by V. A. Dold
One hand stayed at the small of her back while the other bunched in her hair. He deepened the kiss, and she responded in kind. His entire body reacted. Nothing he had ever experienced prepared him for the force of their connection. The feel of her delicate lips and the weight of her body as it leaned into his became his entire world.
When she slowly ended the kiss and pulled away, he forced himself to loosen his grip when all he wanted to do was pull her back and kiss her again.
Carol touched her mouth, blushing fiercely.
She rested her hand against his chest and glanced up at him. He could see the uncertainty mixed with desire in her eyes. He needed to wipe the indecision away.
When she didn’t speak, he cleared his throat. “Maybe we should try the exercise one more time. The doctor wanted you to be sure you were comfortable with each level before we progress to the next.”
“Good idea,” she quickly agreed and stepped back to position herself on the floor.
Joe took her by the waist again and an instant later she was once more wrapped in his arms. What’s a red-blooded male to do? His lips found hers in an instant. Their breath mingled and tongues danced as hands began to roam.
Carol broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against his chest. “Is this a good idea? Maybe we should stop.”
He searched her eyes for evidence of fear. “Why?”
“Because if we don’t, we might end up in my bed.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” He smiled and dipped his mouth toward hers again.
“Look, Joe, I like you a lot. I’m just not sure I’m ready to get serious. I don’t have the best track record with men, and I don’t want to mess this up. Okay?”
“Does your track record have something to do with the man who took off with your sister?”
Carol rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “Yeah, it does.”
“It’s okay to be gun shy when you’ve been hurt.”
She stole a glance at him. “It is?”
He took one of her hands and pulled her closer, but not into his arms. “Yes. And as long as you tell me when I’m going too fast, I won’t push you further than your ready to go. I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you—but I don’t want to pressure you and scare you off. Believe me, I’m a bit scared myself. I haven’t had a relationship with a woman since my wife passed. With you, it’s a real effort to keep my head straight and my hands to myself. But you’re worth the effort.”
He felt her relax a bit. “Our attraction is kind of intense, isn’t it?”
Joe traced her cheek with his knuckles. “I’ve never felt anything like it. With that said, if you tell me to slow down, I will. But that won’t stop me from thinking about what I want to do with you. I’m not trying to scare you. I’m being as honest as I can be so you’ll trust me. A man can fantasize about a woman without taking action. Please, say you’ll give us the chance to see where this goes.”
Carol sighed. “Yes, I’ll give this a chance. It scares me, but I’d like to see where this goes, too.”
Joe let out a whoop and hugged her tight. “Great. You had me scared there for a minute.”
Carol gave him a little smile. “I had myself scared, too.”
Joe stepped away and took her hand again. “Come over here and sit with me. I know you’ve been hurt, and if you’re ready, I’d like to hear the story. Knowing what happened might help me avoid stupid mistakes.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s not a pretty story.”
He studied her for a minute, gauging how far to push it. “You’re not the only one with a story, Carol. If you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”
She chewed her lower lip, avoiding eye contact.
He used one finger to gently lift her chin until she looked him in the eye. Her eyes flickered left and right, searching his face, for what, he wasn’t sure.
“Sweetheart, I know this is hard. Hey, look at me.” He waited until she focused on his eyes. “My story is difficult to tell, but if it makes you more comfortable, I’ll go first.”
Carol sucked in a sharp breath. “You would do that?”
He held her gaze and smiled. “For you? Absolutely.”
“What if.” She looked away and bit her lip. Finally, she looked him in the eyes again. “What if, after you tell me, I can’t go through with it?”
Joe cupped her face with both hands. “Then I’ll wait until you feel comfortable enough to tell me. Darlin’, trust must be earned. This is me earning yours.”
He captured her lips and kissed her. His fingers threaded through her hair, and he deepened the kiss. Her tongue slid against his in a seductive dance that tested his resolve to go slow. Before he got carried away, he gave her one last sweet kiss. Breathing heavily, he took her hands and put a sliver of distance between them so he could collect his thoughts.
He gave her a sheepish grin. “Where to begin? Okay. Janice had a group of woman from our church that she met with every week. They kind of filled in the gaps that state and county social services didn’t cover. If a child needed a winter coat or a new pair of shoes, they took care of it. If a single expectant mother needed medical assistance, they helped her get it. When they weren’t helping someone, they were organizing fundraisers. She said they needed to be prepared for whatever the good lord laid in their path.”
Joe stood and paced the cabin as he continued. “One night, she got a call from a battered woman on the run from her husband. The woman needed a safe place to stay while her lawyer filed divorce papers. I begged her to stay home. A storm was headed our way, and the roads in these parts are prone to flash floods.”
He shook his head and scrubbed his face with his hands. “She didn’t listen. Insisted she would be fine. After she left home, I realized we were out of milk and bread. I didn’t want her out longer than necessary, so I went to the store myself. While I was in town, I stopped at the café’ to pick up a pie. She loved their cherry pie.”
He stopped in front of her picture window and stared into the darkness. “I was coming out of the café’ when emergency vehicles screamed by. I watched them rush to an accident a couple of blocks down. I wasn’t sure if I could be of much good, but I ran to help anyway. I was about twenty feet away when I recognized the car smashed between the live oak and a semi. Janice’s car.”
Carol gasped. “Oh, my God, Joe. I’m so sorry.”
Joe stiffened when he felt arms wrap around him from behind. Her offered comfort pulled him from the nightmarish images he was reliving. He took a shaky breath and relaxed into her embrace. He didn’t turn from the window though. He wasn’t ready for her to see the tears streaming down his face.
In a quiet voice, he said. “I haven’t told that story in a very long time.”
Finally, he turned and held her tightly to him. He needed her strength. “After I lost Janice, I believed I had my shot and lost it. I didn’t date or encourage the woman who tried to get my attention until you came into my life. The day you arrived, I visited her grave. Something happened.”
Carol pulled back enough to see his face. “What?”
He loosened his hold and walked her back to the bed. “What I’m about to tell you is going to sound crazy. Please, try to keep an open mind.”
Her brows pulled together. “Okay.”
“Janice spoke to me. She told me I needed to move on and love again.”
He saw a smile tugged at Carol’s lips. “She did?”
“Yeah. Freaked the hell out of me.” He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“I’m sure it did. One of my friends up north told me her deceased mother speaks to her every once in a while. Usually when she’s gotten herself into a scrape of some sort. She jokes that even in death, her mother found a way to give her a lecture.”
“It’s good to know that I’m not the only one hearing voices.”
Carol placed her hand over his heart. “I really am sorry for your loss, Joe.”
The rough ca
lluses of his hand brush across the back of hers, then his fingers closed to grasp her hand. “Thank you. Whew! That was tough.”
She nodded. “I could tell. I appreciate your trust and honesty.” Slowly and with many pauses to compose herself when she felt like she would shatter, she recounted her past. She left nothing out. She even told him how Terry had used it all against her. “Larry was convicted, and as far as I know, he’s still in prison, and if I ever find Terry, he’ll pay too. I can’t believe the bastard took my dog.” Stomach churning, she waited on pins and needles for his reaction.
“Carol.” There was pain and anger in Joe's voice. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known, I never would have pulled you from Oreo. I was confused by your behavior. All I wanted to do was talk. Please, believe me.”
The tiniest bit of hope blossomed in her heart, and she turned to look at him. Her gaze collided with his. Guilt and regret dulled the glint she’d become accustomed to.
“I know that, Joe. There’s no need for you to apologize. That’s why I went to see Dr. Moore. This is my problem, not yours. I need to deal with the fear, and get past it, once and for all.”
He pulled her palm to his chest and searched her eyes. “It’s not yours to face alone. Not anymore.”
How had she gotten so lucky? “Thank you. I’ve been managing on my own for a long time. I’m not used to someone helping me.”
“Like it or not, you’re stuck with me, Darlin’. I’m in this for the long haul.” He reached for her, caressed the nape of her neck with his fingers, and waited. “May I kiss you?”
Carol raised her lips to his as he lowered his mouth to hers. Emotionally exhausted, she melted against him.
Like a whisper, his lips brushed hers. He made no demands of her, didn’t rush. She cherished the care he was taking, but she needed more.
Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck. She craved his touch as much as her heart and mind needed to feel safe again. Joe provided all of those things.
He pulled her closer and tested her resolve. His tongue tempted her lips. Happy to oblige, she yielded to him. She moaned softly into his mouth when his tongue brushed hers.
Too soon, he pulled away and opened his eyes. Confused, she frowned. Why did he stop?
Joe pressed his forehead against hers as their ragged breaths mingled. “What we have is too important to rush.”
“Thank God. For a minute, I thought you changed your mind.”
“Never going to happen, darlin’. You seemed to be okay when I helped you from the floor. Should we try a hay bale or chair tomorrow?”
“Yeah, okay.”
She walked him to the door and leaned in for another kiss. He didn’t disappoint. Again, he kissed her senseless and pulled away before she could haul him back to her bed.
“Good night, sweetheart.”
“Good night, Joe” She watched him until he was inside his house and closed the door. She leaned her head against the doorjamb and sighed. If Joe hadn't possessed a resolve of iron and stopped at just kissing, she would have made love to him. She knew he was holding back for her sake, not because he wanted to. She tapped her forehead against the doorframe, trying to knock some sense into her head. She should have pushed a little harder and kept him in her bed all night.
Finally, she closed the door and readied for bed. She lay awake for a long time, hot and bothered, thinking of the sexy man across the road. Darn the man for having chivalrous cowboy manners. Still thinking about his kisses, she fell to sleep with a grin on her face.
*****
Two days later, Carol poured a cup of coffee and took it out to the porch. She loved Texas in the morning. Settling into a rocking chair, she took a sip. She loved the greens and grays that mixed together to resemble a beautiful watercolor painting of the rolling landscape.
The sky was a gorgeous blue with only a few fluffy white clouds for decoration. It was going to be a lovely day.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The Texas air was lighter and more crisp. Not like the heavy, humid air of Minnesota. She’d never cared for the hot, humid summers and didn’t miss them one bit.
Not for the first time, Carol was thankful that Kensie convinced her to move. While she would miss the few friends she’d left behind, she loved it here. Besides, she had her best friend, the clinic, and Joe. That was all she needed.
A cabin door slamming interrupted her thoughts. She looked to see the strange man she’d seen a couple of days earlier. He stood in the shadows of his porch looking her direction, but she still couldn’t make out his face. It looked like he was staring at her, but she couldn’t be sure.
She was about to go inside when the sound of a truck parking across the way changed her mind. She watched as Joe exited the cab as gracefully as he dismounted a horse. His long legs made short work of the space between his place and her porch.
She loved to watch him move. Joe had the self-assured air of a lifelong cowboy, loose-limbed with a sexy rolling gate. The fact that he didn’t find it necessary to act macho made him even sexier.
Joe stopped at the base of her stairs and tipped his hat. “Would you care for company?”
Glancing down at the cup in her hand, she smiled. “I would love some. Would you like a cup?”
“Coffee would be more than welcome. Thank you.”
“Take a seat, and I’ll be right back.”
When she returned, she had to grin. He looked content and at home. Like he belonged on her porch. His eyes twinkled, and he flashed her a big smile when she handed him the cup.
“Do you have any plans today?” Joe asked and then took a sip.
“Fridays are a half day at the clinic. I have to be there in about an hour. But I should be home by two o’clock unless we have an emergency.”
“Great. We have a bonfire here every Friday night. Would you like to have dinner with me in town? And if you would like, we could go to the bonfire after.”
“Why, Joe Christian, are you asking me out on a real date?”
“Yes, I do believe I am.”
“In that case, I accept. Should I wear something special?”
“I thought I would take you to the Italian place in town. So, I guess kind of casual.”
“Okay, I can do that. Would you like another cup of coffee?”
“I would love one, but I have to get going. I have a lot to do today.” Joe handed her his cup and walked her to her door. “I’ll see you at six, okay?”
“I’ll be ready. Have a good day.”
“You, too.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and headed toward the horse barn.
Joe felt his phone vibrate in his pocket right as he stopped in front of his horse’s stall. “Hello?”
“Hi, Joe. How are you doing without the kids?” his mother, Marlys asked.
“Hi, Mom. It’s pretty quiet around the house, but I’m doing okay. How are you and Dad doing?”
“We’re great. We were wondering if you could survive without the kids for a little longer? We would like to come and get them when they get home from camp.”
“Sure, they love staying with you. How long do you want them to stay?”
“Could we have them for a week? I know that’s asking a lot, but there’s going to be a fair in town with a rodeo, and we would like to take them to a few of the nightly events.”
“I think I can live without them for an extra week. I’ll need to wash their clothes first though.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll do the laundry when they get here.”
“Okay. They should be here by noon on Sunday.”
“Excellent, we’ll be there and snatch them before they know what’s happening.” Marlys laughed.
“All right. I’ll see you Sunday. Goodbye, Mom.”
“Goodbye. See you soon.”
Joe stuffed his phone in his pocket. Guilt began to niggle at him for not telling Carol about the kids. He wanted to, but he had a hard and fast rule. The kids stayed separate from his love life.
Until he was sure he had a serious relationship, there was no reason to involve Tracy and Troy. If things kept going as well as they were with Carol, he would tell her. But not yet.
*****
Carol was slipping on her flats when she heard a knock at the door.
“Hi, Joe. Don’t you look dashing!” He stood on her porch, his white Stetson in one hand and a bouquet of red roses in the other. He was all man, from his pressed dress shirt to his black jeans, and new boots.
She turned to grab her sweater and when he didn’t say a word she glanced back at him. He looked shell-shocked. She prayed his expression was because she looked good in the outfit she’d chosen. Maybe the tailored blouse was too tight? She had a lot of curves, and that particular top showed every one of them off.
“Is everything okay?” she finally asked.
He cleared his throat and croaked, “You look amazing.”
Carol hid her grin. Apparently, the dress was working its magic on Joe. “Thank you.”
Joe thrust the flowers toward her. “Um, these are for you.”
“They’re gorgeous, thank you. Just give me a minute to put them in water.”
Carol swore he muttered, “not as gorgeous as you,” as she walked to the kitchenette.
A few minutes later, Joe helped Carol into his truck.
He glanced at her and back at the road. “I have a six-thirty reservation at Rubio’s. I think you’ll like the place. They have the best food in town.”
“I’m sure I will. I love Italian.”
The instant they entered the restaurant, a man she guessed was the owner beamed and rushed to greet them. “Joe! It’s great to see you. It’s been too long since you’ve visited my little restaurant. Who’s the lovely lady with you?”
“Hello, Angelo. This is Miss Carol. She is Kensie’s friend who just moved here from Minnesota.” He released Angelo’s hand and placed his palm at the small of Carol’s back. “Sweetheart, this is Angelo. He and his wife, Maria own Rubio’s.”
Angelo took her hand and kissed her fingers, making a grand show of the experience. “It is a pleasure to meet such a special lady. Any woman who can get Joe off that ranch and on a date is magical indeed.”
