by V. A. Dold
Being in the same room with her made his lungs burn for air and his heart hammer in his chest. His unused anatomy hardened of its own accord for the first time since Janice passed. Normally, he required intense stimulation or prescription drugs, but Carol revved his engines by simply sharing the same air with him. There had to be an explanation for his uncharacteristic reaction that he’d missed.
He gave Carol a hard look.
Isn’t she beautiful! Jacob prompted.
She was short by any standard. She couldn’t be over five foot one or two. So, it wasn’t that she had a pair of legs that went on for miles. Although, she did have a killer, curvy figure. Her faded, well-worn blue jeans showed off her hips and caboose perfectly.
His gaze went to her face. She wasn't the most beautiful woman in the world. Heck, he saw more beautiful women every time he went to town, but his heart and soul insisted there was no woman who could compete with her. Ah hell, this wasn’t working. He might as well throw in the towel. He had no idea what was going on.
Carol poured the remaining tea into a teapot and covered it with a towel. She set the kettle aside to cool, took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and turned fully toward him with two steaming cups. Trying to not make eye contact, she placed one on the table at his chair. She hadn’t been alone with a man since the disaster named Terry. They had been together for so long she wasn’t sure she remembered how to socialize with the opposite sex.
Not that this was a date or anything, but still she felt awkward and unprepared. “I hope you like this. It's relaxing and will help you sleep. It always helps me, and Kensie swears by it.”
She was shocked when Joe stepped forward to pull her chair and then waited for her to take a seat before joining her. She stopped herself from giggling when she noticed his white hat sitting next to his teacup on the table, remembering her conversation with Kensie. At least he hadn’t ridden up on a white horse.
He settled across from her and gave her a sweet smile. “Thank you. It smells delicious.”
When he didn’t pick up his cup, she wondered if he liked tea or if he’d just been polite when she’d offered. Before she could offer him an alternative beverage, he picked up the dainty cup and took a sip. This time she couldn’t suppress her giggle. The cup looked ridiculous in his large hand, and his surprised expression was hilarious.
Carol cocked her head and bit her lip to keep from laughing. “You’ve never had tea before have you?”
Joe shook his head. A sheepish grin tugged at his lips and a sparkle lit his deep brown eyes. “To be honest. I haven’t. And Roy was wrong. This stuff is pretty good.”
Carol held her cup halfway to her mouth. “Roy?”
“He’s the barn manager.”
“That’s right, I met him earlier. So, what was he wrong about?”
He laughed softly. “He once told me tea tasted like a bunch of dead leaves.”
Carol almost shot tea out of her nose. “Dead leaves? I suppose the cheap stuff might taste like that.”
Joe chuckled, gave her a sexy smile, and took another sip. “Regardless, he was wrong about your tea. This is tasty.” Then he leaned forward and lowered his voice. “But don’t tell the guys. I would never hear the end of it.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice, mimicking his movement. Then she crossed her heart. “I promise, I won’t tell a soul.”
Joe sat back in his chair and laughed. Then he raised his cup in salute and drained it.
You like her sense of humor and thinks she’s sexy, Jacob whispered in his mind.
When he set it back on its saucer, she swore there was heated interest in his eyes. Like smoking hot interest.
The way amusement transformed his face was panty melting. Then he had to go and look at her like that. She’d never been able to visualize what romance authors meant when they wrote about shining eyes or the heat in a hero’s gaze. Until now. Now she got it. Really got it. It made her a little lightheaded to think that a handsome cowboy like Joe might be interested in her. At the same time, it scared the heck out of her. She didn’t want a hot cowboy sniffing around. Did she?
Stacy nodded excitedly. Sure you do.
Joe was the type of guy that could have any woman he wanted. And guys that look like him tended to take what they wanted from her and toss her aside. She didn’t need that again.
He won’t hurt you like Terry did. Joe’s different. He’s special, Stacy insisted.
Jacob quickly whispered. You really want another cup of tea.
Joe looked at his cup and then at her. “Could I bother you for another?”
“Oh, yes. Of course.” Thankful she had a reason to put a little space between them so she could get her mind straight. As she took hold of the teapot it occurred to her, she could control the situation with harmless small talk. Yeah, that was it. When she sat down, she’d ask him about himself.
She set his cup before him and took her seat. “So, I take it you work here on the ranch?”
“I’m the foreman for the cattle division of the operation.” He gestured out the front door. “I guess you could say, I’m your new neighbor. Like Kensie said, I have the large cabin with the white picket fence just across the way.”
“Have you lived here for very long or were you hired by the Le Beaus?”
Joe’s expression saddened. “I’ve lived here for quite a while. When Lucas purchased the ranch he kept me on.”
She watched as he made an effort to smile before he spoke again. A smile that curved his lips, but failed to brighten his eyes.
“So, besides being Kensie’s best friend, what brought you to the ranch?”
“I was her office manager at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. When she moved here, she asked me to join her and help her open a clinic in town. There wasn’t anything holding me in Minnesota, so here I am.”
She didn’t elaborate. There was no reason to tell a stranger about her sister’s betrayal with her cheating ex. TMI wasn’t her style. Although she was curious as to why he seemed sad when she’d asked him about living here, she wasn’t about to pry. Didn’t he like being the ranch foreman? Maybe she would ask Kensie about him tomorrow.
Joe wondered if somehow she knew about his past and Janice. Her gaze was far too assessing for someone who didn’t have prior knowledge. Then again, maybe he was being paranoid. Putting the focus back on her would easily solve the issue, so that was exactly what he’d do. “You said nothing was keeping you in Minnesota. Don’t you have family there?”
Carol inhaled sharply, her gaze fell to the floor, and then she let her breath out in a long slow hiss. She took another breath and her expression became a blank slate for a moment before he received a forced smile. Watching her did funny things to his heart. An odd combination of protectiveness and concern overtook him. The emotions were utterly terrifying. What had caused her to react so strongly to his question? He caught himself before the question crossed his lips.
She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I have a sister, but I don’t speak to her anymore. Let’s leave it at that.” She tilted her head. “I decided family is what you make it. There are those you are born into and those you choose. I’m happier with those I have chosen. People like Kensie.”
Joe nodded. “I can understand that. The ranch hands are more family to me than my blood kin. Most of whom I haven’t seen in years.” Well, except for his parents and children.
You should tell her about the children. If you don’t, she won’t trust you when she finds out. Jacob advised.
Joe pressed his lips together.
Carol’s smile warmed her eyes for the first time. “A kindred spirit. It’s nice to talk to someone who understands.”
When she smiled, a real full out, eyes crinkling smile, she was an absolutely beautiful creature. The pleasure in her soft gray, intelligent gaze warmed his heart and was studying him much too intensely. Her unguarded expression and her voice, which was faintly reminisc
ent of his mother’s when she sang to him as a child, gave peace to his torn spirit. If he wasn’t careful, she could easily charm her way into his unavailable heart.
Give her a chance. You won’t regret it.
Joe could feel her questioning gaze. He must have been staring at her for much longer than was appropriate. He had to say something so he blurted the first thing that popped into his mind. “Do you have a boyfriend back in Minnesota?” Why the heck did he ask that? He hadn’t even been thinking that.
Chapter 3
Carol narrowed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. She didn’t answer, simply brought the teacup to her lips and sipped. Damn, she had a beautiful mouth. Full, soft lips just begging to be kissed. What the heck was wrong with him? He felt the weight of her gaze and wanted to make a run for the door before he said anything else. But before he could push his chair from the table she spoke.
“What has Kensie told you?” There was no emotion in her voice, it was flat and lacked the musical quality from earlier. “Did she tell you to come by tonight and turn on the charm?”
Calm down, he doesn’t know about Terry. Stacy assured.
He raked both hands through his hair and shook his head. “Kensie hasn’t said a word to me about you. Although I’m sorry for asking such a personal question, your reaction makes me wonder if someone hurt you. And she never told me to turn on the charm. There’s something about you that makes me feel things I haven’t felt in a very long time. I apologize for being out of line.”
Then he raised an eyebrow and asked. “Would you like me to kick his ass?”
His question must have shocked her out of her black mood. He watched her dark expression evaporate into a full smile as she shook her head and laughed.
She likes you, and you’re interested in her, too. You should ask her out on a date. She’s the one for you.
His heart leapt in his chest. Was that hope he was feeling? No, it couldn’t be. His heart didn’t work like that anymore. But there was no denying that the glint in her eyes robbed him of breath. The realization that he hadn’t had reactions this intense when he had been with Janice was like a punch to his gut. He’d loved Janice. There was no refuting that. But for the first time since she died, he questioned whether he could find love again. Oddly, he didn’t feel the wave of guilt that normally squeezed his chest when he thought of his wife.
The touch of Carol’s hand on his startled him from his thoughts. “Thank you for the offer, but no, I don’t need you to kick his ass. Even if I knew where he and my sister disappeared too, they aren’t worth the effort. Although, I would like my dog back.”
Joe couldn't help smiling as he wondered about what she’d said. There was something contagious about Carol’s joy. “Him and your sister?”
She pulled her hand away, and her smile faded. “It’s a long story. Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.”
“All right, I’ll hold you to that because it seems to be important.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “It’s getting late, and I have an early morning. Thank you for the tea and charming company.”
Carol picked up the cups and saucers, put them in the sink, and followed him out the door. “You’re welcome. Come by for a nightcap anytime you have trouble sleeping.”
Joe grinned up at her from the bottom step and tipped his white hat. “I’ll do that. Good night, Carol.”
“Good night, Joe.”
She closed the door, sagged against it, and left out a long breath. Her hand went to her fluttering heart. That cowboy was potent. And confusing. A war waged between her heart and mind. Her mind said hell no, but her heart said hell yes! Joe made her feel alive. She didn’t want to feel alive or be affected by a man. That was a dangerous road she didn’t intend to travel down. Her mind insisted, simply existing was safer and enough for her. Her dang heart had its own ideas.
“Carol, get a grip. You don’t need a handsome cowboy messing up your new life. Men are nothing but trouble, and you know it.” Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth. What if he was still outside and close enough to hear? She lifted a corner of the lacy curtain covering the small window in her door. Thank God! Her porch and yard was a cowboy free zone.
She needed to take her mind off her new neighbor. She shrugged off her crazy thoughts and tugged her suitcase over to the queen-size bed.
You’re lying to yourself. You like him and want to get to know him better. You think he’s attractive and sexy. Stacy whispered.
She reached for the zipper and stopped. Slowly, she sank to the mattress and stared at her trembling hands. Who was she kidding? Joe affected her in ways that were hard to ignore.
She closed her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. Getting caught up in cowboy fantasies would end badly. For all of a second, she considered going back to Minnesota. She could find a new apartment and maybe get her job back. The thought made her stomach hurt.
Stacy’s persistent voice whispered in her mind. “You want to be touched again. Not the lukewarm affection you got from Terry, but to experience real desire. That’s what you really want.”
“Oh, shut up,” she grumbled out loud at her crazy thoughts. She hated Terry for taking off with her sister Chloe and turning her into an emotionally unavailable woman.
You don’t have to refuse to date. Take a walk on the wild side. Save a horse and all that, Stacy encouraged.
Carol scowled and flipped her suitcase open. “Save a horse my ass.”
She was unpacked, and the teacups were washed. There was nothing left to do but get some sleep. Lying in her bed, totally alone, without her dog, her thoughts turned to that cowboy again. In a single breath, she cursed both her ex and the annoying cowboy.
Not that the cowboy had done her harm, but dang it, she didn’t need him invading her thoughts, and her ex was a straight up shit for taking her dog. He could keep her bitch of a sister, but she wanted her dog back.
Fantasizing never hurt anyone. Who will know?
Ah heck, if her stupid brain insisted on going there, a little fantasizing couldn’t hurt as long as it didn’t spill over into real life, right?
As her eyes grew heavy, her wayward mind imagined meeting Mr. Hot and Sexy somewhere romantic, like Paris. Her lips twitched into a little smile as she imagined him sweeping her off her feet with poetry and flowers. Just as she was leaning in for a kiss, the unexpected sound of a wild animal howling brought her crashing back to her empty cabin and empty bed. Her eyes shot to the door to verify she’d locked it. Then she pulled the blanket up to her chin. This was asinine. She hadn’t spent more than a half hour with the man, and she was having naughty thoughts about him. She really needed to get a hobby. Maybe knitting. Her grandmother used to knit. She could give that a go.
To say she had a restless first night was an understatement. Carol tossed and turned. She threw the covers off just to pull them up to her chin when a night breeze chilled her skin. She glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table that Kensie kindly provided. Whoever invented digital clocks was a masochist. Two hours less sleep than she’d hoped for. Tomorrow was going to require several cups of coffee.
For the first time in her life, she was alone. She’d always had her sister as a roommate and Tug, her dog shared her bed when her ex wasn’t sucking up all the air in the room. Now she had neither, and she was in a strange cabin at the other end of the country. Tears blurred her vision, but she quickly blinked them away. This was her life now, and she needed to buck up and deal with it.
Terry didn’t deserve one more minute of her time. She had already wasted three years of her life on the bastard. As of this second, she refused to waste any more of the time she had left.
She dried her eyes and took a deep breath. As long as she couldn’t sleep, she might as well think about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. One of her friends from the hospital had told her she needed a rebound. She’d insisted other women did it, and it seemed to work for them.
It’s not like she was an ol
d maid. Thirty-five wasn’t that old by today’s standards. Joe wasn’t such a bad option. Was he? She was attracted to him, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was interested as well. She nodded to herself in the dark. She wouldn’t write him off just yet, but she wasn’t going to jump into bed with him either. No, it was better to hang back and assess the situation further before moving forward.
Carol held up a hand and ticked off her life one finger at a time. She had an interesting job with a great boss. She had a roof over her head. She had a new horse. She possibly had Joe. The only thing she was missing was Tug. A smile pulled at her lips. Looking at it that way, relocating to Texas was a dang good move on her part.
Worry was quickly replaced by excitement. This was her chance to have a new beginning. Maybe after she was done at the office tomorrow, she scowled at the clock, or should she say today, she would take Oreo out for a ride. Based on what Kensie told her, the ranch was enormous, and they had a river running through it. She would ride out, take a look, and see what Texas had to offer.
Smiling and finally tired enough to sleep, she closed her eyes, anticipating the next phase of her life.
*****
Bright and early the next morning, still bleary-eyed, Carol climbed out of the shower. Kensie told her to take a few days to settle in, but she needed to stay busy. There was no time like the present to get the new office in order. She had a system, and there was no way she was going to let Kensie unpack the files and mess it up.
She stared into her closet and yawned. Then yawned again. This was going to be a long day. There wouldn’t be patients coming in, so she didn’t need office attire. Jeans and a T-shirt would do. Dressed and in dire need of coffee, she went in search of the dining room.
As she closed and locked her cabin, she heard gravel crunching underfoot. Carol spun around to find Joe walking toward her with his hat in his hand. This hat was brown and stained with sweat. That must be the hat he wears for work, she thought.
“Good morning, Miss Carol. I was just headed to the barn when I saw you coming out.”
