by J. M. Lyons
mom this is Jon. Jon this is my mom Louise, people call her Lu." I
said, turning my attention to a very flustered Jon. I knew that he
hated to be put on the spot; but for a moment there I felt a funny
feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I couldn't explain.
"Alright folks dinner is served." Lily said, suddenly stepping
into the dining room. "Great, I'm starving." I said, as I hurried over
to the table. "You're always starving." Tucker said, ducking as I
swung my arm to hit him. We all sat at the table, quite at first.
Mom didn't stop looking at me and Jon. Finally Lily got up. "I'd like
to give a toast to the graduate this evening, on a job well done and
finally no more school. Well, yet at least." She said with a chuckle,
hold her glass of juice in the air. "Here, here." Everyone replied,
hold their own glasses.
"This was great Lily, thanks; and thank you Mr. Dawson for
inviting me the food was delicious." Jon said, slowly wiping the
corners of his lips. "Yeah, Lily this was great." I followed. "I'm so
stuffed I don't think I can eat another bite." Mom said, pushing her
chair as she leaned back from the table. "Hey now, we're not done
just yet we still got some dessert left." Lily said, as she got up and began to clear the table. Everyone stood up and headed to the
living room again. Jon and I helped Lily clear the table. "No, no;
you guys go ahead and hang out, I got this." Lily insisted. "Nope I
think I'd rather help you." I said, looking over at Jon who just
smiled and continued to clear the table.
"Isn't this nice Mia, to have Jon here and your mom? This
must be some night for you huh?" Lily said so gently. "Yeah I
guess." I murmured. "I am glad that Jon's here though." I said as I
looked at the corner of the kitchen to see if he was coming. "But
really; my mom. Lily I don't even know her or James for that
matter." I said, as I helped her cut the cake. "Ah, don't let it bother
you too much. It's ok; at least she's here now; right." She said,
placing each piece of cake onto a plate. "Jon can you take this out
please." She said as she passed Jon plates of desserts. "Sure, no
problem." He said with a smile, accepting his new duty as a
server. Lily followed shortly after; I stood there for a bit, trying to
swallow my pride and my need to just rip into my mother. Jon
hurried back around the corner before I could move.
"Are you alright?" Jon said, now standing right beside me.
"Yeah, I guess. It's just kind of weird you know." I said fidgeting
with my plate. We both headed back into the living room; where everyone was in full conversations about mom's travels and her
job with James. At first it was just annoying; I never joined in any
of the conversation. Jon put his hand on my shoulder softly
pressing his fingers together. I was almost sure that he knew what
I was thinking because of how quiet I was. I know he did; but
finally I had enough pretending.
"So, mom what really brings you back to Hillside?" I said,
staring at her with the same burrowing stare that she gave to me
earlier. "Um, well I just wanted to see you; to see you both." She
said, trying to sound like she wasn't taken back at the question;
even if I knew that she was, just by the look on her face. "So after
all these years you appear out of nowhere and expect me to what;
to accept you with open arms?" I demanded, as I rolled my eyes. I
could feel the blood boiling again.
"Well..." She began, but I quickly cut her off. "You left me, you
left Tucker and you left dad. You never even sent me a postcard
to tell me where you were. Do you know that I've spent countless
days wondering what in the hell I did to make you leave. Do you
know how hard it was for me being the only girl in this house? Did
you think about that? Did you know that when grandma died I
died? Did you think of what you're leaving did to any of us?" I said starting to feel the tears building in my eyes. This time I didn't care
if they fell; I didn't even care if my makeup ran down my face.
Jon quickly took hold of my hand and pulled it back toward
him; I think trying to calm me, but it was too late. "You know I'm
glad dads with Lily now; she's a hundred times a better mom than
you would have ever been." I said, with a sharp quiver in my
voice; hoping that it was sharp enough to actually cut her. "Mia."
Lily said, as she stood up next to me. "Mia, that's enough." She
continued. "Mia really." Tucker said, glaring at me. Dad didn't say
a single word; I think he wanted to hear what she would say too.
"Mia, I'm sorry that you suffered so much. I was just hoping
that we could start a new relationship, but I guess I was wrong."
She said, as tears were beginning to form in her own eyes. "Yeah
mother, I guess you were wrong." I snapped back. "Come on
James, I think I may have overstayed my welcome." She said
standing up. "I'd like to thank you for the wonderful dinner and
gracious hospitality Lily and of course you too David." She said, as
she turned for the door, hiding her falling tears.
"It was my pleasure Louise, thank you for coming." Lily replied
sadly. "Yeah, that was great." Dad said, as he walked them to the
door. "Tucker I'm sorry if I hurt you too, and Mia I hope one day you'll forgive me." She said, letting me see her tears fall from her
eyes. "One day mother, maybe you'll understand why I feel the
way I do." I snapped, as I quickly turned and burrowed my head
into Jon’ shoulders letting my tears fall freely.
"Mia, you had to go there, didn't you." Tucker said, with a
whole lot of attitude; as he headed for the front door. "Remember
she left you too Tucker, and she didn't even show up for your
graduation, but yet she's here for mine." I snapped, as the tears
streamed down my face. "Well at least she was here, to me that is
all that should matter." He said, slamming the screen door behind
him. I wiped the tears away from my eyes as Jon softly stroked my
hair. "It's alright Mia. You feel better now; you sure got a lot of
things off your chest." He said softly. "I don't know; I feel so
confused and so angry right now, I can't even explain it." I replied
looking at him, as the tears kept on falling.
"Mia. We'll talk tomorrow, but for now I think you should go
clear your head." Dad said, not in an angry way, but more of an
understanding tone of voice. I heard the sound of Tucker's truck
starting, then it pealed out of the driveway. "I don't think that I'll be
going to Jim's party tonight. Tucker just left, and I know that you
need to be there so maybe you should head out too before it gets too late." I said, slowly backing away from Jon.
"Tell you what, why don't you go get a jacket and we can go
together, I'll even bring you home after." Jon said, with his soft
smile. "Is that ok, Mr. Dawson." Jon said, looking over at dad for
his permission. "Yeah, I think she needs to get away for a bit." He
replied, as he started to help Lily collect the plates that laid around
the living room. "Mia, try to have fun with your friends, it'll
help you
feel better." Lily said, as she took the plates into the kitchen. I
quickly went over to the hooks beside the staircase and got my jacket. Then Jon and I headed out the door.
2 THE PARTY
"Thanks for being here tonight, and I'm so sorry that it turned into something so ugly." I said, continuing to wipe tears away from my cheeks; as Jon drove down the road in his mom's new truck. "I loved seeing you again, the happy you, and the angry you too." He said, caressing my hair as it blew around the truck due to the wind. I kept my eyes facing out the window, staring at the woods as we passed trees and shrubs that surrounded the entire town. I didn't want him to see me cry.
"Listen I know that you're angry with your mom but there will
come a time when you'll have to let that all go. I think that's what
Tucker was trying to say too." He said, as he drove down the dark
road. "I'm not trying to say that I would have handled it any better;
but I think you did need to say some of the things that you said. I
don't think that you were wrong for say any of it. I did think that
there could have been a better place and time for it, though." He
said softly. "I guess, you could be right; but I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't just sit there and not say anything; I mean
when do I ever pretend to feel something I'm not." I said, as I
closed my eyes and let the cold wind hit my face, drying whatever
tears I had left.
We got to the party a little after eight thirty, and it was already
in full swing. We passed Tuckers truck that was parked just before
the gravel road. I got out of Jon's truck, took a deep breath and
stretched a little to let in the cold night air. We headed up the
walkway that was covered in gravel; it was littered with beer
bottles and plastic cups. "Looks like we're just in time." Jon
teased, as we reached the top of the stairs.
He held open the front door as I slowly walked into the house,
wiping my face to make sure that there were no more tears. The
living room was filled to the rim with people dancing, drinking, and
yelling at each other; most likely because they probably couldn't
even hear themselves talk. The ceiling was filled with balloons and
streamers swirling around the ceiling fan that rotated slowly. I
couldn't believe that guys set this up; the streamers were kind of
pretty too. I saw Tucker talking to Kris next to the fire place.
He dated Kris for a little while in high school, but for reasons
beyond me they didn't last. Although, I thought they had a chance. She was very athletic just as he was; but they never really
clicked I guess. I did think that she wasn't all that pretty though.
She had shoulder length black hair, that she always wore pulled
back into a tight ponytail, and she was brown skinned like us. She
had dark brown eyes, and very puffy lips. She always dressed like
she was going out for a run in her tight running pants and
oversized sweaters.
He just pretended that he didn't even see me, and I was fine
with that. We reached the hall leading into the kitchen and just
then, out of the bathroom stumbled Nadia. "Mia, you finally made
it." She said, with every word slurring out of her mouth; she
reeked of liquor. "Nadia, are you ok?" I asked trying my best to
hold her up, but she was already far gone. "Me; I'm fine." She
answered still slurring her every word.
"Can you help me get her to the kitchen; I think she could use
some water?" I asked Jon as he put one of her arms over his
shoulder. "Move it guys we're coming through." He said, as we
pushed past the people crowding the hall. Even the hall was filled
with balloons and streamers. Although the house was filled to the
max, I couldn't get over that it some good decorations, well for
guys at least. When we got into the kitchen there were Steve and Jim
standing around the huge keg of beer. The kitchen was huge. It
was very big, very modern and very open. There was a huge
island in the middle of the room with a counter top stove and small
sink. By the looks of it, I' m not sure if Jim's parent even cooks
here. "Can you make me a cup of water?" I asked as Jon pulled a
chair out. We put Naida down but she refused to drink the water.
"No; I don't want that, I want; I want. I want to lie down. I don't feel
very good Mia. I think the room is moving around and around and
around." She said, nearly toppling off the chair.
"Jim, is there a room I can put her in?" I asked, motioning
toward Jon to help me lift her. "Don't worry; we got this Mia."
Steve said, putting down his cup. "Here watch." He said, as he
picked her up and propped her over his shoulder and headed
down the hall into the family room, where luckily no one was in it.
I could tell Jim's mom designed this room. It was very
vintage, just as she was; everything in the room was brown from
the old furniture, to the old end tables; but they were all in perfect
condition. The old book shelf held many, many old books, with
shredded corners and water damaged cover's. Steve plopped her
down on the brown plush couch, and threw a pillow off the double seater at her. "Here use this." He said, laughing very hard. He
walked toward the open door still laughing with every step that he
took.
"Somebody's drunk and she couldn't handle her shit." He
teased shutting the door behind him. "Mia is that you?" She said,
reaching out her hand. I grabbed her arm before it hit the ground.
"Yes Nadia it's me. You need to rest, your drunk out of your mind
right now." I said positioning her head on the small pillow. "Your so
pretty Mia, so much prettier that I am." She said, as she tangled
her fingers in my hair.
"Nadia you need to rest; we can talk about it the morning." I
said; as I sat on the floor trying to untangle her fingers, that she
twisted into the strands of my hair. The door suddenly opened,
and Jon quietly stepped in. "Ha ha ha, she's pretty wasted huh?"
He laughed, as he shut the door behind him. "Yeah, she is." I
replied, just as I finally got my hair out of her fingers. I put my
jacket over her legs, in hopes that it would keep her warm.
"Is she asleep?" He asked standing near the window. "Um,
yeah at least I think she is." I said, with a slight chuckle. "Well then
come on let's go for a walk; Steve lit the fire in back yard." He said
pointing out the window. "Um; sure alright." I said, as I got off the floor and followed Jon's lead. The crowded hall was bustling with
people going in and out of the kitchen; the smell of sweat and
alcohol were very prominent. I cringed my nose at the smell. We
went out the back door where there was less traffic.
It was a clear night; so many stars filled the dark sky. The
crescent moon was dim, but it didn't matter much; Steve lit a
massive fire and by the looks of things there was a whole lot more
wood that needed to be burnt. The chill of the night air felt nice as
I left the over crowded house. The porch creaked as I stepped
over the floorboards, then down the stairs. We walked across the
gravel road that surrounded Jim's entire house toward the fire.<
br />
The warmth of the fire made me forget that I didn't have a
jacket. Jon picked up two huge logs, turning them up right to
make stools to sit on. I sat down quickly, rubbing my hands
together to absorb more warmth from the fire, as the chill chipped
at my fingers. "Cold?" He asked, as he put his jacket over my
almost bare shoulders. "Yeah, kind of." I replied softly, staring at
the ground.
I couldn't help but think of everything that happened
today. All the feelings I felt for my mom. All the nerves that was
stirring in my stomach right now, with Jon so close to me. Jon and I used to come here a lot to hang out with Jim. But, I guess I
never took the time to really appreciate how lovely this place
actually was. It really was lovely.
The house was surrounded by tall old trees, and brush. You
would be afraid if you've never been here before; it had a very
spooky feel to it. It was kind of like being in a scary movie scene.
But I guess I could say that about all the homes in this area. Their
property ended at the lake; the lake was filled from the waterfall's
just up the way from his house; not to mention the lake, was just
yards away from their back porch.
The glare of the moon shone dimly off the lakes ripples. A
slight but cold breeze blew down from the mountains. A few
people stood around the fire for a bit; but they all disappeared
back into the house, I thought; soon it Jon and I were all that was
left sitting there, quiet and alone. He didn't say a single word. He
just sat there, pushing the gravel around with his feet, waiting for
me to talk I guess.
The light of the fire caught his eyes just right, making it glow,
it also made his lips look even fuller. He was perfect. Soon my
mind was no longer on my mom but, instead on this beautiful
person sitting next to me. "So, thanks again for the flowers. I really liked them." I said softly, trying to settle my nerves. "I knew
you would." He replied quickly.
I stood up and slowly walked over towards the lake, where
the wind blew a little more, lifting my hair up and swirling it around.
I stared at the moon's reflection a little before I turned my gaze
upward toward the sky. I felt this weird feeling pumping in my body
