by April Lust
“You could have told me,” Xander stuttered out. His head was spinning. He couldn’t get a grip on how he felt.
“I know, I know, I should have realized that,” Olivia admitted. “I was stupid, but I thought…I thought I understood the club. I thought that nobody would believe me, because I’m not a part of the family, you know.”
“You are a part of the family,” Xander said in a low voice. “You are.”
“I am?” Olivia asked, finally raising her head to stare back at Xander.
“Yes,” Xander said, almost in a whisper. But this time he wasn’t scared. He looked at Olivia directly in the eyes now. “You’re a part of my club. My family.”
***
Olivia willed her heart to calm down, but it was no use. At this rate it was going to break through her battered ribcage and fall to the floor at Xander’s feet. It was what he deserved, after everything. He deserved proof. So Olivia would have to give it to him.
She reached over with trembling fingers and touched Xander’s face, lightly stroking over his cheeks and jaw. “I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I was protecting you, but I abandoned you.”
“I felt like…I felt like I lost everything,” Xander said, his voice shaking a little. “Like it was Marta all over again. I felt like I was poison and nothing good would ever stay with me.”
Olivia felt tears start to press, hot and insistent, at the back of her eyes. She swallowed hard to try to keep them at bay. “I know. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
Xander looked confused, his brow scrunched up in that way he had that made him look like an adorable puppy. “Forgive you?”
“Please,” Olivia whispered. “Please forgive me.”
Xander reached forward and pushed some of the bloody hair out of Olivia’s face. “Of course,” he whispered. “Of course.”
“You deserve better,” Olivia said, willing herself to push his hand away. She didn’t deserve it. “You deserve somebody strong enough to fight for you.”
“I have that,” Xander argued back in a low whisper as he leaned forward to brush his lips against a sensitive spot on her chin. “My warrior.”
The tears biding their time behind Olivia’s eyes finally broke through, and she didn’t try to blink them away. She had used up all her strength today. She sniffled and cleared her throat to speak while Xander’s fingers traced the cuts and bruises on her face. “Yeah, I’m really tough,” she said sarcastically.
“You are,” Xander said seriously, his lips brushing up to her neck and ear, and that was all it took. A second later Olivia was all-out sobbing, tears rushing down her face so fast they blinded her. She fell into Xander’s arms, absolutely collapsing against his body.
“Are you okay?” Xander whispered against her head, dropping sweet little kisses against her sensitive scalp.
“Yes, yes, I’m just—I’m so proud of you,” Olivia sobbed into his lap, clutching onto him with all her strength.
“Yeah?” Xander said, and Olivia didn’t have to look at his face to tell he was smiling.
“I guess today I realized I can be tough, but you—you can be soft, too,” Olivia said, wiping the side of her face dry as her sobs ceased. “And I’m just so proud to see it.”
Xander ran his hands over the back of her head, carefully avoiding pulling or pushing too hard. Everything on Olivia’s body was still sensitive from the fight, but at least they had both stopped bleeding from their wounds. Spread over his lap, Olivia could see his torn-up hands, so she reached over to pick one up gently and bring it to her mouth. “Thank you,” she whispered into his skin.
“Any time,” Xander said, tangling his fingers with hers.
Olivia felt a dull pain spring up at the back of her head, so she leaned more into Xander’s touch, wanting to feel comforted and protected.
“You tired?” Xander asked, using his free hand to rub at the back of her head again.
Olivia shook her head, but then reconsidered it. She did want to rest, but her body still felt so tense. She wasn’t sure if she could relax with all that had happened. Xander must have sensed her tension because he rubbed his hand down from her head and over her back, down to her ass and then back up again, cradling her closer in his arms.
“What are we going to do about those guys? The Souls who were beating me up,” Olivia asked.
Xander squeezed her more tightly. “I don’t know. I just hope they haven’t converted the whole club.”
“You think they all hate us that badly?” Olivia asked with a laugh. “I tried not to be so annoying.”
“No, I don’t know,” Xander said. “I just feel like they all hate me.”
“They don’t. They love you,” Olivia argued.
“Maybe,” Xander said, but he didn’t sound like he believed it. “If you’re tired, you should sleep.”
Olivia immediately recognized that Xander changed the subject, but she decided not to push it. She was pretty fucking tired, after all. She cuddled deeper into his lap, her face nuzzling his crotch. She could smell him, his deep inner scent, the one she could only smell if you were this close to his body. She felt safe in his arms, like the whole day hadn’t happened, like nothing bad had ever happened to her.
In this way, she drifted off, her muscles relaxing at once, falling into his arms without doubt. As she slipped her way into sleep, she heard Xander murmur something, but she couldn’t quite make it out. The last thing she felt was the grip of his arms wrapping around her to carry her into bed.
Sometime later, Olivia twitched herself awake, a smile on her lips. She slowly blinked her eyes open to see Xander staring down at her. She must have been asleep for hours, as the view of the sky provided by the single window in the back room was deep purple. Twilight had fallen.
“You were talking in your sleep,” Xander said, doing that gorgeous half-smile of his as he brushed some of the hair away from Olivia’s forehead.
“Hmm?” Olivia murmured in response.
“Sayin’ nice things to me,” Xander murmured.
“Like what?” Olivia asked, blushing in embarrassment.
“None of your business,” Xander said, grinning at her. But after a second the smile faded from his face. Olivia reached down to tickle his fingers, trying to make him laugh. Xander squirmed but shifted so his whole body sat on the bed, reaching out to wrap an arm under her waist. Olivia reached for his toes, playing with them with her fingers.
“What’re you doing?” Xander asked, smiling a little at her as he dodged her tickles.
“Trying to figure out what’s wrong. Can you tell me?” Olivia asked, digging her fingers gently into the side of his neck, causing him to tilt his head back to give her better access.
“It’s nothing,” he whispered, his throat working furiously as he spoke. Olivia dipped her fingers lower, dancing over his Adam’s apple.
“You can tell me,” she murmured softly.
“It’s just—” Xander cut himself off, shutting his eyes and rocking his head back harder onto Olivia’s lap. “I dreamt about you when you were gone, you know. For some reason my brain just thought you were…kidnapped, like you were taken away from me.”
The implication stung Olivia right in the chest. Xander had trusted her so much he assumed she was forcibly taken away from him. The guilt hung heavy in her heart.
“I’ll never leave again. I promise,” Olivia swore, tears threatening to leak out again as she spoke. She leaned up and pushed her head against his to nuzzle his nose with hers. She needed that contact to prove this wasn’t a dream, that she was really forgiven, that she could stop feeling so scared and alone.
“Even if I stay with the club?” Xander asked in a soft, hesitant voice.
Olivia lifted her head to look at Xander’s face, but it was guarded, his eyes shut against judgment. “You want to?”
Xander stared down at her and moved his hand up to lightly brush against her lips. “It’s mine, you know? I have to fight for it. You know how
that goes.”
“Yeah, I know how that goes,” Olivia said, flexing her pained muscles to remind herself of her own strength.
Xander leaned in and pressed their lips together softly, slipping his tongue into her mouth so slowly it was like he was afraid she was going to break. Olivia turned the kiss harder, firmer, fisting her hand in the back of his hair to pull him closer, deeper into her body. But after a second he pulled back a little, breathing heavily onto her mouth. “Is it okay if we go…kinda slow?” he asked, avoiding her eyes.
Olivia nodded quickly and gently raked her nails over Xander’s scalp, causing him to rock back into her touch. She loved seeing him like this, completely vulnerable and bare and open. “Yeah, of course, we’re both still pretty beaten up.”
Xander nodded but bit his lip. “I could fuck you hard if you want, but I…I wanna…”
“Be soft,” Olivia supplied. She understood what Xander was asking. So much of their relationship had been framed by violence and destruction and loss. It was time for a change of pace. It was time to heal.
Xander’s hands rubbed over her thighs and calves, lightly pushing the hem of her skirt up to reveal her underwear. But he was in no rush. His fingers danced along her skin, her tiny little hairs springing up in attention. Olivia felt raw and sensitive, like she’d just shed a layer of skin and gotten closer to herself, and now she was letting Xander in to her body, her real body. She was, as always, hyper-conscious of how she looked. But instead of shifting on the bed to look as sexy as possible, spreading her legs in just the right way to entice him, she relaxed into his touch and let herself sink further onto the bed. Tonight she wasn’t going to perform at all. She wasn’t going to act like she had all the answers, that she was sexy and powerful and in control. Tonight she was showing him all her softest, most sensitive parts, and she realized with a shiver she actually trusted him to handle them.
Xander pushed her thighs apart, but instead of going in between them to get at her crotch, he focused his attention on her inner legs, the soft skin there that barely ever got touched. Xander leaned over and pressed his lips there, applying gentle open-mouth kisses to every inch of skin down to her knees. “Mmm, that tickles,” Olivia said with a laugh, spreading her knees apart wider to let him play with her more.
“Just tell me what feels good,” Xander whispered, his tongue dancing along her kneecap, causing her to seize up with the strength of the sensation that followed. “Too much?”
Olivia shook her head, already panting. “No, no, just enough. Just go slow.”
Xander licked wider and harder around her knee, bringing out his teeth to pull at her skin. Olivia hissed a little under her breath and bent her legs up, encouraging him to lick down her legs to her ankle. He then focused on her toes, tickling them lightly with his fingers before slipping them into his mouth and sucking gently.
“Mm,” Olivia groaned, spreading her legs apart as his hand danced up past her knee and landed back on her thigh. “Mm, your mouth…”
Xander pulled off her foot to drop little kisses around her ankle. “You taste sweet.”
Olivia laughed, having to hold her ribcage through the pain of movement. “My foot tastes sweet?”
But Xander was unbothered, shrugging and nodding slightly before clasping her ankle in his hand and sliding his tongue on the sensitive underside of her foot.
Olivia groaned quietly, twisting her torso back and forth as she got used to the wet tickling sensation. Meanwhile, Xander’s nails hovered over her skin, touching her foot lightly but never pressing down. God, she wanted him to push down, to dig into her. But he was teasing her, and she was trying to see how long she could go without begging for more.
Xander sucked harder on the bottom of her foot, causing her to squeal and arch up into his touch. “Jesus,” Olivia whispered. She never knew her foot was this sensitive. It almost hurt, how good it felt.
She had started sweating already, beads forming on the back of her neck and under her arms and legs. She wondered if it tasted gross on his tongue, but Xander only seemed to become more encouraged by it, licking her foot more quickly and firmly. Olivia moaned, her voice climbing higher with every stroke of his tongue. He only went harder and faster with every moan that left her mouth. His teeth came out again, pulling teasingly at her skin. “Fuck, baby,” Olivia groaned helplessly, her head rocking back and forth on the pillow. Xander sucked harder, traveling up from her foot to the bone of her ankle and then up to her calves, switching between one leg and another and keeping her off-balance. She was breathing harder and harder, reaching down to tangle her fingers in his hair again as he rose up her body.
“You taste so fucking good,” Xander whispered, licking thickly at the cleft between her thighs. He lifted his body to settle between her open legs, pausing to kiss the tops of her thighs, back and forth, back and forth, his kisses becoming more wet and open with each pass.
“Did you miss it? Touching me?” Olivia asked breathlessly without thinking. For some reason she had to know.
Xander groaned and nuzzled his head against her clothed crotch, his hand coming up to push her dress up farther. “So fucking much. I needed it so fucking much,” he whispered, scratching his way up the sides of her legs. Olivia smiled down at him, loving the raw, open look on his face as he stared back up at her. Then she wrapped her legs around his body, pushing him farther onto her crotch.
“Oh? You want to tell me something, baby?” Xander asked, nuzzling his cheek against her covered pussy.
Olivia dragged her feet over Xander’s back, pulling his shirt up with one foot. “Maaaaaybe,” Olivia said in response, rubbing his exposed skin with her foot. “I want you…to touch me.”
“Mm, do you deserve it?” Xander asked, biting gently on her thigh again, sucking hard until he left a bright red mark. “Are you a good girl?”
Olivia bit her lip. For a second she felt like she didn’t know what to do, push him off or pull him in deeper? Tease him or cut to the chase? But then Xander’s mouth opened again, sliding his wet tongue all over the edge of her underwear, and she couldn’t do anything but moan brokenly. “Please,” she groaned. “Please, baby. I need it.”
Xander raked his nails starting from her hipbones, still buried underneath her dress, down to her calves, causing her to arch up against his torso again.
“You’re gonna have to unwrap your legs if you want me to lick you,” Xander said, a teasing tone to his voice.
“Mm,” Olivia whined, pretending like she felt highly conflicted. “What to do, what to do…”
Xander laughed and kissed the top of her thigh, pulling her skin between his teeth lightly and biting down until she moaned. Her legs moved of their own accord, planting themselves deep into the mattress on either side of Xander’s shoulders. She was spread-open, her pussy feeling inflamed and sensitive even through her panties.
He stuck a thumb under the fabric of her underwear, right next to her hipbone, and slowly tugged it down, the cold air hitting her pussy. Olivia groaned and shifted around, trying to expedite the process while her panties were ever-so-slowly pulled down her legs. Olivia kicked them off her feet and onto the floor as soon as possible, re-wrapping her legs around Xander’s neck.
Xander inhaled deeply, clearing savoring the scent of her pussy. Olivia thought she could smell it even from her vantage point on the pillow: strong and sharp. Desperate. She wanted it so bad she could feel herself leaking already.
He brushed his nose against her outer labia, gently pushing his way all the way from the bottom to the top of her pussy.
“Mm, you teasing me?” Olivia asked, stroking her fingers along the backs of his ears until she could feel him shiver.
He exhaled lightly, the air from his lungs warming up her pussy even more. Olivia squirmed and moaned under her breath, shifting around to try to get his lips to touch her pussy directly again. But it was no use. Xander dodged her movements, keeping a millimeter of distance from her skin. But he kept breathing, heavi
er and heavier every second, stroking her with air. She moaned again and arched up closer, wanting to feel his wetness mingle with hers.
Xander dug his fingers harder into her thighs, breathing even more deeply. “I wanna fuck you with my tongue.” His voice was hoarse and worn, like every breath took as much effort as a howl.
“Please,” she moaned, the only word she could manage to force out. “Please, please, please,” she whimpered pathetically. She needed it. If she didn’t get it, she felt like she might fall apart.
Xander leaned in again until his lips pressed against her outer lips, gently skimming from bottom to top. Olivia moaned lightly and spread her legs farther, just in time for Xander’s tongue to slide in between. She groaned and put her own hands over her mouth, trying her keep her embarrassing noises to a minimum.
But Xander just reached up and pulled her hands down, holding them in place on either side of her hips as he licked her pussy open. Olivia moaned quietly, pushing her knees farther apart to open for him. He licked long stripes on either side of her pussy, biting down gently and causing her nerves to go wild. She felt like every sensitive cell in between her legs was lighting itself on fire, running around in joy and excitement and relief at finally, finally being touched the way she needed.
