by Zena Wynn
She smiled broadly. “Remember, nibble and sip. When you’ve had enough, stop, and el niño will be satisfied.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Gail said smartly and saluted her, laughing when Carmelita popped her with her apron before returning to the kitchen.
Looking at the spread before her, Gail decided to start with fruit. The cantaloupe looked very appealing to her today. She forked a piece and put it on her plate. As she bit into it, she almost moaned in pleasure as the sweet juices flooded her mouth and rolled down her cheek. Disregarding the other items on the table, she attacked the melon, gorging herself, piece by piece, until it was all gone.
It was only as she lay the last rind on her plate that she became aware of Rashid’s presence. Gail flushed uncomfortably as she wiped her hands and mouth, aware of the picture she must make. “How long have you been standing there?” she asked uncomfortably.
“Long enough to know that we must be sure to keep a supply of melons on hand for your enjoyment. I’ve never seen anyone eat their food with such gusto,” Rashid said with a gleam of amusement in his eyes as he came closer and seated himself at the table.
Whatever reply Gail would have made was lost as Crystal came breezing onto the patio, her body barely covered in a skimpy, red bikini, the white cover up flapping behind her. “Oh, good,” she called out gaily, “food’s already on the table.” She ran her hands along Rashid’s shoulders as she passed him and took a seat at the table next to him.
Filling her plate with salad, she kept up a steady stream of chatter, regaling Gail and Rashid with tales of the client’s home she was currently working on and designer horror stories of clients she’d served in the past.
Lunch passed swiftly and soon, Crystal and Gail were lounging by the pool, relaxing in the ocean breeze. Rashid had returned to the office. There was a lull in the conversation. Then Crystal turned to Gail. “I really appreciate you doing this for me. I know this is taking more effort than you thought it would. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You’re welcome. What are friends for? Yes, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I wasn’t sick like this with Marcus. I just breezed through that pregnancy. I thought this one would be the same,” she said, ignoring the now familiar pang at the thought of the child she’d lost.
“Well, whatever the case, you’re strong. Stronger than I am. You can handle it. We just need to find food that you can keep down,” Crystal said encouragingly.
“Crystal, you’re not weak. It’s not your fault that you’ve miscarried. Please don’t blame yourself. You know that doctors don’t know everything. Just because they can’t determine the source of the problem doesn’t mean that it’s you.”
“My head knows that but my heart says otherwise. You know one of the specialists I went to actually suggested that the problem was that Rashid and I were incompatible. That it was something about our combined chemistry that was the reason I couldn’t carry a baby to full-term.”
“I’ve never heard of that, unless he was talking about that RH factor stuff. You know, where the mother has a positive blood type and the babies negative? I’ve heard that can cause miscarriages if the doctor doesn’t catch it in time.”
“I don’t think that’s what he was talking about. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You know after the last miscarriage, Rashid put his foot down. No more pregnancies for me. I failed him,” Crystal stated dejectedly.
“You did not fail him! How can you say that? It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Rashid loves you for more than your ability to give him a child. Why do you keep putting yourself down like this? Like you’re somehow less of a woman because you haven’t been able to carry a child to term. Having a baby is not what makes you a woman. You’ve got a good man who loves you, a wonderful home, a great marriage, and the job of your dreams. Most of all, you’re a wonderful person. Your womanhood is not defined by your ability to procreate. You need to get that out of your head. What does your counselor say?”
“I don’t know. I stopped going. He was a quack. How is a man going to understand my desire to have a child?” Crystal asked scornfully.
“Maybe he couldn’t, but why don’t you find another counselor, a woman? Or maybe a support group of women who will understand because they’re going through the same thing?” Gail hated to see Crystal like this.
“The last thing I want to do is be with a bunch a loser women crying into their cups about not being able to have children. I’m fine. You’re absolutely right. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I’m not going to let this one little failing become more important to me than all the good in my life. Rashid is a good man, a great husband, and I’m an awesome interior decorator. Soon, I’ll be a wonderful mommy, thanks to my generous friend,” she told Gail with a smile.
Gail returned Crystal’s smile but inside, she was concerned. She really wished Crystal would seek out a support group. She didn’t think Crystal was adjusting as well as she thought she was, but Gail kept her fears to herself. She couldn’t make Crystal get the help she so obviously needed. All she could do is continue to be there for her.
* * * *
The two weeks passed by swiftly, and before Gail knew it, it was time to return to the doctor. Crystal had an important meeting with her client so Rashid accompanied her. Dr. Hagan wasn’t doing a full pelvic exam on this visit. This one was just to determine if she was to be allowed off bed rest and could return to work.
It felt strange, sitting in the waiting room with Rashid. She noticed some of the other women in the waiting room sliding envious glances her way. She wanted to cry out, ‘He’s not mine. I’m just a friend,’ but didn’t because really, it wasn’t any of their business.
Still, she supposed she could understand their envy. Rashid was an attractive man and an extremely courteous one as well. He carried his power and wealth around him like an aura. You just knew he was someone important as soon as he stepped into the room.
They called her name at the door and Rashid clasped her elbow to help her to stand before escorting her to the back. He stood by her side while her vitals were taken. Then he followed as she was directed by the nurse not to the office as she expected, but to an examination room.
“Excuse me,” she said to the nurse. “I thought this was just a follow up from the hospital?” Gail was uncomfortably aware of Rashid’s presence. There was no way she was undressing with him around.
“It is. Dr. Hagan wants to check the baby’s heartbeat. You don’t have to disrobe. Just sit on the table and he’ll be in shortly.”
Gail nodded in agreement, glad she’d worn loose-fitting trousers and a top rather than the dress she’d started to wear. When Rashid requested to come with her, she hadn’t given any thought to how much intimacy they would be forced into with his presence.
A few minutes later, Dr Hagan breezed into the office. “How’s my favorite patient today?”
Gail rolled her eyes. “I’m good. I’m eating. Can I go home now?”
He clucked his tongue at her. “Answer a few questions for me first then I’ll answer yours.”
A few questions turned into a barrage, some of which were directed to her, others aimed at Rashid. She was amazed at the accuracy of the answers Rashid gave, even for those questions directed to her that he answered when she hesitated. Rashid had to have been monitoring her very closely to know these things. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
“Gail, lay back. I want to listen to the baby. Rashid, would you like to hear your child?”
“Yes,” he answered, his posture showing just how interested he was as he watched the proceedings.
The nurse pushed the waistband of Gail’s pants down below her still flat stomach and tucked a towel in them, overlapping the outside to protect the material. Then she lifted her shirt until it gathered under her breast, out of the way of the goo the doctor was squeezing onto her belly.
Dr. Hagan placed the monitor on her stomach and rolled it around. The strong, rhythmic beat of the baby�
��s heartbeat filled the room. Overcome by emotion, Rashid reached out and gripped Gail’s hand tightly.
“Nice, strong heartbeat. The baby is fine. Now, for its momma,” Dr. Hagan said as he put the monitor away. The nurse wiped her stomach clean and readjusted her clothing. When she stepped out of the way, Rashid helped Gail to sit up.
“So, what’s the verdict? Can I come off of bed rest? Is it alright for me to return to work?” she asked anxiously.
Rashid stood by her side, saying nothing while they waited for the doctor to answer. Dr. Hagan took a seat and motioned for Rashid to do the same. Once he was seated, Dr. Hagan directed his attention to Gail.
“I know you want to return to work, but I’m still concerned about your weight. You’ve lost too much. In the last two weeks you’ve gained a pound, which is good. But since you’ve been pregnant, you’ve lost twenty, far more than is safe for you to lose and be healthy. I’m keeping you on bed rest until you gain at least five more pounds. I’d really like to see you gain ten.” He waited expectedly.
Gail’s response wasn’t long in coming. “But I can go home, right? I want to go home. I want to be in my own apartment, in my own bed. I can stay off from work for another couple of weeks. That’s no problem. Just let me go home.”
Dr. Hagan shared a look with Rashid before answering. “I think it would be better if you remain in the Jabbar’s home, at least until your next visit. You’re already showing signs of improvement just in the short time that you’ve been there.”
When Gail opened her mouth to argue, he said firmly, “Doctor’s orders. You live alone. At home, you would be tempted to overdo it. At least with Rashid, I know you’re being properly cared for.” Dr. Hagan paused, allowing Gail the opportunity to respond. When she remained quiet, he continued. “You’re scheduled to come back and see me in four weeks. We’ll re-evaluate the situation at that time.”
When she still didn’t respond, Rashid stood. “Thank you, Dr. Hagan. I’ll make sure that Gail is taken care of. We’ll see you in four weeks.” Rashid shook Dr. Hagan’s hand.
“See the receptionist on your way out,” he said and left the room.
As soon as the door closed, Rashid turned to Gail and watched her quietly. When the silence became too much, she glared at him and snapped, “What?”
“Is it such a trial, living in our home?” he asked quietly.
Gail took a deep breath and turned her face away until she could compose herself. His calmness made her feel like an unreasonable shrew. “Rashid, I get that this is your child, and you have a vested interest in its development, but your child is in my body. And my body wants to be in its own home, around its own things, sleeping in its own bed,” she finished softly.
“Come,” he said, holding his hand out to her. “This is better discussed somewhere else. I’m sure they have need of this room.”
She didn’t want his assistance getting off of the exam table, but to refuse would be churlish. Gail took his hand and allowed Rashid to help her down. She waited while he opened the door for her and then walked through, very aware of Rashid’s presence at her back.
A quick stop by the receptionist desk and they were heading out the door. A few minutes later, Gail watched as Rashid crossed in front of the Mercedes after seating her inside. He slid smoothly into the car and started the engine. “Where would you like to eat? We can talk over lunch.”
“It doesn’t matter to me.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest.
“We’ll go to my club,” he said decisively as he spun out of the parking garage. “It’s not too far from here and we can speak privately.”
“Fine,” Gail answered and remained quiet for the rest of the drive. She was bitterly disappointed. The only way she’d been able to manage being away from home was by telling herself it was only for two weeks. She could handle two weeks. Two weeks was a vacation. Something she hadn’t had in a long time.
Now Dr. Hagan was talking another month; a month of living in someone else’s home, away from familiar surroundings and familiar things, like the pictures of her family. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t do it.
It was too much to ask of anyone.
Chapter Three
When they arrived at the club, Rashid told the Maître D that they needed privacy to discuss sensitive business. He took one look at Gail’s tense face and escorted them to a private alcove in the dining facility.
Rashid kept Gail waiting while they went through the tedious procedure of ordering their lunch. “We’ll talk after we’ve eaten,” he informed her.
“Why can’t we talk now?”
“I don’t want any interruptions.”
“Just be aware that nothing you say will alter my desire to go home.”
Rashid allowed that challenge to pass. Their food was delivered in record time. Rashid ate heartily while Gail nibbled on the fruit salad she’d ordered. Too soon, he laid his utensils down and set his plate to the side. “If you are finished playing with your food, I should like us to begin.”
Gail narrowed her eyes at him. “If you want this to be a rational discussion between two adults, you’d better watch the condescending remarks. Keep speaking to me as though I was a child and I’ll retaliate as one would.”
Rashid spread his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “You are right. I apologize. That remark was uncalled for.”
Gail pushed her plate to the side and sat back, disgusted because Rashid was right. She had been playing with her food. Her stomach was too tight for her to be able to enjoy it. She was more subdued when she responded. “What did you want to discuss?” She was more than ready to get this conversation over with.
“I would like for you to live with us until you deliver the baby.”
“No.”
“You did not allow me to finish. As the child’s father, I would like to watch its development through every stage, right through its delivery.”
“Rashid, I know you want to be an active participant. That’s why I allowed you to accompany me today. I am willing to be reasonable and accommodating up to a point. Moving in with you and Crystal is an action I’m not willing to take. I understand that this is your child, but as I stated before, your child is in my body and I have a life, a home. I’m already sacrificing a year of my life to do this for you. Don’t ask of me more than I can give.”
Rashid placed his forearms on the table and leaned forward intently. “When you signed the contract, you agreed to do whatever was in the best interest of the child. I feel, and I’m sure Dr. Hagan and my attorneys will agree, that your staying with me where you can be adequately monitored and cared for is in the baby’s best interest.”
“Are you threatening me?” she hissed at him, outraged that he would do such a thing after all she was doing for them.
“No, simply informing you of the measures I’m willing to take to be a part of this pregnancy.” Rashid’s tone was utterly implacable.
“Bastard,” Gail said as she shoved her chair away from the table. She snatched up her purse and stalked off, her anger apparent in every inch of her bearing.
“Gail, come back and let’s finish discussing this.”
“Screw you and your discussion,” she called back over her shoulder as she weaved through the other diners on her way to the exit. Bastard! How dare he threaten me? He wouldn’t be having a child if it weren’t for me, she mumbled under her breath.
She reached the lobby and lengthened her stride, the exit in sight. She’d catch a cab back to her place and Rashid and his demands could just go to hell.
“Gail, wait!”
Almost there, she thought. Her hands were reaching for the door when she was pulled up short. Rashid snaked an arm around her waist, lifted her off of her feet, and stepped off to the side of the entryway.
Gail immediately began to struggle for her freedom. “Let me go!”
“Not until you hear me out,” Rashid demanded as he set her down, spun her around by the arm,
and locked his arm around her waist. He pulled her tight against his body, restricting her ability to move. They glared at each other, a contest to see whose will was stronger.
“Mr. Jabbar. Ms. Henderson. Is everything alright?” The concerned voice of the club manager interrupted the stare down they were engaged in.
“We’re fine. Ms. Henderson has just received some distressing business news,” Rashid informed the man.
“Ah, perhaps you would consider moving somewhere a little more private to finish your conversation,” the manager discretely suggested.
Rashid finally turned away from Gail to address the manager directly. “We shall be but a minute more. If I see that the discussion will extend longer, I will, of course, seek your assistance in locating a place more suitable.”
“Very good, sir.” He nodded to the both of them before walking away.
Gail stood very still, pressed against Rashid as she was, and prayed for strength. Rashid’s arm was an iron bar against her back and every inch of her body, from chest to thigh, was molded against his. The interruption by the manager had allowed her space to become aware of the riot going on inside. She was grateful for the padded bra she wore that disguised her traitorous nipples, which were responding to Rashid’s nearness.
Of all the rotten times for her body to come alive. This couldn’t be happening to her. Not now and not with Rashid, her best friend’s husband. She turned her face away from him, hoping he wouldn’t see the confusion and reluctant desire she was feeling. It must surely be reflected on her face. God must have heard her prayer for Rashid loosened his hold, allowing her to take a small step back and put some space between them.
“Gail, I’m sorry.”
She almost turned to look at him to see how sincere he was. At the last moment, she realized what she was hiding and gazed at his nose instead of meeting his eyes.
“I should not have threatened you, but please, put yourself in my position. I’ve already lost five children to miscarriage. This child is my final hope. I want to be a part of every minute of it, and I fear the same thing happening to this one as has happened to the others. I know it is an imposition, but please consider it. This may be the only child I’ll ever have.”
