by Anna Adams
“My name is Beth.” She blinked. “I’m praying you’re as good as you believe, and that I’ll be able to make myself let you take care of Eli without interfering. My son’s life depends on you.”
“And on you, and on all his friends. Does he have a pet?”
“A dog, Lucy. He loves her,” Beth said. “More than anything.”
“Maybe you could bring her to the parking lot and let him look out the window at her.”
“Just say when.” Maybe it would be all right. Maria’s confidence rubbed off.
“Try not to worry, Beth. Think of me as being the next doctor in the line. If I don’t work out, you can keep on shopping.”
The door to the hall popped open again and again, Beth saw Aidan. He was staring at the short-skirted doctor at her side.
“Maria.”
“I thought I’d see you in a hospital at some point, Aidan.” She looked at Beth. “Friend of yours?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BETH FELT as if she were being sucked down a drain. She pitched her voice low. “You didn’t try to help his wife?”
“I worked for his company after she died.”
Beth searched Aidan’s face for the kind of horror she’d feel if—something—happened to Eli in this woman’s care. There was none. Just surprise.
The door closed on him again.
“How did you get here?” Beth asked Maria.
“He fired me. I didn’t fit in with the pinstripe and PDA crowd.”
Beth tried to speak.
“You’re rethinking.” Maria nodded. “And that’s fine, but I’m perfect for a skateboarding teen. I suggest people don’t take themselves so seriously. Imagine how that erodes an executive’s ego.”
“How do you know Eli skateboards?”
“Your son almost died tonight. When Brent called to ask me if I’d see him I found out everything I could. Brent faxed me his notes, and I made a few calls.”
“Okay.” She started to add that they’d give it a try, but Eli moved on his bed. His mouth formed the word Mom.
The door thudded beneath her hands. She skidded to his side. He opened his eyes and looked around the room, exposing the bruises at his throat.
“Eli—” Her voice gave out. Her son stared at her, his face pure yearning.
“I’m sorry.” His tone rasped.
Sorry? Startling herself, she got angry—because she saw a chance for him to be okay, and the thought of life without him made her furious. “It’s okay.” She put her hand on the top of his head and held on to his hair, afraid to touch anywhere else. His arms weakly held her, and she kissed his forehead. “We’ll figure it out.”
“You’re awake, Eli. I’m glad.”
Beth turned. “Aidan?”
He came to the bed and put one arm around her waist. His smile for Eli was pure relief. Eli beamed back, holding his throat because it must hurt.
“I told Maria you both mattered to me,” Aidan said. “She got me in.”
ELI HAD FALLEN ASLEEP again. Only his breathing made any sound in the room. Aidan glanced at Beth. They’d shared over an hour watching her son’s chest rise and fall.
He couldn’t forget one of his first thoughts on seeing Eli had been “Not again.” His guilt over his ex-wife’s death had brought on a heart attack. He couldn’t be sure he’d recovered enough to take on a real family, based on love, rather than their need of his help. He didn’t trust himself to know the difference.
As he reached the glass door, he saw Van in the hall. Beth’s brother waited, clearly troubled to see him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
The door behind them opened again. “Van,” Beth said, “Aidan saved Eli’s life, and he’s my friend.”
“Your friend?” Questions passed between brother and sister, but Aidan, used to reading nuance, didn’t understand. His senses seemed to be deserting him.
“You should thank him,” Beth said.
“I came back to see Eli.” He glanced at Aidan again. “And maybe I should stay.”
“Stay as long as you want. Eli could use your company. He told me he heard me talking to Campbell just before he…” She couldn’t put Eli’s suicide attempt into words. Van hugged her tight. “He heard Campbell making the usual excuses, and they weren’t believable. He saw the truth.”
“I’ll get that coffee,” Aidan said. “Would you like a cup, Van?”
“You don’t have to wait on us.”
“I’m going anyway.” These two. You couldn’t do them the smallest favor.
“Thanks, then.” Van stuck out his hand. “And thanks for saving my nephew.”
Aidan shook his hand. No man could react normally after his nephew had tried to kill himself.
“What have you been doing to that guy?” Van asked Beth as Aidan headed for the break room the nurses had shown them.
He wanted to look back. Beth’s whispered response was inaudible, but annoyed. He’d give a lot to know what she’d said.
AFTER A TAP AT THE DOOR, Campbell swung into the room, natty in gabardine khakis and a linen shirt. He’d gone to seed. An affection for fast food had given him both bad skin and a bit of a belly, and Beth couldn’t help rejoicing in both because his appearance and his fun had always mattered more than Eli.
She walked to the window. They’d moved Eli to a regular room after Maria suggested he felt like an insect.
“Dad.” Eli’s happiness almost made Campbell’s visit bearable. Reflected in the glass, he opened his arms wide. His father went in for a minihug and then straightened.
“I can’t believe you’re in here, son. What happened?”
“What do you mean?” Their child, eleven going on a hundred, seemed to expect something different than Campbell’s usual used-car-salesman patter. “It was—after I heard you talking to Mom.”
“You did all this over a skateboard?” His dad strolled to the end of the bed. “Beth, why didn’t you just give him the skateboard?”
Beth turned on him, ready to attack. “Maybe you think you’re joking. You may even think Eli can be teased out of his ‘funk,’ but this is different, Campbell.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Stop, Campbell. We don’t need to argue about this right now. What you have to do is be a father to our son. Either be an adult and buckle down or get out of here.”
“Mom?”
“Don’t worry, Eli. I’m not telling him to leave. I want him to stay. I just don’t want him to hurt you and pretend you don’t need help.”
“Nice, in front of the boy.”
“He has to know someone puts him first,” she said.
“Dad, please stop.”
“Son, it’s no big deal. I’m sure everyone misunderstood what you did. Tell them. You just want a skateboard. They’ll let you out of here.”
As straws went, it weighed about a hundred tons. Beth turned and walked toward him, deliberately keeping her face averted from Eli.
“You need to leave, Campbell, and you are not to see my son until I think you’re fit to.”
“Eah?”
“I don’t know what that sound means, but you’d better go.”
“I should have visited sooner, but I don’t know what to say to sick people, and he looks fine to me. I believe things got out of hand. Let’s call it even. I’m a father who waits too long to do the right thing, and Eli really wanted that toy.”
“You’re a father who wouldn’t know the right thing if it ran you down, and Eli isn’t capable of pretending to be ill. You don’t even know him. Now leave this room, and don’t go near my brother’s house or mine when it’s rebuilt. I’ll call you when I think Eli’s well enough to deal with your deliberate obtuseness.”
“Does that mean when he pretends he doesn’t understand?” Eli asked.
“Exactly.”
“Son—” Campbell gaped at them. “Do you really want me to leave? You want to see me, don’t you?”
“No,” Eli said.
“Go away.”
“I can’t—” Then to Beth “—You’ll be sorry.”
“I don’t see how.” The sheer relief of knowing he couldn’t make Eli worse was worth the fight.
Campbell barely swung back out of the room with tattered style before a nurse came in. “Mr. Nikolas is here,” she said. She patted Eli’s pillow. “You want to see him?”
“Yeah,” Eli said.
“Can you give us a second?” Beth ignored how her pulse began to stutter at the mention of Aidan’s name.
“Let me know when you’re ready,” the nurse said, glossing over the room’s tension.
After she shut the door, Beth sat on Eli’s bed. “Are you okay?”
“Why doesn’t Dad love me?”
“He does. He’s just a huge kid who loves himself most.” She threaded her fingers together and squeezed so hard it hurt. “I don’t know a lot about him anymore, but I won’t let him come near you again until he changes. If he’s able.”
“You pretended he was a good guy except for that time you made the cops arrest him.”
“I didn’t want to make you think you couldn’t trust your father when you didn’t trust me.”
“I get that, but don’t do it again.” He hugged her. His small arms felt so good. “I always trusted you, Mom, but Dad ignores me when I’m mad at him, and you at least try to talk to me.”
“So all your irritation has been affection, huh?”
“Yeah. Cut out the crying, though.”
“The nurse said I could interrupt.” Aidan came in holding out his phone for Eli, raking Beth with concern.
She shook her head, managing a watery smile. He turned back to her son.
“I brought pictures. This morning Lucy wandered down to the house so I took her for a run.” He leaned down to show Eli, and Beth wanted to curl up between them.
“Thanks, Aidan.” Eli started flipping through the photos, his face happy.
Why couldn’t his own father have done something so small and yet so kind?
A FEW DAYS LATER, Beth and Maria shared tasty coffee in Maria’s office.
“Beth, I think the camp would do Eli a lot of good. He’ll learn about camping and hiking and climbing. He’ll be with other children who share many of his feelings. He won’t be the odd man out.”
“Is it my fault? Is that why you want to send him away? Dr. Drayton said as much, because I hover and, apparently, I’m not manly enough to be a dad for Eli, too.”
“Dr. Drayton can have funny ideas.” She plucked a Kleenex from a box on her serviceable cherry laminate desk. Unlike Dr. Lester, she hadn’t built a cozy nest. Unlike Dr. Drayton, she didn’t need a men’s club. “Only his assumptions aren’t that funny if you’re the butt of them. Ignore it. You know you’re doing your best with Eli. You can’t take his father’s place because he has a father.”
“I married Campbell when I was too young to really know him, and then we went to Florida with his grandparents for almost a year. I had to depend on him.” Beth blew her nose and cursed her own weakness. Was she equally blind when she looked at Aidan? “Maybe I convinced myself he was decent, but the older Eli gets, the less he can depend on Campbell.”
“Are you angry with your ex-husband, or with yourself?”
“Do I have to choose?”
“I’m not excusing him, but he might be afraid. Maybe he’s been hiding behind fear since you were children. It can freeze some people.”
“He doesn’t get off that easy. Do you think he’s as scared as Eli was when he climbed that tree?” She shuddered at the too-vivid image.
Maria pushed a pencil across her glass blotter. “Eli is finally facing the truth about him. That’s what matters to us. Your brother came home for a couple of days, and I notice Aidan visits every day. Eli has other grown males in his life.”
“Yeah.” Beth was careful. Not even Aidan could guess how relieved she was each time he walked into the room. He’d stayed another day and another, but the days would eventually run out.
“You don’t want to talk about Aidan?”
“You’re not my doctor.” She evaded Maria’s glance. The woman was too damn smart. “We should discuss Eli’s trip. Visiting hours start soon, and I have to find the money to pay for his treatment.” She didn’t care if her spreadsheets and careful budget spontaneously combusted. If she had to, she’d ask Van for help.
“WHY CAN’T I stay here?” Eli almost hated his mom for trying to send him away. Maria was pretty and nice and he liked her a lot. He liked the way she saw stuff.
“Maria suggested the camp, Eli. She says it’ll be a good step for you.”
What the hell? “I’m not scared of those kids at school.”
“The camp has teachers for you. They’ll get a copy of your transcript from school and notes from all your other teachers about your progress. You can finish the year up, and next fall, you’ll be back with your old friends.”
Like a little bit of heaven. He took refuge in their usual problems. “Can we afford this place? Camping costs money, and I don’t have equipment.”
His mother’s mouth trembled. Her lie look. She thought she was the best at keeping stuff from him, but he always knew. “I’ll find the money even if I have to ask Uncle Van for a loan. Insurance helps,” she said.
Insurance. Hell. She thought he was stupid.
In his mind, he saw himself throwing the huge cup of water at the window. That scared him—it was how he’d ended up hanging from that tree. He’d imagined the quiet and the darkness of being— “You couldn’t find a cheaper way to get rid of me?”
His mother’s mouth dropped. He’d never seen anyone actually do that.
“You’re mad at me,” she said, as if he’d invented something as cool as a brand-new skateboard. “Ever since you saw me that first night, you’ve acted scared and sad, and you keep apologizing, but you’re mad at me again.”
“Wouldn’t you be? You think I’m going to hurt myself again, but I won’t.” He’d told Maria the truth. A second too late, he’d known he didn’t want to die.
He couldn’t say that to his mom yet.
She ran her hand down the sheet, like she used to pat his arm or his shoulder. “If I could, I’d come with you. I’d carry you up the mountains. I’d climb with you on my back.”
“I know that.” He almost laughed, but she wanted to send him away. She didn’t get to know he could laugh again. He looked out the window. All the trees were green. And they blocked most of the sky.
“You know I’d never ‘get rid’ of you?”
“You keep trying to get rid of my friends. Where’s Aidan?”
Her face turned bright red. “He’s better, too. You know he’s going home soon.”
“I’m not the one who’s falling for him.” Half joking, he was surprised when she turned even redder. “You really do like him,” he said.
“Don’t you?”
“Not like that.” He grabbed the blanket on his bed. Not content to run his friends out of town, she had to horn in and try to take them.
A knock at the door, and Aidan came in. “I brought you a visitor, Eli.”
Trying to hide how mad he was, Eli looked past him. “Who?” Probably some jerk from school.
Aidan had eyes only for Eli’s mom.
He’d never looked at Eli as if he expected him to jump off the nearest bridge, but he wasn’t supposed to look at his mom, either.
“We have to go downstairs. I stopped in to ask Maria, and she said I could take you down.”
Eli bolted out of bed. “You are my friend,” he said, looking for his flip-flops. “You brought Lucy.”
“You did what?” his mom asked. Her voice stopped him halfway into his shoes. She wasn’t breathing and her eyes—she looked at Aidan the way women in movies looked at the guy in charge.
“I told Mrs. Carleton I was taking her,” he said.
“Thank you.” His mother put her hand on Aidan’s shoulder, and “thank you” sounded like s
omething Eli wasn’t supposed to hear.
Aidan covered her hand. No one had ever stared at her like that. Eli turned away and then remembered he’d been putting on his shoes.
“Let’s go,” Aidan said. “An orderly’s holding her for me, and he probably has other work to do.”
Eli ignored them, running ahead to the elevator. They barely made it before the doors slid shut. He would have gone downstairs without them.
“What’s going on?” Aidan asked. “Did I interrupt something?”
Yeah. His whole life. Not that he wanted his mom and dad back together any more. “No,” he said, and his mother said it at almost the same time.
When the elevator opened, he ran for the doors. Lucy must have smelled him coming. She started jumping and the orderly backed as far away as her leash would let him.
“She doesn’t hurt anyone.” He tore around the doors and grabbed her with a quick thanks. Laughing, Eli buried his face in his dog’s black coat. But this time, when darkness covered him, he snapped his head up, breathing hard.
The dark scared him now.
AIDAN CAUGHT Beth’s arm as Eli bolted across the driveway to a park the hospital had built for its ambulatory patients. Lucy galloped at his side.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Me, his idiot father and he doesn’t want to go to camp.”
“There’s more.” She didn’t elaborate. He went on. “I’m being pushy again, but I looked up the camp online and I found some photos other kids took there. Do you think he’d like to see them?”
“I shouldn’t even let you talk to him. When are you leaving, Aidan?”
“Will you listen to me? I won’t let him down. As long as he needs me, he can count on me.”
“Why?”
“How can you ask? I helped him start breathing again. I watched him suffer for his dog as if he were her dad and she was his baby. I see him in pain, and I have to help. And he’s your son, Beth. How could I not care enough to be his friend?”
She eyed him too carefully, then took a deep breath. “I owe you everything so I’m trying to believe, but we’re people you met on a trip away from home. How long until some broken-winged company takes our place on your to-do list?”
