Ryder sighs. “I don’t feel good about leaving a young girl behind to die, but I can’t justify risking any of our lives to bring her along. She’ll need constant supervision, and she’s just another mouth to feed, not to mention she’s of no use to us. She’ll have plenty of supplies here to tide her over until we get to Detroit and fix things. She should be fine.”
“I don’t believe this,” Daisy says, shaking her head. There are tears in her eyes, but her voice is strong and sure. “I’m just as useless as she is! Would you leave me behind?”
“Daisy, it’s not the same—”
“It is!” she screams at Ryder, startling us all. “She’s weak and useless, and so am I. The only difference is that you know and like me, therefore you can’t justify leaving me behind to die. But because she’s a stranger, suddenly that makes it okay in your mind. Do you not see how awful that is?”
“Daisy, we have a very important job to do, and we can’t afford to be taking this kind of chance, not when we’re so close to the finish line. What if this girl hurts somebody?”
“And what if she helps us? If we leave her here, even with supplies, she’s going to die. She’s confused and disoriented and she doesn’t know how to properly take care of herself yet. We can’t just leave her behind. What kind of people does that make us?”
“It makes us survivors,” Reese says.
“It makes us murders.” Daisy glares at Reese, refusing to back down, perhaps for the first time her life. “I won’t become a cold blooded killer. Letting her die is the same as killing her yourselves. I won’t have any part of it.” She crosses her arms over her chest, looking at me expectantly.
I don’t know what to say. The truth is I don’t want this girl to come with us. We sacrificed Naomi to bring this girl back, and there’s no telling what she might do to us. Dustin’s aggression is not something we can just overlook, even if Daisy wants us to. Ryder is right. Best case scenario, she’s just another mouth to feed, another person to take care of. Worst case, she’s an active threat to our group and may end up becoming violent and killing someone.
“Daisy—”
“I don’t believe it,” she says, her voice small and quiet now, sounding defeated. “You’re all willing to let her die, just because she might hurt someone.”
“Daisy, we have a very important job to do, and we can’t afford to take risks at a time like this,” Aaron says kindly. “Going to Detroit is a big enough risk in and of itself. We can’t risk letting anything get in the way or our mission. Hannah might trip us up at the finish line, and we can’t allow that. I’m sorry.”
“If you go without her, you go without me.”
“You would stay here with her?”
She holds her head high. “If you would leave her behind so easily, I have no reason to believe you’d treat me any differently. The second I become a real burden, you guys will do the same to me.”
“Daisy, we would never leave you behind.”
“Why? What makes me any different than her? Is it because I’m your friend and she’s not? Is that it? I thought we were doing this to save people. How are we saving people if we leave them behind to die?”
“Daisy, the lives of the entire world are worth far more than the life of one girl. It’s a necessary evil.”
“So where do you guys draw the line on who we save and who we let die?” She looks at Ryder. “I know you wouldn’t let Sam die, even if the whole world had to burn because of it. You’d do anything you could to save her, no matter how many people got hurt in the process. You’ve done it before. You let Naomi die out in those woods because Sam’s life was in danger, and you put her life above everyone else’s.”
“Daisy!” Madison gasps. “Ryder did not let Naomi die, and he certainly wouldn’t let the entire world burn just to save Sam.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I’d kill him if he ever even considered it. He’s too responsible.”
Daisy scoffs. “Whatever you say,” she says, rolling her eyes. “But I know what I know. He’s picking and choosing who is worth saving and who isn’t based on how much he cares about them. And I know he cares about me least of all out of this group, which means I’m next on the chopping block. You don’t have to worry about it, because you’re his girlfriend. And Reese doesn’t have to worry about it because they’re brothers. But the rest of you,” she says, looking around, “are all expendable without a second thought. That’s the kind of man you’re all following.”
Ryder’s hands clench and his eyes narrow into dangerous slits. I move to his side to put my hand on his shoulder but he shakes me off easily. He’s nearly shaking with rage, and I can’t say I blame him. Ryder has sacrificed so much to keep all of us alive as best as he could, and to hear Daisy whine about a tough decision he’s made would piss anyone off. He’s gone without sleep, without food, put himself in dangerous and life threatening situations, and made the hard decisions nobody else had the guts to.
“Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for this group,” he says slowly, deliberately. His voice is so tense I’m afraid he might snap. “I’ve seen and done things you can’t possibly imagine, all so that none of you lose sleep at night. I do what I have to in order to make your lives better, and this is the thanks I get? Some little brat mouthing off to me for trying to keep her alive? I don’t fucking think so. If you want to stay here with Hannah, fine. Be my guest. But I will not endanger the safety of my group just to make you happy.”
I can’t remember ever hearing Ryder sound so cold and harsh, and it bothers me that he can talk to Daisy this way. But I do kind of understand where he’s coming from. Daisy is being a little unreasonable, and Ryder’s worries about Hannah aren’t exactly over exaggerated. She’s a danger to herself and to us, but Daisy’s caring and selfless attitude won’t allow her to leave Hannah behind, no matter what. I wonder if she’ll really stay behind, because I know Ryder isn’t going to let her in the car with us.
Aaron clears his throat, breaking the intensity of the moment. “I can’t leave Daisy behind, not in a place like this. She’s my responsibility, and I’ll take responsibility for Hannah as well, if that’s what it takes.”
Ryder glares at Aaron. “Neither of them are welcome in my car, and I don’t know who to put with you.” He looks at our group, trying to mentally divide the groups evenly, making sure that one group isn’t more well off than the other. “Reese, I want you in the car with Madison, Todd, Daisy, and Hannah. Aaron, you’ll ride with me and Sam. It’ll be cramped in your car,” he says to Reese, “But I don’t feel good about leaving Hannah in a car without more people around her.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Daisy says, exasperated.
“Shut up!” Ryder shouts. She recoils back, withering up like a shriveled rose underneath his hostile gaze. “It’s very clear to me that you don’t fully understand the danger this girl presents, and it’s even more abundantly clear that you don’t give a damn about respect. I’m allowing this time bomb to come with us against my better judgment because I respect Aaron’s decisions, and you’re still acting like a spoiled brat. You’re getting your way, now be quiet.”
Daisy is crying, and my heart pulls painfully. “Ryder, you’re out of line,” Madison says, glaring at him as she puts her arm around Daisy’s shoulder.
“No, he’s not,” I say, defensive in a second. “He’s right to be angry. She’s putting us in danger and you’re just ignoring it! Ryder’s trying to do what’s right for this group, which is more than any of you does!”
Madison turns her steely gaze on me, but I refuse to look away. She can’t intimidate me, not on something like this. Ryder is a wonderful leader, always thinking of the safety of others before even himself, and I won’t let anyone make him out to be the villain in this, even Madison.
“Guys, stop.” Aaron puts his hands up, getting between me and Madison. “Fighting is not going to solve anything. We’ve come to an arrangement, and that’s the end of this. We have to rely on each
other far too much to let something like this come between us. No more fighting.” He looks at Daisy. “Go and get Hannah ready for the trip. Find her some warm, clean clothes. Madison, go pack some more food to compensate for her coming with us. Reese and I will search for some more ammunition.”
The room quickly empties, with Madison giving me one last look that nearly makes me go after her and finish this argument. But Ryder’s hand on my shoulder stops me, and I look up at him, unsurprised to find his eyes gentle and his brows furrowed with worry. “Ryder?”
“I made the right decision the first time around, didn’t I?” he asks, looking down at me. “About wanting Hannah to stay behind?”
“Of course,” I say quickly. “I agree with you, and I know Reese did as well. And I noticed that Todd didn’t say anything, even when Madison said you were out of line. And Aaron’s just trying to keep the peace between our groups. He doesn’t really believe that Daisy is right; he just didn’t wanna lose any more members of his group. And if Naomi were here, she would have agreed with you.”
He sighs. “This feels wrong,” he says, running a hand nervously through his shortened hair. “I don’t want that girl with us, Sam. She’s dangerous, and she’s unpredictable. We’re about to take the biggest risk of our lives, we don’t need any more fuel to add to this fire.”
“Reese will keep an eye on her,” I assure him. “Nothing will escape his notice, and if any trouble arises, he’ll know how to handle it.”
“Daisy doesn’t respect me anymore because of that decision.”
“No, she doesn’t. But she’s naïve, even if she doesn’t think she is. She’ll learn better in the future.”
He raises and eyebrow at me. “Oh, she’s naïve, huh?”
“The difference between the two of us is that I know I can be naïve at times. Like with Bear and his group. You were right to be wary of them, and it was naïve of me to trust them so easily. Even though things worked out for us in that instance, there’s no guarantee it’ll be that good next time, and I learned that after our talk, it just took me awhile to see it. Daisy just has to learn that lesson for herself.”
“I just hope nobody else gets hurt in the process,” Ryder mutters.
“You’ll be there to protect us if they do.”
He squeezes my hand, and we head back to our room to pack our meager belongings.
Chapter Nineteen
Ryder opens the gate from the control room, and we set off towards the woods. I notice that he doesn’t even spare Hannah a second glance, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes are wide and staring, like she’s not really seeing anything around her, and it’s really creeping me out. The only one who doesn’t seem to be affected is Daisy, but maybe she’s just better at hiding it than the rest of us, or maybe she doesn’t want Ryder to think that she regrets asking Hannah to come along.
We’ve refilled our backpacks with plenty of food and water bottles, along with a bit of ammunition Aaron found in a security room the guards must have used before everyone at the lab died. It isn’t much, but we’re hopeful that it’ll get us to Detroit, or at least to Chicago. Hopefully once we’re there, we’ll be able to rest for a bit and refuel, and without Daisy and Hannah, we’ll be able to move more freely, as awful as that sounds.
I walk beside Ryder, trying to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t explode or do anything rash. I can feel Reese watching us from in back, where he splits his time between watching Hannah for any signs of trouble and watching his brother. The rest of the group feels pretty segregated, with Madison and Todd walking with Daisy and Hannah, kind of ignoring me and Ryder up front. Aaron hangs off to our left, not really acknowledging anyone in the group. He’s focused entirely on our surroundings.
We reach the river easily enough, but it takes a lot of effort to convince Daisy to cross it. In the end, Madison has to help her across, risking her own life in the process. Todd looks on disapprovingly, and I know just how he feels. Hannah crosses the fallen tree with surprising ease for someone with basic motor functions, and I wonder just how aware the girl is. Is it possible she’s functioning on autopilot, sort of like a robot?
Everything about this girl creeps me out to my very core. She stares at everything but sees nothing, she still walks like a zombie, and sometimes when I look back at her, she’ll close her eyes and twitch, as if she’s remembering something from when she was a zombie. It’s enough to make me move closer to Ryder, as far away from Hannah as I can get. And I know I’m not the only one noticing her weird behavior, because Todd pulls away from Madison when she refuses to leave Daisy’s side, and he joins Aaron up front. Even Reese is pulling a little farther back, putting some distance between himself and Daisy and Hannah.
Aaron takes out a lone zombie shuffling about, using his knife and driving it into the skull. It drops to the ground, and I look back at Hannah to gage her reaction. She’s stopped, staring at the zombie, wide-eyed and shaking. Daisy puts a comforting hand on Hannah’s shoulder, and the girl flinches and ducks away, swatting at Daisy’s hand. Her nails connect with Daisy’s wrist, cutting into the skin. Daisy hisses in pain, and Ryder brings his weapon up, pointing it directly at Hannah’s chest.
Everyone around us freezes. Hannah looks around, shivering and fearful at seeing multiple weapons pointed at her, like she doesn’t understand what she just did was wrong. I move to Madison’s side and look at Daisy’s wrist, looking for any signs of bleeding, but find none. She has a couple of red marks down her wrist, but they haven’t broken the skin, and they don’t look bad.
“She’s fine,” I say, looking at both Ryder and Reese. “No need to freak out.”
Ryder slowly lowers his weapon, and Reese and Aaron follow suit.
“What did I do?” Hannah asks, looking around frantically once there are no more weapons in her face. “I don’t understand.”
“Hannah, you scratched Daisy,” Madison says. She turns Daisy’s wrist to show Hannah the marks she made. “You have to be careful. Some of us think you’re too dangerous to be around, even if you are just a girl.”
“My name is Hannah, but I don’t identify as a girl…”
Daisy’s eyes light up. “I’m sorry, I’ve been referring to you as a girl this whole time! Do you go by another name? What pronouns do you use?”
Hannah blushes. “She and her are fine for now. I was in the middle of figuring things out before. If I figure it out now, I’ll let you know.” She frowns, getting closer to Daisy’s wrist. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she says quietly. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” Daisy says with a sincere smile. “You’re going through a rough time right now, and we just have to be a little patient and understanding. It’ll all be fine.” She looks at the rest of the group. “She’s doing fine. Let’s keep going.”
Ryder shakes his head, but turns his back on Daisy and Hannah and starts walking again. I follow along behind him, trying to put even more distance between myself and Hannah now that I’ve seen her first outburst. All Daisy was trying to do was comfort her, and she lashed out violently. Even though it was just a couple of scratches this time, there’s no telling what might happen next time. What if she snaps and seriously hurts one of us? And if she does, it’ll almost certainly be Daisy because she’s the only one that fully trusts this girl and isn’t on her guard.
We make it back to the vehicles with no more problems or delays, and I’m glad to find that the windows are still intact. I guess not many people come through this section of Montana, and that’s good for us. I don’t know what we’d do if our vehicles had been stolen from us—even though we originally stole them.
Ryder and I load our supplies into the back of the truck. Aaron slings his backpack next to ours, but he doesn’t look too happy about it. “I don’t like this,” he says. “I trust Reese to watch out for any signs of danger, but Madison and Daisy are too soft to handle this and Todd certainly doesn’t give a damn. Someone’s gonna get hurt.”
“Reese has got t
his,” I say confidently. “He’s smart, resourceful, and observant. Everything he needs to be right now. They’re going to be just fine.”
Aaron nods, but he doesn’t look too convinced. He gives one final look at the jeep that was as full as it could be, and he hops into the truck beside me. It’s almost a little strange riding with Aaron instead of Reese, since whenever we have to split up for something, we’ve always generally split up into our own respective groups, unless those groups put lovers together. I’ve worked with Todd so that he wasn’t left to work with Madison, but usually I work with Reese or Naomi.
Just the mere thought of Naomi’s name nearly has me in tears. I bite my lip and look down at my hands folded neatly in my lap, and I try not to fidget. But I can’t help it. Her last moments come back to me in vivid detail. I can hear her harsh breathing as she struggled to keep going. I can smell her blood as it soaked through her clothes. And I can see the fear and desperation in her eyes when she realized we were leaving her behind.
She should still be here with us, not Hannah…
The fury that burns inside of me is almost as scary as Hannah’s little outburst earlier. I’m not sure where this sudden anger and hostility is coming from, but I don’t like it. I was even hostile towards Madison earlier, the only family I have left in this world. I yelled at her for defending Daisy, and I haven’t even apologized to her yet. What if something happens to her and I never get the chance? What if one of us dies, and the other is left with regret at how things ended between us?
But I can’t forgive her for siding with Daisy while she was being so bratty and irresponsible towards Ryder. The rest of our group knows that Ryder’s just trying to do what he thinks is best for us all, and she was the one being unreasonable, not him. I still can’t believe the way that Madison and I were glaring at each other, but I can’t bring myself to start planning out my apology. As much as I want to tell her I’m sorry and get the two of us back on track—if we’re off track at all—I want her to apologize as well. Not just to me, but to Ryder as well.
Zombie World (Zombie Apocalypse #3) Page 26
