He was stirred from his doubts over Ryan Fisher’s concentration by his own phone ringing. He answered it quickly. He should be setting an example to his players, not flouting his own rules, but right now he had no other choice. He needed to be near a phone; he couldn’t risk messages being left with just anyone.
He listened carefully as the voice on the other end of the line spoke before finally speaking himself. ‘Not yet, no… Jesus, I thought we’d talked about this.’ He sighed, leaning forward so his forehead rested against the wall, closing his eyes as the voice continued to speak. ‘Soon, I promise… it’s just that… No. It isn’t like that, and you know it isn’t, I… Look, I’ve got to go. This is a really bad time and I’m sure you shouldn’t be… Yeah. I know. I know that.’ He turned round, leaning back against the wall, checking to make sure nobody was within earshot. ‘I’ve really got to go. We’ll talk later.’ Ending the call, he slipped the phone back into the inside pocket of his jacket and closed his eyes again, just for a second or two, as he tried to compose himself. Tried to get his focus back. Life should be great right now – he’d just married the woman of his dreams, and they were making plans for a future he’d always wanted. He just hadn’t banked on that future turning complicated. But he should have seen it coming. He should have. For once in his life Jim Allen had been naive, and now he had a very real fear that that could be his downfall.
‘Oh, that feels fabulous!’ Amber sighed as Ronnie gently massaged her shoulders during a commercial break. ‘I was so tense!’
‘Tell me about it.’ Ronnie dug his thumbs harder into the space between her shoulder blades, eliciting a small groan from Amber. ‘You’re all tight around the back of the neck. You need to learn to chill out more.’
Amber threw her head back and Ronnie stopped what he was doing, moving round in front of her, leaning back against the desk.
‘Is everything all right?’ he asked, folding his arms as he watched her rub the side of her neck.
‘I’ve got to go and see Dr. Lowry as soon as I get back to Newcastle.’ She sat up straight, looking over at the floor manager to see how long they had left before they were back live on air.
‘Test results?’ Ronnie asked, trying to read Amber’s mood. She seemed fine, and she’d been as professional as ever as she’d joined in with the banter and comments that flew around the studio during these live Soccer Specials, but underneath he knew how she’d really be feeling. She’d always been good at hiding her true emotions.
Amber said nothing as she quickly checked through the papers on the desk in front of her, making sure she was ready to go the second they were back on air.
‘Couldn’t they tell you over the phone?’ Ronnie went on, still watching her.
She looked up at him. ‘I don’t want them to tell me anything over the phone, Ronnie. It’s not news I want to have to deal with whilst I’m at work. And they didn’t say it had anything to do with test results anyway. They just said to make an appointment and come and see Dr. Lowry when I’m back in Newcastle.’
‘Do you want me to come with you?’
She frowned slightly. ‘Why would you want to do that?’
‘Because I’m your best friend and I care about you.’
She looked back over at the floor manager, who mouthed something at her and held up ten fingers. She shook out her hair, composing herself before they went live again. ‘I’ll be fine. You’d better get back in your seat, we’re on in ten.’
Ronnie resumed his position in the chair to Amber’s left, not entirely convinced she was fine about any of this, but he wasn’t going to push it. He’d known her long enough to know that was never a good idea. And as he watched her mood change in an instant the second they were back on air, shifting automatically to that of professional presenter, he knew she’d still like to think that she could handle all of this on her own, because she thought she could handle everything on her own. But if the past year had taught her anything – if it had taught Ronnie anything – it was that she couldn’t. Not really. And she didn’t have to. She’d never had to. Now all he had to do was make her realise that.
Jim shook the hand of the opposing team’s manager, smiling a smile of sheer relief as he made his way down the tunnel behind his team after a tense match that had seen Newcastle Red Star tested until the very last second of injury time, when they’d managed to snatch a fourth goal in those dying minutes that saw them finish the afternoon the winning team. But it hadn’t been easy, and Jim was under no illusion that this forthcoming season was going to be a walk in the park. He really needed to focus if he was going to make sure they kept their place at the top of the Premier League. A focus that he knew, at some point very soon, was going to be severely tested. He felt sick at the thought of what he was going to have to tell Amber, but time had ran out. She needed to know. She needed to know now. And it was nobody’s fault but his own that it had got this far.
He felt drained, almost as if he’d been playing the 90-plus minutes out there on the pitch himself, and all he wanted was to go and see Amber. All he wanted was to spend the evening with her, drinking wine and watching TV. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not tonight, anyway. He was due to fly back to the North East with the rest of the squad in an hour or so – no staying over in London for any of them; he wasn’t taking that risk – whilst she wouldn’t be returning home until tomorrow. He was beginning to hate being away from her more and more. Every second he wasn’t with her right now he was nervous that, because of the job she was in, somebody would find out, someone else would tell her what he had to tell her himself, and if that happened it could quite possibly be game over for him. No chance of extra time.
His phone rang and he reached into his inside jacket pocket to retrieve it, walking as he talked. ‘Jim Allen…’ The voice on the other end of the line made him realise the need to check the caller ID before he answered. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak to them, it was just the timing wasn’t great. And they knew that, they knew this wasn’t a good time, just as they’d known calling him before the match hadn’t been a great idea either. They knew that better than anyone. And that’s what aggravated Jim more than anything. ‘Can this wait?’ Jim lowered his voice, quickly darting into a quiet corner before any reporters could get hold of him for the required post-match interview. ‘Everything I said before… Look, I’ll be home later on this evening. Call me after nine, okay? We can talk properly… Yeah, thanks. It was a tough game. This is a tough league, but you’ll find that out for yourself soon enough.’ He quickly ended the call, looking up as he heard his name being called. There were certain things managers were required to do after a game, regardless of the mood they were in, and the post-match TV interview was one of them. So, fixing a smile on his face, he walked over to the beckoning reporter, ready to tell them whatever they wanted to hear. The Jim Allen charm was about to go into overdrive, whether he felt like turning it on or not.
Chapter Seven
‘Do you know much about Wearside Spartans’ latest signing?’ Amber asked Ronnie as she gently nudged the front door open with her shoulder. She’d felt like some company, and Ronnie didn’t seem in any hurry to go back to his empty flat, so it seemed only natural that they should end the evening together with a takeaway and a bottle of wine.
‘Brandon Palmer?’ Ronnie followed Amber into the kitchen, placing the bag of Indian food on the counter and taking a couple of plates out of the cupboard.
‘Yeah. Their new striker. Young American guy. That was a signing that came out of nowhere. Who did he play for over in the States?’
Ronnie started pulling cartons of food out of the brown paper carrier bag. ‘A team based in Brooklyn, I think. To be honest, I don’t know all that much about him. But he’s quite a talent, apparently. Do you want some of this lamb madras?’
Amber nodded, opening the fridge and taking out two bottles of lager. ‘I was talking to Steve about him earlier. Brandon Palmer, I mean. It’s a signing that’s come comp
letely out of the blue, and it seems to have taken everyone a bit by surprise. But Spartans wouldn’t just sign anyone for the hell of it. They’re aiming for a European place this season, and everyone knows they’re in desperate need of a decent striker. So they must rate him or they wouldn’t have spent all that money on him. Is he playing tomorrow do you know?’
‘Well, as far as I’m aware, he’s had the medical, and his paperwork’s through, so I can’t see Spartans not playing him if he’s available. I think the home crowd’ll give him a pretty decent North East welcome, too, don’t you? And, as it happens, I’m on the pundit panel for that match, so… Hang on, isn’t Jim going to check the new Spartans squad out? See what the local opposition has to offer this season? Why don’t you tag along with him? Get a look at their new signing for yourself?’
‘Yeah,’ Amber sighed. ‘I might just do that. I’m interested to see Brandon Palmer in action, see what all the fuss is about.’
‘He’s a bit of a looker, too, don’t you think?’ Ronnie grinned, carrying plates piled high with wonderful-smelling curry over to the dining table.
‘And he’s young enough to be my son.’ Amber smiled, sitting down and taking a swig of lager, mainly to hide the sudden jolt of – of something she couldn’t really explain. As she’d said those words, the realisation that she had a visit to Dr. Lowry scheduled for Monday morning suddenly hit her. She’d forgotten all about it. Almost.
‘Well, it’s not like you haven’t gone down the toy boy route before.’ Ronnie smirked, thankfully unaware of Amber’s brief wobble.
She couldn’t help smiling back. ‘Yeah, well, let’s not go over old ground, okay? Shut up and eat your curry. Here, have a piece of naan bread.’
Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, enjoying each other’s company without the need to speak too much. But after a lot more small talk, Amber couldn’t stop herself from asking Ronnie something she’d been wanting to ask him ever since Tenerife. She’d just never found the right time, and what better time than now, when they were relaxed and alone?
‘Ronnie, is everything okay between you and Karen?’
Ronnie put down his fork and looked at Amber. ‘Everything’s fine.’
‘Is it? Really? Only…’
He scooped up the last of his curry and ate it, looking down at his now-empty plate. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Amber.’
She said nothing for a second, finishing off her own meal before she spoke again. ‘So, there is something to talk about, then?’
He almost threw his fork down on the plate, the rattle of steel hitting china making Amber jump slightly. ‘Just… just don’t, Amber. All right?’
‘Don’t what, Ronnie? Don’t be concerned about my best friend? Don’t care about how he might be feeling? Don’t care that something might be wrong?’
Ronnie sat back in his chair and picked up his lager, taking a long swig before banging the bottle back down on the table. ‘Nothing’s wrong.’
‘Well, I think it is. Every time I ask you anything about Karen you become, well, evasive, almost. As if you don’t want to talk about her.’
‘That’s because I don’t.’
Amber stared at him, his words taking her aback slightly. She hadn’t actually expected that. ‘Why?’ Her voice was quieter now, less confrontational.
Ronnie said nothing, just threw his head back and closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. ‘I said I didn’t want to talk about it.’
Suddenly Amber noticed something she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed before. ‘You’re not wearing your wedding ring.’
He opened his eyes and sat up, looking down at his left hand. ‘No. I’m not.’
‘Why?’
‘You’re asking a lot of questions tonight.’
‘With good reason, it would appear. What’s going on, Ronnie?’
He sat forward, putting his head in his hands. ‘It’s complicated, Amber.’
‘Okay.’ She got up and went back over to the fridge, taking out a couple more bottles of lager before sitting back down at the table. ‘Looks like we’re gonna be here for a while so we might as well have another drink.’
‘Should you be indulging in too much alcohol? I thought you were trying for a baby,’ Ronnie said, twisting the cap off his second bottle.
‘Not right this second I’m not, so shut up, drink up, and tell me what’s going on.’
He took a small swig and sat back again, looking down into his bottle as he spoke. ‘Karen and I… we aren’t married anymore.’
Amber frowned, trying to take in what he was telling her. What did he mean, they weren’t married anymore? She’d seen them get married with her own eyes, just a few weeks ago. ‘I… don’t understand.’
He looked at her, his eyes meeting hers as he carried on speaking. ‘I knew it was a mistake the second I saw her standing there, in the register office. I knew it, I felt it, Amber, right there in the pit of my stomach. It was all-consuming, screaming at me to stop it from happening but I… I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough to go with my convictions, to listen to my heart because there was no…’
‘No what, Ronnie?’
He looked back down into his bottle for a few seconds. ‘I thought it was just nerves; I thought they’d disappear and that everything would be all right once the ceremony was out of the way and we were finally married again. I thought everything would just click right back into place, but I was wrong.’
‘I still don’t understand. I mean, you seemed fine on the day; you seemed to enjoy the reception… Ronnie, I don’t understand…’
‘I guess I’m better at hiding my feelings than I thought I was.’ He looked at her again. ‘Mind you, I’ve learned from the best on that score, haven’t I?’
Amber ignored that comment and took a swig of her own beer. ‘So… so what’s … ?’ She stopped talking, because she didn’t actually know what to say. She’d been expecting him to say that he and Karen had had a big row or something, that their second attempt at marriage was just going through a few teething troubles. She hadn’t expected this. ‘You said… you said you weren’t married anymore, Ronnie. What… what do you mean by that? How can you not be married anymore?’
He leaned forward, putting his bottle of lager down and resting his elbows on the table, his hands sliding round the back of his neck. ‘The marriage has been annulled, Amber. It’s over. Finished.’
Amber’s frown deepened. ‘Annulled?’ Now she was really confused. Surely it wasn’t that easy to end a marriage so quickly, just like that?
Ronnie looked at her. ‘We had this huge row on our wedding night. It was a killer, a real battle of words, and believe me, kiddo, it appeared she hadn’t really wanted to marry me again, either… Jesus, what a fucking mess…’
Amber didn’t know what to say. What could you say in a situation like this? When you didn’t really understand exactly what was going on.
‘She’s pregnant, Amber.’
Amber’s head shot up as she stared at him, every hidden, pushed-aside feeling she was trying to keep buried flooding through her at breakneck speed. ‘Pregnant?’ Even saying the word was hard.
‘It’s not my baby.’ Ronnie’s voice was quiet, resigned, almost. Sad. And that in itself made Amber sad, too.
‘Ronnie… Oh, Jesus, I’m… I don’t know what to say.’
‘There are only a handful of reasons why you can get a marriage annulled so quickly,’ Ronnie went on, his eyes back on his lager bottle, ‘… and it would appear that being pregnant with a baby that isn’t your husband’s is one of them. Otherwise I’d have been waiting for yet another divorce to come through. She’s made a right fool of me this time, Amber. And I can’t believe I let her. Again.’
Amber was speechless. She really didn’t know what to say. ‘I… why didn’t you say something, Ronnie? I’m your best friend; I would have been there for you.’
‘You’d just married Jim, and you were so happy. You were so, so happy,
Amber, and I didn’t want to throw cold water over your happiness by bothering you with my problems.’
‘Bothering me? Ronnie, Jesus, come on! What happened to my problems are your problems? It works both ways, you know.’
He got up, walking over to the kitchen window, looking out over the small back garden, which was nothing more than a decked patio area decorated with a few potted shrubs. The sun was just beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow over the cream countertops.
‘I should never have let it happen,’ Ronnie said, staring straight ahead, his hands in his pockets. Amber walked up behind him, her arms circling his waist, her chin resting on his shoulder.
‘I really thought you were happy, being back with Karen.’
‘She lied to me, Amber. She lied in the worst possible way.’ He turned round sharply, causing Amber to quickly let go of him. ‘I mean, what exactly did she think she was going to gain by lying like that? Huh?’ He leaned back against the counter, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘It’s not like you can hide a pregnancy forever, is it? What the hell was she playing at, letting things get that far?’
Amber hated seeing him like this. She wanted him to be as happy as she was, to have finally found that one person you know you’re going to grow old with. But even she had to admit that, in the back of her mind, she’d had her doubts about Ronnie and Karen getting back together. She hadn’t said anything at the time because she’d thought Ronnie was happy, and that was all that mattered. His happiness. However, if she’d had even the tiniest inkling that he’d been feeling this way she would have voiced those doubts. She would have voiced them in a heartbeat.
‘Have you talked to her? Properly, I mean,’ Amber asked, folding her arms as she watched him stare down at the ground, his hands back in his pockets.
Extra Time Page 10
