by Kat Mizera
“Holy shit,” Sergei laughed. “You weren’t kidding. He can barely stand up and he’s practically lighting it up.”
“He’s going to be fast, like his father and uncles.”
Sergei cut his eyes to her. “You know about Vlad?”
She smiled. “Zakk and Toli are best friends; Zakk’s my big brother. There’s no way I could live in that house and not know. And yes, I understand Vlad being your half-brother isn’t public knowledge because of your father’s enemies.”
“So you know what happened in Russia.”
“When your wife died?” She nodded, moving her feet across the ice slowly, her eyes never leaving Niko.
“Her father was mafia,” he said, even though she hadn’t asked. “For whatever reason, even though we were both in the NHL, both wealthy, both healthy and successful, he wanted her to marry Toli. That was the plan. When she and I foiled it by falling in love, he was furious. That’s why she agreed to leave her career as a physician and come to the U.S., even though she didn’t want to. It was the only way to get away from whatever bullshit he had in store for us.”
“She loved you.”
“I’d like to think so.” He gazed at his son, slipping and sliding across the ice as fast as his awkward strokes would allow.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“I want to,” he said slowly. “I never have before. I mean, Toli, Dom and Zakk were there and we’ve told Vlad, but I’ve never actually talked about it to anyone else.”
“About which part?”
“The way she died.”
“You can tell me anything.” Dani slid her hand into his, matching his paces as they moved together, his gaze now focused on nothing in particular while she kept an eye on Niko.
“The details are complicated and go back to when she and Toli were teenagers—he’s five years older than I am and she was three.”
“I didn’t know she was older than you.”
“Did you know my father was KGB and is still loosely involved in whatever faction of that organization is active?”
She nodded. “Zakk has only ever talked about the basics, saying the less Tiff and I know the better, but he told us you and Toli don’t ever plan to set foot in Russia again because of it.”
“Which is why no one outside the family can ever know that Vlad is our half-brother. That would put him in danger as well.”
“I certainly would never tell anyone and Zakk only told me because I spent so much time at Toli and Tessa’s, it was hard not to put together parts of the story.”
“What it all boiled down to was her father wanting an alliance with our father to link the mob with the KGB, but for reasons we’ll probably never understand, it had to be Toli, not me. We didn’t know that, so when Tanya and I fell in love, we figured her father would have the alliance he wanted regardless, especially since at the time I wanted to stay in Russia. But he was furious, told her he would kill me to keep us apart. She was pregnant, though, and her mother was still alive, so she had some control over him. We got married and moved to the U.S. For a while, it seemed like everything would be okay.”
“Couldn’t the Russian mob or the KGB or whoever get to you in Boston almost as easily as they could in Russia?”
He nodded. “It’s a lot harder here, and if they were caught, they’d go to jail, unlike over there, where shit like that happens every day.”
“That must’ve been scary.”
“I was busy with hockey,” he said after a minute, his jaw working in irritation. “Tanya took care of everything—Niko, the house, and apparently the situation in Russia, though I didn’t know it then. She kept her father at bay, kept our home together, and took care of our son, all while being threatened and badgered.” He let out a ragged breath before he continued.
“The night she died, they’d kidnapped Anton, and Toli had gone after him. He was fully prepared to die in exchange for the safe return of his son. Tanya was pissed, and she got on the phone, trying to call in favors, do anything she could to help. I refused to let my brother go in alone, you know? I mean, he’s my big brother and he needed backup. Zakk and Dom had flown in, anxious to help, but at that point no one knew what was going on. Toli said his goodbyes to us, to our parents and to Tessa, and he went to get his son. I was hiding under a blanket on the floor of the back seat of the car—”
“I can’t even imagine how scared you all were,” she murmured, reaching out to lift Niko to his feet after he wiped out in front of them.
“I know,” he replied, unconsciously reaching for her hand again. “I don’t know what Tanya did while Toli and I were heading to the meeting point, but she showed up about fifteen minutes after we did. I was lurking outside the building, so I saw her go in but couldn’t get to her in time to stop her.” He paused, a dark shadow covering his face as he slowed to a stop, leaning against the boards of the rink. “That’s when I knew it was all about me, that her father was only going to give Anton back in exchange for me, not Toli. The old bastard knew I’d never let Toli go alone and he was right. I walked into that warehouse and announced myself, told him to take me… Tanya pulled a fucking gun out of her pocket and shot her father at the same time he shot at me. Except she stepped between us and took the bullet.”
“Oh, Sergei.” Dani squeezed his arm, moving close to his side. “I’m so sorry.”
“She killed her father and took a bullet to protect me, but I couldn’t protect her. How fucked up is that?”
“None of it was your fault, Sergei. You couldn’t help that her father was an asshole or that yours was KGB.”
“My dad sacrificed a lot to protect us boys—even Vlad, who grew up in an orphanage—and then my wife made the ultimate sacrifice to protect me. What kind of man does that make me?”
“A survivor,” she whispered, leaning up against him, forcing him to look at her. “A strong, loving man who knows life isn’t always fair. A devoted father who’s going to make sure his son has a better future. Those things make you better, Sergei, not weaker.”
“I couldn’t defend my own wife. I stood there and let her jump in front of a bullet.” The pain and shame in his eyes was so poignant it was like someone was squeezing her heart from the inside.
“Oh, Sergei.” Dani moved up against him so they were almost eye-to-eye. “You had no way of knowing what her father was going to do—you’re a hockey player, not some kind of mafia thug. She grew up with that life, and probably knew her father better than most people. There’s no shame for you in her sacrifice. She was prepared to defend you and she did. Feeling guilty about it makes a mockery out of what she did. She didn’t do that to make you suffer; she did it so you and her son would be free.”
“It sure doesn’t feel that way when—” He snaked out an arm to catch Niko as he tripped. “Easy, buddy, you need to slow down.”
“Skate with me, Daddy.” Niko’s eyes shone with excitement. “Can we go fast? Mama D can go really fast!”
She gave them a little nod of her head and Sergei only hesitated a second before gripping Niko’s hands and then turning backwards so he could pull the little boy. He paused to lean over and brush his lips across hers before moving off with his son. Dani watched them with a grin, Niko’s excited laughter echoing off the walls. Sergei’s face was relaxed now too, the dark shadows of his memories fading with the light provided by his son’s happiness.
She’d known most of that story, but not the details, not that Tatiana’s father had hated him or that she’d gone in most likely knowing she would die to save her husband. She had to have been a remarkable woman and for a moment Dani wondered how Sergei could ever get involved with anyone else after having a woman that had loved him enough to die for him. She’d never been truly in love so that concept was foreign to her. It made her a little sad, too, because she liked him a lot. There was a tiny part of her that wished they could explore something beyond sex and friendship. He was handsome, sexy, rich, athletic, gentle, loving and
brave—what else could any woman ask for?
Sighing, she pushed off, picking up speed to catch up to Sergei and Niko, who were speeding around the ice as fast as was safe. She matched Sergei’s stride, grinning as he winked at her.
“Mama D, it’s so fast!” Niko squealed.
“I know.” She laughed, losing herself in the moment and determined to enjoy what time she had with them. They weren’t her family but they were her friends and that should be enough.
17
After three hours of skating, they were all tired and Niko fell asleep the moment they put him in the car.
“That was fun,” Sergei said as he turned the car towards home. “I’m glad you talked me into doing this. And thanks for listening earlier.”
“Any time. Thank you for trusting me with something so personal.”
“I think you trusted me with something far more personal.” He reached for her hand and she let him take it.
“That was just sex. This was—”
“That wasn’t just anything. It was intimate and beautiful…something I’m honored you shared with me.”
“Have you ever been with a virgin before?”
“A long, long time ago,” he admitted. “I think I was seventeen. I’d only ever been with one girl before her, so I was terrified I’d done something wrong.”
“I wasn’t worried about that.”
“No?”
“I trusted you.”
“But I didn’t know you were a virgin,” he protested.
“I trusted you knew what you were doing in general. It was going to hurt no matter what, right?”
He grimaced. “That’s what I hear… It did, right?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“But you still want to do it again?”
“Well, yeah.” She cocked her head. “Don’t you?”
“You have no idea how much.”
“Good thing.” She nudged him playfully. “You owe me a huge do-over.”
“Oh really?” He nudged her back. “It’s not my fault you were a virgin.”
“But you had more fun than I did.”
“You had more fun than I did when I went down on you in the bathroom.”
She flushed. “So then we both owe each other do-overs.”
“Niko’s going to bed early tonight.”
* * *
After dinner, a bath, and one episode of Doc McStuffins, Dani put Niko to bed. Still tired from his day of ice skating, he fell asleep almost instantly and Dani softly shut his door behind her when she stepped out. Sergei had monitors in several rooms of the house that were always on, so they shut his door at night to keep his room quieter.
With the evening ahead promising an intimacy she’d been thinking about since last night, her entire body buzzed with nervous excitement as she padded down the hall to her room. She didn’t know if Sergei would come to her or if he expected her to go to him, but their routine at night varied. Sometimes they’d watch a movie or talk; other times she’d go to her room to read and she wasn’t sure what he did. Most nights they were together, though, even if she was on her laptop and he turned on a baseball game.
Slipping into her bathroom, she brushed her teeth and brushed out her hair. It had gotten long in the last year, nearly to her waist now, and she’d debated cutting it. Not too short, but maybe six inches or so, where it would still be long enough for a ponytail or braid when she played hockey but not so much to take care of. Not that she did much with it lately anyway, between taking care of Niko and working out. She fluffed it out a little, letting it cascade down around her shoulders and chest. It looked nice that way. She wished she thought about doing more with it, but it never seemed like a priority. Why had her looks never been a priority?
Sergei likes your looks. The thought made her smile and she stepped out of the bathroom feeling better. She paused in the hallway when she heard his footsteps on the stairs and he came into sight. His eyes raked over her in a way that made her insides flutter with sheer desire and she took a shaky step towards him.
“Hi,” she whispered, unable to find her voice amidst the nervousness coursing through her.
“Hi.” He smiled down at her, rubbing the knuckles of one hand lightly across her cheek. “Your hair looks pretty like that.”
“Thank you.”
“Can I take you to bed, Maryanne?” His eyes were twinkling, teasing her, and she cocked her head.
“Is using my middle name code for being horny?”
“Maybe?”
“Okay, Wayne.” She slid her arms around his neck. “Take me to bed.”
He backed her into his room and his mouth was on hers the moment the bedroom door closed behind them. His tongue slowly teased the seam of her lips until she parted for him and then she was lost. She’d kissed a few guys in college, but nothing compared to Sergei. His touch was simply magical and the connection between them was impossibly potent. She’d had girlfriends who’d told her about having intense chemistry with a man, but hearing about it from others was nothing like experiencing it personally. His touch brought her alive, as if she was someone special—even if she wasn’t necessarily special to him.
When his hands cupped both sides of her face, pulling her closer and holding her head, it was like being devoured. She couldn’t move but she didn’t want to; she just wanted more of everything Sergei.
“I want to touch you this time,” she breathed against his mouth. She forced her eyes up, to focus on his, instead of on the slant of the hip bones poking up from his waistband; if his abs were any more chiseled she could bounce a quarter off them.
“Take my shorts off,” he commanded gently.
She ran her hands along his strong, hard stomach. The thick but light-colored hair on his chest was beautiful, accenting his pecs and solid shoulders. She dug her fingers into them before pressing her chest against him. The heat of his skin moved through her like lightning and the ache between her legs made her squirm with need.
“Sergei, I want—”
“I know what you want,” he whispered, moving her hand to his shorts. “And I’m going to make you come so hard, you’re not going to remember your name. But first, you’re going to undress me.”
“But—”
“Shh.” He put a finger on her lips and brought her hands to the elastic of his shorts, guiding her in sliding them down. He was naked underneath and she gazed at his erection in fascination. His cock was bigger than she’d imagined, long and incredibly hard. Tiny drops of pre-cum leaked from the head and she instinctively reached out to touch it.
“I didn’t realize it was so…big,” she murmured, unable to stop her smirk.
“I haven’t had any complaints.”
“I honestly don’t know what to do with it.”
“Rub your thumb over the tip.”
She did as he instructed; it was both soft and hard. The skin was velvety, and she wondered why she’d always thought it would be rough. When she hesitated again, his hand closed around hers and guided her, showing her how to touch him.
“Touch me, baby. It’s all good.” He was breathing hard and his eyes closed as she continued to stroke him. “Yeah, that’s it.”
Her inexperience made her feel ridiculous, but his gentle coaching and words of encouragement emboldened her. When she started to move her hand faster, he groaned, making her even braver. She picked up the pace, the way he’d shown her, and figured she was doing okay since he gripped her hair and let out a hiss.
“Enough,” he whispered. “I’m not ready to get off yet, and you’re driving me wild. The first orgasm always goes to my woman.”
My woman.
The words hit her square in the gut and she dropped to her knees more from the impact of what he’d said than any plan to seduce him, but as soon as she did, his hands were in her hair.
“Not yet, honey.”
“I want to,” she whispered, slowly licking her lips. “I need…to touch you. The way you touched me.”
“Not on your knees. Come to the bed.”
“Why?” She cocked her head.
He hesitated. “Do you like being on your knees for me?”
“My friend Sara once told me she loved being on her knees when she gave a blow job because the whole experience empowered her. Something about the strength in a human being’s jaws and the vulnerability and trust the man gives her by letting her take control like that. I know a lot of girls think it’s demeaning but… The way Sara talks about it, when you really enjoy being with that person, sounds really hot.”
“I can’t speak to what a woman feels in that position,” he said softly, lifting her chin with his finger. “But if you want to do it this way, I’d love it. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I don’t.” She leaned over, pressing a chaste kiss right on the tip. “I want to taste you like you tasted me the other night.” She tentatively nibbled on the head. “Except all I know about doing it is what Sara showed me with a banana.”
He snorted with laughter. “That’s actually pretty close. How about you pretend this is a banana and I’ll let you know if you need to adjust a little.”
She grinned. “Okay. Promise you won’t laugh?”
“Laugh?” His eyes glittered as he shook his head. “Not in a million years. The idea you’ve never done this before makes me want to go all caveman and beat my chest and shit.”
She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, gripping his length with one hand and using the other to guide him into her. It was more pleasant than she’d imagined and as she closed her lips around him, she lifted her eyes to search out his. He was staring at her with a look she’d never seen before: adoration and lust, tempered with…respect? Did he respect her for sucking him off? She was so confused she momentarily forgot what she was doing.
