“I’m with you, Sam,” Daisy says. “I think we should help them. After we find the cure, we might come back this way if we go home to the cabin. And we can never have too many friends. Who’s to say we won’t need them in the future?”
Todd flicks his head, shifting his hair out of his face as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t like the look of these guys, but our options for friends are pretty limited. I say we feed them for tonight, and send them Tuyen’s way. She’ll probably be a better judge of what’s good for her kids than we will. If she wants them, good. If not, she’ll probably at least give them some supplies and send them on their merry way.”
“Do we take a vote? Or do we let Ryder and Aaron decide?” Daisy asks.
“Let’s vote,” Madison says. “All in favor of helping these people raise your hand.”
My hand goes up, along with Madison, Aaron, Todd, and Daisy. Only Ryder, Reese, and Naomi leave their hands down, and they don’t look too happy at the outcome…at me siding against them. Ryder scowls at me. “I guess it’s settled then, Sam. You’re getting your way.” I can’t tell if he sounds more angry, or more resigned, but I don’t like the tone in his voice. It looks like this decision is just one more thing for us to disagree on, and I don’t like the thought of fighting with Ryder later.
But I can’t think about that now. I have to hold my head high and stand behind my decision, even if it puts Ryder and I at odds later. I try to get a glimpse of his face, trying to gauge his reaction, but it’s stony and impassive as we walk back to Bear and Carla. I have no doubt he’ll let me know how he really feels later when we’re alone, but for now, he’s shutting me out to get this done.
Carla sneers as we get closer, but Bear shoulders his way in front of her, making it so we deal with him and not her. I can tell from the look on his face that he’s probably had to deal with her bad attitude on more than one occasion, and it looks like he might be pretty sick of it. But what can he do? It’s not like there are tons of other survivors to take her place. They’re stuck with each other, and if he’s smart, he’ll make the best of it.
“Our group talked, and we came to a decision,” Ryder starts. “There’s more than enough room for us all in this motel, and we have a few spare supplies. Your group is welcome to join us for dinner, on the condition that you give up your weapons. There’s always added safety in numbers, and there aren’t enough of you to last out here alone for long.”
Carla’s eyes narrow, but Bear gives us what looks like a very relieved smile. “Thank you for your hospitality,” he says, extending his hand. Ryder takes it and shakes it slowly. “Any way we can repay the favor, we will. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask us.”
I glance over at Ryder, which doesn’t escape Bear’s notice. I think I see him tense up just a bit, but he obviously doesn’t see me as much of a threat since he doesn’t pull away from us. “For now, let’s get you guys fed. You look like you could use it,” Ryder says.
He leads us all up to the second floor of the motel. Our group is carrying the last of our supplies with us. We don’t dare leave anything of value out with the vehicles in case anyone was to try and take them. Some things are more easily replaced than others. Canned goods can be found in most abandoned houses, and water can be gathered from any source and boiled and purified well enough to drink.
But there’s a finite amount of ammunition left in the world, and nobody left to produce more of it. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Ryder could probably manage to make his own ammunition with the right supplies and equipment, I think to myself. I think that’s something people have done in the past. It’s not all made in factories somewhere, right? I’ll have to ask him later, if he’s not giving me the silent treatment.
We come to one of the rooms on the very end, as far away from the stairs as we can get. Ryder holds the door open for me, which I take it means he isn’t too angry at me. I lead the way inside and set a box of canned goods down on the entertainment center next to a small television set. The others start piling supplies on the floor around the entertainment center, and once it’s all piled together, it actually does look like quite a bit of stuff.
Bear and his group hungrily eye our supplies, which of course gets Reese and Ryder bristling. Like a wild animal, their hackles are up, warning intruders to stay away. Ignoring them, I grab a can of thick vegetable beef soup and pull the tab, cracking it open. I give it a quick whiff while Daisy and Naomi search for some silverware and dishes. We won’t have enough to go around, but I’m sure Bear and his group won’t mind eating from a can, especially if this is really the first time they’ve eaten in a while.
I pass the can over to Bear, along with a couple of plastic spoons. He immediately passes the can of soup off to someone else in his group, letting them eat first. Once again, I’m struck by how similar his actions are to Ryder’s—that’s something he would absolutely do for anyone in our group. I know from watching Ryder that a great leader always takes care of those in his care before himself.
I grab another can of food and pass it off to Bear. We pass out food amongst ourselves until we’re sure everyone has something to eat. We’re sharing a can between two people, but pairing some trail mix with it makes up for the smaller portions. It’s not a feast, but it’s enough to keep us going until morning when we can eat again.
We dig into the food, happy to be able to unwind after the long day and relax in some relative safety. With our group as big as it is, it would take a lot of zombies or a lot of enemy firepower to get the best of us. We’re too well armed and we have high ground that’s accessible only by one stairway, which we can block off with any of the dressers in these motel rooms.
That’s actually not a bad idea…
“Ryder,” I say, turning to him. “We should block off that stairway with one of the dressers from one of these rooms. That way nothing can get up to this floor. Zombies may not be able to break down a bolted door, but those windows aren’t bullet-proof. And it’s not like we’re gonna use these dressers for anything,” I point out.
Ryder grunts. “Aaron, you and Todd go move the dresser from the last room closest to the stairs. Naomi, you go with them. Stand watch and make sure they’re okay. There’s no telling what could be in the area.”
Todd doesn’t look happy about being elected to do manual labor. Before he can open his mouth and complain, Bear clears his throat. “Why don’t you let me help out? It’s the least I can do to repay you for your hospitality. We’d be in a sore spot if it weren’t for your group.”
Ryder considers it, and nobody rushes him. Finally, he nods. “Alright, as long as it’s okay with Aaron.”
“You won’t catch me complaining about an extra helping hand,” Aaron says with a grateful smile. “Shouldn’t take too long with some help from a guy your size.”
Bear laughs. “It comes in handy from time to time.” He follows Aaron and Naomi to the door.
“Bear—” Carla hisses.
He simply waves a hand, dismissing whatever she was going to say. He doesn’t look too concerned about being alone with strangers, but Carla looks livid. Whether her anger is directed at him, their situation, us, or nothing in general I’m not sure, but there’s no mistaking the rage in her eyes.
She huffs angrily and sits back with her can of Vienna sausages. She ignores the fork offered to her by an ever helpful Daisy and just uses her fingers. She licks them clean after every bite, like she can’t imagine wasting one precious drop of that gravy. I can only imagine how long it’s been since she’s washed her hands and what might possibly be on them.
I can feel how tense Ryder is sitting beside me as he watches Carla. He doesn’t say a word, but I know he’s angry and probably thinking about what he’s going to say to me. I know him well enough to know that he’ll take the first watch, and he’ll ask me to stay up with him for a bit so we can talk about what happened today.
I’m not sure how that talk will go, but I know
that Ryder won’t stay too angry with me, at least not for long. He knows that I’m a caring person who believes in helping others wherever possible, and I know that’s one of the things he loves about me most of the time, because it balances out his less caring, more isolated world view. I help him see the side of the situation he doesn’t fully understand.
Sure enough, after the guys and Naomi return from blocking off the stairway with a dresser, Ryder gets to his feet and grabs his rifle. “I’ll take first watch, as usual. Get some rest everyone. We have a long way to go in the morning. Reese, I’ll wake you in a couple hours to relieve me. Aaron will take his turn after you, then Madison.”
“What about me?” I ask quietly.
“You can keep watch tomorrow night. But for now, I want you to come out and keep me company for a bit. I wanna talk to you.” He keeps his voice low so nobody around us can hear our conversation, and I’m thankful for that. Everyone in our group has to know that Ryder isn’t happy, but I’m glad he isn’t using this opportunity to try and embarrass or shame me for the stance I took.
I follow Ryder out to the balcony overlooking the parking lot, closing the door behind me to give us some privacy. Ryder crouches down, balancing his rifle across his knees. Turning around, I lean against the railing and look up at the stars. Strangely, they give me a sense of peace. They’re one of the few things that are the same as before all this happened, and they’ll stay that way no matter what.
“Sam…”
His voice is slow and deeper than normal.
“I know you’re upset—”
“I’m not that upset. I’m more worried than anything.”
Sighing, I turn to face him. “Ryder, it’s not your job to worry about all of us all the time.”
“Yes, it is. It comes with being the leader. It’s my job to worry about my friends, and protect them from any threats. Any threats. You let those threats get close to us.”
“They’re not threats,” I say. “They’re good people.”
His lifts his face to look at me, eyes boring into mine. He looks so tired, my heart aches just looking at him and knowing I’m partly the cause of his stress. “You can’t know that,” he says slowly. “I would think after this long, you would have learned that we can’t trust anyone but each other.”
“There are still good people out there, Ryder. What about Tuyen? She gave us food to help us out even though she didn’t have to. She takes care of a bunch of young children—even though it would be easier for her if she only worried about herself—and she still keeps going. Are you saying she can’t be trusted? What about the people that helped Madison and her group? You think they can’t be trusted?”
“Sam—”
“We’re not alone in the world. There could still be a lot of people left out there, and we know they’re not all going to be friendly. We’ll need as many allies as we can get, and if we turn people away, we could end up making more enemies. We can’t afford to isolate people, Ryder. We need to take every opportunity we can to make friends. I’m not sorry that we invited these people to stay with us for the night. They needed it, and we may need them in the future. At the very least, we can repay Tuyen’s kindness.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I worry that I did the exact thing I tried to avoid—making things worse between us. So I sit in silence and wait for him to say something, anything.
Minutes go by while he sits in silence, and I try not to fidget restlessly. Finally, he speaks. “You’re too idealistic, and it’s going to get somebody killed. I just hope it’s nobody we care about.”
My hands clench the railing behind me until my knuckles are white. My entire body freezes at his words as they slowly sink in. He thinks I’ll be the death of someone. Someone in this group! I can still hear the pity in his voice. It should anger me, but it doesn’t. All it does is weigh down on my heart like an anvil, crushing my good feelings about my decision to let Bear and his group join us for the night.
“I’m not saying this to be mean,” Ryder continues. “I’m just trying to let you know how much any one person’s decisions can affect us. You need to understand how things can go wrong, even when you have the best of intentions.”
There’s a lump in my throat that’s nearly impossible to swallow, and it feels like there’s a lead weight settled squarely in the pit of my stomach. I let go of the railing slowly, unsure if my feet will give out on me or not. They wobble a bit, but they hold long enough for me to turn and face Ryder. “If you honestly feel that way about my decision, there’s nothing left for us to talk about.”
Without another word, I leave Ryder out in the cold, crouching down by the balcony with his rifle in his lap. I head back inside where it’s warmer, hoping to calm myself down, but I can’t get his words out of my head. They repeat over and over again, and they won’t let me relax. I picture Reese or Madison or any of our group members dying because of a decision I made, and my stomach clenches painfully.
I take a seat beside Madison, and she gives me a curious look, one that tells me she’s eager to know why I look so upset. But I can’t answer her unspoken question. I can’t tell her what Ryder said to me. If I do, that will just make it all the more real to me, and I don’t want that.
I sit in silence in the corner. Aaron and Reese both keep a sharp eye on Bear and his group, but they don’t appear to be giving us any trouble. Bear and Carla sit together with their heads down, and it looks like he might be trying to keep her calm and relaxed. Her hands are clenched and her shoulders are tense while his are more relaxed, and he has his back to us, creating a shield between Carla and the rest of our group.
Looking over, I catch Reese’s eye and he gives me a slight nod of the head. He’s watching Bear and Carla like a hawk and he’ll let us know if anything seems suspicious. He jerks his head toward the door, and I get what he’s trying to say. We’re splitting up for the night. He’ll say in this room with Naomi, Aaron, and Madison so there’s plenty of people to watch Bear and his group. That leaves me with Ryder, Daisy, and Todd.
There are only four of them, and Bear forced them to relinquish their weapons in exchange for our food and hospitality. Surprisingly, Bear didn’t put up much of a fight about the weapons, handing his over without so much as a second thought. Carla nearly refused, but one look from Bear and she was handing hers over right behind him, with a sour look on her face the whole time.
I head for the door, and Daisy jumps to her feet and falls in behind me. I open the door and let her go first, and she quickly rushes out with a quick glance over her shoulder at Carla and Bear. She’s obviously nervous of Carla, even though she was one of the people to speak up on their behalf before we took our vote. I guess she thought Carla might warm up to us if we fed them, but since her steely demeanor hasn’t changed, Daisy isn’t sure what to make of her yet.
And neither am I for that matter.
Closing the door behind us, we walk in silence to the room next door, passing behind Ryder in the process. He doesn’t look away from the parking lot as we approach, and he doesn’t even acknowledge our presence. My hand reaches out and lightly brushes his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. He remains silent, and I try not to let it bother me.
He’s so mad. What am I going to do?
Daisy and I close the motel room door firmly behind us, and she heads for the twin-sized bed furthest from the door, leaving the other one for me. I’m not sure where Todd is going to sleep, but I’m too tired to worry about it too much. I’m more worried about what Ryder is going to do when he gets off his watch. Will he ignore me or will he forgive me?
How long can he stay mad?
Chapter Six
In the morning, the first thing I notice when I wake is Ryder’s arm around my waist. I can feel his warmth at my back, and his chest pressing against me as it rises and falls steadily with each breath he takes. He’s snoring lightly in my ear, and I don’t mind the sound at all. It’s actually kind of soothing, because it tells me that Ryder
is catching up on some much needed rest.
I’m surprised he came to bed at all, let alone coming into bed with me. After our talk last night, it seemed like we might be doomed to be at each other’s throats for the near future. But it looks like he isn’t all that mad anymore if he’s curled up so tightly with me. I don’t know if he spent all night thinking about it and finally saw things my way, or if he just decided it didn’t matter and wanted some comfort.
Either way, I don’t care. He’s here with me, and I intend to enjoy this moment.
I crane my head around—careful not to wake Ryder from his sleep—and notice that both Daisy and Todd are gone already. That leaves me with some peace and quiet, and some privacy. Just the two of us, for the first time in what seems like forever. I roll over as quietly and easily as I can so I can watch Ryder while he sleeps. He stirs, but his eyes don’t open and his breathing remains slow and peaceful.
He looks so much younger when he sleeps, as if the last nine months or so has never happened. Like he hasn’t had to watch friends and loved ones get eaten or killed by other survivors. His hair is a little dirty and grimy looking, and his facial hair has grown out into more of a beard than just stubble. I’ve never been a huge fan of beards on men, but Ryder looks less like a lumberjack and more like a warrior.
If the world wasn’t at an end, I’d be content to lie here all day long and just admire him. I want to reach out and gently trace the lines of his face, and lovingly brush the contours of his jaw. He looks so much more gentle while asleep, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. I wish even his waking moments could be so carefree, but I doubt he’ll ever be able to feel that again.
This world was made for the strong, for people like him. He wouldn’t let himself be carefree even if he could. After everything, he’ll always be this hardened survivor, with a fighter’s mentality. If we find this cure and it works out for us, civilization could have a chance to get back on track. Things might not ever be normal again, but they can be safer and more promising. But where does that leave Ryder?
Zombie World (Zombie Apocalypse #3) Page 8
