The two of us are silent for a minute, and I wonder if he’s gone back to sleep. When he speaks, he sounds resigned and more afraid than I’ve ever heard him sound before. “You should leave me.”
My arms tighten around him on instinct. The urge to protect him, even from his own thoughts, is overwhelming. “Ryder, I could never do that.”
“I’m a lost cause.”
“I love you too much to ever give up on you.” I force him to look at me, so he knows how much my words mean. “You never once gave up on me, despite having many chances to do so. Before you left, you told me that one day I’d find you standing outside the gates shouting my name, and everything would be okay. You promised me, Ryder. Now I’m promising you. I’m going to take care of you, no matter what. I’m going to help you get better, and everything will be okay.”
I hold Ryder until his breathing begins to slow. Before too long, he falls back asleep in my arms, and I think about how odd it is to be in this position. As long as I’ve known him, Ryder has always been the one taking care of me, putting my safety first, helping me when I needed it, and keeping me safe from the terrors at night. Now here I am, the weaker of the two of us, comforting him in the same way he’s done for me for so long.
What if it ends up like this for the rest of our lives? What if he never truly heals? The physical scars are here to stay, but what about the psychological ones that nobody else can see? Will those ever go away or is he doomed to be like this for the rest of his life, afraid to go to bed because of what he knows he’ll see as soon as his eyes close?
It’s not fair that someone as brave and selfless as Ryder has to endure something this horrible. If it were possible, I’d take all of his fears and pain and I’d help him shoulder the burden, taking some of that weight off his shoulders. But I’m not sure how best to help him, other than to simply be here for him, to help anchor him in reality like he’s done for me. I can only hope that Ryder is strong enough to beat this. The only thing I know about our situation is that I still love him and no amount of night terrors will ever change that.
I look down at him, curled up in my arms and breathing peacefully once more, and I feel a rush of emotion stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. I know deep down in my very soul that this man is the most important thing in my life, and even if he never fully understands why I love him in this condition, he’ll still be the very best part of my life.
I feel Ryder’s arms snake around my waist, pulling me closer like in the past. It makes me smile, being in his arms like this again. Sleeping alone at night for the past two months has brought back my old fear of the dark, but now that he’s here, I know I’m going to be getting over it. I turn and lightly kiss his temple, my lips lingering against his skin. Curled up in the crook of his arm, I feel myself begin to drift off again. Before I fade away, I hear him speak, so softly I’d have missed it if I weren’t right here.
“I love you, Sam. More than anything.” He nuzzles my neck, inhaling deeply. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
We fall asleep, curled up in each other’s arms. It’s as if none of the past two months have happened, like we’re back on track and finally able to start our lives together. I know it’s not going to be perfect, but I’m willing to deal with the bad as long as the good comes with it.
The End.
Other Books by Samantha Hoffman:
The Arena Wars
War of Hearts (Arena Wars #2)
Consumed By War (Arena Wars #3)
Zombie Island (Zombie Apocalypse #1)
Zombie Country (Zombie Apocalypse #2)
The Awakening (Daray Hall #1)
The Protector (Daray Hall #2)
Dark Secrets (Dark Heritage #1)
Dark Revenge (Dark Heritage #2)
Dark Possession (Dark Heritage #3)
Find me on facebook to keep up to date on what I’ll be working on next.
Zombie World (Zombie Apocalypse #3) Page 47
