by Jack Massa
"If this training may help us find Glyssa, then we must try it," Lonn told the witch.
"Do not be so quick to volunteer," Amlina said. "You have no idea what we're talking about. The training of a deepseer is difficult and painful. It requires the initiate to abandon normal patterns of thought and belief. It means opening yourself to the immeasurable power of the Deepmind. There are some who venture into those depths and never find their way out."
Lonn looked at Kizier.
"What Amlina says is true," the bostull admitted. "It would be unfair not to warn you of the perils. All I can promise is that she and I will do all we can to guide you, if you wish to try."
The klarnmates stared solemnly at Lonn, but he had little sense of their opinions. It was solely his decision, and his heart told him there could be only one.
"I will undertake this training," he told the witch. "You will teach me."
"I will think about it," Amlina said.
"It might be better to start at once," Kizier suggested, "while the dream is still fresh in his mind."
Amlina frowned, pondering. Abruptly, she rose to her feet and went to open one of her trunks. She picked out a small gilt-covered book and thumbed through the pages, still frowning. She read for a few moments, looked over at Lonn, then finally walked back to where the Iruks were sitting.
"Very well," she said to Lonn. "Since you and Kizier both insist on this, we will try it. You must take off your boots and belt and sit cross-legged on the floor. The rest of you must leave."
"I don't like this," Karrol muttered in Iruk.
"Go," Lonn said.
The mates glanced at one another and grimly nodded their assent. They bid Lonn good luck, touched his shoulder, then filed from the cabin.
Amlina moved about the chamber blowing out the lamps, except for one which she placed on the floor in front of Lonn. She instructed him to breathe slowly and deeply, and to focus his eyes on the small flame inside the glass.
Lonn obeyed, but when the witch had kept him in that position for a very long time without further instruction, his thoughts grew restless and his eyes left the lamplight. He spotted Amlina sitting on her bunk, reading the small book in the blue light of the stained glass window.
"Keep watching the flame," Amlina said.
"For how long?"
"Until I tell you otherwise. Initiation is normally preceded by weeks of such exercises. Do you want to undertake this training or don't you?"
Scowling, Lonn gazed down at the lamp. He estimated that the morning had turned to afternoon by the time he heard the witch move from her spot. He steadfastly refused to look at her until she had sat down on her cushion and told him to do so.
Amlina wore the same silk gown as before but had removed her jewelry and slippers. She looked pale and girlishly pretty to Lonn, but her voice was stern and forceful.
"You seek to look into the One Mind, the Allmind. To do this you must surrender your body, surrender your thoughts, surrender all hopes and desires and fears, that you may look upon the Ogo with complete openness and detachment. Are you willing to surrender yourself completely?"
"Yes."
"Say it."
"I am willing to surrender myself completely."
"Relax."
The word had a surprising effect on Lonn who had thought himself fully relaxed already. But now he sensed release, tension flowing out from all his parts.
"I will touch you in the places where your nerves gather," Amlina said. "With each touch the feeling in that place will disappear."
She placed her fingertips on the soles of his feet and murmured a short invocation. There was a burst of warmth in his feet, and when that faded all sensation was gone. Amlina repeated the touch at his knees, his groin, his lower back, his heart, the back of his neck. When it was done, Lonn no longer felt his body, only his face floating in the shadowy cabin.
"Close your eyes," Amlina said.
Eyes shut, Lonn felt her fingertips on his forehead and heard her whisper.
"Know that you are thought. This world called Glimnodd is but thought, one thought of an infinity. Infinite worlds and suns and seas, infinite bodies and minds, all are only thoughts of the One Mind, which comes to know itself by thinking. Know further this: that the One Mind is within you, with all its worlds and suns and creatures. Now let your inner eye be opened that you may see what the Ogo gives you to see."
Amlina chanted briskly, magic words Lonn did not know. A jolt of energy entered his forehead, bursting at the center of his skull. Instantly this energy radiated outward, surging through the cabin and echoing back to Lonn. Eyes still closed, it was as if he could suddenly see in all directions at once. His mind vibrated with perceptions of scintillating lights and spinning forms. The witch's hanging trinkets whirled and reflected his mind's energy, heightening, intensifying his consciousness.
Then, as Amlina's chant ended in a series of high notes, Lonn's awareness exploded from the cabin. In a glittering rush his mind soared upward, past the sky, beyond the spheres of the moons and sun, out to an unending chaos bright with the fires of innumerable stars.
For an unknown time his mind floated in that outer chaos. He saw stars born from dust, collecting, spinning, flaring into brilliance, then bursting asunder, fading into darkness and dust again. He saw worlds, spherical worlds as the bostull had said, uncountable numbers of them swimming among the stars. The worlds were filled with life, creatures beyond number, spawning, devouring, being devoured ... Knowledge came to him, born of these visions yet known for truths: These cycles were eternal. Dust and light, creation and destruction, life and death—all were only thought, the will of the One to know itself: Ogo.
To Lonn, the visions were stupendous, stunning. And, upon reflection, appalling. All living things were only thoughts, flickering then dark forever. Terrible. Unendurable.
"Open your eyes."
He stared wildly: shadows and shapes he could not recognize. He was breathing hard, choking.
"Relax," Amlina said. "Be at peace."
Streams of sparks glittered before his eyes. The ideas of infinity and eternity loomed gigantic in his mind.
"Relax."
Amlina touched him and her touch made him obey. He breathed easier, and the flashes of light diminished. The flow of vision began to take on recognizable forms. He saw the gleam of three eyes watching him with intent concern. Around the eyes, half lit, half lost in darkness, the shapes of Amlina and Kizier.
Amlina and Kizier. Then he remembered that he was Lonn. Lonn the son of Orla, the leader of his klarn. He had undertaken this witch's rite in order to search for Glyssa.
Lonn rocked forward, grimacing. The thought of Glyssa pierced him with anguish. He recalled his dream, felt again the awful moment when he realized that Glyssa was fading. He was breathing heavily again, trembling.
"Relax," Amlina said.
Lonn shook his head. "Glyssa…"
"Where is Glyssa?" Kizier asked.
"She is lost. She is vanishing!"
The shadows seemed solid, closing him in. He looked at the windows, and suddenly he had to get outside. He jumped up and bolted for the door.
"Stop!" Amlina cried.
Some quality in her voice made him freeze. He stood shaking, staring at the door, longing to escape, his panic as fierce as it was senseless.
Amlina moved to him. When she put a hand on his shoulder he crumpled to the floor and curled up, whimpering.
"Don't be afraid," Amlina said. "Your fear arises from lack of detachment."
Her words meant nothing to Lonn. He stared into the darkness that drifted and quivered about him. Glyssa was fading to nothingness, and he and his mates were helpless to save her. How could they go on without her? And it was his fault. Glyssa was lost because Lonn had dreamed of this ship and had greedily clung to the dream despite omens and warnings that were plain to others. Glyssa herself had tried to warn him.
"I wouldn't listen," Lonn whispered in abject despair. "I wo
uldn't listen."
Amlina's voice murmured wearily above him. "This was not well-decided, Kizier."
The witch let Lonn lie there for a long time, but finally she must have helped him up. Lonn remembered sitting on the floor before the lamp again, and Amlina and Kizier asking him about Glyssa. But their questions made him withdraw into silence. Thinking of her was too painful. After a while the witch gave up trying. She took out the mirrored spinner she had used when she first spoke with the Iruks in this chamber, and set it going for Lonn to watch. The entrancing motion calmed him and eventually he slept.
Lonn awoke alone, lying beneath a fur in the Iruks' cabin. The stove was warm to his touch and daylight shone behind the small windows.
The same day or the next? Lonn had no idea.
He pulled on his sea boots and found his way groggily to the steps. He was going to knock on Amlina's door but changed his mind and went out on deck instead.
A cold wind blew from the south, and the sky was overcast. The sea was leaden, glossed with a pearly aura. Lonn spotted his mates on the foredeck, practice-fencing with their swords and knives. They hailed him as he walked forward.
"Lonn," Draven said. "We thought you might sleep all day. Are you all right?"
"Is this the same day I started it, or the next?"
"The next day," Draven laughed. "Amlina brought you downstairs in the middle of the night. Your eyes were shut and she was guiding you. She said you were sleeping though you walked, and that we should let you sleep it off. We were worried. Karrol almost got into a fight with the witch, trying to make her explain what she'd done with you."
"I didn't like the way you looked," Karrol said. "And I still don't. What happened, Lonn?"
He leaned his back against the railing. "It's hard to explain. She used power from her hands to make me relax. Then I began to see visions. It was like dreaming, but I was awake."
"Did you see Glyssa?" Eben asked.
"No, I don't think so."
"Amlina said it was only an initiation," Brinda remarked. "And that she warned you it could be painful."
"She did warn me," Lonn grumbled, then changed the subject. "Somebody lend me their blades so I can practice."
He borrowed Draven's sword and dagger and fenced a while, matching feints and thrusts first with Karrol, then Eben. It was vital for fighters to keep in practice, and the slippery deck was excellent for honing agility and balance. But Lonn's thoughts were elsewhere, and he didn't provide his mates much of a challenge.
The Iruks stopped fencing when food was brought, their midday rations of hot soup, water and a half-cup of brandy for each. The brandy had lately been added to the daily fare due to the turn of cold weather and a shortage of tea. The diligent cabin boy served them, as he did the Larthangans on duty, from a covered pot and two full water skins. He also carried a sack with wooden cups and bowls inside.
Karrol tasted the soup and spat it out, cursing the cook's ineptness in the preparation of volroom meat and herbs. The soup was indeed a greasy mess, but Lonn had no appetite anyway. He gulped down his water, then savored the brandy, making it last four swallows.
After that he stood at the rail and stared out to sea, thinking again of his dream, of the horrible vision of Glyssa fading to nothing. With the best of winds, the Plover was still many days from Kadavel. Could they reach it in time and then find Glyssa in that massive, swarming city?
Or was it already too late?
As Lonn peered into the distance ahead of the ship, a frizzier approached, a mild variation of the freezewind. The air shimmered with streaks of white, and a crystal-thin ice layer formed on the water. The delicate ice ripped and rattled with the heaving of the waves beneath, and the coaster's running hull made a constant crackling sound.
Amlina came out from her cabin and joined the captain on the rear deck. Lonn made his way aft to speak with her, and the other Iruks tagged along. As they topped the stairs, Lonn heard the chorus of windbringers, which included Kizier, humming in light trance.
The Larthangans were bending on more sails for speed and maneuverability. A true freezewind was almost sure to follow the frizzier, it was only a question of when. The coaster would need all its speed and responsiveness to climb from the freezing sea onto the ice.
"I think we should turn now and start tacking, lady," Troneck said. "The Icemaker can blow up your back mighty quick sometimes."
"You have my vision to guide you," Amlina replied. "The Deepmind will tell me when it is best to turn and I will tell you."
Troneck shut his mouth tight and glared behind them at the dim horizon. Lonn could sympathize with the Larthangan's displeasure. He would not appreciate the witch telling him how to sail his dojuk.
"How do you feel today?" Amlina asked him.
"Terrible," Lonn answered, more frankly than he'd meant to. "Do you think any good came of it?"
"What do you think?"
Lonn remembered his panic, and the insurmountable feeling of despair. "I didn't see Glyssa. Not that I recall."
Amlina gave a rare smile. "If the Deepmind had presented you with that vision on your first unpracticed attempt, I would have been very surprised. Glyssa is hidden by a strong design."
"But you think he may succeed in time?" Draven said.
Amlina shrugged. "In the Deepmind anything is possible, as Kizier is so fond of reminding us. Lonn may have a gift for deepseeing, but it takes time to develop such a gift. There's no telling if there's enough time for it to be of use in looking for Glyssa and the Cloak."
Her glance returned to Lonn. "And of course the training is hard. It won't often be as dramatic as the initiation, but it will sometimes be as painful. It has truly been said that gazing into the Ogo will unravel a mind that is not strong enough."
"Lonn's mind is plenty strong," Draven clapped his mate on the shoulder.
"Maybe you should let Lonn decide that for himself," the witch answered.
"What do you think?" Lonn turned the question on her. "You guided me in the initiation. Do you believe I should continue?"
The witch's sea-blue eyes peered at him, seeming to weigh his soul. "Last night I would have said no. But I've had a little time to reflect and remember that initiates often go to pieces, and I mean ones who've had long and expert preparation. As I've said, you may be gifted, and in time you might master the gift. But nothing is certain, except that it is risky. Think it over for a few days, let your mind rest and absorb what—"
The witch started and looked behind her at the sky. Lonn realized that the windbringer's had ceased humming.
"Turn to starboard, captain." Amlina pointed the exact course she wanted.
Troneck shifted his iron tiller and shouted to his men to haul in their sheets. The Plover veered in the water, the mizzen boom swinging over their heads. The tall sails bent out as the ship moved on its new tack.
A short time later Amlina had the captain edge closer to the wind.
They were racing southeast now, wind on the starboard bow. Sparks of change-light began bursting over the sea to windward. Then a wave of scintillating white appeared, looming in the gray distance.
"Stand by your lines," Troneck roared. "Stand by the runner chains. Windbringers, now's the time! Push us faster if you can."
Lonn glanced at the alert-eyed bostulls and sensed their mental efforts—sensed them with peculiar clarity, his mind somehow feeling their wills at work. The wind gusted over the decks, and the sails strained farther out. The two-master lunged forward as the glittering freezewind swept toward them.
It was quite possible for even a heavier, slower ship to run up on the forming ice of a freezewind and keep sailing. The magic change provided a buoyancy of its own, the glowing sea letting loose tremendous energy as it changed to ice. The problem was speed and angle, the deep-riding hull had to meet the materializing ice just so.
"Down ice runners," Troneck ordered.
Lonn heard the rattle of the chains and felt the rumbling through his feet as the
runners locked into place.
"Prepare to turn," Amlina said, staring wide-eyed at the nearing wall of light.
"There's still time to gain speed," the captain protested.
"Turn when I tell you," Amlina answered. "Turn now!"
"Not yet," Troneck gripped the helm tightly but did not move it.
"Now!" Amlina cried.
"Turn!" Lonn yelled. For suddenly he trusted the witch's deepseeing, suddenly he knew she was right.
Troneck hesitated a moment more, a look of anguished indecision on his face. Then he swung the tiller hard, and the coaster's prow swerved into the wind.
The towering wave of light rippled over the foredeck a moment later, angled slightly to starboard. Lonn ducked and shielded his face like everyone else as the freezewind engulfed the vessel.
There was a moment of abysmal cold, and the wind's whir changed to a high shriek. Then the deck lurched underfoot and Lonn was flung sprawling. The Plover shook with a fierce groan of timbers, then grew still.
The freezewind blew away to the north, leaving the coaster stuck motionless in the new-made ice.
Ten
On the tilted decks of the Plover the Iruks and Larthangans picked themselves up in silence. The wind had died off to a whisper, the ship's canvas flapping drearily overhead.
"Lower those sails," Troneck yelled. "Jump now! We'll crack a mast if the wind picks up. Damn our luck. I knew this would happen. I knew it."
"Your thinking so made it happen." Amlina stepped toward him in a fury. "You waited too long to turn!"
The burly captain retreated a step, then dropped to his knees and grabbed the fur hem of Amlina's coat. "Forgive this worthless one, lady. I did what seemed best at the time. I thought it too soon to turn. I thought we would slow too much."
Lonn looked away, glowering at the man's cowardice. The crewmen on the rear deck stood frowning, eyes lowered.
"Enough," Amlina yanked her coat from Troneck's cringing grasp. "On your feet, captain. Let's go and see about cutting ourselves loose."
Leaning awkwardly, the witch clambered down the steps and across the main deck. Lonn and the others followed, their sea legs suddenly weak and rubbery on the stationary vessel. Rope ladders were hastily lowered from the port rail, the low side of the sloping deck. The Larthangans stepped back to let Amlina climb over first.
