I nod. “My great-grandfather's father founded a business here, and it’s what’s kept Winsome from going the way of so many other small towns."
His father slaps the table excitedly and his eyes bug out of his head.
“Wait, your last name is Wolfe? Is your father Drew Wolfe?” he asks and I nod, my hopes for anonymity disappearing like a candle flame in the wind.
“How do you know him?” I ask, reluctant to talk about it, but even more reluctant to be rude to any of these people.
“Yeah, I grew up around here. He was a little younger than me, I think, but everyone knew who he was. He was a hell-raiser until he got shipped off to the army.”
“Really?" I ask and raise my eyebrows in surprise. My austere, strict conservative father was a hell-raiser?
Color me shocked.
His father laughs at my expression. “Oh yeah. I know he’s Mr. Bossman now, but back then, he was known for stirring shit up. I left for college while he was still away in the service, but I remember hearing when his father and brother died. I don’t have any family left here, but we lived in Texas for the first ten years of our marriage. Then we moved to Ithaca, New York, with the kids. And then, pretty soon after we got C-- “
“Dad, I don’t want to tell our whole life story,” Carter cuts in sharply, and while his tone is jovial, his eyes are deadly serious.
His father gives him an apologetic smile and nods.
“Sorry, I talk too much.”
I pretend I didn’t notice their strange exchange and smile at his father.
“Tell me more about my dad. I can’t imagine him ever being anything other than who he is now.”
His father makes a show of peering at me. I instinctively turn my left side away.
“Sorry, it’s just that you don’t look a thing like him. Who's your mother? Is she from here, too?” he asks.
“No. They met when he was stationed in France. They got married and moved here when his father died.”
“Parle-toi Francaise?” Nadia says excitedly, and I hate having to disappoint her.
I shake my head no.
“Your mother didn’t teach you?” Penn says reproachfully.
“My parents are divorced. My mother has lived in France since I was little.” Not that if she lived here, my father would have let her teach us. He thought it would give us ideas about seeing the world. And he didn’t want us doing what Phil did and pulling a runner.
”So you live with your father?” Carter asks, and I realize that I’d tensed in preparation for their judgment or pity at my revelation.
None of that comes, and I relax.
“Yeah, he remarried. I have two older brothers. But only one lives here. He’s eight years older than me, and we're really close. He's the one I'm staying with. My other brother is three years older than me."
I don’t want to tell them that I have no idea where my brother is. They’d probably think I came from a family of monsters, given how much they value each other.
“So, are you a student?” his sister asks, her eyes bright with genuine interest. She’s looking at me like we’ve known each other our whole lives, and I wish she was my sister. I smile, for once, not self-conscious about my lack of formal education.
“No, I work for my dad. It’s a family business.”
His father barks out a laugh. “Yeah, so is Walmart.”
I blush.
“You’re embarrassing her and us, Lor,” Penn says in a stern voice, and I flush even hotter.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that she’s being so modest,” he says good-naturedly.
I look at Carter, who’s watching me so closely that I can feel the caress of his eyes. My core clenches, and I look away from him before I say something to embarrass myself.
“Wolfe is one of the largest construction companies in the country.”
“The largest,” his father amends.
“The largest,” I concur with a deprecating smile.
“I hear your father’s running for governor again.”
My father’s repeated attempts to win back the office his father held has become a joke. The snickers and public ridicule has only made him more determined to win. It’s the most important thing to him right now.
“Third time’s going to be the charm,” I say with a tight smile.
“So, Liz, are you like, the small-town princess?” Nadia asks.
I laugh at how ridiculous that sounds when held up against the truth.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because we think of everyone in terms of archetypes,” his mother interjects with a shrug. “It’s a hazard of being on a reality show for so long, you think about how you’d cast everyone you meet.”
I’m immediately intrigued. It’s been a long time since I spent time with people I don’t know. I wonder how they see me without my backstory for context.
“How would you cast me?” I ask.
Carter chimes in. “That’s easy. You’re totally the small-town princess. You’ve got a rich powerful father, and you're the beautiful, smart, charming daughter. You’ve probably got shelves that sag under the weight of your trophies and tiaras.”
I sputter a laugh at
how off the mark it is.
“And, you’re not strung out, you have impeccable manners, and you’re not a diva. You’d be a dream for the show. Everyone loves girls like you. The guys would want to be with you.”
I gape at her.
Beautiful?
Smart?
Girls like me?
I set them straight.
“None of that is reality, but I’m going to say thank you. It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I’ve never looked a gift horse in the mouth,” I say happily.
They all wish me happy birthday, and for once, I think it just might be.
“You should spend the night. We’ll make you a celebratory breakfast in the morning. Hopefully, the water will have receded; that little bridge is completely flooded,” Penn says.
It’s still raining. I told James I’d be home when he woke up, so I could stay and leave at first light. But…I’ve never spent the night anywhere but at my house and his, and my makeup won’t hold all night.
I glance at Carter, and he’s looking at his mother like she just grew horns.
Maybe he doesn’t want me to stay.
I rub my cheek and shake my head in regret.
“I shouldn’t impose. You don’t have to worry about taking me home or anything. I can call a cab.”
“There’s a cab service? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I’ve spent the entire week trapped in this house and you made me spend it by this one lake?” Nadia questions.
“I offered to drive you to town several times,” Carter’s voice is dry and devoid of any sympathy.
“You drive like a maniac. I’m not putting this body in anything you’re the captain of,” Nadia scowls at him.
“Shut up, idiot,” Carter says irritably.
Their mother sighs.
“My children are jerks, but I promise it’s only to each other. Call your brother, let him know you’ll be back in the morning. I doubt any cabs would come out here in this weather. And there’s no need. We have a spare room.”
The offer is so tempting. Duke and his crew are probably long gone by now.
I am tired.
But…there’s Carter.
My eyes slide to his. He’s watching me. His eyes are hooded, and he’s caught his bottom lip between his teeth. When our eyes meet, a slow smile spreads across his face and my toes curl.
Oh yeah, he wants me to stay.
“Okay,” I say and smile at him.
He stands suddenly. And holds out a hand to me.
“I’ll show you to your room.”
“Show her the room and get right back down here, Carter. She may be twenty, but you are not allowed to have sex while we’re under the same roof,” Penn calls, and I flush from the tips of my toes to the top of my scalp.
I say goodnight and thank them all again and am grateful for Carter’s hand holding mine as we exit the kitchen.
“Sorry about my mother. And my family. We’re all pretty direct people.”
“I like that. You’re wonderful. So, they’re like uber famous?”
“Yeah. Not that it means anything, but yes.”
“Wow, that’s cool. So you’re just here on vacation?”
He laughs.
“You sound surprised. I got the impression you get lots of tourists.”
“The Hill Country in general, yes. Winsome, not so much. But, your dad is from around here, so I guess y'all come here regularly?”
“No, it’s our first time. He got lung cancer last year. He’s in remission and he’s on this whole bucket list thing and we’re doing it with him. Next week, we’re leaving to hike part of the Appalachian Trail. It’s going to be crazy, but we’ve been training and we’re ready.”
My heart squeezes at the way he tries to sound lighthearted and optimistic. His anguish, though, is evident in the catch of his voice and the way his fingers squeeze mine tightly when he said “cancer.”
I look over my shoulder, even though I can’t see them anymore. I imagine that table—the happy family gathered around it--and I can’t believe they’re in the middle of a tragedy like this.
“I’m so sorry I’ve intruded on your precious time,” I say.
“No, you’ve added to it. I’m glad I met you. It’s nice to know people like you exist.”
I stop on the next step and turn to face him. “Who are people like me?”
His expression is as solemn as I’ve ever seen it and there’s a tenderness there that makes my knees weak.
“People who don’t want anything. People who speak from the heart. People who aren’t just a pretty shell.”
He has such a way with words and I wish I did so I could tell him how much what he said means to me. That I feel seen, that for the first time someone likes me for the same reasons I like myself.
We reach the top of the stairs and walk down the hallway in a delicious, anticipation-laden silence. Our hands brush against each other as we walk. After the fourth time, his pinky curls around mine.
It’s such a tiny thing, but I’m engulfed by emotions I can’t explain.
I’ve never minded being alone, but his finger holding mine, I feel a rush of relief that almost brings me to my knees.
I’ve been so hungry for this. It’s achingly pure in motive—a touch just for the sake of it.
The rest of our fingers intertwine and his thumb strokes the inside of my wrist. It’s the most natural thing in the world to hold his hand, and at the same time it feels like a dream.
“Here we are,” he says when we’ve reached the end of the hall.
His voice is gruff, but it glides over me like the whisper of luxurious silk. I turn, my back to the door, and look up into his spectacular face.
His eyes burn into mine, and my heart trips over itself.
The very air around us is charged with the longing I’ve been feeling since he swept me off my feet and carried me through the rain.
“Thank you for rescuing me.” My mouth has gone dry, and I lick my lower lip. He eyes follow the movement and narrow like a hunter who has sighted his prey and is trying to decide the best way to catch it.
His phone buzzes and he closes his eyes, throwing his head back in frustration.
When he looks back at me, his eyes are bright with conflict.
“I need to speak with my father. Can I come back?” He says the last part like it’s got a deeper meaning he expects me to grasp.
“Come back?” I ask, dazedly.
He nods, and I notice that his throat is working, like he’s nervous, too.
“I’m insanely attracted to you. I don’t know what your situation is, but I’d like to come back here and talk and kiss you and whatever else…”
If my hair had been on fire, I wouldn’t have been able to scream because I’m speechless.
He wants to kiss me.
I’m going to have my first kiss.
In the face of my silence, he flushes and drops my hands. He takes a step back from me and groans.
“I’m an ass. I’m sorry, I thought that…you were sort of into me, too.”
“I am…it’s just…” I scramble for the words that seem determine to evade me. I curse my stupid brain. Why couldn’t I have a gift with words, instead of the ability to draw and paint things that no one else seems to understand?
He moves even further away. “I know, I’m leaving soon. It’s selfish of me to—”
“No!” I say it more sharply than I mean to and surprise registers on his face.
“I’m not good with words…not like you are. I…" I sigh in frustration when he only looks more confused and moves away a little.
I’m messing this up and I refuse to let that happen. I can’t say what I want to, but I can show him.
I’m scared. Even though he’s said he’s interested, I can see that I will have to be the one to make a move. So, I call on my courage and take a step toward him.
His eyes narrow when I slip a hand around the back of his neck. He doesn’t miss a beat; his hands slide around my wai
st, and he closes the distance between us. My breasts press into the solid wall of his chest and I can feel the thump of his heart against my own.
Our faces are only an inch apart, his lips are slightly parted and mossy green eyes are devouring every inch of my face.
I cup his jaw, and marvel at the scrape of his stubble against the palm of my hand. God… I could get used to touching him like this. So easily.
“So, is that a yes?” he asks, and the cinnamon from the chai fills the next breath I inhale.
I raise up on my toes so that we’re nose to nose and my lips start to throb.
“Yes. Come back. I’m very attracted to you, too.”
And then I lean forward, slowly bringing my lips toward his. He cups the back of my head, and it fits perfectly in the cradle of his big palm like it was carved from the same bone.
His nose brushes the tip of mine.
Once.
Twice.
I’m melting from the inside out. My nipples tighten so fast they sting, and the space between my thighs starts to throb again, this time though the pulsing is deep and there’s a pressure building. My hips rock forward and when I feel the hard evidence of his desire, a moan unfurls from the deepest part of me and spills out of my mouth in a whimper.
“Fuck…that sound, Beth,” he growls before he claims my mouth.
The heat of his kiss surprises me, and I gasp. He slides his tongue between my parted lips, and the sugar, cinnamon and clover on his breath is heady and divine.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and let him lead us.
The dance turns into a feast, and our lips and tongues make merry.
That this magic is my first kiss feels like an early birthday gift. And maybe an apology from the universe. After my experience with Duke, this kiss is an elixir of good karma, serendipity, and cosmic kismet.
In my mind’s eye, I see visions of us - our kissing mouths sealed together, eyes closed. Our bodies are a midnight blue flecked with gold. We have stars for eyes and moonbeams for hair, and we hover above the ground on wings spun from silvery starlight. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I know that I will find a way to put it on paper.
This kiss is what I’ve always dreamed I’d find in the shadows, but Carter has given it to me with lights blazing all around us.
