“I’d like to accompany you,” she told him.
He grinned. “You can even come with us, if you’d like.”
She put her hands on her hips. “I refuse to believe that you think ‘accompany’ is a big word. It isn’t.”
“If you say so. But to my way of thinking, once a woman turns into a schoolteacher, she never turns back.”
“And what exactly is wrong with being a schoolteacher?”
He leaned close. “I think that’s something we need to discuss in private.”
He was only teasing her, yet Emily couldn’t help blushing and wishing that they were in private right now. She had a feeling that Lucas would kiss her. She’d seen him glancing at her low-cut dress when he’d thought she wasn’t looking. Was he admiring her? Did he want to touch her there?
The thought was so incredibly shocking that she nearly choked. How could she have thought such a thing? Under other circumstances she would never consider thinking about a man touching her at all, let alone in such an intimate manner.
Except, a small voice in her head whispered, Lucas wasn’t any man. He was her husband. And hadn’t she been wishing that he wanted her the way most husbands wanted their wives?
Someone cleared her throat. Emily turned and saw Molly standing close by.
“I appreciate the hospitality and all, but I think it’s time I headed up to greet my new husband.”
Emily frowned. “We’re going to take you in the morning.”
“Why wait?” Molly asked brightly. “I can rent a buggy and take myself there tonight.”
“No,” Lucas said. “It will be dark soon. Jackson’s place is too small for all of us to stay there the night.”
“I’m not asking you to come with me.” Molly raised her chin and met Lucas’s gaze with a stubborn glance of her own. “I’ve managed to travel all the way from Massachusetts by myself. I’ve no doubt I can find the cabin. As for it getting dark, I’ll have the stars to guide me. My uncle taught me well how to navigate.”
Emily had been about to protest Molly making the journey on her own, but she had second thoughts. The woman had a point. She had come all the way to Defiance without any man to guide her, just as Emily had come from Ohio. If she were in Molly’s place, she wouldn’t want to wait until morning, either.
“Lucas, she’s right,” Emily told her husband. “Why can’t Molly go tonight if she wants to? The road is safe and she can find the cabin as easily as any man.”
“I never said she had to be a man to go.”
“You want to take her.”
“Because it’s polite.”
“Don’t twist the truth. You think she needs an escort because she’s a woman.”
“Now you know what I’m thinking?”
“If there’s a road, then there’s no problem a’tall,” Molly announced. “If you’ll just be tellin’ me where I can rent a buggy.”
Lucas grumbled something under his breath. “This is all your fault,” he told Emily.
“Really? I thought you were the one who wanted your brother married.”
He glared at her. “We’ll discuss this later.”
It had now been three nights since they’d dined together. Molly’s determination gave her a little courage of her own. “Over dinner?” she asked dryly. “Are you finished avoiding me?”
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
Molly started moving down the center aisle of the small church. “I’ll go find the blacksmith myself.”
“No, wait. I’m coming with you.” He glared at Emily. “Yes, I’ll be there for dinner.” He stalked away muttering something about “damn women.”
The sight of her usually calm husband all flustered did much to bring a smile to Emily’s lips.
“Molly departed all right?” Emily asked as she served baked chicken to her husband.
“She seemed to. At least she knows how to handle a horse. Good thing. That damn bird of hers kept squawking.”
“I liked Captain Blood.”
“Figures.”
He was still in a temper, no doubt from their encounter earlier in the day. For some reason, that pleased Emily. Even if he didn’t care about her the way she would like, the fact that she annoyed him meant he was unable to ignore her.
“You don’t like it when I disagree with you, do you?” she asked.
He glared at her from across the table. “Of course not. You wouldn’t like me disagreeing with you.”
“I might not mind if you were right about something and I was not.”
His glare turned into a scowl. “You’re saying you were right and I was wrong?”
“Not at all. I was merely making an observation.”
He grunted.
Emily smiled. He wore a red vest over his white shirt, along with a tailored black coat. Elegant as always, she thought, pleased with her husband’s handsome face and fine manners. She wondered if he knew he looked like a little boy when he scowled and sulked. She thought he did not and assumed it would be wise to keep that information to herself.
“Molly is looking forward to being married. She said she’s wanted a family all her life.”
Lucas didn’t reply. She wondered what secrets he was keeping from her about Jackson and his past.
“Molly said that happiness in a marriage is a decision, not a matter of luck. Do you agree with her?”
“I’ve never thought about it.”
“Really.” She leaned toward him. “You’ve never thought about marriage at all?”
His blue eyes darkened with temper. “Emily, what is the point of this conversation?”
“I didn’t know you expected there to be one. I was simply sharing the things I learned during my visit with my new sister-in-law. I found her quite charming. Molly also said that if Jackson is an honest and good man, she’ll be well pleased. She knows she can mold the rest of him into being whatever she’d like.”
Lucas swore, but she chose to ignore the word.
“What is it about you women?” he demanded. “Why do you think you can change a man?”
“I’m sure I don’t know. I’ve never thought such a thing.”
“Pull the other leg.”
She stiffened. “Lucas. I have never lied to you. I don’t lie.”
He frowned. “All right,” he conceded. “Perhaps lie is too strong a word. I’ll agree that you haven’t deliberately set out to change me.”
“Not even a little.”
“Yet here I sit—a changed man.”
She looked at him. “I don’t see a change. Your clothes, your manner, everything about you is as it was when we met.”
He glared. “I’m here.”
She looked around at her office. Why was it men always talked about women being difficult? Personally, she had absolutely no understanding of her husband’s complaints.
“All right,” she said slowly. “You are dining in this office, which you would have not done before our marriage. I do not see how that is so great a change.”
“There are other things.”
“Such as?”
He threw his hands into the air. “There you go, demanding things. When did you become a shrewish wife?”
“Shrewish? Lucas, what’s wrong with you this evening?”
“Nothing.” He stared at his coffee. “I need a drink. And you shouldn’t be wearing that dress.”
She glanced down at the blue gown and had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. Was that the problem? Did he find her attractive? Perhaps the contrast in her appearance was great enough to make him nervous. If only she knew how to use her advantage to further their relationship.
“Why is it you and your brother have never married?” she asked when nothing more brilliant occurred to her.
“I can’t speak for Jackson,” he mumbled, avoiding her gaze. “For myself, I never wanted to.”
“Why? You’re married now and doing very well.” She held in a smile. “For one married to such a shrewish wife.”
“
You’re going to keep mentioning that until I apologize, aren’t you?”
She toyed with her dinner so he wouldn’t see the amusement in her eyes. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m sure you do.” He sighed. “I never planned on getting married, because I’m not the marrying kind of man. This is only temporary, so it’s easier.”
His words burned away her humor and set up an aching in the region of her heart. She set her fork on the table.
“I remember,” she said slowly. “You married me because of the will and because my hotel provides you with income, nothing more.” She studied his face. “What else is there, Lucas? I don’t believe your statement of being the kind of man who doesn’t marry. What dark secret are you hiding from me?”
She waited for him to deny there was a secret. She waited for him to laugh, or perhaps even to confess. What she didn’t expect was for him to toss his napkin onto the table, rise and walk away without saying a word.
Chapter Eight
It had rained until dawn. Emily knew, because she spent much of the night awake and pacing in her room. She’d tried to sleep, telling herself that her worries were silly. But she couldn’t quite make herself believe the words.
Something had happened the previous evening at dinner. She could almost understand Lucas’s confusion at the change in her appearance. She thought the transformation to be miraculous, so perhaps he did as well. She wasn’t sure why the sight of her in a low-cut dress had muddled his thinking, but she was pleased to learn the fact. What she didn’t know was why he’d stalked away from the table.
She’d tried to speak with him later, but he’d kept to the saloon. Her going to see him there during the day was one thing. But his place of business was very different at night and she did not venture past the door of his office. Which meant they had not talked again.
For perhaps the hundredth time she replayed their conversation over dinner. She still didn’t understand what had upset him so. Was it because she’d asked about his secrets?
Emily twisted her hair up into a loose knot and secured it at the nape of her neck. She thought about fashioning some curls but didn’t bother. She had a feeling that Lucas wouldn’t notice anything about her today.
Did the man have secrets? She’d only been guessing, trying to figure out what would have kept him from marrying. Despite his claims to the contrary, he was a good husband. He seemed to enjoy her company; they got along well. So why would he so resist an institution designed to bring him happiness and children? What man wouldn’t want both?
But Lucas didn’t. Or he wouldn’t let himself. Or there was a dark, mysterious secret from his past that haunted him. Was that the problem? Had she innocently touched an open wound?
She finished with her hair and reminded herself that no answers would be found in her room. If she wanted to know the truth, she needed to speak with her husband directly.
But it was midafternoon before she could confront Lucas. He’d been gone all morning. Perry had claimed he had business at several establishments in town, but Emily hadn’t been so sure. Was Lucas avoiding her? He’d done it before, although not by going to all the trouble to leave the saloon. Then after lunch the rain had stopped and she’d made her way to the mercantile to buy paint.
By two she’d made her choices and had returned to the building housing both her business and her husband’s. She hesitated before climbing the stairs leading to the second floor, then made her way into his office instead.
He was sitting behind his desk. When he looked up and saw her standing in front of him, something dark crossed his face. She couldn’t read his expression, nor did she know what he was thinking, but deep inside, she knew he’d been avoiding her.
Sadness, disappointment and a bit of anger blended inside her, churning until she spoke without thinking.
“You may sulk if you wish,” she announced. “It has stopped raining and I’m going up the mountain to check on Molly.”
She turned on her heel and started to leave.
“Hold it right there, Emily,” Lucas growled.
She froze. Not because of his instruction, but because he called her by name. Emily, not Em.
He rose and came around to stand in front of her. For the first time since they’d met, he seemed to loom above her—a powerful man capable of taking what he wanted by brute strength.
“Sulking?” He glared at her. “You think I’m sulking?”
She might not know much about the intimacies of a marriage, but she easily recognized when a man was trying to intimidate her. She raised her chin and squared her shoulders.
“Yes. You’re acting like a small boy who hasn’t gotten his way. You stalked away from our evening meal without a single word of explanation. You’ve also avoided me today. If you are upset about something, why can’t you simply tell me?”
“I’m not upset. I don’t get upset.” He spoke through gritted teeth.
Emily didn’t know how to respond. For the first time in her life, she could understand the appeal of punching someone. Were she a man, she would do that to Lucas right now. The thought of sending him flying across the room and landing on the floor, a surprised expression on his face, gave her great pleasure.
She shrugged. “There is obviously something wrong with you, but if you do not wish to discuss it, I can’t force you to do so. However, I wanted to let you know that I’m leaving.”
He glared at her. “It’s going to rain.”
“It rained all night. The skies are clear now. Do not worry yourself on my account. Or if I am wrong and I do get caught in a shower, console yourself with the fact that I may catch a chill and die, thereby relieving you of the trouble of annulling a marriage you obviously do not want.”
Lucas reached for her arms. She had no idea if he was going to pull her into his embrace or shake her. But his fingers never touched her. Instead he stiffened then dropped his hands to his side.
“You don’t know the way,” he said at last. “I’ll take you.”
“That’s not necessary. I am perfectly capable of renting a wagon or a buggy on my own.”
“I know.” He sighed then gently took her arm and propelled her out of the room. “I know I’m going to regret this, but I’m coming with you. But I have to tell you that if it starts to rain, I’m going to be damn annoyed.”
“It seems to me you are anyway,” she said with a sniff.
He grumbled something under his breath. She didn’t catch the words and decided that it was better not to ask. She was willing to put up with a lot of things from Lucas, but she found she disliked being ignored. She vowed to never let him treat her like that again. The next time he walked out on her, she would go after him and demand the satisfaction of finishing the conversation.
They were halfway up the mountain when the heavens opened. Rain poured onto them as if God had dumped a large bucket on their heads. Lucas kept hold of the wagon’s reins. He didn’t say a word to Emily.
But she must have heard what he was thinking because she turned to face him. “This isn’t my fault.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
“You’re thinking it.”
He glared at her. “You don’t know what I’m thinking.”
Rain dampened her face and dripped off the brim of her hat. It looked as if she were crying. Lucas’s gut tightened at the thought. He knew he could bear anything except Emily’s tears.
To avoid looking at her face, he made the mistake of lowering his gaze. A groan caught in his throat as he took in the way her wet dress clung to her, outlining every inch of her.
Despite the cold drenching, he found himself heating from the inside as blood rushed south and he became aroused. Damn. Why hadn’t he just stayed at the saloon? Why hadn’t he let her head off on her own? Except he knew he couldn’t have done that. Which made no sense, because he’d let Molly go up the mountain on her own the previous day.
“I’m sorry,” he told her as he forced himself
to face forward.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Of course she didn’t. He didn’t even know why he’d apologized. Something was wrong with him. He knew he’d been acting different ever since he got married. He was both avoiding her and compelled to be with her. Which didn’t make sense. He hated her questions, but he hated the pain in her eyes even more.
She wanted to know about his secrets. She wanted to know why he’d walked away from her last night. What was he supposed to say? That if she knew the truth, she would despise him? That he could read her thoughts and knew that she’d become fond of him? That her feelings scared him to death because he knew exactly who and what he was—and she would never understand?
They rounded a bend in the muddy road. Lucas pulled on the reins as he stared ahead at the swollen stream.
“What is that?” Emily asked, pointing at the now raging river that lapped at the edge of the bank.
“Spring runoff always makes the waters rise. Because of the storm, the road’s flooded.”
“You mean we can’t get up to your brother’s cabin?”
Lucas shook his head. “Until the waters go down, there’s no telling if we would make it across. We can’t risk it.”
She stared into the forest ahead. “How do we know if Molly is all right?”
“She would have made it up the mountain before it started raining. We’re less than a mile from the cabin. We didn’t pass her on the road, so if she got this far, she would have found her way there.”
“I hope so.”
Beside him, Emily shivered. She pulled a shawl over her shoulders, but the dripping length of wool wouldn’t do much to warm her.
Lucas urged the horse forward, then turned the animal in a slow circle. “We need to get back to town,” he said unnecessarily. “We’re going to freeze out here in the rain.”
Emily nodded but didn’t speak. He could see she was shivering. He swore under his breath. This was not turning out to be his day. As soon as they got back and were warm, he and Emily were going to talk. He was going to have to explain to her how things were between them. Theirs was still a marriage of convenience. That’s all he’d ever wanted and nothing had changed. He would be sorry if that reminder hurt her feelings, but better she remember the truth now than later.
Shotgun Grooms Page 10
