by Lisa Dyson
Ashleigh had hit Play on her cell phone to listen to the voice message when the phone in Kyle’s office began ringing. She hadn’t even known he had a landline. Unable to hear the message clearly on her phone, she hurried toward the office to pick up the phone, but it stopped ringing before she got there.
Kyle’s voice was clear through the bedroom door. He must have an extension in there, too. Heat suffused her. She hadn’t spent much time looking at details of the room when they’d been locked in each other’s arms.
From what Ashleigh could hear on the other side of the bedroom door, Kyle wasn’t saying much, mostly listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone. Ashleigh tried again to listen to Mrs. Thornton’s message.
“Hello, Dr. Wilson, this is Edna Thornton. As persuasive as you’ve been, I’m afraid I’m going to have to wait until Dr. Jennings’ lawsuit is resolved before I can consider donating to his very worthwhile charity. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m sure you understand. Please let me know the moment you have good news.”
As the message ended, Kyle opened his bedroom door. Ashleigh jumped, a combination of surprise and guilty conscience.
He grinned at her. A sexy, sleepy grin. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She smiled, unable to take her eyes off his bare chest and strong shoulders. He’d slipped his jeans on, but they were undone at the waist, drawing her eyes to the arrow of hair at his lower abdomen that led to what lay beneath.
“That was the hospital,” he told her, kissing her cheek.
“Do they need you to come in?” she asked over her shoulder as she went into the living room to put her phone back into her purse.
“That wasn’t about work,” he said. “Paula’s water broke.”
Ashleigh spun around and her eyes widened. “You’re kidding!”
“Nope,” he said. “A nurse from Labor and Delivery called from Paula’s cell phone. Paula asked her to call me and let me know that they were taking her to do an ultrasound to be on the safe side. You were going to get a call next, but I told her I’d handle it.” He winked at Ashleigh and damn if she didn’t melt at his sexy grin.
“Has her labor started?” She returned to what was important right at that moment.
“Not yet.”
Ashleigh did a mental calculation. “She’s a little over thirty-four weeks, right?” Her adrenaline pumped as reality set in.
“Sounds right.” He reached for her and nuzzled her neck. “The baby’s developed enough. Everything should be fine.”
She pulled back. “We need to get to the hospital.”
“No hurry.” He tried to guide her back to his bedroom. “Stephanie is on her way to the hospital,” he said, referring to Paula’s labor coach.
“How can you think about sex when my sister is about to have a baby?”
His sexy grin alone was about to be her undoing.
She slapped playfully at him and laughed. “I mean it. We need to get going.” She looked down at herself and when she glanced back up, he was staring at her hardened nipples through his T-shirt.
“Well, you can’t wear that to the hospital,” he told her. He waggled his eyebrows at her and grabbed her around the waist with one arm. “And the moment you take off my T-shirt, you know I’m going to be all over you like white on rice.”
Before she could react, he cupped her breast and leaned down to take her nipple into his mouth through the shirt. Then he ran his hand up the back of her leg and squeezed her bare bottom. Electricity coursed through her from her breast to her lower abdomen and beyond. Her legs gave way, but Kyle had her braced tight enough that she didn’t fall.
“Okay,” she panted. “You win. We might as well do this instead of sitting in the waiting room for hours.”
“Now you’re talking.” He chuckled, the sound coming from deep within his chest and vibrating throughout her body.
“But you have to be quick,” she told him, which made him laugh even more. “We still need to get to the hospital sooner rather than later.”
“Paula’s going to give birth to our niece or nephew whether we’re there or not.” He put an arm under her knees and picked her up, heading into his bedroom. “And I can be as quick as you want me to be.”
With that said, he dumped her on the bed, stripped off his jeans and showed her how speedy—as well as how thorough—he could be.
* * *
IF HIS INTERNSHIP with its all-night shifts had taught Kyle one thing, it had been how to manage to stay awake even when he desperately wanted to sleep.
Especially after the physically exhaustive evening he and Ashleigh had shared.
He squeezed Ashleigh’s hand as they once again sat together in the waiting area shared by Labor and Delivery and the maternity ward. He really hoped her anxiety over being back here again didn’t return. He hadn’t kept her in his bed as long as possible for sex alone.
She glanced over at him. “How much longer do you think it’ll be?”
“No idea.” They’d spent a few minutes with Paula before her doctor came in to examine her. He and Ashleigh had been sitting in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes now, but he tried to keep his concern to himself. “Rosy already started Pitocin. Something should be happening soon since this is Paula’s third pregnancy.”
Finally, Rosy came out of Paula’s labor room. She closed the door behind her and crossed the hall to stand in front of Ashleigh and Kyle.
“How’s she doing?” Kyle asked.
“Not as well as we’d hoped.” Concern was evident in Rosy’s tone. “Her labor is strong but not productive. She’s not even dilated three centimeters yet.”
Ashleigh shot up from her chair. “But it hasn’t been that long,” she said. “You’re not worried, are you?”
Kyle rose, put an arm around Ashleigh’s shoulders and squeezed gently.
“We’re doing everything we can for both Paula and the baby,” Rosy said cryptically. “You can go in to see her now.”
Rosy had turned to leave when Ashleigh said, “Wait.” She glanced nervously at Kyle before looking at Rosy to ask, “I know this isn’t the best time, but did you happen to get my test results yet?”
Rosy’s eyes flicked briefly to Kyle before saying to Ashleigh, “I’ll check with the lab to see if they have them.”
Ashleigh nodded and Rosy headed in the direction of the elevators.
“Test results?” Kyle asked when they were alone.
“I had a pregnancy test done.” Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her.
He swallowed. “So we might know soon, one way or the other.”
Tears flooded her eyes.
He guided her back down into her chair and he joined her, holding her hand on his thigh. He ran his thumb absently over the length of hers.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it before saying, “You know I invited you over for dinner tonight because I thought we had things to work out.” He squeezed her hand. “Making love to you was never in my plan.”
She turned her head to peer at him through narrowed, glassy eyes. “Never?”
He smiled. “Well, maybe not never.”
Her mouth turned up slightly.
“Anyway,” he said. “I know you said you wouldn’t stay in Grand Oaks if you were pregnant, but—”
“Do we have to talk about this now?” She blinked several times. “Can’t we wait until we know one way or the other?”
“We need to get this settled.” Before their emotions took over.
She waited for him to continue.
“I know you’ve made a life for yourself in Richmond,” he began. “But if you’re pregnant, then that changes everything.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she insisted.
He raised a hand. “Hear
me out. I’m not done,” he said. “I love you, Ashleigh. I’ve always loved you. From the moment I saw you in the middle-school cafeteria. I couldn’t bear to have you hours away if you’re carrying my child.”
“I love you, too,” she said, “but it doesn’t change anything. We loved each other before and it wasn’t enough.”
The same words she’d used earlier. He hung his head and remembered to breathe.
“We both know the chances of me carrying to term are slight.” She sounded a little desperate. “I might not even be pregnant.”
“Let me ask you this.” He took another approach. “Do you want to be pregnant?”
Again, she narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you asking?” A tear spilled down her cheek and she angrily swiped at it. “It’s not like I have control over it. I’m either pregnant or I’m not.”
“The question isn’t a difficult one, Ash.” He spoke gently, smoothing her hair back from her face. “I want to know now, before we find out for sure, whether you want this to happen or not.”
She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know, Kyle. I don’t know. I’m not sure I can handle another miscarriage.”
“I’ll be there for you. Every step of the way.”
She removed her hands and her lips quivered. “I’m scared.”
“Me, too,” he whispered. He drew her closer and held her, but he still hadn’t received a definitive answer.
A few minutes went by before he spoke. “Ash?”
She raised her head from his shoulder to look at him. “Hmm?”
“If you’re pregnant, will you promise to stay in Grand Oaks?”
Her mouth formed an O and she didn’t answer right away. “You mean stay with you?” she asked.
He hadn’t thought that far ahead, but that sounded right. “Yes, with me. Give us another chance.”
Her brow furrowed. Was she considering it? “But my job is in Richmond.”
“We can work out all the details.” Desperation surfaced. “Just say you’ll stay with me if you’re pregnant.”
“If I’m pregnant,” she repeated. There was a long pause. “What about when I miscarry?”
“All the more reason you should stay here.” Then he added, “Think positively.”
“But the chances—”
“Screw the odds,” he said firmly. “No negativity.”
“I have to think about it.”
Not the answer he wanted, but at least she was considering it. “Of course.”
Just then, Rosy came down the hall. Her gait was brisk and businesslike.
She stopped in front of them. This was it. In a heartbeat he’d know whether he and Ashleigh had a chance of having a future together.
Because he knew if she wasn’t pregnant, then she’d be gone and out of his life again.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ASHLEIGH’S PULSE POUNDED in her temples as Rosy came down the hall toward them. This was it. Either pregnant or not. Then they could proceed from there. She ran her sweaty palms over her jean-covered thighs and sucked in oxygen.
Kyle wanted her to stay in town if she was pregnant. He hadn’t said anything about wanting her to stay if she wasn’t.
What had she expected? He’d always wanted children and she was the least likely candidate to give him any. Why would he want to tie himself down with her again? That would be repeating past mistakes. She’d done him a huge favor when she’d ended their marriage. He couldn’t help but feel an obligation to be there for her if the test came back positive.
She wished, not for the first time, that he had put up at least a bit of a struggle when she’d asked him for a divorce.
“Ashleigh?” Kyle’s voice close to her ear brought her out of her introspection.
Rosy was standing in front of them. She’d probably spoken, but Ashleigh had been so into her thoughts that she’d shut out the rest of the world.
“Sorry,” Ashleigh said.
“I was saying that I went to the lab for your results,” Rosy said.
Ashleigh’s chest constricted and she couldn’t breathe. The sympathy in Rosy’s eyes was evident before she said another word. The stunning realization came in that moment.
Ashleigh had wanted to be pregnant. Desperately. Even if she miscarried, she’d at least have a reason to stay in town. She’d get some more time with Kyle. The two nights they’d spent together hadn’t even been close to enough.
“I’m sorry,” Rosy continued in a doctor-giving-bad-news tone. She hadn’t used her sympathetic “friend voice,” possibly to steel herself from her own feelings. “The test was negative.”
Ashleigh refused to let the outcome break her. “I’m not surprised.” She remained as cool as possible, while inside she was crumbling. “There was only a slight chance I could be pregnant and with my history of endometriosis, that lessened my chances considerably.”
She couldn’t turn her head to look at Kyle, couldn’t bear to know whether it was relief or pain in his eyes.
“Dr. Bausch?” A nurse called from a patient’s doorway down the hall and waved her over.
“Excuse me.” Rosy looked pointedly at Ashleigh. “We’ll talk more later,” she said before hurrying down the hall to the patient’s room.
No need for any more talking. Not pregnant was not pregnant. Period.
“Ash?” Kyle’s voice sounded far away, but it came from the chair next to hers.
She couldn’t make her mouth form words.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She finally looked at him and wished she hadn’t. His eyes were red rimmed. She turned away quickly and her hands flew to her mouth.
A choking sound escaped before she could hold it in. What had she been thinking? No way was she going to get upset about not being pregnant. This was a relief. She wouldn’t have to go through another miscarriage. Wouldn’t that have been so much worse than not being pregnant in the first place?
Now she’d be able to make sure everything was in place here in Grand Oaks before returning to her life in Richmond. That had been her plan from the beginning.
Kyle should be thrilled that he wouldn’t have to go through the heartbreak of another miscarriage with her. And he’d be free to move on without her...again.
No matter how much they proclaimed to love each other, Kyle would be relieved when he was able to process it. She was certain.
“Ashleigh?” Kyle said again as if from far away.
“Hmm?” She didn’t look at him.
“I asked if you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She wished her voice was stronger. She tried to clear her throat, but the lump persisted.
She couldn’t do this now. Not if she had any hope of keeping herself together. She rose quickly. Apparently too quickly because she became light-headed. She grabbed for the arm of the chair and missed. Kyle caught her around the waist before she lost her balance.
“Sit back down.” He helped her into her seat. “Are you feeling all right?”
“I got up too quickly.” She tried to rise again, but he put a hand on her knee to stop her. “I’m overtired with everything that’s been going on.” Lightening the mood and changing the subject became her objectives. “You were always better than I was at going on little sleep.” She nudged him with her elbow and said out of the side of her mouth, “Especially after the evening we had in your bed.” Hysteria rose inside her and it took all her willpower to keep it from bubbling out.
“Ashleigh, stop it.” Kyle’s voice was stern.
She lowered her voice but couldn’t stop herself. “What’s the matter? Afraid someone will find out we’ve been having wild sex?” Hysteria was winning.
“I mean it.” He rose from his chair to stand in front of her.
&nb
sp; “Hey, you should be celebrating.” She feigned cheerfulness. “I’m not pregnant. Now you don’t have to worry about me sticking around. You’re a free man.”
“Let’s go get some coffee and find somewhere private,” he suggested. “The E.R. has a new single-cup coffeemaker and we can sit in the conference room.”
He’d always been a champ when it came to steering the subject away from sensitive topics.
“Sure, we’ll ‘talk.’” She used air quotes to punctuate her sarcasm. “Like we ‘talked’ every time I miscarried.”
“We did talk.”
“Oh, right. We talked about how to fix me, how to have children some other way. If that’s what you mean by talking, then fine, we talked.” She sucked in a breath. “Although I guess we never needed to talk about anything else. You made it quite clear that I’d failed you. You kept trying to fix the situation and I wasn’t cooperating. You could never accept me, faults and all.”
“That’s not true. Not once did I think you failed me.” He kept his voice low and deliberate.
“Oh, sure. That’s why you wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t stop sending me for tests and procedures. Anything so you could have what you wanted.”
“I didn’t mean—” He reached for her but she pushed him away. “I wanted to give you what you wanted most in life.”
“What I wanted?” Anger crept into her tone.
“Don’t you want a child?”
She let out a laugh that sounded as fake as it felt. “You don’t understand, Kyle. I can’t have a child. I’ve spent the past two years learning to accept that. You still haven’t. You won’t let yourself admit that we’ll never have the perfect life we planned.”
“That’s not true.”
“Then why did I find the medical journals and new research on infertility in your apartment? You’re still trying to fix me. Trying to make me your perfect wife and the perfect mother of your children.”
“What am I supposed to do? Ignore the fact that you might be pregnant and that there may be something new that might help you carry to term?”
“Well, I’m not pregnant, so there’s no need for more research.” She stood up on shaky legs. “You go get coffee if you want it. I can’t do this anymore. This is the end for us. I’m not pregnant, so you’re no longer obligated. You’re free. We have nothing else to discuss.”
