by J. S. Scott
“Are you ready to tell me about the asshole who made you run away from me?” It was a question, but Max made it sound more like a demand. “Travis told me the facts. What I want to know is how you felt about him.”
Mia wasn’t even sure how to explain, but for Max, she’d try. “He didn’t start out the way he turned out to be. He was charming, paid attention to me. The controlling behavior started later, a few months after we started dating. The sad part was, it really wasn’t all that surprising. It was what I grew up with. He was a lot like my father. I wasn’t very strong, Max. I fell into the cycle of abuse. He would apologize and promise never to do it again. But he did. I wanted out, but I guess I wasn’t strong enough to fight my way free of him.”
“Friends?” Max queried quietly.
“No. Looking back, he managed to slowly, methodically isolate me. I had made friends at school, but he didn’t let me hang out with them anymore,” she replied regretfully. “I was so relieved when he went to prison. I thought it was over. I left Virginia after school and came back to Florida, hoping to start over again, be smarter.”
“Sweetheart, you’re brilliant and creative. You were shaped by your past and you were just a kid. Don’t blame yourself,” Max insisted, running a soothing hand up and down her back. “He came back after he was released from prison, threatened me and your brothers, was ready to blow my brains out? How did you keep him from picking me off? From what I understand, he could have easily made the shot and was crazy enough to do it.”
“He was much worse than before,” Mia admitted. “He blamed me for everything and was completely delusional. He thought I really wanted to be with him, and he was willing to do anything to get what he wanted. I knew he’d do it.” No more secrets. No more secrets. “I was unfaithful to you, Max. I’m so sorry.” It was the most painful statement she’d ever made, but Max wanted honesty and she needed to tell him the truth.
Max released her, standing up to walk to the fireplace. Bracing his arms against the stone mantel, his head turned away from her, every muscle in his body appeared to tense. Mia held her breath as she watched his profile. He was almost motionless, the only visible movement the rise and fall of his chest as the breath sawed in and out of his lungs unevenly.
Mia’s future hung in the balance as she watched him, waiting to see if he would look at her with revulsion, scorn her love for him now. But they needed complete honesty between them, and it was something he deserved to know. She wasn’t the same, frightened woman anymore. However, it hadn’t made telling him any easier. The changes she’d made in herself just made it possible for her to tell him.
“The bastard raped you, didn’t he? He should have gone back to jail.” Max turned back to her, his arms dropping to his side, his face filled with rage, his fists clenching and releasing. “Death is too good for a bastard like him.”
Mia could feel Max’s entire body vibrating with anger, but she realized that he wasn’t angry with her. She held out her arms to him, and Max strode toward her, scooping her off the sofa and settling down with her on his lap, his arms tight around her. He hated Danny. And he trusted her, knew she hadn’t betrayed him willingly.
“He violated me. He didn’t rape me. He wanted me to suck him off...and I did. You were almost on the plane. You just needed a few more minutes. I didn’t care, Max. I would have done anything he wanted right at the moment, as long as he didn’t hurt you,” she told him desperately.
“Fuck! I would rather the bastard had killed me than to force you to do that…” Max’s voice trailed off, his face blanching, his expression slowly changing to one of realization. “The night you recovered your memory, in the shower…?”
“I still have nightmares about him. I was dreaming about it, and I woke up with my memory returning. I wanted to replace the bad memories with good ones. And I did,” she confessed.
“Shit. That had to be hard. You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to. I wanted to so very badly. And it was hard. But it wasn’t difficult,” she said with a tremulous smile, trying to dispel some of the remorse she could see on his handsome face. “I’ve always wanted to, but you never seemed to want that, so I stopped trying.”
“Oh, baby…I wanted it. I wanted your sweet mouth on me so badly that I knew if it happened, I wouldn’t be able to stay controlled,” Max told her bluntly.
“It was good,” she told him with a tiny smile. “It will keep the nightmares away.”
“I’ll keep the nightmares away. You’ll never have bad dreams again. I’ll replace every moment of sorrow you’ve had with happiness. I swear I will,” he said fiercely, though his expression lightened.
Mia doubted that Max could force the Sandman to make all of her dreams good ones, but looking at his display of savage determination, she almost believed he could. And she certainly knew he’d try like hell to do it, even if he had to drag the fabled creature of folklore to their bedside every night to sprinkle magic sand in her eyes. Lifting her arms around his neck, she murmured, “Just love me like this forever. It’s enough.”
“I’ll never stop,” he agreed, the tension starting to leave his body. “Just promise me you won’t ever try to protect me again. Not at your own expense. I would have rather died than to let him lay a finger on you,” he growled.
Mia’s eyes filled with tears, the sincerity of Max’s statement, a re-avowal of what he’d said earlier, hitting her like a slug to the stomach.
My husband would die for me, just to avoid seeing me hurt.
Knowing she loved him just the same, she answered carefully. “I’m not sure I can make that promise. It wouldn’t have saved me, Max. Danny still would have hurt me that day. But it saved you.”
He brushed away her concern. “Promise,” he insisted.
“No,” she refused. “I can’t. Could you make the same promise? You said no more lies, and I won’t lie to you. I’d protect you if I could.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll just make damn sure you’re never in a position where you have to make that decision again. And no more running.”
She shook her head. “No more running,” she agreed.
“If you need to run, I’m going with you,” he announced adamantly. “If you had told me you needed to disappear, I would have arranged it…for both of us.”
“But your career, your business—”
“Don’t mean a damn thing without you. Do you think I’d give a flying fuck about money or anything else if you were in danger? I’d disappear with you, be presumed dead along with you to protect you and your brothers without hesitation.” His body tense once again, he shot her a laser-sharp, exasperated look.
Mia sighed, shooting him back an apologetic expression. “I’ve been through over two years of counseling, and it’s still hard to believe someone can love me like you do,” she confessed. “I’ve come a long way, but I’ll have my insecure moments,” she warned him. “I’ll still find it hard to absorb that it’s finally over. That we’re all safe now.” It was hard to comprehend the fact that Max would drop everything in his life for her. Sure, she’d learned to value herself, accept herself the way that she was by working things out with a good counselor, but accepting Max’s love was the hardest thing she’d ever done. What had she ever done in this life to deserve him?
“Take all the time you need, baby. I’ll convince you eventually,” he uttered quietly, his eyes unrelenting as they connected with hers, the love shimmering and flowing white-hot between the two of them, making Mia’s pulse hammer.
Stroking his hair, she told him, “You’re amazing, Max Hamilton.”
“Did you think so when I was smacking your ass?” he asked with a wicked look.
“Yes. It made me want to be naughty all over again,” she answered truthfully.
“Sweetheart, I want you to let me know if I ever scare you, or push your boundaries,” he warned her dang
erously. “My control when it comes to you isn’t exactly reliable.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Max. And I never could be. I know you’d never hurt me. You make me feel safe.” Mia knew she’d never be frightened of Max, no matter how hard he pushed her with his bossiness. The man was an incredible mixture of arrogance and vulnerability, dominance and tenderness, and it fascinated the hell out of her. But she’d never be nervous about any of those qualities. Every part of Max turned her on. He wanted to protect her, and he’d give his life for her. She could never be afraid of that kind of love.
“You’re safe now, and I’m going to make damn sure you stay that way,” he grunted.
They were both silent for a moment, drinking in the pleasure of being together before she asked curiously, “Did Travis kill Danny?”
Max’s eyebrows narrowed as he replied, “Probably. It was technically an accident, but Travis was there. Is the fact that he’s dead bothering you?”
“No. It doesn’t bother me personally that Danny is dead. He deserved it, my family is safe, and it means he won’t be around to terrorize anyone else. But poor Travis already put Danny in jail. I hate that he might have had to kill someone for me to be free. He does have a conscience, but he’s always done whatever it took to protect me and Kade.”
“You know he was the one who put Danny in jail?” Max asked, stunned.
“Of course I knew. Does he really think I’m that stupid? He shows up in Virginia, sees what’s happening, and Danny is suddenly going to prison? I knew Travis had done it. What actually happened to kill Danny?” she asked softly.
“When Travis finally located Danny, he went to talk to him. Danny fled in a vehicle and Travis took off after him. Danny ended up going down a very high ravine in Colorado after he lost control during the chase. And believe me, I doubt that Travis felt a twinge of remorse after what the bastard had done to you. When he had verification that Danny was dead, he arranged to bring you home, but apparently never got a chance to talk to you about it because you were gone when he got home from his meeting. Why were you at the picnic anyway?” Max asked, confused. “You had just gotten back to Florida.”
“I knew you’d probably be there. I saw the invitation at Travis’ house. I knew you’d probably hate me for what I’d done, but I wanted to see you. I couldn’t help myself. I kept moving closer, but I didn’t think you’d recognize me.”
“No chance of that. I could sense you,” Max answered, disgruntled. “But the disguise was good enough that no one else did. Did you cut your hair that day?”
“No. I had it done about a year ago. My long hair was used as a weapon too many times. I did it to feel better. It was kind of like therapy. It felt good,” she told him.
“He pulled you around by your hair?” Max snarled.
That was putting it mildly, but Mia didn’t tell Max that. Her father had done the same thing. She simply answered, “Yes.”
Lethargy and exhaustion tugged at Mia’s body. Yawning, she closed her eyes.
“Tired?” Max inquired.
“Very. I didn’t sleep last night. I wanted to savor the feeling of being together one last time, even though you were three sheets to the wind,” she teased. “I can only imagine the whopper of a hangover you must have had this morning. Do you even remember last night?”
“Not much,” Max admitted reluctantly.
“Do you want me to fill you in how you accused me of being with another man and how you wanted to hate me?” she teased with a grin. “And why did you bring Tucker? I’m assuming my brothers left and took Tucker with them, but I thought you and my dog barely tolerated each other.” Mia knew that wasn’t true anymore, but she wanted to hear Max actually admit that he had become buddies with her dog.
“I did think you had a boyfriend. I didn’t exactly get the whole story before I laid into your brother. All I heard was that he’d been responsible for taking you away from me. We didn’t talk much after that.” Max repositioned her so they were lying face to face on the couch, covering both of them with the blanket and wrapping his arms tightly around her. “And the only thing I have in common with that ugly canine is the fact that we both love you. I couldn’t leave him at the house alone. I was being humane. He’s still a pain in my ass.”
“Do you talk to him? Tucker’s a good listener,” Mia cajoled him.
“He’s judgmental. I hate that in a dog,” Max grumbled.
She sniggered as she realized that Max was actually talking about Tucker as if the dog were a person. Yep. They had definitely bonded, even if it was an antagonistic relationship. “You adore him,” Mia accused.
“He irritates the hell out of me. Blames me because you went away,” Max argued.
“You could have dropped him at the neighbor’s house,” she reminded him. “They love Tucker.”
“He wanted to come,” Max said grudgingly. “He was whining. He missed you.”
Obviously Max wasn’t quite ready to admit that he loved Tucker and that the dog had become incredibly attached to him. So she asked, “Did you make peace with Travis?” She stroked her fingers lightly over the black-and-blue mark under his eye.
“Yeah. We’ve agreed not to kill each other,” Max said with a grin.
“And Kade?”
“I still owe him for laughing at my hangover,” he replied menacingly.
Mia cringed. “Was it bad?”
“Bad enough to make me want to be a teetotaler. I’m not sure I can ever drink another drop of alcohol again,” he answered unhappily. “Now I know why I’ve never gotten drunk. I had some sense before I met you,” he teased. “The thought of you betraying me and happily living your life somewhere else made me crazy. I remember how I felt before I got drunk.”
Mia sighed. “I can’t believe you’ve never been drunk. Not even in college?”
“Nope. I studied while everyone else was partying.”
“Oh God. You really are perfect,” Mia said with mock disgust. “And there could never be anyone else, Max. I even had your name tattooed on my ass,” she reminded him jokingly.
Max rubbed the marking possessively. “Yeah. You did. And it’s fucking beautiful.”
Mia laughed. “I forgot that you curse now, so I guess you aren’t perfect.”
“I always cursed. I just never did it in front of you. My dad never swore in front of my mother,” he replied remorsefully.
“Feel free to let it fly,” Mia replied with a smile. “I have two brothers. I’ve heard every profanity in existence and like to use a few occasionally. But since you never swore, I tried not to let one slip.”
“Christ, we really were pathetic. I’ve always adored you, but I’m not sure we ever really knew each other. No, I take that back. My heart knew you, but the rest of me was a damn idiot,” Max answered despondently. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. You shouldn’t have needed to run to Travis. You should have been able to come to me.”
Mia put a finger on his lips to shush him. “I didn’t allow it. And I wasn’t there for you either, Max. But I think we’ve both changed. Can we just start over again? I’d like to be a real wife to you now.”
Max cocked a brow and gave her a bemused look. “Did you really think there was ever any question about it? You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.”
Her arrogant and possessive Max was back, and hotter than hell. Mia sighed and squirmed, trying to get closer to him, as close as she could possibly be. She closed her eyes, totally exhausted, but not wanting to miss a moment of this intimacy with him. “You belong to me too, you know.”
“Baby, I’ve known that from the moment we met,” he told her seriously, still stroking her tattoo absently.
Mia’s heart soared at those words. “Me too,” she confessed, knowing that she had started falling for Max at the very beginning, the first time she’d ever seen him smile.
The next week at the Montana ranch house turned out to be the happiest days of Max’s entire life. He and Mia were getting to know each other again—or maybe actually for the very first time. And even as he cherished each day, each new discovery he made about his wife, he still mourned for the wasted years during which he could have really known her, but never did. She was still the sweet, incredible woman he had married, the woman he loved with an intensity that nearly killed him, but she was so much…more. She was complicated and insightful, mysterious and bewildering, and the challenge of figuring out the way her mind worked intrigued the hell out of him. She had shown him the designs she was creating now with her jewelry, and her skill and passion still amazed him. The things she’d never told him in the past because she was afraid he’d be repulsed actually made him admire her strength. His wife was a survivor, a woman who had been through hell and had come out of it stronger and wiser. She might laughingly call herself a “work in progress,” but to Max, she was perfect. She always had been.
He sat on the bed and pulled on his hiking boots, a purchase he’d made, along with a bunch of casual clothes, on a trip into Billings. Grinning, he laced the boots, thinking about how seldom he and Mia had even made it out of the house in the last week. But honestly, he didn’t think she minded much. She seemed to flash that damned tattoo of hers way too often, and protested very little when he made good on his promise to fuck her every time he saw it.
His cock sprang to life, pressing hard against the denim of his jeans. Shit. I can’t even think about her without getting hard. I don’t have to see the damn tattoo to want her.
Max felt nothing but relief that he didn’t have to hide anything from Mia anymore, or worry about not being the man she wanted. Apparently, she wanted him exactly as he was, and her constant affection, the way she opened herself to him, soothed his soul.
