She threw him one more smile and walked away, still clutching the newspapers to her chest. Had last night really been a mistake? It wasn’t like she’d been drunk or anything, she’d been fully aware of everything she’d done. And there’d been plenty of chances for her to walk away, to leave it alone before it had got as far as it had.
They’d slept together, but there’d been no sex. All they’d done was hold each other. But that didn’t make it okay, it didn’t make her feel any less guilty, because it was a situation she should have controlled. She’d handled everything like a child rather than the grown-up she was supposed to be, but, for some reason, nothing felt right anymore. Nothing.
Her phone ringing knocked her back to reality and she stopped walking to answer it, leaning back beside the huge double doors that led into the Cloud Sports News studio. ‘Amber Allen.’
‘This can’t go on, Amber.’
She closed her eyes, the sound of his voice both calming her and making her feel incredibly sad, all at the same time. ‘I know,’ she whispered.
‘I never promised you our life would be perfect…’
‘You never promised me anything, Jim.’
‘Because you won’t let me.’
She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling, the noise coming from inside the studio telling her that this really wasn’t the time or the place to be having this conversation. ‘I’m sorry.’ Her voice was quiet, waves of guilt washing over her as she remembered last night, remembered Ronnie touching her, kissing her, and more waves of guilt hit as she felt her stomach flip involuntarily. For what reason? Because she was talking to the one man who would always be there in her life, whether she liked it or not? Or because of what had happened last night?
‘You have got nothing to be sorry for, baby. Nothing.’
Hadn’t she? How had her life got so complicated all of a sudden?
‘I just needed to hear your voice, Amber. I miss you.’
She felt tears start to prick the back of her eyes, which was the last thing she needed. She had work to do, a long day ahead, and she didn’t want to be falling apart in front of her colleagues. She wasn’t some weak, needy woman, she was Amber Sullivan – strong, feisty and ambitious. Except, she wasn’t, was she? Not anymore. Now she was Amber Allen – weak, tired, and confused. And she couldn’t allow that person to take over.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes again as she composed herself, willing the woman she’d used to be back to the surface. Because she needed her now more than ever.
‘I’ve got to go, Jim. I’m really busy…’
‘Did you know Ryan Fisher’s put in a loan request?’
That almost stopped her in her tracks and her eyes sprang open, her heart starting to beat faster all of a sudden. ‘Why would I know anything about that?’
‘I dunno. You tell me.’
She walked away from the studio doors, sensing the change in his tone. ‘Are you accusing me of something here, Jim?’
‘Like I said, I don’t know, Amber. All I know is that you upped and left without us having any time to talk about things – things we really need to talk about – and the next thing I know I’ve got your ex walking into my office asking for a loan request because he claims he’s still in love with you.’
‘What?’ She stopped walking, sitting down on a sofa in a quiet alcove. Her head was starting to spin. What the hell was going on now? ‘I… Did he actually say that? Or are you just assuming… are you…? I mean, there could be other reasons why…’
‘Oh, come on, Amber. What other reasons could there possibly be? You know as well as I do how he still feels about you. Have you seen him lately?’
‘Of course I haven’t. Why would I have seen him?’
‘You’re down there, miles away from me, and for all I know he could have…’
‘Could have what, Jim? What could he have done?’
There was silence for a few seconds as any sign of those tears that had been threatening before disappeared, to be replaced by something very close to anger.
‘Has he been to see you? In London?’
‘You’re just being ridiculous now. When has he had time to come and see me? You’ve got them training all hours of the day…’
‘He’s had plenty of time, Amber.’
She said nothing, just let his words and his accusations sink in. In one breath he was telling her he missed her, and in the next he was accusing her of seeing Ryan behind his back. How wrong could he be? She felt another wave of guilt wash back over her as memories of Ronnie’s fingers stroking her skin, his lips on the back of her neck, flooded her brain. None of this was right. None of it. It was so fucked-up it was unbelievable.
‘I don’t believe you,’ she hissed, hanging up on him before he had a chance to say anything else. Is that what he really thought she was doing while she was down here? That she was seeing Ryan behind his back? That he could think she’d even contemplate going back there again made her feel both sick and sad. If Ryan Fisher really did want to leave Newcastle Red Star then it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know he still felt that way about her. Did she?
Picking up her phone again, she scrolled down her contact list and pressed dial, sitting back against the sofa cushions as she waited for the recipient of her call to answer.
‘Hey, Amber. Have you heard about Ryan?’
‘I’m not here to talk about Ryan, Max.’
‘But you’ve heard, haven’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘I’ve heard. Look, do you want to hear what I’ve got to say or not?’
‘Fire away. I’m all ears.’
‘The Ice Magazine shoot – I’ll do it.’
Jim threw the phone down and dropped his head into his hands. Why the hell had he done that? He’d all but accused her of seeing Ryan behind his back when that was probably the last thing she’d been doing. And he was almost certain Ryan hadn’t left the North East all week. Taking his own frustrations out on those closest to him wasn’t a personality trait Jim was proud of, but right now it was coming to the fore much more than he was comfortable with.
He needed Amber back home. He needed to see her, to talk to her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay. He’d make sure of that. He just had no idea how right now. But knowing Ryan Fisher still felt that way about his wife – well, it had hit a nerve.
Pushing both hands through his hair, he sat back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh as he stared up at the ceiling. Maybe moving Ryan Fisher out of the picture for a while wasn’t such a bad idea, although it was an idea he was going to have to be able to sell pretty hard if the club were going to go for it. But if it meant one less problem in his life, he was willing to put his job on the line to give Ryan what he wanted. Because the one thing he wasn’t willing to lose was Amber.
Chapter Fourteen
‘You know, I’m your agent for a reason,’ Max said, watching Ryan as he paced up and down the floor of his riverside apartment, hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his battered jeans. ‘And that means you’re supposed to come to me before you make any stupid, rash decisions. It’s my job to nip them in the bud before they get out of hand.’
Ryan stopped pacing and looked at Max. ‘I’m serious, Max. That wasn’t some idle threat I made last week, I didn’t just go in there to make some kind of statement. I want to be loaned out. I need to get away, just for a bit.’
‘Really?’ Max raised an eyebrow, watching Ryan’s expression. Not a glimmer of anything. What was up with this kid? Usually he could read him like a book but lately it would seem the pages weren’t giving all that much away.
‘Really. I can’t hack it here anymore, Max.’
‘Of course you can. Look at what you faced last year, and you came through all of that.’
‘That was different.’
‘Was it? That was a damn sight harder than anything you’re professing to be unable to face now, son. This is nothing. You just need to pull yourself together
, concentrate on your football and put women to the back of your mind. I’ll get in touch with Jim and tell him you didn’t mean what you said. I’ll tell him you had a small crisis of confidence or something…’
‘But I did mean it, Max. I meant every word. I want out. Just give me the rest of the season away from here, and I’ll be fine.’
‘You think? You think that’ll solve anything, do you? A bit of time away from her will change everything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you need to grow up. I’ll be telling Jim to forget any more loan requests you might continue to throw at him, because you aren’t going anywhere, Ryan. You’re going to stay here and learn how to face up to things like an adult. Jesus, we’re talking about a woman, for Christ’s sake! Just move on, forget about her.’
‘How can I do that when she’s fucking everywhere, Max? How can I do that?’
‘By realising what’s important in your life. And right now your job is the most important thing. Remember that, and make sure you keep remembering that, because carry on the way you are right now and you won’t fucking have one. I know Jim Allen, I know how powerful he can be in the football world, and you really, really don’t want to piss him off. He could end your career like that, Ryan. Just like that. So be very careful.’
‘He can’t threaten me, Max. He has to work within the rules…’
‘Jesus, Ryan, how long have you been doing this? What rules? People make their own rules, they find ways to make them look legitimate, and no matter how great a player you are, no matter how much fucking money you earn, you will not win against a man like Jim Allen.’
‘A man who didn’t even know his own son was signing to a club just nine miles down the road from his own? He’s that powerful, is he?’
‘Oh, he knew Brandon was coming, Ryan, believe me. He knew.’
‘So why…?’
‘Not your business.’
Ryan narrowed his eyes as he stared at his agent. ‘Do you…?’
‘Be careful, Ryan. That’s all I’m saying.’
‘I want out, Max. You’re the best agent there is, so if anyone can help me…’
‘You’re going nowhere. I’ll go and see Jim, sort this mess out, and you – you can start dealing with things like a grown-up. You can’t afford to mess things up a third time, Ryan. You’ve had your second chance. There’s no extra time left on the clock now, kiddo.’
‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’
Jim looked up from his laptop, and just the sight of her, standing there, it took his breath away. It had been a week since he’d last seen her, a week since she’d walked out on him, and to see her there in front of him, he hardly dared believe she was back.
‘I thought you were mad at me. I mean, the last time we spoke you seemed… Look, I’m sorry. What I said about Ryan, what I insinuated…’
She shrugged, throwing her bag down on the sofa next to his office door. ‘It doesn’t matter. Not right now, anyway.’
He frowned slightly, watching as she started to untie the thin, wrap-over coat she was wearing. ‘Not right now…?’
‘I’m still mad at you, Jim. I’m still confused and I’m still angry; a week away hasn’t eased much of that, believe me. But, right now…’ She finally opened her coat, letting it drop to the floor, and as Jim watched it fall his stomach dipped so low it felt as though it was on some kind of crazy rollercoaster ride. She was naked – completely and totally naked – except for a pair of knee-high, spike-heeled boots. ‘I just really need you to fuck me.’
He stood up, not taking his eyes off her, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck as he walked over to her. ‘Jesus, Amber. You sure know how to make an entrance, honey.’
‘Being mad at you became something of a turn-on,’ she whispered, her eyes locking with his as he finally reached her. ‘It was all I could think of, on the flight home. Seeing you, wanting you… And I know we should be sitting down and talking, I know that. But talking is probably going to mean we end up fighting and I don’t want that. Right now, I just want you to fuck me.’
‘You’re not giving me much of a choice, are you?’
She smiled, reaching out to touch his mouth, her fingers trailing along the stubble on his chin. ‘Everyone’s busy outside. Colin’s got training well under control, and I’ve told your secretary you’re not to be disturbed while I’m here, because I think you deserve something special after taking Newcastle Red Star to the top of the league table over the weekend. You’ve done very well, Mr. Allen. Very, very well. You should be congratulated.’
‘Amber…’
‘No. No talking. Like I said, talking is only going to end up in a fight, believe me.’
‘You’re still that mad at me, huh?’
‘Oh yes.’
He threw his head back, groaning slightly as she reached down to touch his growing erection, her hand already closing in around him.
‘So enjoy yourself while you can, before I start yelling at you.’
‘You’re gonna yell at me?’
‘More than likely.’ She smiled, pressing her body against his, feeling his hard-on digging into her hip, his hand now resting in the small of her back. ‘But I can’t yell at you if you’re kissing me, can I?’
‘No. No, you can’t.’
She closed her eyes as his mouth finally lowered down onto hers, the taste of him overwhelming her. Because, despite everything, she’d missed him. So much. But at the same time she knew she couldn’t just let things go back to normal – how could they be normal? She was still dealing with his secret son and the revelation that she would probably never have children of her own. All of that meant things couldn’t be normal, not yet, anyway.
‘I need you inside me,’ she whispered. ‘Now.’
‘Can’t I just look at you first, baby? I feel as though you’ve been away from me for so long and I…’
In one swift movement she’d pushed him down onto the sofa, climbing astride him like the woman on a mission she was.
‘You’re not hanging about, are you?’ He grinned, slightly taken aback by her behaviour, but he wasn’t going to put up a fight. Not when he needed her so badly.
‘I’m too turned on to hang about, Jim.’
‘Yeah.’ His eyes looked down to where she was straddling him, his hand automatically reaching out to touch her. She was so wet it almost made him come there and then. ‘I can see that.’
‘So make use of it,’ she whispered, throwing him a smile before leaning over to kiss him, deep and slow, positioning herself over him so he slid effortlessly inside her. ‘It’s just like old times, isn’t it?’ She smiled again, alluding to the many encounters they’d shared in his offices at both Tynebridge and here at the training ground. The times they’d had sex on his desk, or when he’d pushed her up against the door to stop anyone from coming in while he fucked her hard and fast. Those spontaneous, sexually-charged encounters that had made her realise she could never leave this man alone.
‘Oh, baby…’ he groaned, pushing her down onto him, his hands firmly on her hips, keeping her in place because she was so wet he felt as though he was going to slip out at any given second. And he wasn’t ready to do that just yet. But it didn’t take long for the endgame to arrive, a crashing conclusion that she helped herself reach by touching herself, which only served to drive him even more crazy. Watching her fingers bring herself to climax was almost hypnotic, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she arched her back, pushing her breasts out, crying out loud as he came first, so fast it made his head spin, but he was unable to slow down an action that seemed to drain him of anything he had left to give – both in the physical and emotional sense.
‘That…’ Amber smiled, leaning forward, her hands on his chest, ‘… was good. That was very, very good.’
‘Glad to have been of service,’ Jim breathed, his heart beating so fast he thought he might pass out. When he’d got up this morning and headed over to the training ground, he cer
tainly hadn’t expected this to be part of his schedule.
She climbed off him, and still he kept his eyes on her, watching as she leaned over to retrieve her bag from the sofa beside him. She was totally unashamed of her body, and he could see why. Over the past few months she’d toned up, her waist had become smaller, her thighs harder, but she still had those ridiculously sexy rounded hips, and breasts he could happily stare at forever.
‘Have you been home yet?’ he asked, sitting up, his heart finally beginning to slow down a touch.
‘I dropped my case off, got changed…’ She looked at him and he had to smile, pushing a hand through his hair, ‘… then I came straight here.’
He felt almost disappointed as she began pulling clothes from her bag, slipping a short black dress on over her naked body, shaking out her hair, something he found incredibly sexy to watch. He found her incredibly sexy. His beautiful, beautiful wife.
‘Well, I’m glad you did. Amber…’
She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail. ‘We’ll talk later. Back at home. Okay?’
He frowned, standing up and walking over to her. He was still reeling from what had just happened, yet she seemed to have turned the temperature from hot to decidedly cool.
‘You’re leaving?’
‘You’ve got work to do.’
‘I haven’t seen you for almost seven days, Amber. I mean, come on, honey, do you actually remember what happened this time last week?’
She stared at him, right into those green eyes of his. Eyes she wasn’t entirely sure she trusted anymore. If she ever had done. ‘I can’t believe you even thought about asking that question, Jim.’
‘Jesus… Amber! Baby, come on…’
But she was out of the room before he had a chance to say anything else, striding through the outer office that led off from Jim’s, aware that his secretary was watching her – trying to put two and two together, probably. Once word of their relationship had hit the headlines a few months ago it had become common knowledge that they’d shared more than just coffees and cosy chats behind the closed doors of his offices, so it was only natural that people would assume something which was, in all honesty, more than likely pretty close to the truth. And she had told her not to disturb Jim while she was in there with him. What were people supposed to think?
Extra Time Page 22
