by Zena Wynn
“You mean the fact that you’re white and I’m not?” He nodded. “No, not really. I’ve never dated outside of my race before, so this will be really different for me. But in this instance, that’s a good thing. At least I won’t be mentally comparing you to Jason at every turn.” Jason had been African-American like herself with a dark complexion. She used to refer to him as her Hershey bar.
“The last thing I want is to be compared to another man, especially your sainted, deceased husband.” Greg released her hand and sat back as the first course was served.
“Sainted?” she echoed sharply.
“You know what I mean. Your husband was a good man. Even if he wasn’t, death tends to lessen people’s memory of the bad, humanizing things of the decease’s nature and they remember only the good, elevating the deceased to a sainted status. There is no way that I could compete. I’d always fall short.”
Gail’s mouth gaped as her fork hung in mid-air over her food. “You’re right. I never thought of it that way. We’re taught as children not to speak ill of the dead, whether they deserved it or not. I knew plenty women who wouldn’t date a widower, for the reason you just cited. Although I’m a widow and in a better position to understand someone else’s pain, I still would have to think twice about accepting an invitation from one,” Gail was able to admit.
“Fortunately for you, accepting other men’s invitations is not something you have to worry about.” His look challenged her to disagree with his claim of exclusive rights to her company.
She let the challenge pass, not willing to make it an issue, especially not on a first date. She’d wait and see what happened when and if an invitation from another man presented itself. For the rest of the meal, they spoke of mundane things—happenings at the office, mutual acquaintances of which Gail discovered were many, and general things men and women discussed when trying to establish a relationship apart from the office.
The evening was fun and relaxing. Greg was good company. When they finished their meal, they strolled along the Riverwalk, enjoying the breeze coming off the river. The city was pretty at night. They sat for a while at Friendship Fountain before deciding it was time to call it a night. Gail reminded him that they both had to go to work the next morning, and it was getting late.
Greg took her home after extracting a promise that tonight wouldn’t be their last night out together. At the door, he pulled her into his arms. “Just in case you’re thinking of putting me into the buddy category…” His mouth swooped down and plundered hers in a kiss that left her breathless.
When he released her, she sagged against the door, needing its support for her suddenly weak knees. “Not a buddy. Got it,” she agreed hoarsely.
Reaching past her, he opened her door and guided her gently inside. As he placed the keys in her hand, he whispered, “Goodnight,” and closed the door behind him as he left.
Gail leaned against the door and drew in a shaky breath. Lord, she needed to get laid. For the first time in memory, she envied Crystal. No doubt about it, wherever she was, Rashid was making sure she got sexed—frequently.
Chapter Six
Crystal was ready to scream. She could feel it building on the inside but she couldn’t let it out. Rashid was ruining all of her plans. It wasn’t fair.
He’d brought her to Paradise Island in the Bahamas. Their hotel was right on the beach and the suite had an ocean view. For the last week, he’d done nothing but pamper her. Her every whim was satisfied and he’d spent an ungodly amount of money on her, taking her shopping and sightseeing.
As an Investment Banker, he’d been unable to totally escape from work, but he’d kept the interruptions to a minimum. They’d made love constantly, over and over. Their vacation was turning into a second honeymoon.
With all that lovemaking, you’d think once, just once, Rashid would slip and forget to use a condom. He never did. Crystal did everything she could think of, going above and beyond in an effort to make him mindless with passion.
She’d gone down on him so much her jaw was sore, and every time she thought she had him, thought that this time she’d finally got him to the point where all he could think of was getting inside of her, he still took the time to put on a condom.
She’d truly believed that this vacation was a sign from God that this was her time—time to give life. How could she not? Rashid’s offer of a mini-vacation trip coincided with her fertile period. Surely, somewhere over her three-day window she would conceive. Then she could present Rashid with the child he’d always wanted and they wouldn’t need Gail’s babies.
Oh, they would make sure her children were provided for, of course. After all, Gail was her friend. She couldn’t just dump the twins on her like that. Besides, Gail would be happy to have a child to replace the one that she lost, but none of this would happen if she couldn’t get Rashid to lose the protection. She even tried hiding it from him. It hadn’t worked. He absolutely refused to come inside of her unless he was sheathed in a condom.
If she heard him say, “It’s for your protection. I don’t want to lose you,” one more time, she would scream. Never mind what Rashid would think.
God, haven’t I suffered enough? Haven’t I done enough penance for my mistakes? As usual, there was no response to her prayer, but then, she didn’t expect any. As a willful youth, she’d gotten pregnant. There was no way that she was going to mess up her life by having a child at an early age.
She wasn’t scared of what her parents would think. She knew they would have supported her had she chosen to keep the baby, no matter what anyone thought. She just didn’t want it. She was too young and having too much fun to be tied down with a baby. She had her whole life ahead of her and she planned to live it unencumbered with unnecessary responsibilities.
She’d committed a terrible sin, murdered her unborn baby, and now, God was punishing her by denying her the one thing she wanted most in life. It was the only thing that made sense. The minister she’d spoken to after her first miscarriage had tried to convince her that she was wrong. That God wasn’t like that and sometimes these things just happened, but she knew the truth. She was cursed. That’s why the doctor’s couldn’t find a reason for the miscarriages. There was no medical reason for what was occurring.
After each miscarriage, doctors had convinced Rashid to send her to a counselor to help her deal with her grief. Five different counselors, and each of them a quack. They’d all had the same diagnosis. They believed she was sabotaging her pregnancies. Killing her precious babies.
They all recited the same mumbo-jumbo about the mind being stronger than the body and said that she was willing herself to lose her babies because she wouldn’t forgive herself for an abortion. That with her strong religious background, she’d committed an act that her conscious couldn’t deal with and now the guilt was surfacing in the form of miscarriages.
They knew nothing. She wasn’t that the one that needed to do the forgiving. She needed God’s forgiveness. She needed absolution, and the proof that he’d forgiven her would be when she delivered a healthy baby and presented it to Rashid.
Each time she’d discovered she was pregnant, she thought to herself, “This time, I’ve been forgiven and I’ll give my husband a child.” Each time, she’d been wrong. But the next time…the next time would be different. She’d stake her life on it.
* * * *
The next morning at work passed quickly but quietly as Gail caught up on some of the work that had accumulated in her absence. She’d seen neither hide nor hair of Greg, nor had she expected to do so. Last night he’d told her that he would be busy all morning with depositions.
Just when her stomach reminded her that it was time to take a break and eat, Greg appeared at her cubicle, seemingly from nowhere. “Let’s go.” He reached into the drawer where she kept her purse and snagged it. Pulling back her chair, he lifted her out of her seat and had her walking towards the elevator before she could get her wits about her.
“Where
are we going and what’s the rush?” she asked breathlessly, trying to keep up with his long-legged stride.
“Out of here. I need a break before I hurt someone,” Greg muttered as he jabbed the down button on the elevator.
“It was that bad?” she asked softly. Divorce cases were messy business, even the high profile ones.
The doors to the elevator glided open. The car was empty. Greg pulled her inside and jabbed the lobby button. As soon as the doors closed, he wrapped Gail in his arms and kissed her hungrily.
“I’d rather think about this,” he murmured when he lifted his head. “I missed you last night. I look forward to the night when you won’t feel the need to send me home.” He was leaning in for another kiss when the doors opened and another passenger got on.
They both backed up to make room and remained quiet the rest of the way down. Gail was glad for the opportunity to catch her breath. She was going to have to make a decision and make it soon about whether or not she wanted Greg as a lover. Otherwise, he would simply overwhelm her defenses and the choice would be out of her hands.
He was certainly attractive enough, and she enjoyed his company. At this point, she couldn’t tell if she was attracted to him or if she was just vulnerable to the attention he gave her because she’d gone without for so long. That’s what she didn’t know and needed to find out before things got out of hand.
The last thing she wanted to do was use the man and lead him on because she was horny, or until someone she really wanted came along. Right now, this was all speculation on her part. She had time and if she didn’t, she would make him give her the time she needed to explore the attraction between them and make sure there really was a physical attraction towards him on her part.
“Where are we going?” she asked again as they spilled out into the lobby and headed for the door.
“The café around the corner. They should have food you can eat and we’ll both get out of the office for awhile.” His hand was on the small of her back as he led her down the sidewalk.
In no time at all, they had their food and sat at a corner table. “How’s your day going?”
“Busy,” she said then she told him some of the research she was involved in. He offered some helpful tips and she made a mental note to look up the cases he referred her to.
“What time do you get off?”
“Two o’clock.” Her new schedule only allowed her to work six hours a day.
“What are your plans after work?”
“I’m going by the gym to walk on the treadmill for an hour. Then I need to go grocery shopping, since my cupboards are bare. After which, I’m headed home to cook dinner and relax.” Home to my own home, she thought. Lovely.
“I have some files to go over tonight, but I wouldn’t say no to a free meal and some entertainment if a certain somebody were feeling generous,” he said with a boyish grin on his face.
Gail observed his grin for a moment, and then had to laugh when he waggled his eyebrows invitingly. “Would you like to come over to my place after work for dinner and a movie?”
“Why, I would love to. How nice of you to ask. I’ll even bring the movie,” he offered generously.
Greg looked at his watch and swore. “I have to get back. I have a client coming in about ten minutes. Are you finished?”
“Yes, I’m done with this. I’m ready to go whenever you are.”
He took both their trays and threw their trash away. When he finished, Gail was by his side. They walked back to the office in silence. As they went their separate ways, Greg bent down and kissed Gail on the cheek. “See you tonight.”
Gail looked around cautiously, wondering if anyone had noticed the uncharacteristic display of affection by Greg. No one seemed to have. She gave a sigh of relief and headed for her cubicle. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to go public with their relationship.
Later that evening, Gail opened the door to a tired looking Greg. He was still in his business suit though the tie had loosened. A bulging briefcase hung from one arm and in his hand, he held a movie and a rose.
“Come in. You look tired. Are you just leaving the office?” Gail glanced at the clock on the mantle. It was a few minutes after seven.
“Yes. Some last minute business came up on one of the cases I’m working that had to be dealt with. It couldn’t wait.” He stooped and kissed her briefly on the mouth on his way in. “You look good enough to eat. What’s for dinner? I’m starved.” He handed her the movie and the rose.
“Thank you. I hope you like stir-fry because that’s what we’re eating. I have to stay away from greasy food and eat healthy. I foresee a lot of stir-fry in my future. It’s quick, easy, and healthy.” Gail led him into the living room.
“I’m all for quick and easy. Whatever you fix will be fine.”
“Here, sit down and make yourself comfortable. You said earlier you had files you needed to go over.”
“Yes, I did and I still do,” he said grimly, indicating the briefcase in his hand.
“Well, there’s the table. Feel free to spread out while I go prepare dinner. Give me twenty minutes and the food should be ready.”
“Thanks.” He took off his jacket and tie, rolled up his sleeves, and loosened the top two buttons of his shirt. Pulling the coffee table closer to the couch, he spread out his paperwork and got down to business.
“Would you like something to drink?” Gail asked, her hostess skill coming to the forefront.
“I don’t suppose you have any beer?” he asked, busy sorting papers.
“Nope, nothing alcoholic. I have soda, juice, or bottled water.” Then she rattled off the variety of juice and sodas she had on hand.
“Just bring me a bottle of water. That would be great.” His tone was distracted, his mind already focused on work.
Gail took a bottle of water out of the fridge and prepared a small tray of cheese and crackers to tide him over until dinner was done.
“Thanks,” he said absently when she set the items within reach, but safely out of the way of his paperwork.
Back in the kitchen, she took her time with dinner preparations, knowing Greg would need longer than the twenty minutes she’d offered him to review that mountain of files he had on her coffee table.
She bustled about the kitchen, humming under her breath as she worked. It was nice having a man to cook for and she was woman enough to admit. It was lonely cooking for one and a lot of times, she didn’t even make the effort. Food was to be shared and enjoyed, not just eaten as a means of survival.
She sliced the veggies and set them to the side. The meat was cubed, marinated, and waiting. The wok was on the stove heating. Gail was talking to herself, reviewing what she’d done and what still needed doing when an arm snaked around her waist, pulling her back into a hard body. “Do you always talk to yourself when you cook?”
Gail shrieked and would have jumped a few inches off of the ground if he hadn’t been holding her.
“Did I frighten you?” he asked with a chuckle.
“No, I always go around jumping and screaming for no reason. Don’t do that,” she commanded and pinched him on the arm. “Make some noise or something. It’s not nice to sneak up on people.”
“But you looked so cute. I didn’t want to intrude on your conversation with yourself. It would have been rude.” He reached out and took a green pepper, dancing out of the way when she tried to slap his hand.
“Very funny. Har, har, har. Are you done going over your files? I thought you’d still be at it.”
“I’m done for now. I’m tired of working and ready to play. Want to play with me? We can play doctor. You get to be the patient. Take off your clothes and let me examine you,” he said with a leer.
“I’ll pass, thanks.” Judging the grease hot enough, she threw the meat into the wok, waving away the blanket of steam that arose. Once she deemed the meat done enough, she added the veggies.
“You did that like a pro. I’m impressed.” Gail glanced
over to find Greg watching her, an intent look on his face. “You like to cook?”
“Love to, but it’s not much fun cooking for one,” she confessed.
“You can cook for me anytime.”
“How do you know that I’m a good cook? You haven’t even tasted this.” She turned off the burner and moved the wok. “Hand me those plates, please.”
He passed her the plates she indicated and she scooped up food for both of them. Greg took the plate and fork she handed him, and immediately took a bite of food.
“This is good.” He nudged her out from in front of the stove and added more food to his plate.
“Help yourself,” she said dryly. “Please, feel right at home.”
He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I’m going to ignore the sarcasm, because I know inside that feminist heart of yours there’s a southern belle that’s tickled pink that I like your food enough to get more,” he smirked.
She laughed, knowing he was right. The complaint was for show.
“Would you think I was a heathen if I suggested eating in front of the TV while we watch the movie?”
“No, I would have suggested it myself but I didn’t want you think I was trying to rush you out of here.” Gail grabbed her food and got a drink from the fridge, motioned for Greg to do the same, and headed for the living room.
Greg cleared the papers off the table and set his food down. Then he went and set up the movie and started it playing. They ate through the previews and by time the feature started, they were almost done eating.
The movie was one of those action packed thrillers that captured her attention from the very beginning and held it. She barely noticed Greg clearing the plates from the table and taking them into the kitchen.
He returned with bottles of water for both of them. She murmured a complaint when he repositioned both of their bodies so that he reclined on his back on one of the couch pillows and she lay between his legs, her head and chest supported by his back.
