by Ava Mason
His eyes roamed over my naked chest and his hands tugged at the button on the pants. “I was so cold, out in the snow. And you looked so warm and inviting. I was so fucking miserable and angry. And you were just so beautiful. You were so happy when you began to shift. I watched you through my scope and your smile…” He smiled, remembering. “Your smile is beautiful. It made me feel so warm inside just looking at you being happy.”
He was looking into my eyes but his hand was sliding the too big pants down my thighs.
I didn’t stop him, I couldn’t. I was transfixed by his words, staring at the unicorn tattoo that laced his chest, of the price he’d already paid by opening himself to love.
His head lowered and his mouth skirted my throat. “But it’s more than that. You are more than that. You are my home. You make me feel like I can be something again. Not a killer, or the person who lost his wife and baby. But like a man again. A man who is loved and cherished. Like I can mean something to this world again.”
I was lost in his words as they wrapped around me. In the way that he was looking at me, touching me. His fingers were nimble and they were skirting up my stomach towards my breast.
“You are so sexy, so beautiful.” His fingers moved over my chest, causing my nipples to perk and I bowed my back, pushing my breasts forward like an offering, egging him on. But the anger inside was still rolling, buckling, suffocating. I was a complete mess. My mind was telling me that he didn’t deserve this, to touch me, not for the way that he treated me. For not trusting me enough to talk to me before he shot me. We could’ve worked on it together, instead of him trying to do everything on his own.
But my body was responding to his touch. It couldn’t help wanting to feel his hands all over me.
He climbed over me; his erection pressed against my thigh as his eyes were boring into mine. He put his elbow over my shoulder and stretched his body over mine, moving his hand possessively around my waist.
“Please Lizzy. Say you forgive me. Say you want me, too. Tell me I can have you, even if it’s just for now. For this one moment. Please, Lizzy.” He traced his nose up my throat and I let out a strangled cry. At this, he closed his eyes, groaning and that noise made me loose control over myself. I wanted him so bad. So much that I was leaking between my thighs, that I wanted to slide myself over his erection and let him take me.
And yet, his confession wasn’t enough. He had to change. To stop pushing me away. He had to trust me. Or I would never be enough. I put my hands against his arms. “You could’ve killed me.”
I was still angry. What if he’d missed?
He shook his head, giving me a determined look. “No.” His face was dark, his eyes demanding. “I never miss. I hit you exactly where I wanted to. Enough to look bad but not to kill.” His knee pressed between my thigh, pushing my legs apart.
“But you didn’t know that I was wearing the Queen’s ring. That I wasn’t healing. What if you shot that big vein in my leg? Or somewhere in my chest. I was a wolf when you shot me, it would’ve been millimeters away.” I sucked in a breath, remembering. “And I stopped right before you shot me. I remember it clearly because my instincts told me that something wasn’t right.” Tears sparked in my eyes again but I was still so angry and turned on all at once that I was frozen in indecision. So I attacked him instead. “I could’ve bled out, Avery, and really died.”
“There is no doubt in my mind that Christian would’ve ripped that ring off your finger if you’d been in any danger at all.” He began to move his lips over my neck, kissing it tenderly and his beard scratched at my skin. He moved down my body, kissing and nibbling, murmuring against my skin. “But there was zero chance of that. I knew you’d stopped.” He was at my entrance now, his mouth right over my pussy. He nudged it with his nose, pushing it just a tiny bit between my lips and I moaned. Damnitall to Avery for seducing me.
“You smell so fucking good right now.” His tongue snaked out, touching the tip of my nub, setting my whole body on fire. “Please, Lizzy. Give me just one taste.”
I grasped his arm, squeezing it, trying to keep my control. I closed my eyes as his tongue moved in between my lips, running up my cunt. His beard prickled my inner lips and the sting made me moan.
“Just one more,” he murmured. “I just need. One.” His tongue snaked out again. “More.”
I arched my back, mewling, bringing my hips up to him as his tongue entered me again. I was dripping with need, with want, for his cock inside me. He pressed his hands into my knees, pulling my legs further apart. “You have the most beautiful pussy.” He rubbed his nose over it. “It’s so intoxicating. Your taste so addicting. You’ll forgive me if I just make you come a little.”
“No.” My voice came out a mixture of desire and fury.
His hands ran up my stomach, pressing into my skin. “Please, Lizzy. Just a little. You have no idea how much I want you right now. How much I need you.” His fingers flicked at my nipples, his lips kissing my hips. His breath over my skin was making me long to let him fill me up, to push himself into me and fill me with his dick. But I knew that this was everything to Avery, that he didn’t give himself to anyone. That he needed my trust first or he would regret this.
And that I needed it also.
He had to trust me. To let me in. I wouldn’t stand for anything else.
“No.” My voice was firm now and he stilled, then looked up at me.
“No, Avery. You don’t trust me.”
His face contorted, his desire for me giving way to anger and shame and intense sadness.
I touched his face. “I can’t… I can’t let you in, until I know that you trust me enough, to give me everything first. To give me your heart.”
He looked shocked. “That’s what I’m trying to do! I’m giving you everything right now. You have no idea what I’m offering you. I haven’t had sex since Mia, Lizzy.” He gripped my hips tight. “I’m offering you everything.”
He looked so crushed, so torn. So fucking broken that it destroyed me to do this. To tell him no.
But I knew it had to be done. I wrapped my legs around him, my actions a direct contradiction to my words because I was still turned on and wanting more. “I do know, Avery. I know that you want to give yourself to me. I also know that as soon as it’s over, you’ll want to crumble into yourself because you haven’t forgiven yourself yet. Because you haven’t opened your heart enough yet. You think that by offering your body to me, you’re showing me that you care. That you love me.” I put my hand on his chest, right over his heart. “But I want your trust, Avery. To show me that you can talk to me. Instead of pushing me away when you’re angry. Instead of running off on your own, trying to save the world when we can do it better as a team. I want your body but what I need, is your heart.”
His eyes stared into mine, so hurt and agonized; it was killing me to look at him. I closed my eyes, unable to take any more of his pain.
“You’re right, Lizzy.” He pulled my legs from around him. “I’m… I’m not being fair. You don’t deserve this. And I…” I heard him swallow hard. “And I don’t deserve you.”
I opened my eyes. “That’s not what I said, Avery.” I sat up because he was standing up now, a determined look on his face. “I didn’t say that.”
His wings spread out from his back. He was going to leave me again.
“Avery.” The anger was back. “This is exactly what I was talking about.”
But it didn’t matter, he just gave me this look. Filled with longing and anger and self hatred, but it was still determined. To leave.
“Avery!” I called out as he rose in the air. I was filled with fury now. And hurt and anguish. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep hurting me like this.”
He shook his head. “I can’t, Elizabeth. I just can’t.” Then he rose in the air, fully transforming into his beautiful dragon form.
I stood up. “Avery!” I was screaming. “Don’t leave me like this. Don’t leave me here.”
I burst into tears as he flew away, so frustrated and angry and so hurt. I was suddenly cold and shaking and I fell back to my knees, then lay back down on my side, allowing the rocks and the sand to dig into my skin. I pulled my knees up to my chest, drawing into myself, crying and doubting my choices.
Did I really believe that I could be enough to make them all happy?
I couldn’t even keep the team together for one week.
I would never be enough. I had to let them go. Let them find their own happiness, their own families. And then they could still be a team again.
The only thought that kept me from completely falling apart in that moment was my need for revenge. I had to go home and kill Scarface. I was going to look him in the eyes as my blade went across his throat. And then I would disappear into the night.
It was better for everyone that way.
I lay there for a long time, so mad and angry and hurt and needing. And then a shadow passed over the sun, making it grow cold and the smell of the beach filled my nose as Christian’s arms wrapped around me.
“No.” I cried out as the fine blond hair of Christian’s naked chest rubbed against my arms. He pulled me up, cradling me, then he stood up and began walking.
I kicked my feet. “Let me down.” They’d sent Christian for a reason, to help me heal. Like Avery leaving meant nothing. But I didn’t want to change my mind. I wanted to revel in the anger, to let it give me the courage to leave them. To kill the bastard who killed my parents. I didn’t want to not be mad.
But his taut arms only tightened around me, keeping me in a cocoon of the safety he offered me. Warmth shot from his hands, filling my torso and spreading through my body. I slowly relaxed, no longer cold and shaking but I was still angry.
“Let me down.” I looked into his eyes and they reflected my own stubbornness.
“Avery sent me.” He said it to make me feel better but it only made me feel worse.
“I don’t care.”
“I tried to talk to you, to show you I was coming. It took me a while to find you.”
I shrugged. “I was blocking.”
His eyes darkened. “I don’t want you to block me.”
I studied his face, the way his eyes were so intent on me, the worry lines under his eyes as he scowled at me. “Why not?”
“Because. I just don’t.” We were at the river’s edge and he hesitated before taking a step into the clear water.
“I thought I didn’t matter to you.” I spit this out, knowing it was a lie, but I wanted to get a reaction out of him. I wanted to make him just as angry as I was. Then maybe he would let me go.
“Don’t play that shit with me. You know I didn’t say that.” Frowning, he waded in deeper and I took in a deep breath as the water touched my bare ass. I was expecting it to be freezing with the melting snow but it was the perfect temperature. His fingers dug deeper into my skin. “Don’t ever block me.”
“Tell me why. ‘I just don’t want you to’ isn’t good enough.”
“Because I was worried about you.”
“That’s not a good enough reason.”
He growled. “Yes it is.”
“I have a right to privacy. To have some space if I need it.”
We were waist deep in the water now but he kept moving down the lazy river. “Not if you’re alone in the middle of the woods with a high-level target on your back, you don’t. You are part of the team now, you’re our fucking Alpha for hell’s sake.”
I sat up, forcing his arms loose, and wrapped my legs around his torso. I stared into his eyes. “Is that all I am to you?”
Pausing, he closed his eyes. “No, of course not.”
“Then what, Christian?” I knew I wasn’t being fair to him. Unlike Avery, he’d been clear with me. But I couldn’t help taking my anger out on him. “What am I?” I was never more sure that I’d come in between them. I’d asked Christian to do something he didn’t want.
It was wrong; I would never be enough for him. I understood that now.
Avery had opened my eyes, showing me that my weaknesses would only drag them down. They were too special, too important to break apart. They needed another dragon, one strong enough to handle them all.
I leaned my head against him. What was I even doing?
The water on my feet was so warm, so comfortable, and I slid down just a little bit. That’s when I realized that he had an erection. It was thick and long and it was perfectly positioned under my opening. Just a little bit lower and I could slide right over it.
He looked away, biting his lip. I forced his face back to look at me.
“What are you doing? Why are we in the water?”
The emerald green of his eyes darkened and they stared into mine intently. He lifted his face stubbornly. “We’re here to finish what you started in the jacuzzi.”
I took in a sharp breath. “No.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why not? I want you. I want you by my side always. As my Alpha, as my friend, as my soul mate.” His grip on my ass slipped just a little bit and I could feel the tip of his dick pressing into my inner thigh. “As my lover.”
My expression darkened. “Don’t do this just to make me feel better.”
He growled. “I’m not.”
“Then why?”
“Because I fucking want you, Pinky. Can’t you see that?” He shifted my thighs so his thickness pressed against my stomach. “I know you can feel it.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t right. I can’t ask you to share, to give up the intimacy you need. I’m not enough for you all.”
He growled. “You are.”
“I’m not!” Tears sprung from my eyes and I wiped at them, furious that I couldn’t stop them from leaking down my face. “Just let me go.”
He gripped me tighter, leaning his lips against mine. “I will never let you go, Pinky. Not ever.”
I choked on my answer. “And the rest of the guys? I can’t ask you to share with them. But I can’t pick between you. I need to let you all go.”
“No.” His eyes were steel, staring into mine. I can…” He swallowed hard. “I can accept it.”
“Can you?”
He nodded.
“I don’t believe you. What changed your mind from last night?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just know that I’ve made my decision.”
I took in a breath, feeling a spark of hope. “Then I’m willing to give you the time you need, to adjust.”
He growled. “No, I don’t want time.” He pressed his mouth against mine, snaking his tongue against my lips and fire shot to my belly. “I want you now.”
I grasped the side of his face, feeling the heat between us build and staring into those stubborn eyes. The tension was still there. It had been building between us ever since that first day we met. But it had been patiently pushed back by Christian, who refused to go any further than tender kisses.
Because he didn’t want to share.
Because he wanted me to himself.
What had changed?
I leaned closer, brushing my lips against his, softly, gently. He leaned into the kiss but I moved back, just ever so slightly. “You want me? You’re willing to share?”
He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against mine. “Yes.”
“Then show me.” I shifted my hips, causing his dick to slide in between my legs, right over my slit. The clear, warm water created a surreal atmosphere. “Show me that I am worth it.”
He panted, his chest moving in and out in big breaths. “Shit, Elizabeth.”
I leaned over, pressing my breasts against his bare chest. “Show me, Christian. You need to fucking show me, Christian. Because right now, I don’t believe that I can be enough for you all. I don’t believe that I’m worth it.”
Growling, he gripped my ass, squeezing it tight. “Don’t listen to Avery’s lies. The only reason he’s so worked up is because he feels so deeply. And you do that to him. You are everything, Elizabeth. Believe me when
I tell you that.” He groaned as my softness brushed against him. “Right now, I would do anything to slide my dick up inside that sweet pussy of yours. Tell me what to do, and it is done. Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”
“What I want, is for you to tell me why you want it. Why now?”
“Because Pinky, you are worth it. You are my queen, and I will do anything to keep you.”
“But why now?”
He opened his eyes. “Because you need it. I need it. I need to give this to you because you’re hurting and I will do anything to make you feel better.”
I blinked. “Because of Avery? Because he hurt me?”
He shook his head. “No. Because I love you, Pinky. Because I love you so much that it physically hurts when I see you with the other guys. But it tears me apart to think of leaving you, to imagine giving you up. Because I want to smash Avery’s face for leaving you like that. Because I will give anything to take your pain away. Because when I saw you lying on the ground, so torn up and upset, I knew I would do anything to make you feel better.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “Including giving you my heart.”
A warmth washed over me, his words healing me more than his power ever could.
“But what about you, Christian? You need to want this.”
“This is what I want.” He hesitated. “Yes, I want you to myself but I see how much the whole team needs you. I want to hold you and kiss you every morning and yet, I see how happy you make them too. Even stupid Avery. And this decision is finally setting myself free. By making this decision, I can fully be with you.” His lips raked over mine. “By giving this to you, I’m giving myself the greatest gift I can give myself: you.”
I felt so powerful, so cherished and yet, a weight settled in my chest. I needed to be worth his love, to give him everything he ever wanted so that I would be worth what he was giving up.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and rubbed my cheek against his. “What do you want, Christian? Tell me, what do you need?”
