Practice to Deceive

by Olivia Evans

“Well, you damn sure got your wish, didn’t you?” He tried to smile, but I could tell he was having as much trouble digesting the information as I was.

  Hawaii. I was moving to Hawaii. We were moving to Hawaii.

  “Could be worse.” I shrugged, trying to stay positive. “I could have been assigned somewhere like Kansas. That place isn’t exactly flourishing with marine life, if you know what I mean.”

  “She’ll be excited.” He nodded, loading his pistol for his second round at the target.

  “I hope so.” I really wasn’t sure how she’d react. As far as her career was concerned, it couldn’t get much better than a place like Hawaii, but it was so damn far away from her family.

  “She will be. She may be shocked at first, but she’s made her decision. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

  He turned his back then and slipped his goggles back over his face. I let out a deep breath and moved beside him to my own target. A million thoughts swirled around in my head. Would she go even if she didn’t want to, just to be with me? Would she resent me for it later? Possibly put a strain on us, being so isolated from everyone?

  I squeezed the trigger in quick succession, not pausing to see if I needed to realign my shot. I needed to blast some anxiety out of me, and fast. I’d called Agent Gibson as soon as I’d read the letter. I knew it would do no good, but if I didn’t at least try to see if there was another assignment somewhere closer, I would feel guilty. Just as I’d suspected, it was Hawaii or some crappy small town in nowhere Iowa, which had about as much marine life as Kansas.

  “I’m a little concerned that you managed to graduate from the FBI with aim like that.”

  I jerked my head around to Martin, who was staring at me with his eyebrow raised. My eyes drifted back to the target, and fuck me, I’d barely managed to hit the paper, much less the target.

  “Sorry, I was a little distracted.”

  He hummed in agreement but didn’t say anything else about my shitty aim, instead changing the subject. “Come on, I think we’ve had enough of the shooting range. Let’s grab a beer.”

  “Best idea I’ve heard all day.” We grabbed our things and walked down the street to a sports bar, finding a booth in the back and ordering a couple beers.

  “What’s got you so worked up?” he asked once we had our beer.

  “I’m just worried about how she’s going to feel, being so far away from you guys. I don’t want her to feel like she’s choosing me over her family.”

  “But she is.” His tone was blunt, matter-of-fact, but not angry or upset.

  “What do you mean? I don’t want her to feel like she’s—”

  He held up his hand to cut me off. “Son, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We’re her family, and we love her, but you’re the one she’s chosen to start her life with. You should come first.” He had that same look on his face he’d had the day we were on the lake, and again, I got the feeling he wasn’t so much talking about Skylar and me.

  “Sounds like you’re speaking from personal experience,” I hedged.

  “I am.”

  I sat quietly, waiting to see if he’d continue or if that was the end of his confession. After a couple tense moments, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. “My parents, rest their souls, were assholes.” I choked on my beer, my eyes watering as I tried to pull in a breath. He shrugged.

  “My parents weren’t fans of Skylar’s mom, Elena. She hated it here, wanted to leave, but my parents disagreed. They used every guilt trip they could think of to get me to stay, played on my insecurities. She threatened to leave without me, but I never took her seriously. One day, I came home and she was gone.” I watched his eyes darken, the light draining from them slowly. He actually looked like he was going to be sick.

  “I found out a few months later that she was pregnant with Skylar. I tried to follow her, but it was too late by then. She’d wanted me to come for her, not because she was having our baby. I should have fought harder, I should have moved down there, I should have put her first.” He shook his head, and I got the distinct impression Martin wasn’t over Elena in the least.

  “That’s why I came to you. Skylar is so stubborn. I may not have raised her in the traditional sense, but I know my daughter. I didn’t want her to ever feel like I made Elena feel, like she wasn’t worth fighting for. And whether she wanted to admit it at the time, she wanted you to fight for her, too.” He nodded in a “Trust me, I know these things” way that made me feel a whole lot fucking better about telling Skylar about Hawaii.

  “Thanks, Martin,” I mumbled, overwhelmed not only by how sad his story was, but that I came so close to being just like him. I thought about my conversation with Drew, how terrible it would be going through life knowing you’d had the one and lost them.

  “Now, enough of that. When are you planning on making an honest woman out of her?”

  “Shit,” I choked as he let out a full-blown belly laugh.

  “I’m just messing with you, kid. You two have all the time in the world for that.”

  “I will, though,” I answered. “When the time is right.”

  He nodded one last time before the topic switched to sports, and all thoughts of relocating, mistakes, and lost loves were pushed aside. By the time we left, I was relaxed and even a little excited about telling Skylar where I’d been assigned. Of course, the beers I’d drunk probably helped with that.

  After parting ways with Martin, I walked to the closest drugstore and bought every random thing I could find that had anything to do with Hawaii―from Hawaiian Tropics sun block to one of those flower things girls wore in their hair. I was pretty sure she’d think I’d lost my mind, but again, the beer I’d drunk convinced me it was an excellent idea.

  When I got home, after sobering a little and side-eyeing all the shit I’d bought, I started listing all the things I needed to do before I left after the first of January. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I’d be leaving Skylar again. Regardless of how short our time apart would be, it hurt to think about being without her again so soon. I picked up my phone and scrolled to her name so I could send her a text.

  Come to my place as soon as you’re done with work?

  I let out a heavy breath before dropping my elbows to my knees and cradling my head. I wanted to go to her job, throw her over my shoulder, and lock her away in a room with me until I had to board the plane and leave her for almost two months. My phone vibrated with an incoming message.

  Sure. Everything okay?

  Yeah, I just miss you.

  Her response was immediate.

  But you saw me this morning…

  Exactly. Too long.

  I bounced my leg as I tried to figure out how to occupy myself. It would be close to dinner when she showed up; maybe I could cook her some authentic Hawaiian food. I opened my laptop and read through a couple recipes before it became obvious that, one, I didn’t have any of the shit I needed to make these meals, and two, I would fuck them up even if I did have what I needed. I sighed and rubbed my hand down my face before another idea hit me. I might not be able to cook, but I could order takeout like a damn pro. I pulled up a couple restaurants before choosing one that seemed to have the biggest selection of authentic food―then proceeded to order almost every damn item on their menu. By the time I was done, I had a hefty bill and an hour to burn before the food was delivered.

  I paced. I cleaned. I might have even started a couple conversations with myself. Luckily the pacing and cleaning burned up most of my time until the food arrived and gave me something else to do. I’d just finished pulling everything out of the containers when I heard the front door open.

  “Hey,” Skylar called from down the hall. I threw the towel on the counter and jogged to meet her, wrapping her in my arms and kissing her hard.

  “You really did miss me,” she chuckled, running her hand down the side of my face.

  “I really did.” I leaned in to kiss her again, only to have her palm
my face and twist her head away from me.

  “Oh my God, what is that smell?” She breathed in deeply, her eyes rolling back. I knew that face, and if she planned on actually eating, she needed to stop making it. Then I thought about the food in the kitchen and why I’d gotten it in the first place. Suddenly, all dirty thoughts were gone, replaced by anxiety and nerves.

  “I got dinner.” I slid my hand down her side and hooked my finger in her belt loop, walking backward to the kitchen as I tugged her along with me.

  “Okay.” She smiled, a puzzled expression on her face.

  “I didn’t cook,” I assured, releasing her once we got to the table and motioned for her to have a seat.

  “Oh, thank God.”

  “Smartass.”

  “Did you have a good time with Dad?”

  I nodded and set two plates of food on the table, each one loaded with a little bit of everything.

  “Holy shit, Brennan! What is this, the Last Supper?” Her eyes were huge, her mouth hanging open as she looked from my face to the plate in front of her.

  “I didn’t know what you’d like, so I got a little of everything.”

  “But why? What’s going on, Brennan?” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes as she stared at me. I blew out a breath and fell into the seat across from her, letting my head bang against the table.

  “I honestly have no fucking clue.”

  “Okay, well, how about you start with what has you literally banging your head on the table.” I lifted my head, focusing on her soft, concerned gaze. She furrowed her brows as she leaned forward and placed her hand on my knee. “You can tell me anything.”

  I licked my lips and smiled, all of my anxiety melting away as I realized I was being completely ridiculous. I could tell her anything, because she was my best friend, the girl I loved more than anything. She was my person.

  “We’re moving to Hawaii.” I blurted out. Okay, that wasn’t exactly the way I’d planned on telling her.

  “What?” She reeled back from me, her eyes wide.

  “Um, Hawaii. I got my assignment, and that’s where I’ve been assigned.” I looked down at all the food and couldn’t help but chuckle, still wondering what the hell I’d actually hoped to accomplish. “Surprise.”

  “Hawaii? As in, the state?”

  “Yeah, that one.”

  “Shit,” she choked, slumping back in her seat and staring vacantly over my head. My heart started beating faster, my hands becoming clammy as she sat motionless, staring at nothing. Fuck. Was I wrong? Was Hawaii too far?

  “Baby?” I copied her movements from earlier, leaning forward and sliding my hand over the top of her thigh. She jerked her head, her gaze colliding with mine.

  “We’re moving to Hawaii?” The lump lodged in my throat kept me from answering, so instead, I nodded, searching her face for any indication of what she was thinking.

  “Holy fucking shit, we’re moving to Hawaii!” she screamed, springing to her feet and launching herself at me.

  “Whoa! Fuck,” I grunted, the chair tipping to the side and sending us both to the floor as her body slammed into mine.

  “Oh shit,” she laughed. “Are you okay?”

  I let my head fall against the floor and brought my hands to her waist as she straddled my hips. “Yeah,” I chuckled. “I am now.”

  “Why were you so nervous?”

  “It’s so far away from your family. I was worried you would second-guess—”

  “Shut up.” She smiled. “I told you I was all in. Where you go, I go. No matter where that is, I just want to be with you.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine, and in that moment, I couldn’t remember why I’d been so worried in the first place.

  “Whoa, y’all aren’t about to have sex, are you?” Drew yelled from the doorway.

  “Yes, Drew, we were. Now, go away,” Skylar mumbled against my lips, causing both Drew and me to laugh. I patted her ass and pushed up until we were sitting upright. I brushed her hair over her shoulder and leaned in close to her ear before whispering, “Later.”

  “Damn, this is a lot of food, even for me. Are you two high?”

  “No, Drew.” I wrapped my hands around Skylar’s waist and lifted her up. “I got my assignment today, and I was trying to figure out how to tell Skylar, hence the food,” I said, motioning toward the table.

  Skylar grabbed my hand and pulled me from the floor, a huge smile on her face. I wrapped my arms around her, and she laid her head against my chest as we both watched Drew working out what I meant. It took a couple seconds before a look of understanding crossed his face, immediately followed by shock.

  “Hawaii?”

  “Yup.” Skylar laughed, squeezing my hand.

  “But that’s so far.”

  It struck me then that I had been so worried about how Skylar would react, I hadn’t really given much thought to how Drew, Rachel, or my parents would take the news. “Look at it this way. You’ll have a free place to stay when you guys go on vacation,” I offered, trying to stifle my own emotions. He took a step forward, pulling me away from Skylar and into a crushing hug. I could barely breathe.

  “I’m going to miss you, bro.” He patted my back twice and released me, turning quickly, but not before I saw his glassy eyes. I looked at Skylar, who was watching Drew with a sad smile on her face. She motioned with her head that she was going to the living room, and I nodded before returning my attention to Drew.

  I stepped to the table and pulled one of the chairs roughly across the floor to get his attention. I fell into the seat and pushed the plate across from me toward him as he faced me. “I’m going to miss you too,” I said a few seconds after he sat down.

  “I know, man. It’s just, we’ve never lived that far apart before. It’s going to be weird.” He shrugged, picking up a piece of chicken and shoving it into his mouth.

  I looked at my lap. It would be weird not seeing him every day. Drew may have his shit together and be overly mature for his age, but when it was all said and done, he was still my baby brother.

  “I’m glad you’ll have Skylar with you, though. I’d hate for you to be that far away and be alone.”

  I smiled then, and so did he. “Yeah, I still can’t believe she’s really here, that she gave me a second chance after all the shit I did.”

  “Because that wasn’t you. She knew that.”

  “You’re moving to Hawaii?” Rachel cried, running into the kitchen and hugging me from behind. I angled my head to the doorway, where Skylar stood, her face blotchy and her eyes red.

  “Come on, Rachel. Don’t cry. You’ll see me again.” I reached up and squeezed her hand as she stepped away from me.

  “Pfft, I’m not worried about you. You’re taking Skylar! What am I going to do now? She’s one of the few friends I have. You know I don’t like people!”

  My brows shot up as a smile spread across my face. “Are you for real right now?”

  “Hell yes, I am. You suck.” She reached over me and grabbed a piece of chicken from my plate, shaking it in my face. “And I’m taking this chicken. Deal with it.” She spun around and stomped out of the room as I stared at her incredulously.

  “Well, there that is,” Drew laughed, pushing away from the table.

  “There that fucking is,” I agreed.

  Skylar walked over to Drew and hip checked him, causing him to stumble a couple steps. “Move it. You’re not eating all my food.” He eyed her for a second, maybe working out whether or not he could take her before he made some sort of grunting noise and leaned against the counter.

  “You take care of my brother, okay?”

  Skylar smiled. “I will, Drew. I promise.” He pushed off the counter and walked past me, patting my shoulder twice as he left the room.

  “So, what happens now?”

  “Well,” I said, leaning closer to her. “We can start with getting you out of these clothes, then I want to see if I can get you to make that noi
se when—”

  “Not right now, right now,” she laughed. “I mean, what needs to be done to get everything settled for our move. When do you leave?” She smiled widely, her eyes bright as she bounced in her seat, her excitement contagious.

  “We need to find an apartment first. I have my savings, along with some money my parents set aside, that I can use as a down payment. But I thought we could rent first until we know the area better and can pick out something together.”

  “I like that idea. Very much.”

  We spent the next two weeks doing nothing but apartment shopping, packing, and all the other little things that needed to be taken care of. Before I realized it, Christmas was four days away and not only had I yet to pick up Skylar’s present, but we also hadn’t discussed whether or not she was coming with me to Aberdeen. Which was why I was going straight to the aquarium to meet her for lunch after I picked up her gift. Of course, that was before one of the charms in the jewelry case caught my eye.

  “Yes, the one in the back,” I told the saleslady, pointing to the plumeria charm in the jewelry case.

  “And you want this one in addition to the one you had custom made?” she asked, her eyes lighting up as she slid the glass case closed, no doubt adding up the costs of both items.

  “Yes,” I answered, handing over my credit card as she finished boxing up Skylar’s gifts. I thought about the other night at dinner when I noticed she was wearing the bracelet I’d given her. At first, I couldn’t figure out why that seemed off, until I realized even when we’d been apart and she hated me, she’d kept it. When I asked her about it, she just shrugged and said it was all she had of me and she wasn’t ready to let it go. After dinner, I reminded her over and over exactly how grateful I was she hadn’t. I dropped her presents off at the apartment, along with all the other shit I’d bought for everyone, and headed to meet Skylar for lunch. I walked into the building and ran straight into Dr. Walsh.

  “Brennan, hello. How are you?”

  “Great. Things are great.”

  “Skylar told me you about your job assignment in Hawaii. Congratulations.” He smiled and patted my shoulder.