‘And of course we’ll want to spend a bit of time at the resort,’ he said, reaching over and squeezing her thigh so she could not mistake his intentions.
She put her hand on top of his and stroked her thumb over his warm, smooth skin. ‘Of course.’ She didn’t mention that it was a good time of the month—the ovulation kit had said so that morning—but maybe he’d been taking more notice than she thought. Maybe being away from home would be a good thing. They could relax in the lap of luxury and even spice up their lovemaking a little. Maybe that would be the key to success.
Joe pulled over at a roadhouse between Bunbury and Busselton and grabbed them each an ice-cream to eat in the car. Those few minutes munching were the only quiet moments during the whole trip.
Excited by the weekend ahead, Joe suggested maybe they should plan an even bigger holiday. ‘We could go overseas for Christmas, to Europe or Canada maybe?’
‘That sounds good.’ Lucinda stopped herself asking what Rosa would think about him missing another Mannolini Christmas. Hopefully she’d be heavily pregnant by then and such a trip would be impractical anyway. Instead, she encouraged his enthusiasm, adding her two bob’s worth about cities and places she’d always wanted to visit. By the time they arrived at the five-star resort, they had a whole fantasy itinerary planned out.
Joe had ordered a welcome basket with a bottle of top-of-the-range fizz to be in their room on arrival, and he insisted on running her a spa bath and pouring her a glass. As she sank into the warm bubbles, she felt special, cherished. When she’d walked out of her classroom that afternoon, she’d wondered if resigning was a mistake, but now she felt sure it had been the right thing to do—for herself, for Joe, for their marriage and future family.
Knowing Lucinda didn’t like sharing baths, Joe perched himself on the toilet seat and also sipped champagne as she relaxed. ‘I could stay here forever,’ she said, before taking another sip of her drink.
Eventually the water went cold and Joe lured her out with the promise of dinner and something chocolate for dessert. She climbed out of the spa, he wrapped the resort’s fluffy white robe around her and then led her into the bedroom. There he untied the robe he’d done up only a few seconds before and slipped his hands inside, palming them against her wet skin.
She sucked in a breath as his fingers inched upwards, one hand cupping one of her breasts while the other twirled circles around her other nipple. Maybe it was the champagne, maybe it was their opulent surroundings, but her body relaxed under his touch in a way it hadn’t done for a long time. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, relishing his familiar taste as he eased the robe off her shoulders and let it pool onto the floor.
He gazed down at her nakedness, appreciation evident in his adoring smile. ‘I love you, Lucinda Jane.’
Her eyes began to water. ‘I love you too, Joseph Roberto.’ And then she took the initiative, lifted her hands and pushed him down onto the enormous king size bed.
Afterwards they lay in each other’s arms, sometimes talking, sometimes simply being, until their tummies began to rumble.
‘I don’t want to leave the comfort of this bed,’ Joe groaned. ‘Shall we order room service?’
‘Good idea.’ Lucinda nodded, already reaching for the in-room menu.
Half an hour later they were gorging on gourmet cheeseburgers and the most delicious sweet potato fries either of them had ever eaten, washing it all down with a crisp fruity chardonnay from a local winery.
It was a magical night, reminding her of what their relationship was like before they had started trying to conceive and the stress and pressure had taken over. She slept well and—judging by Joe’s contented snoring—so did he. After waking later than usual with the autumn sun shining in through the window, announcing a beautiful day, they had fabulous morning sex and then showered together before hitting the road. They drove along the spectacular Indian Ocean coast and through the forests, stopping at wineries and cheese factories along the way.
Although she’d almost raised the fertility thing a couple of times, Joe was the first to mention children. They were sitting down for lunch at the Eagle Bay Brewing Company and, much to Lucinda’s dismay, found themselves surrounded by young families. He reached across and took her hand as a gorgeous little girl who looked to be only about one year old started bellowing at the next table. Her older brother, maybe by two or three years, clearly wasn’t happy about the attention her outburst brought so he started hurling his French fries across the table.
As Joe ducked to avoid a flying piece of deep-fried potato, he chuckled. ‘See? Having kids isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We’d never have another peaceful weekend like this again. Not to mention this morning’s luxurious lie-in.’
He was probably only trying to make her feel better about their situation, but she bristled anyway. How could he think like this when he was so good with his nieces and nephews?
She smiled tightly and took a sip of her wine. ‘They’re probably just tired or something.’
Joe nodded and they turned their attention to the menu. Lucinda ordered a coconut chicken salad and tried to tune out her surroundings. But the squeals and happy laughter made her heart ache. No matter what her husband said, she couldn’t think about babies as anything less than a blessing—one she wanted desperately. She and Joe weren’t like the loved-up young couples that sat out on the balcony staring into each other’s eyes; still so new and into each other that they didn’t need another soul. They’d been there, done that and were ready for the next stage of their lives.
Joe kept up the talk of things they might do on their European holiday, but although Lucinda played her part, her heart wasn’t in it. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice.
‘Shall we go hire a canoe now?’ he asked, when he’d hoovered up the last of his chocolate mud cake dessert.
‘Yep. Sounds great.’ Maybe the fresh air would do her good.
He drove them down the coast to a little bay with a rustic looking shack that hired out canoes. The one good thing about this place was that it didn’t seem to be overrun with young families. Although they’d canoed a number of times before, they pretended to listen as the boathouse guy rattled off rules and instructions as he handed out their life jackets. Her zip was a little stiff, so Joe helped her yank it up and then kissed her on the forehead. ‘Fluoro orange suits you.’
She laughed, feeling herself loosen up a little. ‘Pity I can’t say the same about you.’
‘Come on,’ he said, giving her a wounded look, ‘I look hot in any colour.’
She rolled her eyes, but it was true. If only being good-looking could help them with their fertility woes.
‘You kids have fun,’ said the guy as Joe held Lucinda’s hand while she stepped into the canoe. They were almost old enough to be his parents.
‘Thanks.’ Joe waved as he pushed the canoe out into the water and then jumped in. The boat rocked and Lucinda squealed like a teenager as they glided out towards the open sea. Joe laughed and then started paddling like they were in the Olympics. Lucinda half-heartedly made an attempt to do her bit, but he had it under control and as they travelled slowly along the coastline, she gave him her oar and relaxed back to enjoy the ride. The afternoon sun beat down on them but thankfully Joe had remembered to pack their hats. He was responsible like that. If they had children, he’d be a great dad, remembering things like sunscreen without having to be reminded.
‘Ah … isn’t this the life.’ Joe lifted the paddles into the boat, splashing a little water onto her legs. He sat back and they floated awhile, letting the gentle waves rock the canoe.
Lucinda couldn’t remember feeling this relaxed for a very long time. Her eyes grew a little heavy and she guessed if she wasn’t sitting upright, she’d likely fall asleep, but then something Joe said snapped her out of her serene state.
‘It wouldn’t be that bad, would it?’
‘What?’ she asked, stifling a yawn.
�
��This. Being out here with you, just the two of us, surrounded by such beauty, is magic. I’m having the best weekend. Would it really be so bad if we couldn’t have children?’
Her heart froze, but he went on, oblivious.
‘It’d be a different life, sure, but it could be just as good, just as full. Think of all the things we could do together.’
Lucinda tried to rein in her frustration. ‘I’m not ready to give up just yet, Joe.’
‘Course not.’
She couldn’t understand why he didn’t appear to care as much as she did about their conception problems.
And then as if he’d never brought up the baby issue, he picked up the oars and started paddling again. ‘What do you want to do tonight? We could go out for dinner or we could head up to Busselton and go to the drive-in.’
‘Do you know what’s showing? After that lunch I’m not sure I could eat much for dinner.’
They decided to check the movie schedule as soon as they got back to the shore.
After another half hour on the water, Lucinda’s arms grew tired and they turned back. They returned their canoe, oars and life jackets, thanked the boathouse guy and then trekked over the dunes to their car. Just as they were climbing inside, Joe’s mobile rang.
He glanced down at the caller ID. ‘It’s Matt,’ he said.
‘Go on, answer it.’ Lucinda smiled, telling him she didn’t mind. Matt was a long-time friend and had been best man at their wedding. He worked on the mines too but a different one to Joe and they rarely managed to coordinate their schedules.
‘Hey, buddy, how you going?’ Joe said, turning the key in the ignition so he could wind down the windows while he talked.
Lucinda could hear Matt’s voice but couldn’t make out his side of the conversation.
Suddenly Joe’s face lit up in excitement. ‘Yeah, I’m off that weekend too. That’d be great. I can’t remember the last time we went out fishing. Who else is coming?’
She got her phone out of her bag and checked Facebook while she waited for Joe to finish up. She was enjoying Charlie’s updates of the hotel redecoration—they made her feel like she was a part of it, even though she was far away. On Charlie’s personal page, there was also a photo of Dad’s new caravan, which she ‘liked’ while pondering Charlie’s suspicions that he and Mrs Sampson were becoming an item. Lucinda wasn’t sure how she felt about that possibility, but she did want Dad to be happy.
‘Okay, can’t wait. Talk soon.’ Joe disconnected his call and Lucinda slipped her mobile back into her handbag.
‘You and Matt planning a fishing trip?’
His nodded, his grin stretching right across his face. ‘It’ll be ace to catch up.’
‘When?’
He named a weekend four weeks away, the next time he’d be home from work. An alarm bell rang in Lucinda’s head and she did a quick mental calculation, confirming what she already suspected.
‘You can’t go that weekend.’
Joe frowned. ‘We haven’t got anything on, have we?’
‘That will be the right time of the month.’ She tried to control her irritation.
Joe rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel. ‘Luce, we can’t let this rule our lives. I’m not going to tell Matt and the boys I can’t go fishing because my wife will be ovulating that weekend.’
She blinked. Why not? It sounded perfectly reasonable to her. ‘How far away will you be? Maybe you can come home in the evenings.’
‘No way.’ Joe sounded angry now. ‘I’m not coming home to service you. It’s one weekend and I’m going.’
‘That’s it? No discussion? Sometimes I really don’t think you care at all about having children.’
‘And sometimes I don’t think you care about anything else,’ he snapped, banging his fist on the steering wheel. The horn sounded, an echo of his fury.
She blinked, fighting back tears. He’d only get more annoyed if she cried.
‘I can’t live like this, Lucinda.’
‘What are you saying?’
He sighed angrily and ran a hand through his hair, glaring at her as if she were the enemy. ‘I’m trying damn hard to be patient. I know how much this fertility thing is upsetting you. I planned this weekend for us, to give you a break and to show you just how much I love you, but it’s not enough for you. Is it? I’m not enough, am I?’
She wanted to say that he was, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie. She couldn’t live like this anymore either, not unless they were one hundred percent on the same page. No matter what he said, he didn’t understand how much this meant to her. ‘I want it to be,’ she whispered.
She glanced across at Joe. He looked broken. She’d done that. The invisible barricades holding back her tears ruptured and they flowed freely down her face. For the first time in their marriage, he didn’t reach over and pull her against him. He didn’t stroke her hair, whisper sweet nothings and then kiss away each teardrop one by one. He was less than a ruler’s width away from her but she’d never felt so disconnected. So distant.
They sat in silence for a few long minutes, the car idling, both of them staring out at the ocean ahead. The beautiful view and the warm autumn weather seemed to be in direct opposition to the feelings inside her.
Joe looked at her again and shook his head, his eyes full of defeat. ‘You know what I want? I want the Lucinda I fell in love with to come back. When you look at me, I want you to see more than a potential sperm donor. I want you to want me, me,’ he roared. ‘You don’t want to have sex anymore unless it’s the right time of the month and even when we do you go on about the curse and how it probably won’t do any good anyway. That’s not a marriage, Lucinda.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘See? You can’t even deny it.’ He made a scoffing noise. ‘I dunno, maybe you should go home for a bit. Maybe you can help your dad and Charlie at the motel.’
‘What?’ Her heart cramped. ‘Are you asking for a divorce?’
‘I’m asking you to take some time away from me. To work out your feelings, to work out what really matters, because I can’t take much more of this.’
She felt like he’d kicked her in the gut. But maybe he was right. Maybe she did need to get away—not just from work but from everything. Still it broke her heart that he was the one asking, that he couldn’t put himself in her shoes and understand.
At least if she went home to Meadow Brook she could be some use. And working at the motel she wouldn’t be surrounded by children, constantly reminded her of her barren state like she was at school.
‘If you think it’ll help,’ she whispered.
‘I don’t know what will help. I still want to make this work, Lucinda, but if this goes on, I’m scared my anger will be stronger than any other feelings I have for you.’
Ouch. She simply nodded. His words hurt so much she found it impossible to speak.
Joe put the sports car into drive. Dinner didn’t happen that night, nor did the drive-in at Busselton. They went back to the resort, collected their things and drove to Perth in absolute silence.
That evening, Lucinda packed her bags.
Chapter Thirty-four
Charlie’s hand dived into the popcorn bowl, brushing against Mitch’s as he did the same thing. Her heart stilled and a delicious fluttery feeling shot down her spine at the accidental connection, but he quickly pulled his hand back.
‘Sorry,’ he muttered, his gaze trained on the screen.
Inwardly Charlie sighed.
It was just another Sunday night. Dad and Mrs Sampson were manning the bar, no doubt talking caravan plans, and Mitch had come over to watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad, something that had become a ritual these past few weeks. Other nights when he came over, they’d head into one of the rooms to paint, but Sunday night was dedicated relaxation time. Lisa and Kate had started calling them an unofficial item because they hung out like an old married couple, but Mitch seemed oblivious to this.
While
Charlie continued to struggle with her growing attraction to her best friend, he went on as if nothing had changed. He sent her photos of funny things he saw when he was on the road and often enquired how her study was progressing. It was going well. She could only find a few hours a week to study, so during that time she worked hard. Ironically, it was only when she lost herself in her naturopathy books that she managed to get him out of her head. Mitch occasionally referred to her going back to Melbourne, saying that he’d make more of an effort to visit her than he’d done in the past. But despite ample opportunities during the time they spent alone, he’d never offered any indication that he wanted anything more than friendship between them.
Unrequited love sucked.
‘Do you want a drink?’ Charlie asked, shoving the popcorn bowl towards him as she pushed herself up off the couch. She needed a few moments not in such close proximity to the object of her affection. Before he could reply, the front door to the house flew open and a gust of cool, April evening air shot inside.
Both of them looked to the door, shocked to see Lucinda standing there, a suitcase at her feet.
‘Hello,’ she said, looking from Charlie to Mitch as if they’d been expecting her. ‘Is the kettle on?’
Charlie looked down at Mitch. He raised a questioning eyebrow and she shrugged one shoulder before turning to her sister. ‘I can put it on.’
Questions crowded her mind: What the hell was Lucinda doing turning up unannounced on a Sunday night? She wanted to ask how she’d gotten here, how long she planned to stay, why she was on her own—but the look on Lucinda’s face told her now was not the time for an interrogation.
‘Good. I’ll go dump my things.’ Lucinda grabbed the handle of her suitcase and began dragging it inside, walking past Charlie and Mitch and continuing down the corridor to the spare bedroom.
‘You didn’t mention she was coming home,’ Mitch said, slight accusation in his tone.
The Patterson Girls Page 31
