When: 1931, in London
Who: Chaplin, the “Little Tramp,” was the world’s most famous comedian. Gandhi, a tiny figure in a loincloth, was one of the world most revered political and religious leaders.
What Happened: As they posed for photographers, Chaplin tried to figure out what to say. In his autobiography, he writes about his terror: “The room was suddenly attacked by flashbulbs from the camera as we sat on the sofa. Now came that uneasy, terrifying moment when I should say something astutely intelligent upon a subject I know little about...I knew I had to start the ball rolling, that it was not up to the Mahatma to tell me how much he enjoyed my last film...I doubted he had ever even seen a film.” He finally got up the courage, and the two men politely exchanged political views. Then Chaplin stayed and watched Gandhi at his prayers.
GORGEOUS GEORGE & MUHAMMAD ALI
When: 1961, at a radio studio in Las Vegas
Who: Gorgeous George, with his permed blonde hair and purple robes, was one of TV wrestling’s original superstars. He sold out arenas wherever he played, and was named Mr. Television in 1949; but by 1961 his career was almost over. Cassius Clay (aka Muhammad Ali) was a young boxer who’d just turned pro.
What Happened: In 1961 George made a wrestling appearance in Las Vegas. To promote it, he went on a local radio show, shouting, “I am the greatest!” As it happened, the other guest on the program was a young Cassius Clay, who was so impressed with George’s theatrics that he went to the wrestling match that evening. The place was packed. “That’s when I decided I’d never been shy about talking,” Ali remembers, “but if I talked even more, there was no telling how much money people would pay to see me.”
Americans say microwave ovens are the best recent change in their lives, infomercials the worst.
NICHELLE NICHOLS & MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
When: 1967, at a party
Who: King was America’s greatest civil rights leader, and the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. Nichols was playing Lt. Uhura in Star Trek’s first (low-rated) season. She was considering quitting the show because Paramount wouldn’t give her a contract.
What Happened: According to one source: “A friend came up to Nichols at a party and said someone wanted to meet her. She expected a gushing Trekkie...but when she turned around, she was looking at Martin Luther King...who actually was a fan. He said he’d heard she was considering leaving Star Trek, and urged her not to; she was too important a role model for blacks—and the only black woman on TV with real authority. ‘Do you realize that you’re fourth in command on the Enterprise?’ he asked. Nichols didn’t. The next day she checked and found he was right....She stayed with the show and finally got her contract the next season.”
HARPO MARX & GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
When: 1931, at the Villa Gallanon in the south of France
Who: Shaw was “the most important British playright since Shakespeare.” Marx was part of the world’s most popular slapstick team.
What Happened: Here’s how Harpo described the meeting in his autobiography: “I went down the cliff to the little sheltered cove we used for nude bathing, took off my clothes, and went for a swim. I came out of the water and stretched out on a towel to sunbathe....I was startled out of my doze in the sun by a man’s voice, blaring from the top of the cliff. ‘Halloo! Halloo! Is there nobody home?’
“I wrapped the towel around myself and scrambled up the cliff to see who it was. It was a tall, skinny, red-faced old geezer with a beard, decked out in a sporty cap and knicker suit. There was a lady with him. ‘Who the devil are you?’ I told him I was Harpo Marx. ‘Ah, yes, of course,’ he said. He held out his hand. ‘I’m Bernard Shaw,’ he said. Instead of shaking hands with me, he made a sudden lunge for my towel and snatched it away, and exposed me naked to the world. ‘And this,’ he said, ‘is Mrs. Shaw.’ From the moment I met him, I had nothing to hide from George Bernard Shaw.” They became good friends.
Teenage boys use more shampoo—and less deodorant—than teenage girls.
ORIGIN OF THE “BIG
THREE” NETWORKS
They’re a big part of your life...but we’ll bet you don’t know how they got there. Let’s correct that.
THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY (NBC)
NBC is the oldest of the “Big three” American broadcasting networks. It was founded on September 13, 1926, by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA), the world’s largest radio manufacturer, because they feared poor-quality radio broadcasting was hurting sales.
Spurred on by RCA president David Sarnoff, NBC quickly became the most potent force in radio. The demand for programming was so high that within a year NBC split its radio operations into two divisions—the Red and Blue networks. The two continued broadcasting side by side until 1943, when the U.S. government forced NBC to sell off the Blue network in an antitrust suit.
Meanwhile, RCA was experimenting with television (which Sarnoff called “the art of distant seeing”). In 1931 NBC built its first television transmitter, on top of the Empire State Building. Although development of TV was subsequently slowed by the Depression, regular TV service was started by NBC in 1939...and the first TV network broadcast ever was on January 11, 1940, from NBC in New York City to a General Electric-owned station in Schenectady, New York.
Because America was putting its resources into the war effort from 1941 to 1945, NBC couldn’t begin regular network TV broadcasts until 1945. RCA was the sole owner of NBC until 1985, when GE—an original partner in 1926—bought RCA for $6.8 billion.
THE COLUMBIA BROADCASTING SYSTEM (CBS)
In the 1920s, Arthur Judson was a talent agent whose clients included the New York Philharmonic. When NBC pioneered TV broadcasting in 1926, Judson cut a deal with them to broadcast several of his clients—but NBC reneged on its promise. Judson was so angry that he started his own radio broadcasting network. He called it the United Independent Broadcasters and began signing up independent radio stations around the country.
Prune juice is the sixth most popular juice in the U.S.
Judson was too broke to run the company alone, so he joined forces with the Columbia Phonograph and Records Co. and changed the network’s name to the Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System. It initially provided 10 hours of programming per week to 16 affiliates. But CPBS was losing money, and Columbia Phonograph pulled out. They sold their shares to Jerome Louchheim, a wealthy Philidelphia builder, who renamed CPBS the Columbia Broadcasting System. He, in turn, sold out to William S. Paley for $400,000 in 1929. Paley (whose father, owner of the Congress Cigar Co., was one of CBS’s largest advertisers) turned the ailing network around almost overnight. By 1932 CBS was earning more than $3 million a year in profits—and in 1939 it was doing so well that it bought its former owner, Columbia Phonograph and Records.
THE AMERICAN BROADCASTING SYSTEM (ABC)
When the U.S. government forced NBC to sell off its Blue network in 1943, Lifesaver candy manufacturer Edward J. Noble bought it for $8 million and renamed it the American Broadcasting Company. Ten years later, ABC merged with United Paramont Theaters—a chain of movie theaters the government had forced Paramount Pictures to sell—and went into TV broadcasting.
A perpetual “weak sister” to its larger rivals, ABC remained a second-rate network until 1954, when its gavel-to-gavel coverage of the U.S. Senate’s Army-McCarthy hearings made broadcasting history...and gave them newfound respectability.
ABC remained much smaller than its rivals, but made up for its lack of money and affiliate stations by producing more innovative TV shows than CBS and NBC. Some of its groundbreaking shows: “Disneyland,” “The Mickey Mouse Club,” and “Batman.” ABC also revolutionized sports coverage with shows like “Monday Night Football,” “Wide World of Sports,” and its coverage of the Olympics. The network used the profits generated from sports and miniseries shows to strengthen its news and prime-time programming—and in 1975 its overall ratings shot ahead of its rivals for the first time. It has been
on equal footing ever since.
America has 1,103 drive-in movie theaters, more than any other nation on Earth.
THE GENUINE ARTICLE
A random sampling of authentic articles, dialogue, commentary. You are there.
OUTRAGE OVER ELVIS
In 1956, Elvis Presley appeared on the “Ed Sullivan Show.” We think of it as a great moment in TV history, but at the time, critics (and other grown-ups) didn’t. These comments appeared in the New York Times:
“Last Sunday on the “Ed Sullivan Show,” Mr. Presley made another of his appearances and attracted a record audience. In some ways, it was the most unpleasant of his recent three performances. Mr. Presley initially disturbed adult viewers with his strip-tease behavior on last spring’s Milton Berle’s program....On the Sullivan program he injected movements of the tongue and indulged in wordless singing that were singularly distasteful....
“Some parents are puzzled or confused by Mr. Presley’s almost hypnotic power; some are concerned; [but] most are a shade disgusted and [will be] content to let the Presley fad play itself out.”
CHARLIE CHAPLIN’S FAVORITE JOKE
At lunch one afternoon, Charlie Chaplin was asked to relate the funniest joke he’d ever heard. You’d think that “the world’s greatest comic genius” would tell something hilarious. But...well...you decide.
“A man in a tea shop orders a cup of coffee and a piece of shortbread. On paying the bill, he compliments the manager on the quality of the shortbread and asks if it could be custom-made in any shape. ‘Why, certainly.’
“‘Well, if I come back tomorrow, could you make me a piece shaped like the letter “e”?’
“‘No trouble,’ says the manager. Next day, on returning to the shop, the man looks aghast.
“‘But you’ve made it a capital “E”!’ He arranges to come back another day, and this time expresses himself completely satisfied.
“‘Where would you like me to send it?’ asks the manager.
“‘Oh, I won’t give you the trouble to send it anywhere,’ says the customer. ‘I’ll sit down here, if I may, and eat it now.’ And he does.”
According to Family Circle magazine, each American averages one greasy-food stain per month.
No one at lunch thought it was funny, either. (Neither do we.)
HISTORIC RECIPE
In 1770, American revolutionaries published these detailed directions for tarring and feathering, which was, at the time “a mob ritual.”
How to Tar and Feather Someone
“First, strip a person naked, then heat the Tar until it is thin & pour it upon naked Flesh, or rub it over with a Tar brush.
“After which, sprinkle decently upon the Tar, whilst it is yet warm, as many Feathers as will stick to it.
“Then hold a lighted Candle to the Feathers, & try to set it all on Fire.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN CENSORSHIP
In 1937, Mae West was barred from radio after she engaged in a slightly risqué dialogue on NBC’s Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy Show. The conversation was with McCarthy, a ventriloquist’s dummy!
Mae West: “Why don’t you come home with me now honey? I’ll let you play in my woodpile.”
Charlie McCarthy: “Well, I don’t feel so well tonight. I’ve been feeling nervous lately....”
West: “You can’t kid me. You’re afraid of women. Your Casanova stuff is just a front, a false front.”
McCarthy: “Not so loud, Mae, not so loud! All my girlfriends are listening....”
West: “You weren’t so nervous when you came up to see me at my apartment. In fact, you didn’t need any encouragement to kiss me.”
McCarthy: “Did I do that?”
West: “You certainly did. I got marks to prove it. And splinters, too.”
Protests poured in from church groups, ostensibly because the show had aired on a Sunday (more likely reason: they objected to West’s general “promiscuity”). The sponsor agreed it was “inappropriate,” and apologized on the air; Hollywood disavowed both the skit and West; NBC declared she would never appear on radio again.
Most popular book genre: mysteries and thrillers; 25% of American readers read them to relax.
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION
On Nov. 4, 1874, this article allegedly appeared in The American Weekly. It was quoted in an 1896 book, Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine, but it’s really just an early urban legend.
“During the fray [between Union and Confederate troops], a soldier staggered and fell to earth; at the same time a piercing cry was heard in the house nearby. Examination showed that a bullet had passed through the scrotum and carried away the left testicle. The same bullet had apparently penetrated the left side of the abdomen of a young lady...and become lost in the abdomen. The daughter suffered an attack of peritonitis, but recovered.
“Two hundred and seventy-eight days after the reception of the minie ball, she was delivered of a fine boy weighing eight pounds, to the surprise of herself, and the mortification of her parents and friends.
“The doctor concluded that... the same ball that had carried away the testicle of his young friend...had penetrated the ovary of the young lady and, with some spermatozoa upon it, had impregnated her. With this conviction, he approached the young man and told him of the circumstances. The soldier appeared skeptical at first, but consented to visit the young mother; a friendship ensued, which soon ripened into a happy marriage.”
NIXONIA
You think Richard Nixon was “a little” stiff and formal? Here’s a memo he sent to his wife on January 25, 1969.
To: Mrs. Nixon
From: The President
With regard to RN’s room, what would be the most desirable is an end table like the one on the right side of the bed, which will accomodate two dictaphones as well as a telephone. RN has to use one dictaphone for current matters and another for memoranda for the file, which he will not want transcribed at this time. In addition, he needs a bigger table on which he can work at night. The table which is presently in the room does not allow enough room for him to get his knees under it.
Only 33% of people in the United Arab Emirates are women—the lowest percentage on Earth.
CARTOON NAMES
How did our favorite cartoon characters get their unusual names? Here are a few answers.
Bugs Bunny: Warner Brothers cartoonist Bugs Hardaway submitted preliminary sketches for “a tall, lanky, mean rabbit” for a cartoon called “Hare-um Scare-um”—and someone labeled the drawings “Bugs’s Bunny.” Hardaway’s mean rabbit was never used—but the name was given to the bunny in the cartoon “A Wild Hare.”
Casper the Friendly Ghost: Cartoonist Joe Oriolo’s daughter was afraid of ghosts—so he invented one that wouldn’t scare her. “We were looking for a name that didn’t sound threatening,” he says.
Chip ’n’ Dale: Disney animator Jack Hannah was meeting with colleagues to pick names for his two new chipmunk characters. His assistant director happened to mention Thomas Chippendale, the famous furniture designer. “Immediately,” Hannah remembers, “I said ‘That’s it! That’s their names!’”
Mickey Mouse: Walt Disney wanted to name the character Mortimer Mouse—but his wife hated the name. “Mother couldn’t explain why the name grated; it just did,” Disney’s daughter Diane remembers. Disney wanted the character’s name to begin with the letter M (to go with Mouse)—and eventually decided on Mickey.
Porky Pig: According to creator Bob Clampett: “Someone thought of two puppies named Ham and Ex, and that started me thinking. So after dinner one night, I came up with Porky and Beans. I made a drawing of this fat little pig, which I named Porky, and a little black cat named Beans.”
Rocky & Bullwinkle: Rocky was picked because it was “just a square-sounding kid’s name”; Bullwinkle was named after Clarence Bulwinkel, a used-car dealer from Berkeley, California.
Elmer Fudd: Inspired by a line in a 1920s song called “Mississippi Mud.” The line: “It’s a treat t
o meet you on the Mississippi Mud—Uncle Fudd.”
Foghorn Leghorn: Modeled after Senator Claghorn, a fictional politician in comedian Fred Allen’s radio show.
Bestselling children’s book in history: The Tale of Peter Rabbit, by Beatrix Potter.
MORE LEFT-
HANDED FACTS
Here’s more info for lefties. Why devote two more pages to the subject? Okay, okay. We admit it—Uncle John is left-handed.
LEFT-HANDED STATS
• Lefties make up about 5% to 15% of the general population—but 15% to 30% of all patients in mental institutions.
• They’re more prone to allergies, insomnia, migranes, schizophrenia and a host of other things than right-handers. They’re also three times more likely than righties to become alcoholics. Why? Some scientists speculate the right hemisphere of the brain—the side left-handers use the most—has a lower tolerance for alcohol than the left side. Others think the stress of living in a right-handed world is responsible.
• Lefties are also more likely to be on the extreme ends of the intelligence scale than the general population: a higher proportion of mentally retarded people and people with IQs over 140 are lefties.
LEFT OUT OF SCIENCE
• For centuries science was biased against southpaws. In the 1870s, for example, Italian psychiatrist Cesare Lombroso published The Delinquent Male, in which he asserted that left-handed men were psychological “degenerates” and prone to violence. (A few years later he published The Delinquent Female, in which he made the same claims about women.)
• This theory existed even as late as the 1940s, when psychiatrist Abram Blau wrote that left-handedness “is nothing more than an expression of infantile negativism and falls into the same category as...general perverseness.” He speculated that lefties didn’t get enough attention from their mothers.
LEFT-HANDED TRADITIONS
• Why do we throw salt over our left shoulders for good luck? To throw it into the eyes of the Devil, who, of course, lurks behind us to our left.
Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader Page 43
