by Mandy Baxter
“And that bothers you?”
Of course it did! “Yes. I mean … no.” She’d been seeing Spencer when Luke showed back up. And before that, she’d had other boyfriends. Could she really be angry with him for seeing other women? “I don’t know. Ugh. I just wish that loving Luke wasn’t so damned complicated.”
“Let me ask you a question. Would you love him if he wasn’t complicated? If he was calm and level-headed? Dispassionate? Would you love Luke if he was boring and safe?”
She didn’t even have to think about it. “No.”
Ryder turned and fixed her with a stern, almost fatherly stare. “Then what are you doing sitting out here? Don’t you think you should go bail him out?”
Right. Like she had bail money.
“Here.” He handed over a blank check with his signature scrawled across the bottom. “Just tell me the damage tomorrow. I don’t want to think about it tonight. I told him that I’d be bailing his ass out of jail before he went home.”
Kayleigh stared down at the check and then stretched her hand out to Ryder. “I can’t.” He took the check from her, a crease digging into his brow. “I need some space and I need to think. I thought I could do this but I’m not so sure. Tell him I’m sorry, Ryder.” She pushed herself away from the wall and stood, handing him the keys to Luke’s car. “Tell Lara I’m really sorry for ruining your night.”
Ryder frowned, and the weight of his gaze settled heavily on her as Kayleigh jogged across the parking lot. She had no idea how she was going to get home, but one thing was for certain: she needed to get as far away from Luke as possible before her composure crumbled once and for all.
TWELVE
Luke supposed he could add a civil lawsuit to his paternity suit after tonight. His manager and label would be thrilled. He supposed his lawyer would be genuinely happy, though. Nothing like racking up the legal fees at six-hundred-plus-dollars an hour to save him from utter self-destruction. And now, he could add cutting a check to whoever had bailed his ass outta jail to his mounting list of debts.
He’d only been home for a couple of days and he’d managed to fuck everything up. That fucking tabloid. What a bunch a vultures. Luke hadn’t been running from Minnie or her allegations per se, he’d just reached the level of shit he was willing to take and decided that it was time to clear his head and set his priorities.
As the deputy slid a manila envelope with his possessions across the counter, he gave Luke a lopsided grin. “Think you could sign an autograph for my daughter before you leave? I have to listen to your songs on repeat every morning on the drive to school. No offense, but I’m hoping she finds a new band to obsess over soon.”
Nothing rounded out a stellar night like autographing swag for the dude who’d booked him. “Sure, man. Have you got anything I could sign?”
He handed Luke a large yellow notebook. “Will this work?”
He’d signed odder things than a legal pad. “What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Hailey.”
Luke scrawled out a quick note and scribbled his name beneath it. He handed the notebook back to the deputy and he traded it for a clipboard. “Sorry, Mr. Blackwell, but I need you sign this as well, acknowledging that we’ve returned your personal belongings to you. Also, you’ll get a notice within thirty days regarding your court date. If you have any questions, you can call the courthouse.”
“Right.” Luke scrawled his name on the necessary paperwork. His lawyer was going to blow a gasket that he didn’t call before putting his name to all of this shit, but it didn’t matter. Spencer Jackson could get in line behind all of the other assholes who wanted a piece of him and sue him for everything he was worth.
He snatched the envelope from the counter and headed for the lobby. He pushed open the glass door, his heart lodged somewhere in his throat. Please let her be here. Please let her be here …
“Hey, brother. I told you I’d be bailing you out of jail before you left.” Ryder stood from his seat and crossed to where Luke stood rooted to the floor.
Disappointment settled in his gut like a heavy stone. He knew that he’d fucked up, clocking Kayleigh’s ex, but she wasn’t even going to let him explain the tabloid article? How could she just walk away from him like that?
Like the way you walked away from her eight years ago?
He really was a bastard.
“Obviously, I’m not who you wanted to see,” Ryder remarked. He clapped a hand on Luke’s shoulder and urged him to move along. “Don’t sweat it, Luke. Maybe it would be a good idea to give her a little space.”
Luke stopped short of the exit and stared at his brother. “So she can have the time to overthink everything and make her own assumptions about this bullshit paternity case before she shuts me out for good?”
“Have you considered that if you put too much pressure on her too quickly that you might push her away for good all on your own?” Ryder held open the heavy glass door, staring down his brother. Luke let out an aggravated sigh and strode out into the cool night air. “Luke, you show up out of nowhere, eight years after leaving her and expect her to pick right up where you left off.”
“Why is that a bad thing?” It’s exactly what they’d done and he marveled at how easy it had been. They’d fallen back into their rhythm as though no time had passed at all. If that wasn’t a sign that they were meant to be together, he didn’t know what was.
Ryder hit the key fob, disengaging the alarm on Luke’s rental. “Of course it’s all well and good for you. You left her in this town, sitting on a virtual shelf while you went out and sowed your oats. In the view of public eyes. We live pretty far from L.A., Luke, but it’s a far cry from a cave in the woods. She watches TV, has Internet access. You don’t think it hurt her to bear witness to your wild antics over the years?”
Luke climbed into the passenger seat—he wasn’t in the mood to drive—and leaned the seat back. “Since you’re so old and wise, what do you think I should do?”
Ryder frowned, probably because Luke couldn’t help but point out that he was totally pulling the dad act on him. “If I were you, I’d get my shit together with my old life before trying to start to live a new one. Go home, Luke. Take care of business and set the record straight. Think about what you really want.”
“I know what I want.” He wanted Kayleigh.
“Fine, then think about why you want it.” Ryder started the car and flipped on the headlights before pulling out into traffic. Luke rested his forearm over his eyes, as much to block out Ryder and his nagging voice of reason as the streetlights passing by. “Do you want to be with her because you know in your heart that’s what’s best for both of you, or are your reasons totally selfish?”
Yup. That voice of reason was abso-fucking-lutely annoying. “What if I leave and she goes back to that asshole?”
Ryder snorted. “What if you stay and she goes back to that asshole? Look, I know that life wasn’t easy for us growing up, but you’ve got to do something about that chip on your shoulder. Spencer is an asshole. So what? So are a lot of people. Get over it and move on. Are you going to let the hang-ups you had as a teenager ruin your life as an adult?”
“Are you over all of it?” Ryder had shouldered all of the responsibility after their asshole of a dad had left and that included helping to support them financially. It was a wonder he’d graduated high school, let alone built their cattle ranch into the empire it now was. Didn’t it bother him that jerks like Spencer considered them nothing more than white trash despite their success?
“There’s no point in worrying over people who aren’t worth my time,” Ryder said. “I’d rather spend it on the people who are. The rest can go screw themselves.”
“Easier said than done,” Luke grumbled.
“You can’t have a future with Kayleigh if you keep trying to relive your past.” Ryder was certainly rocking the Zen vibe tonight. Did he have to be so damned mature and levelheaded? “Think about that when you’re taking care of
shit in L.A.”
It looked like he was officially being run out of town on a rail. By his own brother, no less.
“Keep an eye on her while I’m gone?”
“Always have,” Ryder replied.
Luke supposed it was finally time to grow up and let go of the past. He just hoped that the future he wanted would survive the changes he was about to make.
* * *
From the back porch swing, Kayleigh stared up at the stars dotting the inky night sky. You couldn’t see the stars when you lived in a big city like L.A. The air was heavy, birds didn’t sing. Too many people congested every nook and cranny. At least, that’s how she perceived it.
If she was being truly honest with herself, maybe she’d used tonight’s drama as an excuse to put distance between her and Luke. She could have taken Ryder’s check and bailed him out. Come back here and listened to his explanation. Really, though, what was there to explain? Kayleigh had spent years following Luke’s life through social media and the crap that passed as news reporting lately. As a young man, Luke had been no saint and as an adult, not much had changed. He was still wild. Reckless. Dismissive of authority. He still had a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas. His appetites were still insatiable. Each time she’d read the gossip or seen a picture of him with a new, drop-dead gorgeous starlet, model, or musician, it had broken off another shard of her heart.
Was she just one in a string of hookups for an ambitious rock star hell-bent on living up to his name? Or could she truly believe that Luke was still the same boy she’d fallen in love with? The one she’d promised forever to.
He’d only been home for a couple of days. In that time, they hadn’t once sat down and really talked.
Her cell rang and Kayleigh reached over to the antique milk can that doubled as an end table. Her heart beat with the speed of a hummingbird’s wings and then seized up as she read Ryder’s name on the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Ryder said. “How are you doing?”
How stupid was she that Kayleigh actually hoped it would be Luke on the other end of the line? She let out a slow breath and willed her heart to start beating at a nice even pace again. “I’m fine. How’s Luke?” Was he mad at her? Hurt that she’d ditched him? Worried? She hoped that Ryder would read between the lines and answer all of the questions that had gone unspoken.
“Mad at the world as always,” Ryder remarked with a laugh. “But relatively unfazed. What’s a little assault charge with everything else he’s dealing with, right?”
God, Kayleigh couldn’t even pretend to know what Ryder was talking about. She hadn’t taken the time to ask how his life was. She’d been more interested in protecting her own heart. A couple of great sexual interludes didn’t equal an emotional reconnection. Instead of treating him like the Luke who’d been her best friend, she’d treated him with as much carelessness as everyone else who wanted a piece of him.
“Ryder, I know it’s late, but do you think it would be okay if I came over and talked to him?”
Damn it, she should have stayed at the jail. It should have been her to pick Luke up and not Ryder. She should have been there for him and not hung him out to dry. She was such a jerk!
A space of silence passed and Kayleigh’s mouth went dry. “He’s not here,” Ryder finally said. “He took the red-eye and flew back to L.A.”
“W-what?” How could he just leave her again? Anger swelled like a rising tide, hot in the back of her throat.
“Settle down, Kayleigh,” Ryder said. “I told him to leave. You’re both worse than a couple of teenagers still, you know that? He needs a break. You need a break. He’s not gone forever. Just for a while.”
“A while” had been eight long years last time. How long would he leave her in a state of inertia this time? “Thanks for bailing him out, Ryder. I’ll talk to you later.”
Before he could continue to lecture her, Kayleigh disconnected the call. Ryder was right, though. They were both behaving like a couple of brainless, hormonal teenagers. She was twenty-six years old for Pete’s sake! She should be past this sort of drama. In fact, her life should be about her career, retirement plans, starting a family of her own. Her skin flushed with warmth as she remembered her moments with Luke in Angus’s bathroom. God, they’d been so careless. She was on the pill, but still … Consequences meant nothing when she was with Luke. Good decisions? What are those? But despite the fact that she knew she should put the past in the past and start looking toward a more stable future, Kayleigh couldn’t bear to think of a future that didn’t have Luke in it.
Maybe it was time for both of them to make a change.
THIRTEEN
“Okay guys, time to clean up your stations.”
Little bodies scattered like ants on a hill. The prospect of a few minutes to play outside before the busses showed up was enough to spur any little kindergartener into action. Such a cute group of kids, she’d miss them next year. In fact, she’d miss all of the kids at Riverview Elementary next year. She’d fallen in love with their sweet—and sometimes ornery—faces, not to mention the friends and colleagues she’d be leaving behind.
It’s not too late to change your mind. You could just stay home and play it safe.
No. It was too late. With only two months left before summer break, the school district was already looking for someone to replace her. It might have only been a few weeks since Luke had left, but Kayleigh was sure of the decision she’d made. It was time to take life by the horns and stop being scared.
“Wow, the stations are so clean!” Smiling, expectant faces looked up at the sound of her words and a rush of emotion crested over her. “This is great, you guys. Because you did such a great job, we’re going to go outside and play for the rest of the day. Who’s the line leader?”
“I am, Miss Taylor!” A wild arm waved from the back of the room.
“Everyone get your backpacks and line up behind Samantha. Let’s show the first and second graders how quiet we can be when we walk down the hall.”
Like good soldiers, they fell into line, their little chests puffed out with pride before they even had a chance to walk out of the door. Such a group of sweeties.
The entire class walked to the playground with nary a peep. Positive reinforcement worked wonders with the K-through-sixth set. Too bad she couldn’t have used the same tactics on a certain bad-boy rocker she knew.
As the kids raced to the playground equipment, Kayleigh strolled across the playground, enjoying the late afternoon sun. Spring was her favorite season. Everything was new and fresh and clean. Green grass, beautiful flowers. Not too hot and not too cold.
Perfect.
Her cell buzzed in her pocket and she took stock of each and every one of her little charges, making sure that they were all where they ought to be. She pulled out her phone and looked at the text message. Ryder never texted. In fact, she was surprised he even knew how to access the message screen. Attached to the text he’d pasted a link—wonders never ceased—and the sentence: You might want to watch this.
A squeal of delight grabbed her attention and Kayleigh made a precursory check, counting little heads to make sure all twenty-three little bodies were accounted for before clicking the link that took her to the E! News site and a video clip.
“Riot 59’s sexy front man is an errant baby daddy. True or False…?”
The breath caught in Kayleigh’s chest as Giuliana Rancic waited to pronounce the verdict. It would have been nice to hear the words from Luke himself, but since she hadn’t seen him in almost three weeks, the odds of being hit by lightning were better. She gripped her phone so tightly in her hand that her knuckles turned white.
“The answer is … So false.”
Kayleigh emptied her lungs of the air she’d held hostage. “Kyle! Take turns, please!”
She turned her attention from the slide back to her phone as Giuliana recapped the story.
“Luke ‘Lucifer’ Blackwell addressed alle
gations that he’d fathered a child with Minnie Ramsay, a professional dancer who’d toured with ’Round the World who’d opened on tour for Riot 59 last year. Blackwell went so far as to submit to a paternity test upon returning to L.A. in order to quiet rumors that he was running from a potential law suit.”
The screen cut to Luke talking to a group of paparazzi. “It’s true that Minnie and I dated last year, but our relationship ended a long time ago. There’s only one woman for me. There always has been. And if anyone is going to have my baby it’s going to be her.”
“Luke! Luke!” Voices off camera shouted his name. “Who is she? Who are you seeing right now?”
He turned away and strode to his car amidst a flurry of bodies and shouts. The footage ended and the camera panned back to Giuliana. “Shortly after submitting to the paternity test, Blackwell made the results public, confirming that he was not, in fact the father of Ramsay’s baby. But now we’re left to wonder … who is this mystery woman who’s won one of rock’s most eligible bachelor’s hearts?”
“Miss Taylor, are you okay?”
Kayleigh blinked back the tears that pooled in her eyes and smiled. “I’m fine, Emily. I think the busses are pulling up, you’d better go grab your backpack and get ready to go.”
Emily trotted off with a smile of her own and Kayleigh stuffed her phone in her pocket. Even if Luke wasn’t here to say the words in person, hearing them warmed her heart just the same.
“It’s true, you know. If any woman is gonna have my babies, it’s you.”
* * *
Luke tensed as he waited for Kayleigh to turn around. Showing up at school probably hadn’t been the best idea, but the thought of spending another second away from the woman he loved was unacceptable. Three weeks had been three too many. And now that he was here, within touching distance, he was overwhelmed with the need to reach out and take her into his arms.
