Innovation: The first suntan lotion was invented in the 1940s by Dr. Benjamin Green, a physician who’d helped develop a petroleum-based sunblock for the military to protect soldiers from the sun. After the war, Green became convinced civilians would buy a milder version of his product—one that protected them from the sun while letting them tan. He called his lotion Coppertone, because it produced a copper-colored tan on the people who used it.
RUNNING SHOES WITH “WAFFLE” SOLES
Background: In the late 1950s, Phil Knight was a track star at the University of Oregon. His coach, Bill Bowerman, was obsessed with designing lightweight shoes for his runners. “He figured carrying one extra ounce for a mile,” Knight recalls, “was equivalent to carrying an extra thousand pounds in the last 50 yards.”
When Knight began his graduate work at the Stanford Business School, he wrote a research paper arguing that lightweight running shoes could be manufactured cheaply in Japan and sold at a low price in the United States. Then he actually went to Japan and signed a distribution deal with a Japanese shoe company called Tiger. He and Bowerman each invested $500 to buy merchandise, and the Blue Ribbon Sports Company (later Nike) was founded.
Innovation: Bowerman developed Nike shoes to meet runners’ needs. Swoosh: The Story of Nike describes the origin of the celebrated “waffle” shoe: “It occurred to Bowerman to make spikes out of rubber....One morning while his wife was at church, Bowerman sat at the kitchen table staring at an open waffle iron he had seen hundreds of times. But now, for some reason, what he saw in the familiar pattern was square spikes. Square spikes could give traction to cross-country runners sliding down wet, muddy hills.
The phrase “It’s Greek to me” first appeared in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.
“Excited, Bowerman took out a mixture of liquid urethane... poured it into about every other hole of the waffle iron in...just the right pattern, and closed the lid to let it cook. Legend had it that he opened the waffle iron and there was the waffle sole that became Nike’s first signature shoe. But what really happened that morning is that when he went to open the smelly mess, the waffle iron was bonded shut....[He] switched to a plaster mold after that.”
THERMOS JUGS
Background: In the 1890s, British physicist Sir James Dewar invented a glass, vacuum-walled flask that kept liquids hot longer than any other container in existence. Dewar never patented his invention, however; he considered it his gift to the scientific world.
Innovation: Reinhold Burger, a German glassblower whose company manufactured the flasks, saw their potential as a consumer product. Dewar’s creations were too fragile for home use, so Burger built a sturdier version, with a shock-resistent metal exterior. He patented his design in 1903 and held a contest to find a name for the product. The contest was more of a publicity stunt than anything else, but Burger liked one entry so much that he used it: “Thermos,” after the Greek word for heat.
S.O.S. SOAP PADS
Background: In 1917 Edwin W. Cox was peddling aluminum cook-ware door to door in San Francisco. He wasn’t making many sales, though; aluminum cookware was a new invention, and few housewives would even look at it.
Innovation: In desperation, Cox began offering a free gift to any housewife who’d listen to his presentation—a steel-wool soap pad he made in his own kitchen by repeatedly soaking plain steel-wool pads in soapy water. (His wife used them in their own kitchen and loved them; she called them “S.O.S.” pads, meaning Save Our Saucepans.) The gimmick worked—sort of. Housewives still weren’t interested in the cookware, but they loved the soap pads. Eventually he dropped pots and pans and began selling soap pads full-time.
American chickens are direct descendants of the ones brought over by Columbus.
THE S&L SCANDAL:
TRUE OR FALSE?
“I think we’ve hit the jackpot.”—Ronald Reagan to assembled S&L executives, as he signed the Garn-St. Germaine Act deregulating the savings and loan industry.
You, your children and your grandchildren are going to be paying for the savings & loan scandal for years, but how much do you know about it? See if you can tell which of the following statements are true:
1. The S&L scandal is the second-largest theft in the history of the world.
2. Deregulation eased restrictions so much that S&L owners could lend money to themselves.
3. The Garn Institute of Finance, named after Senator Jake Garn—who co-authored the S&L deregulation bill—received $2.2 million from S&L industry executives.
4. For his part in running an S&L into the ground, Neil Bush, George’s son, served time in jail and was banned from future S&L involvement.
5. Rep. Fernand St. Germain, House banking chairman and co-author of the S&L deregulation bill, was voted out of office after some questionable financial dealings were reported. The S&L industry immediately sent him back to Washington...as its lobbyist.
6. When asked whether his massive lobbying of government officials had influenced their conduct, Lincoln Savings president Charles Keating said, “Of course not. These are honorable men.”
7. The S&L rip-off began in 1980, when Congress raised federal insurance on S&L deposits from $40,000 to $100,000, even though the average depositor’s savings account was only $20,000.
8. Assets seized from failed S&Ls included a buffalo sperm bank, a racehorse with syphilis, and a kitty-litter mine.
Benito Mussolini was a schoolteacher before he went into politics.
9. Working with the government in a bailout deal, James Fail invested $1 million of his own money to purchase 15 failing S&Ls. In return, the government gave him $1.8 billion in federal subsidies.
10. Federal regulators sometimes stalled as long as seven years before closing hopelessly insolvent thrifts.
11. When S&L owners who stole millions went to jail, their jail sentences averaged about five times the average sentence for bank robbers.
12. The government S&L bailout will ultimately cost taxpayers as much as $500 billion.
13. If the White House had admitted the problem and bailed out failing thrifts in 1986, instead of waiting until after the 1988 election, the bailout might have cost only $20 billion.
14. With the money lost in the S&L rip-off, the federal government could provide prenatal care for every American child born in the next 2,300 years.
15. With the money lost in the S&L rip-off, the federal government could have bought 5 million average houses.
16. The authors of Inside Job, a bestselling exposé of the S&L scandal, found evidence of criminal activity in 50% of the thrifts they investigated.
ANSWERS
(1) F; it’s the largest. (2) T (3) T (4) F (5) T (6) F; actually he said: “I certainly hope so.” (7) F; all true, except the average savings account was only $6,000. (8) T (9) F; it was only $1,000 of his own money. (10) T; partly because of politics, partly because Reagan’s people had fired 2/3 of the bank examiners needed to investigate S&L management. (11) F; they served only a fifth of the time. (12) F; it may hit $1.4 trillion. (13) T (14) T (15) T (16) F; they found criminal activity in all of the S&Ls they researched.
SCORING
13-16 right: Sadder, but wiser.
6-12 right: Just sadder.
0-5 right: Charlie Keating would like to talk to you about buying some bonds.
This quiz is from It’s a Conspiracy! by the National Insecurity Council. Thanks to The Nation and Inside Job for the facts cited.
Most earthworms like to eat ice cream.
DIRTY TRICKS
Why should politicians have all the fun? You can pull off some dirty tricks, too. This “dirty dozen” should inspire you to new lows.
POUND FOOLISH
Pay a visit to the local dog pound or SPCA, wearing a chefs hat and an apron. Ask to see one of the kittens or puppies that are available for adoption. Pick it up and act as if you’re weighing it, then set it down and ask to see one that’s “a little more plump.”
SOCK IT TO ’EM
Tired of looking for that one sock you lost in the laundry? Pass on your anxieties: Stick the leftover sock in with someone else’s washload. Let them look for the missing sock for awhile.
SOMETHING FISHY
If you have a (clean) aquarium, toss some thin carrot slices into the tank. Later when you have guests over, grab the slices out of the tank and eat them quickly. If you do it quick enough, your victims will assume you’re eating a goldfish. (If you accidentally grab a real goldfish, toss it back in, grab the carrot slice, and complain to your victims that the first fish was “too small.”)
LOST YOUR MARBLES?
Pry the hubcap off a friend’s car, drop two or three steel ball bearings inside, and replace the hubcap. Then watch them drive off. The ball bearings will make an enormous racket for a few seconds, until they become held in place by centrifugal force. They’ll stay silent until the victim applies the brakes, and then they’ll shake loose again.
TV GUIDE
Got a friend who’s a couch potato? Carefully remove the cover of their TV Guide (or weekly newspaper TV schedule), then glue it to an older schedule, so the TV listings are wrong. It’ll drive a true TV fanatic crazy.
Stamp of approval: more than 13 countries have issued Elvis Presley postage stamps.
RETURN TO SENDER
Embarrass a coworker by buying a magazine they would never read (High Times, Guns & Ammo, and Easy Rider work well), and glue the mailing label from one of their regular magazines to the cover. Then stick it in the cafeteria or restroom where other coworkers can see it.
PRACTICE DRILLS
The next time you visit the dentist, scream really loud the minute you get seated in the dentist’s chair. You’ll send the patients in the waiting room running for cover.
MAD HATTER
If your friend wears a favorite hat, find out the manufacturer and buy two or more others of varying sizes. Then periodically switch them with your friend’s hat. He’ll be convinced his head is changing sizes. (Another hat trick: Fill your victim’s hat with baby powder.)
AT A WEDDING
If you’re a close friend of the groom, paint a message on the sole of his shoes (the raised part near the heel that doesn’t touch the ground) without telling him. When he kneels at the altar, the message will be visible for everyone to see.
PARK PLACE
The next time you’re walking through a crowded parking lot, pull out your car keys and act as if you’re looking for your car. Walk in between cars across the rows; motorists looking for a parking space will race to keep up with you.
PARTY IDEA
Using superglue, glue someone’s drink to the bar or to a table.
WAKE UP CALL
Gather as many alarm clocks as you can find and hide them in different places in your victim’s room. Set one alarm so it goes off very early in the morning, and set the others so they go off every five minutes afterward. Guaranteed to make your victim an early riser.
There are approximately 720 peanuts in every pound of peanut butter.
THE ROCK ’N’ ROLL
RIOTS OF 1956
Were there really rowdy rockers in 1956 at Bill Haley and the Comets concerts? Did DJs really accuse him of being “a menace to life, limb, decency, and morals”? Believe it or not, they did. By the mid-1950s, parents were already sure rock ’n’ roll had ruined their kids.
TEENS RIOT IN MASSACHUSETTS
Boston, Mass., March 26, 1956 (Wire service report)
“Record hops by disc jockeys featuring ‘rock and roll’ tunes were banned in Boston today after a riot at Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s annual charity carnival.
“The disturbance involved nearly 3,000 students. It began when hundreds of teenagers who paid the 99¢ admission fee to see WCOP disc jockey Bill Marlowe discovered the carnival wasn’t a record hop, and they couldn’t dance.
“More than 20 officers were summoned to the scene, but they were unable to cope with the surging mob of teenagers who overturned booths, smashed records, and battled M.I.T. students who tried to keep order.
“‘Some of that music is crazy,’ commented Mary Driscoll of the Boston licensing board. ‘Teenagers have no business listening to disc jockeys at 12:00 at night. The way they’re going, they’ll have high blood pressure before they’re 20.’”
WASHINGTON MELEE
Newsweek, June 18, 1956
“Even before the joint began to jump, there was trouble at the National Guard Armory in Washington, D.C. As 5,000 people, mostly teenagers, poured in for some rock’n’roll, knives flashed and one young man was cut in the arm. Inside the auditorium, 25 officers waited tensely for Bill Haley and his Comets to swing into the ‘big beat.’
“Haley gave the downbeat, the brasses blared, and kids leaped into the aisles to dance, only to be chased back to their seats by the cops. At 10:50, the Comets socked into their latest hit, ‘Hot Dog, Buddy, Buddy!’ and the crowd flipped.
“Some of the kids danced, some scuffled, fights broke out, a chair flew. William Warfield, 17, a high school junior, was hit. Suffering from a concussion and a severe cut over one eye, he was rushed to the hospital. ‘Before I knew it, everybody was pounding everybody,’ he said later.
Most of the villains in the Bible have red hair.
“The fight overflowed into the street. A 19-year-old was struck over the head, and a 16-year-old was cut in the ear. Two cars were stoned and one exuberant teenager turned in a false alarm.
“‘It’s the jungle strain that gets ’em all worked up,’ said Armory manager Arthur (Dutch) Bergman, surveying the damage.”
THEATER ATTACKED
Hartford, Conn., March 28, 1956 “Hartford police have instituted action to revoke the license of the State Theater, as a result of a series of riots during rock’n’roll shows. The latest took place this weekend during performances of an Alan Freed show.
“The 4,000-seat theater has had five police riot calls since last November. Over this past weekend alone, a total of 11 people were arrested. Practically all arrests have been teenagers.”
ROCK, ROLL, AND RIOT
Time, June 18, 1956 “In Hartford city officials held special meetings to discuss it....In Minneapolis a theater manager withdrew a film featuring the music after a gang of youngsters left the theater, snake-danced around town and smashed windows....At a wild concert in Atlanta’s baseball park one night, fists and beer bottles were thrown, and four youngsters were arrested.
“The object of all this attention is a musical style known as ‘rock’n’roll,’ which has captivated U.S. adolescents.
“Characterisics: an unrelenting syncopation that sounds like a bullwhip; a choleric saxophone honking mating-call sounds; an electric guitar turned up so loud that its sound shatters and splits; a vocal group that shudders and exercises violently to the beat while roughly chanting either a near-nonsense phrase or a moronic lyric in hillbilly rhythm....
“Psychologists feel that rock’n’roll’s appeal is to teenagers’ need to belong; [in concert], the results bear passing resemblance to Hitler mass meetings.”
QUEEN SCREENS
Scholastic Magazine, Oct. 4, 1956
“In England, over 100 youths were arrested in ‘rock and roll’ riots that broke out during showing of a ‘rock and roll’ film. Queen Elizabeth II, disturbed by the growing number of such arrests, has scheduled a private screening of the film at her palace for official study.”
Termites can’t hear.
WILDE ABOUT OSCAR
Wit and wisdom from Oscar Wilde, one of the 19th century’s most popular—and controversial—writers.
“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.”
“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.”
“The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy.”
“Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.”
“Chi
ldren begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
“There’s no sin...except stupidity.”
“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”
“Formerly we used to canonize our heroes. The modern method is to vulgarize them. Cheap editions of great books may be delightful, but cheap editions of great men are absolutely detestable.”
“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
“Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.”
“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
“The only portraits in which one believes are portraits where there is very little of the sitter and a very great deal of the artist.”
“The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.”
“One should always play fairly—when one has the winning cards.”
“Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.”
“The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.”
The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, Elvis Presley.
A HANDY GUIDE TO
THE END OF THE
WORLD (Part I)
Most cultures have a tradition that predicts the end of the world... and many of their prophecies could apply to our era. The good news is that they’re not all fire and brimstone. Here are three examples from Eastern cultures, reprinted from Uncle John’s Indispensable Guide to the Year 2000.
BUDDHISM
Background: Founded in the sixth century B.C. in India. One of its primary teachings is observance of the 10 moral precepts (standards of conduct).
Signs the End Is Near: According to the Buddha in the Suttapitaka (Buddhist scriptures and sermons):
• The 10 moral courses of conduct will disappear...and people will follow the 10 immoral courses instead—“theft, violence, murder, lying, evil-speaking, adultery, abusive and idle talk, covetousness and ill will, wanton greed, and perverted lust.” Poverty “will grow great.”
Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader Page 12
