Personally, Ant thought Harry should take a leaf out of Peter’s book. He seemed to have got things completely sussed. Nicola seemed happy pottering around at home and Peter seemed to do exactly what he liked. Ant suspected he would have happily stayed out all afternoon, had Harry not insisted they get back. Peter had been far more relaxed about things. ‘Nicola won’t mind,’ he’d said. Ant was overcome with admiration. What a man. And Nicola really hadn’t seemed to mind, rustling up sandwiches when they got back without a murmur, despite the fact the girls had eaten in town. And now producing another delicious meal. She must spend her whole life in the kitchen, but she seemed quite content. If you had to get married, the answer was clearly to marry someone like Nicola, Ant thought. Yup, Peter had it sorted; he got to do what he liked, when he liked, and had a pretty appreciative wife when he came home. If Ant did ever settle down, he was going to have that kind of marriage.
‘Everything okay now?’ he whispered, as Josie came to sit down.
‘Yes, thanks, Ant,’ she glanced fondly over at Harry, and squeezed Ant’s shoulder in thanks as she sat down. Ant grinned. Project win over Josie was underway. Now if he could get this hypnotist thing to work and have Diana fall for him again as a laugh, his cup of happiness would be complete. It might even have been worthwhile, his coming for the weekend …
Josie was feeling much better as they sat down to dinner. Mum had produced yet another fantastic meal – braised lamb and onion stew, with new potatoes and asparagus from the garden, followed by raspberry cheesecake and steaming apple pie. She could tell Harry was in heaven. He loved her mum’s apple pie. She wondered if that was what had won Nicola around.
‘I thought you could have done better than a journalist,’ had been her mum’s plaintive complaint when she’d first been introduced to Harry, but she softened when Harry had used all his natural charm on her, including helping her with the washing up; something Dad never did.
‘So what’s the plan for the evening then?’ said Diana as they passed the pudding around.
‘I thought a stroll to the Lover’s Rest might be in order,’ said Ant. ‘Unless Harry’s still recovering from his hangover. Freddie Puck said he might be in again.’
‘You’re not still thinking about that stupid programme, are you?’
‘Why not? At least let’s find out more about it,’ said Ant. ‘It might be a laugh. We can earn some dosh and we’d be on the telly.’
‘Sounds ridiculous,’ sniffed Peter.
‘Is it dangerous?’ said Nicola. ‘You do hear such funny things.’
‘I don’t think so,’ said Ant. ‘Otherwise they’d never get anyone to do it.’
‘I still think it sounds silly,’ said Josie.
‘I don’t know,’ piped up Harry. ‘It could be fun.’
‘I bet it won’t work.’ Diana looked levelly at Ant when she said this.
‘What? Frightened you’ll fall for me?’ said Ant.
‘Frightened I won’t?’ shot back Di.
‘Children, children,’ said Nicola. ‘Go on, off to the pub with you. I’ll clear up here.’
‘No, Mum, you won’t,’ said Josie firmly. ‘You’ve been running round after us all day.’
‘Yes, let me help, Nicola,’ said Diana, jumping up.
Harry sat where he was, until Josie nudged him.
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Here, let me. Sit down, Josie.’
He took the plates out of Josie’s hands and followed Nicola and Diana into the kitchen.
Peter and Ant had no such qualms and much as she loved her dad, Josie felt like thumping him. That was never ever going to happen to her.
Harry smiled at her as he went out, a secret, shared smile that warmed her to her core. He was hers, not Ant’s, and for the first time all weekend, Josie felt herself relax.
1988: Tatiana
Tatiana held the phone as she rifled through her Filofax, wondering if she should really go ahead with it. God, how many numbers did she have for him? Bron seemed to have moved around such a lot since she’d left him, never staying in one place or with one woman for very long.
Aha! Here was the latest number. She felt shaky, this might be a big mistake, but she didn’t want to do this without hearing his voice; without, she could admit now, having his blessing.
She’d waited till she was completely alone in her hotel room, having dismissed everyone, even her mum, saying she wanted a lie down before dinner. When really she wanted this. One last chance to hear his voice.
‘Darling, how are you?’ Tatiana hadn’t been sure of the reception she’d get. Hell, she wasn’t even sure till the last minute she was going to dial his number. She’d had to down nearly a bottle of wine to have the confidence to ring him. And when he answered the phone, her knees sagged, and she thought she might faint. His voice resonated on the other end of the phone. So near, and yet so far. How could he still have this power over her? After all this time, it didn’t seem possible.
Help, I think I’m drowning, is what she wanted to say. Save me. She was shouting inside.
This was stupid. Why was she ringing Bron of all people? As if he’d be interested in her now.
Instead, she said, ‘I’m getting married tomorrow.’
There was a pause, and then, ‘I know, I read it in the papers.’
Below the belt, but fair point. They hadn’t spoken to each other in months.
‘Sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you.’
‘Tati, my darling, it is of no consequence to me,’ his voice was light, ironic, wounding. ‘We’re both grown-ups and we’ve moved on. I’m thinking of settling down myself. Time we both did, don’t you think?’
Tatiana felt a punch in the stomach. He didn’t care any more. She’d been idiotic to phone. She was getting married in the morning. What on earth had she expected? Auberon to come riding along on his white charger and rescue her at the last minute? And rescue her from what? She and Simon were in love, and were going to live happily ever after. The tabloids told her so daily. It must be true.
‘Oh,’ she squeaked. ‘Good for you.’
Inside, she felt herself die a little. That chapter of her life was finally over. Bron was closing the door. And it was all her own fault. She let out a half sob, but suppressed it, hoping he hadn’t heard.
There was a pregnant pause.
‘Tati, is everything all right?’ It was the old Bron, the one she fell in love with, all touching concern.
He’s only being nice, she reminded herself, it’s what he does.
‘Of course it is,’ said Tatiana brightly. ‘I’m a marrying a wonderful man tomorrow. I suppose … I just wanted your blessing.’
No, no, she screamed inside, I want you to stop me. I want you to come over here and tell me you can’t live without me.
‘You have it, always,’ Bron said. ‘Good luck, darling. Be happy.’
‘You too,’ she whispered. ‘You too.’
She put down the phone, blinked the tears back from her eyes. He was never coming back to her. Finally, it was over. Time for her to move on.
Be happy. If only it were that simple.
Part Two
Ill Met by Moonlight
‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind.’
A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act I, Scene 1
‘It’s not a trick. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I make suggestions. Some people are more susceptible than others, that’s all.’
Freddie Puck: The Art of Illusion
Chapter Ten
It was another warm, balmy evening as they walked down to the pub. Everyone was feeling pleasantly mellow and relaxed. Diana, in a post-meal, alcoholic-infused warm glow, was feeling a little more positive about her future – she had a lot of experience, she was still young, something would turn up – and even more kindly towards Ant, keeping up a steady banter about how easy it was going to be for Freddie Puck to dupe him
.
‘You’re already half in love with the guy,’ she teased, ‘if he hypnotises you, you’ll do anything he says.’
‘I am not, as you put it, in love with him,’ said Ant, prickling a little, ‘I just respect his abilities, that’s all.’
‘It was a joke,’ said Di, touching him lightly on the shoulder. ‘I’m a real sucker for this kind of thing, so he’ll probably persuade me more.’
‘Do we really want to do this?’ said Josie, as they sat down with their drinks in the pub. She scanned the pub, looking to see if Freddie had turned up yet. ‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea.’
‘Oh go on, Josie, it might be a laugh,’ said Diana. ‘Haven’t you always wanted to be on TV?’
‘Not especially,’ said Josie. ‘Besides, Harry and I are already in love, so what can a hypnotic experiment do?’
‘Ah, but he hasn’t plighted his troth to you at the Standing Stones, has he?’ said Ant. ‘Perhaps hypnosis will bring out his romantic side.’
‘I thought Harry had been showing Josie his romantic side all afternoon,’ said Diana.
Josie and Harry blushed, and even Ant laughed at the joke.
‘You people all seem to be having fun.’ Freddie Puck appeared as if by magic. ‘May I buy you all a drink?’
‘Ha, that’s how hypnotism works is it?’ snorted Diana. ‘Get us all plastered and then we’ll do what you suggest? Not really rocket science is it?’
‘Oh ye of little faith,’ said Freddie, with a hurt look on his face. ‘Let me show you what I can do. If you come to Tresgothen Manor tomorrow, I can take you through it properly. But I could do a simple demonstration here, tonight, if you’d like.’
‘Like what?’ Josie still seemed suspicious.
‘I could hypnotise someone else, so you can see how straightforward it is.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ said Diana. She was sipping an elderflower wine, a local brew known as Love in the Mist. It was stronger than it looked and on top of the wine she’d had at dinner, was making her feel a bit giddy. ‘Do I have to sign anything?’
‘Disclaimers at the ready,’ said Freddie with a wolfish smile.
‘No, seriously,’ said Diana, ‘I do like to know what I’m getting into. Do you have a contract or anything?’
‘Bron’s sorting out the finer detail, and we can go through it properly tomorrow,’ said Freddie, ‘but here’s a basic version. Honestly, I have been doing this for a long time, I am properly licensed. You really have nothing to worry about. And you can put an end to the experiment at any time. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. You don’t have to go through with it, if you change your mind.’
Reading through the disclaimers Freddie had given her, Diana felt a bit better. There didn’t seem anything too horrendous there, and the few hundred quid on offer was enough to put aside her qualms. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.
‘Right, gather round folks.’ Ever the showman, Freddie had worked the crowd in the pub, and they were all gathering round a chair in the middle of the room, where his victim was waiting.
Harry pushed forward and nearly burst out laughing when he realised that Freddie’s first punter was Mike Slowbotham.
‘Am I okay here?’ Mike was saying. He looked simultaneously nervous and proud. See, he appeared to be saying, the great Freddie Puck has chosen me to be his first subject. It was all Harry could do not to giggle out loud. Little did Mike know how little the locals were impressed with him.
‘You’re fine,’ said Freddie. ‘Now I want you to take a deep breath, while I count you down.’
‘Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, you’re under,’ said Mike, in a very poor attempt at a Little Britain impression.
‘It’s not quite like that,’ said Freddie. ‘Just try and relax and think soothing thoughts. Imagine you’re climbing down a spiral staircase, and at the bottom, something really pleasant and lovely is waiting for you.’
Harry watched in fascination as Freddie put Mike under. He didn’t seem to be asleep, although he had shut his eyes. In actual fact, it seemed like no big deal. All Freddie suggested was that when he awoke Mike would think he was a donkey, until Freddie clicked his fingers. It didn’t seem like a lot. Just a bit of light entertainment. Much like he’d used to do in his TV shows.
‘Do you think it will work?’ said Diana, equally fascinated.
‘I guess the proof will be in the pudding,’ said Harry. ‘Shh, watch.’
Freddie was bringing Mike round. ‘… and three, two, one – you’re awake.’
‘Eee ore,’ said Mike, promptly going down on all fours, much to the amusement of the pub at large.
He put his hands above his head to make ear shapes and said ‘Eee ore,’ again, more loudly this time, making the place erupt.
‘Do you think he fancies a carrot?’ shouted a wag.
Mike eee-ored enthusiastically, and one of the bar staff fetched one from the kitchen, which Freddie fed to him while patting him on the head, saying ‘Good donkey.’
‘I’m not sure I like this,’ said Josie uneasily. ‘Freddie could do anything to us when we’re asleep.’
‘It’s only a bit of fun,’ said Harry. ‘Freddie, you wouldn’t do anything like that to us, would you, right?’
‘Of course not,’ said Freddie, ‘I’m just showing how easy it is to hypnotise someone. I promise I won’t make you look silly.’
Josie still looked unconvinced, but Harry gave her a hug and said, ‘You worry too much. I’m sure it will be fine.’
He sipped another sip of Idle Brew. God this stuff was good. His hangover had completely cleared and he felt up for an adventure. This hypnotism lark didn’t look too onerous and – who knew? – it might even be fun.
Josie was still feeling uncomfortable about the whole hypnosis thing. She’d watched Freddie put Mike under, which she had to admit had been quite a mesmerising experience in itself. But while the atmosphere was joshing and light-hearted, Josie didn’t like the fact that Mike didn’t realise he was being made a figure of fun. Granted the guy was self-delusional – he’d promised more than one woman over a certain age in the village fame and fortune – but this seemed cruel. And maybe a little dangerous.
Josie wasn’t the only one who was having doubts.
‘What the hell’s going on here?’ Tatiana Okeby arrived and her retinue; camp M’stard, willowy little Ariadne, and fussy Gypsy, tumbled in after her.
‘I’m conducting a little experiment, and I’ve hypnotised Mike here to think he’s a donkey.’
‘You’re making a laughing stock of the poor man.’
‘Eee ore,’ said Mike and the pub erupted.
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘What’s right with it?’ Tatiana was furious. ‘This is typical of you, Freddie. You always have to make people look foolish, don’t you? And as for you, Bron, isn’t it about time you stopped putting up with all this crap? I despair, I really do.’
‘What would you have me do?’ said Freddie, shrugging his shoulders to his audience as if to say, look what I have to contend with. ‘Be reasonable. Mike here consented to be hypnotised –’
‘The man is a well-respected member of this community, and you are making a mockery of him,’ said Tatiana, oblivious to the sniggers in the audience. ‘Go on, snap him out of it.’
‘You are such a spoilsport, Tati,’ sighed Freddie, ‘but if you insist. Three, two, one and you’re awake.’
Mike came round, looking a little confused.
‘I was dreaming I was a donkey,’ he said, ‘and how come I’m holding a carrot?’
‘This idiot played a rotten trick on you,’ said Tatiana. ‘I think he should apologise.’
‘Oh, no need, no need, all in the spirit of the thing.’ Mike took her hand earnestly and planted a kiss on it, ‘but thank you dear lady, for thinking of me in my hour of need.’
‘See, no problem,’ said Freddie. ‘All a bit of harmless fun. I was just demonstrating what I c
ould do to these lovely people who are going to join in an experiment with me tomorrow. You could come along too if you want.’
Josie looked anxiously at the others; she was even less sure now than she’d been at the beginning.
‘Over my dead body,’ said Tatiana. ‘I wouldn’t trust you with a bargepole. Come on, everyone, party’s over. Let’s get back to the yurt.’
With that, she swept out, leaving Freddie smirking in the corner.
‘So is that how it works?’ said Josie. ‘You make us look idiots? I can’t speak for the others, but I’m really not up for that.’
‘No, no, no,’ said Freddie. ‘That was my little joke. Mike understands, don’t you? And if he’s prepared to have another go, I’ll show you that there really is nothing to worry about.’
‘I’d be delighted old boy,’ said Mike, preening himself. It didn’t look as though he’d been harmed by his encounter. Maybe she was worrying over nothing.
‘All right, Mike, now let’s try and relax you once more …’
Ant came back from the bar with another round of drinks, as Mike slipped under again. This time he was snoring really loudly. Ant couldn’t see what Tatiana was making a fuss about. The guy was a prize idiot. He could make himself look like an ass without Freddie’s help.
‘I think we could have a bit more fun with this,’ he said to Auberon Fanshawe, who was sitting nearby looking sardonically amused by it all. ‘Just to stir things up a bit for Tati.’
‘Go for it,’ said Auberon. ‘She deserves everything she gets in my opinion.’
Ouch. Still no love lost there then. Their fiery relationship had clearly not been exaggerated in the press. Bron made Ant feel he was being positively charitable to Di.
Freddie turned to the still-snoring Mike and said very solemnly, ‘When you awake you will be convinced that you are a famous London producer with lots of connections to the stage, and you can bring a certain famous actress back into the fold. Tatiana Okeby is going to be the key to your golden future. Three, two, one … now you are awake.’
Midsummer Magic Page 11
