“I just don’t see why—”
I raise my hand, cutting him off mid-sentence. Without another word, Reese and I duck down beside the nearest vehicle. The sound of moaning reaches our ears, and a zombie shuffles toward us, having probably heard the sound of our voices. As it inches closer, I take the time to study it while we wait and see if there are anymore around.
This zombie is in surprisingly good shape considering how long it’s been since the world ended. His face is fully intact, even if his eyes are lifeless and cloudy. His black suit and tie are in tatters and hang off of his gaunt frame, and his dull red hair is falling out in clumps, leaving him bald in some places. The pale, bloated skin of his skull peeks through, looking weathered and slightly yellow.
“Is it alone?”
“I think so,” Reese says, quickly scanning the area around us. “I got it.”
“No, stay here and cover me in case there are more of them,” I say, sliding a knife out of the sheath strapped to my thigh. The long, thin blade shines in the sunlight as I tighten my grip around the handle.
A few more steps puts the zombie near the bumper of our hiding spot. Reese tosses a pebble at a nearby car, making a light clinking sound. The zombie pauses mid-shuffle and turns his head to investigate the noise. I leap from my place behind the vehicle and bring my arm up, plunging the knife into his head.
His body goes still and my knife slides out of his head as he collapses to the ground. He slumps forward and his head presses into my stomach. With a grimace, I shove him away from me, and he falls back into the dirt with a thump. Reese comes up behind me, and I notice a tiny smile on his lips.
“You’ve grown so much since we first met.”
“I’ve been through a lot. I had to grow. If I hadn’t, I’d be long dead by now.”
“You’re a fast learner,” Reese says.
“I had good teachers.” I reach over and elbow him gently. “Come on. Let’s get this done.” His smile instantly vanishes, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes again at his behavior. “Reese, you know that this is the best thing for us.”
“No I don’t,” he mutters stubbornly.
Ignoring him as best as I can, I head over toward the car dealership building. It’s in far better shape than most buildings I’ve seen since the zombie apocalypse started. None of the windows are smashed out, there’s no blood smeared against the walls, and there are only a handful of dead bodies lying around. Judging by the bullet holes in their heads, it looks like someone else already came through here some time ago, probably looking for a safe, reliable vehicle. I hope they left the other keys inside.
I ease the door open and slip inside the darkened building while Reese props the door open, allowing for some light to spill in behind me. On the inside, the place is trashed. Papers and shining keys are strewn all over the floor, a desk has been overturned in the far corner, and a body lies sprawled out across a desk. Dried blood coats the side, probably from the old gun shot square in the center of his forehead.
Reese starts digging through the multitude of keys on the floor while I head over to a door on the far side of the room. It’s slightly ajar, and I nudge it open with the toe of my boot, bringing my gun up, just in case. The room is pitch black, and instead of heading blindly in and hoping for the best, I stand there outside, listening for any sign of movement.
Seconds pass by as my heart pounds in my chest. Just as I start to think the room is empty, I hear the scuff of a shoe on tile, and I take a quick step back. With my finger on the trigger, I wait for the zombie to emerge while I even out my breathing and steady my hand. There’s a low moan from the darkness, and a woman in a gray pencil skirt rushes out at me, her fingers curled into dangerous claws.
I squeeze the trigger.
The woman falls back, hitting the tiled ground so hard her head cracks against the floor.
“You okay?” Reese calls.
“Yeah,” I answer without looking back at him. I stare into the darkness for another minute, making sure nothing else lunges out at me. When I’m finally sure that we’re alone, I nudge the woman’s feet out of the way, and close the door, sealing her body in that tiny bathroom forever. She’ll probably decompose into a pile of fatty soup, and for the first time in months, I feel a twinge of guilt.
Killing them isn’t the same as it was before. If this cure Madison told us about exists and it actually works…that means I just killed a potential person with thoughts and feelings. If they can be healed, and I kill them…isn’t that murder?
A vehicle starts outside, and I force myself to move away from the closed bathroom door. When I get back to the front door, I see a large, silver, four door truck idling in front of the dealership. Reese sits behind the steering wheel, waiting for me. He taps the steering wheel impatiently, and he gives me an irritated glance as I walk over.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Let’s go.”
He tosses me the keys to the jeep, and he waits for me to start it up before he pulls out of the dealership parking lot and eases onto the road. I follow along behind him, going well below the speed limit. I stare out the window while I drive, observing the town around us. There isn’t much left here now, but I suspect there wasn’t much to begin with. There aren’t many cars on the road, and the main street is lined with small, old-fashioned businesses. The only thing even remotely city-like is the Wal-Mart near the heart of town.
We drive around the Wal-Mart parking lot, searching for any sign of life that might be a threat to us. There are about twenty or so zombies wandering around one end of the lot, grouped together like a mindless mob, but we avoid them easily as we park on the opposite end of the lot. I turn off the jeep and hop out, hitting the ground with a loud thump.
Reese takes a clear hose from the back of the jeep, and I grab the three empty gasoline containers beside it. He heads over to the closest vehicle and crouches down near the gas tank. He unscrews the cap, sticks one end of the hose into the tank while I keep watch. Reese starts to cough and I look back just in time to see him spit out a mouthful of precious gasoline. He tucks the end of the hose into the container, and the only sound in the parking lot is the gas as it begins to fill the empty container.
Reese moves on to the next vehicle in line, and he begins the process all over again. I worry about him swallowing any of the gas, and I hope it doesn’t have any adverse affects on his health. I can smell it from where I stand, and I can only imagine how it must taste. Just the thought of having that liquid in my mouth makes me want to gag.
A bird screeches above, and I lift my head to catch a glimpse of the bright blue creature. The sight of something so small and beautiful brings a smile to my lips, and I feel myself begin to relax just a little. I can’t remember the last time I saw something alive that wasn’t terrified or about to die. Just knowing that there is still life out there other than myself has me feeling hopeful for our future.
Once this is all over, everything can begin to heal. We can start over, and someday, this will all just be a nightmare…
Deep down, I know that nothing will ever be the same. The events of the last year will haunt mankind for the rest of eternity, but we’ve proven time and time again that we’re resilient. Like a legendary phoenix, we’ll rise from the ashes and become bigger and better than ever before. Things won’t be the same, but we can make things worthwhile again.
I wonder what kind of life Ryder and I will have once this is all over. Will he get some kind of security job somewhere or will he be a part of the new military? What will I do? I have no skills other than survival. I won’t let myself be a dependant liability ever again, but for now, I have no clue what the future holds for me. I’ll probably end up doing some mundane house work, or maybe taking care of other people’s children while they work.
The thought of being useless instantly puts me in a bad mood, and I feel myself frown. I head over to where Reese is crouching beside yet another vehicle, and I try not to let my feelings fester int
o something dark. Instead, I opt for conversation. “Reese, why do you think there are so many abandoned cars here? They clearly have gas, so why didn’t they get out of this parking lot?”
“My guess is that people flocked here during the first days of the outbreak in an attempt to stock up on supplies, and some zombies probably made it inside, and a lot of people died. That’s why their cars are still here, because most of them never left.”
Six months ago, his words would have sent a chill down my spine, and the thought of all the people that died here would haunt my dreams. But it hardly affects me anymore, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I don’t want to lose my humanity and become a cold, heartless monster, but part of me will always be glad that the fear is gone. If only I could get rid of the nightmares as well. I function much better when I’m not scared of my own shadow, but I wonder if turning off my fears will end up hurting me more than it helps in the long run.
Reese gets off his knees and brushes off his pants. “I think we’re good to go. Fifteen gallons isn’t gonna get us far, but it’s a start. Hopefully we’ll be able to find other places to siphon from on the road.” He glances over his shoulder at me. “Or we could just stay home and not worry about it.”
I roll my eyes, making sure he can see. “Reese, we’ve already had this conversation.”
“Well we’re gonna have it again,” he says tightly, taking a few quick steps toward me. He grips my shoulders tightly and forces me to look him in the eyes. “Are you prepared to lose some of us?”
“Reese—”
“I’m serious, Sam. There’s a chance—a pretty damn good one if you ask me—that you could lose all of us on this stupid trip. Could you live with yourself knowing that we were gone and never coming back? What if you lost my brother? What if you lost Madison? What would you do?”
Without breaking eye contact, I take a deep breath and answer him. “I would finish what we’re about to set out to do, and when the cure works, you guys could come back to me.” This next part is going to hurt, but he has to hear it. “But even if you guys didn’t come back, it would still be worth it in the end. A chance to set things right is worth whatever price I have to pay.”
I can see the hurt in Reese’s eyes as what I say sinks in, and he takes a step back, sliding out of arm’s reach. “You would sacrifice all of us?”
“The world is far more important than any one person, including myself. If I have to die to get this cure out, so be it. I know the sacrifice will be worth it in the end. The same goes for you and everyone else I care about, and I’m not sorry for that.”
“You’re not?” he asks incredulously.
“No,” I answer firmly. “Maybe I should be, but I’m really not. I would never be able to live with the guilt if something happened to you or anyone sitting back at the house, but it’s a risk we have to take. It’s for the greater good. You can think I’m heartless, or even crazy, but I don’t care. I know what’s right, and I know how important it is we get this done.”
“Sam, you’re making a huge mistake, and you won’t figure it out until it’s too late.”
“I disagree. I’m sorry you don’t agree with me. I’m sorry you don’t see how important this is. You know, you don’t have to come with us. If you want to stay behind, then go ahead, stay. But I am going, and the others are coming with me.”
“Sam—”
“Let’s get back to the others. They’re probably starting to worry about us by now.”
I reach over and grab one of the full five gallon gas cans with both hands and half carry half drag it over to the back of Reese’s new truck. Reese comes up behind me and takes the gas can from my hands, lifting it up into the back of the truck with such ease that I’m actually jealous. I glance down discreetly at my body, and I wish I was in better shape. Ryder has helped me train after he started working out again, but so far I haven’t seen much progress.
I’ve gained a couple measly pounds of muscle overall, but I still don’t have the strength I should. I’ll probably never be able to carry Ryder or Reese if they were to get hurt, but in my current shape, I might be able to drag them. I’m not sure how much good that will do though if we’re being chased by flesh-eating monsters. I hate knowing that I’m too weak to save Ryder or Reese if something happens to them, but there isn’t much I can do about it. I just have to keep training and hope for the best.
The sound of the engine roaring to life startles me out of my thoughts, and Reese looks at me with a frown on his face. “You’ve been doing that far too much lately, and it needs to stop.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mutter tightly as I walk by the open truck door.
“Yes, you do. This deep thinking thing is going to get you killed, Sam. If you want to daydream or think about things, do it at home, where you’re safe. Not out here in the open, where any number of things can go wrong. You’re going to get yourself killed if you can’t control your thoughts. Don’t be that idiot that gets other people killed.”
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I say, even though I know it probably will. Lately all I’ve been able to do is think. I think when I’m preparing food for everyone. I think when I’m bathing. I think when I’m working out. I think in dangerous situations like this. I even think late at night when I’m in Ryder’s arms. I don’t know if I can turn off my mind anymore, and that honestly frightens me.
I won’t be the reason someone else dies.
I climb into the jeep and slam the door a little harder than necessary. Sighing, I start the jeep and follow Reese through the empty parking lot. We drive close by the small group of zombies, and I try to avoid their dull and lifeless eyes. I know if I make eye contact with them, I’ll most likely start wondering if the person they once were is still in there somewhere, trapped beneath sickness and impulse control.
If I think of them as potential humans, I’ll never be able to kill them, and me or someone else will end up paying the price. I can’t be stupid about this. They’re not human…yet. They’re still monsters, and I have to keep thinking of them that way.
Chapter Two
When we get back home after our supply run, Ryder and Aaron go over every inch of Reese’s new truck, looking for imperfections. I catch snippets of their conversation, but I don’t understand most of it since they use the proper mechanic terms, and I’ve never been that great with the subject of vehicles. The best I can do is drive one, and even then I’m a little iffy about it. But if it were to break down somewhere, I would be in so much trouble.
Rather than stay outside and watch the guys look over our new ride, I head into the kitchen. There is an open can of peaches left over from the lunch the others had about an hour ago, and I dig in with a plastic fork. Daisy sits at the kitchen table, sipping at a bottle of water. She has this look in her eyes that I’ve noticed every once in a while. It’s a look that says “I’ve lost someone important to me; someone that I’ll never get back”. Madison told me that Daisy lost her twin sister Rose when their school safe haven got overrun and burned to the ground, so I assume it’s about her.
“You wanna talk?” I ask.
“My sister got her throat ripped out,” she mumbles. I wince at the dark imagery that flashes through my mind, but don’t interrupt her. “I wonder if the cure will work on her. I mean, if her throat got ripped out, and she became human again, wouldn’t she just die again? This time from blood loss?”
“I don’t know,” I admit as gently as possible. “There’s still so much we don’t know about this cure, like if it will even be effective, or if it’s just a dream. But I assume that people missing half of their heads or any major organs won’t be up and moving around for long.”
“I’m torn between being happy at the thought of maybe seeing my sister again, and being miserable at the thought of going through hell, only to lose her a second time. I’ve managed to deal with the pain so far,” she says, glancing down at the scar on her wrist. “But I don’
t know if I can handle any more pain. If I lost her again, I don’t know if I’d want to continue living. Do you think I could find something else to live for?” she asks, looking at me with wide eyes.
“I’m not sure, but you could start by trying to live for yourself. We’ll hopefully have a whole new life ahead of us soon. We’ll be able to rebuild, and you could be a part of that if you want. In this new world, we’ll need everyone to pitch in. You could be an assistant midwife and learn to birth babies, or you could learn to be a mechanic and fix our machines, or even a farmer that grows our crops. Whatever you want to do, you’ll be able to do it. With or without your sister.”
Daisy nods sadly. “I’m pretty used to doing things without my sister. I might be able to live out the rest of my life, but there are all of these dark thoughts in the back of my mind telling me I’m wrong. I don’t remember a whole lot of the few hours after my sister died, but I remember how I was after she was gone. I remember how I was when I did this—” She glances down at her wrist again. “I don’t ever want to go back to that, but what if I can’t help it?”
“Those dark thoughts are wrong. You’re much stronger than you think, Daisy. You’re a survivor, and if you’ve made it this far, I’ll bet you can make it through just about anything. Don’t be so quick to doubt yourself. I think you’d be surprised what you can do if you don’t give up on yourself.”
“You don’t ever want to give up?”
“No, I don’t. Even if I lose the people I love, I know they would never want me to give up. In fact, I can imagine how pissed off Madison would be if I did give up.” Daisy grins. It’s weak and sad, but it’s still a smile, and I’ll take it for now.
“You’re right. She’d be so mad if we gave up. Rose would be angry, too.”
“Remember that.”
“I will,” she promises.
I finish off the last of the peaches and grab a long strip of beef jerky off the counter. While I munch on the peppered meat, I head into the living room, where Madison and Naomi are busy packing up what supplies we’ve managed to stockpile since Madison’s arrival. They’ve got a few of those cardboard frames that canned goods are often packaged in, and they’re busy sorting our food into them.
Zombie World (Zombie Apocalypse #3) Page 2
