As I was drying myself, Simon walked in. He slipped his hands around my waist, kissing my neck as his hand worked its way over my breast and tugged gently at my nipples.
“I'm not dry,” I laughed, trying to pull myself away from his silk shirt.
“Don't care,” he mumbled, nuzzling his face into my neck. “God, you're beautiful, I could just eat you right up.”
“Hey, if you want to eat me, I’m not complaining,” I giggled, raising my eyebrows, amused at my own dirty comment.
“Emma! What kind of man do you think you’re marrying?” he said with mock horror. He grabbed hold of my hand and led me to the bed. I waited as he pulled back the covers and helped me onto the mattress.
“I'm capable of getting into bed myself, you know.”
“Yes, but it’s so much more fun helping you,” Simon chuckled, kissing my nose, “because then I get to see you naked.”
“You see me naked all the time,” I giggled, crossing my hands over my stomach self-consciously. I hadn't gained that much weight during the pregnancy, which was surprising considering how much I was eating. Yesterday I tore through three bowls of cereal, an apple, half a loaf of full grain bread and all that was just before lunch.
“And I like it. I'll never tire of seeing this sexy body,” he grinned. He tickled me, trailing his kisses down my stomach, down over my belly button, down even lower...
“Stop!” I squealed, rolling onto my side, trying to fight off his attack. I could see the outline of his erection through his pants. I smiled, liking the feeling his arousal gave me.
“I'm going to have a shower, then I'll be in bed.” he said, kissing me again. Smiling, I watched him disappear into the bathroom. I listened to the sound of the shower running, suddenly remembering my promise to text Cass after my appointment. I grabbed my cell off the nightstand.
Sorry, I completely forgot about you. Everything’s good. Drop by tomorrow if you're free.
Cass replied right back.
Not working now, so I might come past after lunch and it’s nice to know I'm so forgettable :p
I put my cell back on charge, smiling at her reply. I honestly don't know how I would've survived the past ten years if it hadn't have been for her and Tom. They had been more supportive than my own family had ever been and now they were together and had been for six months.
This was the longest relationship for both of them. They were so similar, yet so different. That was either going to work really well or it was going to be a disaster. And so far things between them were going well and as the friend stuck in the middle, I was glad.
Simon snuggled close to me as I stirred in the darkness. Opening an eye, I peered around the room trying to make out the shadows. I must have fallen asleep. He pressed his body against mine. Kissing my ear, he whispered something I couldn't quite understand. I moaned my agreement, too tired to care. He kissed my neck, his mouth gently sucking on my skin as his fingers ran all over my body. Groans escaped my lips. He chuckled, knowing that he knew where to touch me and exactly how to do it.
His fingers slipped between my legs as he teased me with his touch. I rolled over to give him more access, my arm slipping around his waist. His mouth enclosed over my nipple as his pace quickened between my legs. My hand massaged his hair as I spread my legs wider, trying to push myself toward his fingers. He laughed, pulling back letting me know he was in control.
“Please,” I whimpered, so badly needing the release.
“Please what?” he whispered, working his fingers deeper inside me.
“Please…oh god yeah!” I cried as he circled my clit.
“What do you want Emma? Tell me what you want.”
“Make me come,” I whispered. This was not the time to be shy. My back arched as I let out a gasp and pushed his face down on my breast. I screamed into my pillow as I reached my orgasm, desperately trying to push his hand away from what was now such a sensitive area.
“Wow…” I managed, rolling back onto my side. Simon chuckled at my response, his hands roaming over my bare back.
“Love you, honey,” he whispered, nuzzling up to me.
“Love you too.” I mumbled back
Chapter Seven
Emma
Once again, I woke well after Simon had left for work with a huge desire to pee.
The worst part was, it wasn’t the kind of need to pee you can put off in exchange for a few more minutes of sleep (come on, we've all been there), this was the jump straight out of bed, no matter how freezing it is and run to the toilet kind of pee.
After I was done, I begrudgingly pulled on my bathrobe and headed for the kitchen. I was now so awake, that going back to bed wasn't an option. No, it had nothing to do with the fact it was after eleven in the morning. If that wasn't an indication that I was not a morning person, I don't know what was.
I retrieved the newspaper from the front porch (yes!) and made myself some breakfast and my daily decaf coffee. Simon often forgot to bring in the paper from outside. Forgot, my ass. I knew exactly what his plan was, to get me out of the house, even if it was just outside the door. He knew I couldn’t go without reading the paper.
After an average breakfast of stale cornflakes, low-fat milk and overripe strawberries, I showered and dressed. I picked out some black pants and a stretchy green tunic that sat nicely over my bump. As stupid as it was, I liked to look nice for my appointments with Doctor Nichols and it had nothing to do with him being more than slightly attractive.
Curled up on the couch with Carol on my hip, I so was engrossed in the midday movie (which was aptly about a pregnant woman being stalked by a woman, who couldn't have children so she could kidnap the baby), that I nearly fell off the couch when the doorbell rang. Carol hissed at me, before flouncing off into the bedroom, growling at being disturbed. I glanced at the clock, surprised. Cass was never early. I hobbled to the door.
“Claire,” I said, surprised. “And Maddie,” I added with a smile as the little girl hurled herself around my legs. Her dark curls were pinned up into a bun and she sported a tiny leotard, skirt and ballet shoes.
“Emmy!” she cried, hugging me closely. She grabbed hold of my shirt and gently lifted it up. “Hello baby,” she whispered to my stomach. I giggled at the cuteness of Maddie. She'd taken to calling me Emmy after deciding that Emma took too long for her to say. There was no point explaining to a four year old that saying Emmy was just as much work as saying Emma.
“Ballet lessons?” I asked, laughing. She was so god dammed cute! Claire rolled her eyes.
“She doesn’t start them until next week, but I can’t get her to take it off,” she replied.
“Come in.” I added, closing the door behind them. “Sorry, the place is a mess,” I explained blushing.
Having Cass here was one thing, but having someone else, especially Simon's ex-wife, see the house in this state was not good. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pasted a smile on my face, one that said ‘hey, I love unexpected visitors!’
“Are you kidding? You are seven months pregnant. You shouldn't be doing anything.”
“And you sound just like Simon,” I grumbled. “Do you want a coffee or a tea?” I asked, still trying to figure out why she was here. She never came over when Simon wasn’t here, as in never.
“Sit,” Claire ordered, “I'll get it. Do you want one?”
“Decaf, no sugar thanks,” I said, making a face. Ugh. I hated the taste of coffee without sugar and decaf somehow managed to taste even worse, but it was still better than nothing. I let Maddie drag me over to the sofa, where she plopped down next to me.
“Did you know it's my birthday in a month, Emmy? Maybe baby will come early so we can share our birthdays!” She clapped her hands excitedly, making me laugh.
“Maybe,” I smiled, deciding there was no point explaining why I wanted this baby to stay inside me for as long as possible.
I tried to focus on Maddie and her chatting, but the mention of the baby coming early had se
nt me into a spin. These cramps were getting more severe and more often. What if they actually indicated that something was wrong?
“Are you okay? You look a little green,” said Claire, setting my drink down in front of me. She handed a glass of milk to Maddie, who took it and began gulping it down.
“I’m fine,” I grinned at Maddie, who now sported a milk moustache, not about to let on how I was feeling to Claire. She probably already thought I was a nutcase and I didn’t want to give her more reason to think that.
Claire was lovely and I really had no logical reason not to like her, I just felt so damn small next to her. She was prettier, more successful and she was the definition of the woman I thought I needed to be for Simon. How long until Simon realized he was better off with her?
It was stupid thinking that way and I knew that, but my stupid insecurities didn’t care about the facts. They just fed on the way Simon’s eyes lit up when he was talking to Claire, or the years of memories they shared. It didn’t help matters that Claire was now single. He had forgiven Claire for the affair, what if he realized he still loved her?
The idea of that scared the hell out of me.
“Emma?”
I glanced back at Claire, who was looking down at me, concerned.
“Should I call 911 or something?” she asked, her face creased into a frown. I shook my head.
“No, seriously, I’m fine. I just felt a bit dizzy but I’m fine now,” I promised, embarrassed that she was making so much of this. “Really,” I added with a smile because smiles made everything more believable.
Claire nodded, still not convinced. She walked over to retrieve her coffee from the kitchen counter and joined me on the sofa, placing one leg over the other. I tried not to stare at her slim, toned body. Next to her I felt like a sack of potatoes.
“How have you been feeling? Simon mentioned the doctor thinks things are going well,” she added. I eyed her suspiciously. When had he spoken to her? And why did I feel so wound up whenever she said his name?
“Oh?” I said casually, picking up my drink, “when did you speak to him?” Claire’s face colored slightly.
“He called me last night to speak to Maddie,” she said hastily.
Right. Suddenly her impromptu visit didn’t seem so out of the blue. He’d asked her to drop in on me, I was sure of it and it really pissed me off.
He thought I needed a babysitter? Fine, he didn’t like me spending all day alone, but if he’d just simply asked me I would’ve told him that Cass was coming over anyway. Claire sensed my anger and looked uncomfortable as she placed her empty cup down on the coffee table.
“Listen Emma, he was just worried about you being home alone all day,” she said, not bothering to try and cover up the obvious. I nodded, not wanting to make a big deal of it.
“Its fine,” I assured her, trying to calm the seething fire rising inside of me. The last thing I wanted was for her to know how much this bothered me, not that I was hiding my feelings very well.
Why did this make me so angry? After an awkward few minutes where neither of us spoke, Claire finally gathered her and Maddie’s things.
“We might leave you to get some rest,” she said, her voice uneasy. I nodded, smiling at Maddie.
“See you Emmy!” Maddie sang out, throwing her arms around me for a hug. I squeezed her back, kissing her cheek.
“See you this weekend, Maddie,” I promised waving them off.
Chapter Eight
Emma
“I think you’re overreacting,” Cass said, rolling her eyes as she reached for another cookie. It had been over two hours since Claire had been here and my anger still felt so raw.
“I know I am, but I can’t help it. She’s so…nice,” I said, as if the word was disgusting. “I just keep thinking she’s right there, waiting in the wings, so she can swoop back in and steal him from me. I know that’s stupid, I really do,” I added sullenly.
“Do you trust Simon?” Cass asked. I looked at her, shocked by the question. Did she really just ask me that?
“Of course I do,” I answered hotly, “It’s her I worry about.”
“Em, if you trust him, then she doesn’t matter. Regardless of how paranoid I think you’re being, if you trust him, then that’s it.” Cass shrugged, her palms turned upward.
Sighing, I threw my head back. If only my thoughts were that easy to turn off. I did trust him, but trust wasn’t the issue, the issue was me. I’d never had to open myself up to someone before and going from completely depending on myself to including someone else was hard.
“Enough about this, we need to talk about Tom.” Cass looked at me seriously, her expression grim.
“What about Tom?” I asked suspiciously. I had a feeling where this was going and I knew I was not going to like it.
“Well I’m really into him right, but all we seem to do is have sex,” Cass sighed.
“Cass,” I said laughing, “I’m not sure I want to hear about this.” Thinking about Tom and Cass having sex was an image I didn’t want in my head. “And so what? You love sex,” I added, rolling my eyes. That was why they were so perfect for each other.
“Yeah, but I want more with Tom,” she said, her face coloring. I sat up, not sure I heard correctly. “You want more? Cass, you never want more, you’re forever ending relationships because the guy wants more than just sex.” Cass glared at me as I giggled. “What?” I shrugged, laughing, “I’m sorry, but it’s funny.”
“I’m glad you find it so funny,” she muttered, crossing her arms. Sitting forward, I touched her arm.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Tell me about it,” I coaxed gently. Cass looked at me for a moment, before she sighed.
“I don’t know what the hell is wrong. I think I’m more into him that he is me,” she whined. In all the time I’d known her, I’d never seen her like this.
“Aww Cassie,” I said, standing up and throwing myself on her knee. I hugged her as she laughed. “Look, I’ve known Tom a long time and the way he is around you, well, I’ve never seen him like that before. He is just as into you as you are him, he just doesn’t quite know how to show it yet,” I smiled. Cass didn’t look convinced. I tried another approach.
“Before this, your longest relationship was about a month, right?” I said. Cass nodded. “Well it’s probably taking him longer to get comfortable in the relationship than you, that’s all.”
Look at me giving relationship advice. I’m sure there was irony in there somewhere.
“I guess you’re right, I just hate feeling this way,” she said glumly.
“What, vulnerable? In love? Dependent on someone else?” I teased. Cass poked her tongue out at me.
“Like you can talk,” she muttered, “because you’re so comfortable being in a relationship and all.”
“Hey, I’m only trying to help, I never said I was an expert,” I chuckled. “Speaking of which, do you mind taking me to Park Street? I made an appointment to see my psychiatrist,” I explained.
“Ooh, is this the sexy doctor? Is that why you’re all dressed up?” she teased, her eyes lighting up as she got to her feet.
“Shut up, I wish I’d never told you I thought he was cute,” I muttered, following her outside.
I felt the usual feelings of anxiety (throat restricting, sweating, shaking hands) being outside of the house. The waiting room at the psychiatrists was empty apart from Cass and me, which made things a little easier, but I still felt like I was being watched and judged by everyone. It occurred to me that I hadn’t told Simon about this appointment. Not that it mattered. When I needed to go, I went. In fact, if anything, he’d be glad that I’d taken it upon myself to make the appointment and arrange for Cass to take me.
“There he is,” I whispered to Cass, jolting my eyes toward the reception. Doctor Nichols was leaning over the desk, looking at something on the computer. Cass turned and looked at him with interest. His dark hair and brown eyes reminded me of Simon, maybe that’s why I foun
d him attractive. His toned body was noticeable, even through his black pants and light blue shirt. Cass turned back to me, her eyes wide.
“You get to talk shit with that once a week?” She gaped at me. “I’m so jealous.”
“What about Tom?” I teased.
“What about Simon?” she shot back without missing a beat. I grinned, point taken.
“Emma?”
I glanced up, my face red, trying to ignore Cass and her crazy eyes. I followed Doctor Nichols into his room and sat down in the chair to the right, where I always sat. I fidgeted with my hands until he sat down behind his desk.
“How are you, Emma? You’re looking good,” he added.
“Thanks,” I blushed, “I’m okay. No, actually, I’m not that good.” I corrected. What was the point in making an appointment and then lying about how I was feeling? Talk about counter-productive.
“So tell me what’s making you feel off,” he encouraged.
“The constant feeling that I need to worry about everything. The baby, Simon…everything,” I finished. I wasn’t even making sense.
“Emma, focus on one thing at a time. The baby, for example. Everything is going well?” he asked, fiddling with a pen. I stared as he rolled the pen in and over each of his long slender fingers. He caught my gaze, I blushed, looking away, remembering what Simon had done with his fingers the previous night. Why the hell had I just recalled that?
“Everything is fine, it’s just like I’m sitting here, waiting for it all to fall apart,” I tried to explain, my eyes not leaving the small potted plant that sat on his desk. I found myself wondering if it was real. It looked real. “Everything always falls apart, so why should this be any different,” I added.
“And Simon, your fiancé, what is the issue there?”
Incredible Beauty (So Many Reasons) Page 4
