“I started shaking. I planned on spending the rest of my life with you. We bought the couch, and I don’t know what the hell happened after that. How did I wind up here? I’m going to be a dad. I’m not ready for that. Nika wants to buy every kind of designer baby shit they make. Infant Nikes for fifty dollars? When the kid can’t even walk? What the hell is wrong with her? I can’t handle it.”
Emily could almost picture Greg on the other end, wiping the sweat off his wide forehead. She had a road map as to how they’d wound up here, but she didn’t think Greg wanted to hear it.
“Listen, I can tell you really love her. You’re just getting cold feet.” This was generous of Emily, and she knew it, but she didn’t love Greg anymore. She no longer wished he’d drop dead of a heart attack, choke on a peach pit or fall down an elevator shaft. He could just get on with his life and leave her out of it.
“That’s it! I had cold feet with you. And if I’d had someone like you to talk me through it, I wouldn’t have—”
“Wound up on the kitchen floor with Nika?” Funny, the image didn’t make her cringe anymore. Actually, the entire thing was a little embarrassing for Greg and Nika. Nobody could look attractive in that...position.
“We’d be married by now, maybe with a little one on the way. Like we planned.”
Thank God for clean kitchen floors then. “You do have a little one on the way.”
Greg sighed. “But it was supposed to be with you, not Nika.”
Poor Greg. What a sap. A realization hit her square between the eyes. “You would have walked out on me, too, wouldn’t you?”
“No! If not for Nika, I know we would have worked it out.”
“Maybe,” Emily said. “But I don’t think so. You want to know what your problem is?”
“I’m still in love with you?”
“You’re a commitment-phobe masquerading as the marrying kind. That’s because you’re too chickenshit to tell women the truth.” At least Stone had been honest with her.
“No, no, that’s not it. It’s you. You’re the woman for me.”
“You’re too late.”
“No, it can’t be too late. It’s never too late. I’m not married yet. You’re not married.”
“But I’m in love with someone else.” Wait. Had she just said those words out loud? No problem, because she didn’t mean them. Did she?
Don’t think, don’t worry. Just stay in the moment.
Maybe this was love. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Couldn’t stop feeling slightly sick to her stomach. Either she was in love or fighting a virus.
Greg groaned. “Are you kidding me? Are you telling me there’s no chance for us?”
Funny how puzzled he sounded. As if she’d been standing by waiting for him to make up his mind that he’d made a mistake. “Go talk to Nika. Work it out. It’s time to stop running. Pull up your Pampers and deal with it.”
“You’re the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known,” Greg said with a whimper. “And I blew it.”
“And that’s the perfect way to end this call. Goodbye, Greg. Have a nice life. Don’t call me again.” She clicked off, feeling a sense of finality course through her body. Closure. The last time she’d ever hear from Greg.
She breathed a sigh of relief and went to start dinner.
* * *
STONE HAMMERED THE last nail into the hardwood floor repair and stood back. Another room he could call complete. The for-sale sign had gone up, and a few buyers had come by. Not a whole hell of a lot of interest, though. Or offers. The Realtor had suggested some improvements to attract more buyers. Curbside appeal. Light and bright. Stone was trying like hell to sell a house he wasn’t sure he wanted to let go.
But he had to. Sarah had come by to offer her own litany of suggestions. If it was up to her, apparently, the entire house would be gutted and they’d start over from scratch. While there was something to be said for that and starting over, time was running out. He’d been accepted back into the air force sooner than he could have hoped. His orders would come through any day, and he’d either have to accept or have a week to leave the air force. This time permanently.
Dad would understand. He’d always been proud of Stone’s service. The air force had been his life since he’d been eighteen. So why did the whole idea of going back now feel like such a betrayal? He thought he’d fixed everything, and there was nothing left to do in this town.
As nighttime fell, he showered and climbed in his truck for a little drive-by recon. He drove by the Silver Saddle and didn’t see Emily’s truck.
Might be a good time to check out her new place. Convenient that she’d left her new address with Cassie.
He drove around the neighborhood, in full-on investigative mode. While all of Fortune was decidedly smack dab in the middle of Suburbia, USA, there were some less than desirable pockets of areas, too. As he pulled up to Emily’s place, he was relieved to see her duplex was not in one of them.
The place was painted blue, with little pink and red flowers lining an outside window box. There was a small shared lawn in front, and through the window he saw movement inside the house. For a moment, he sat in the truck and watched. Waited for the logic to hit him. The moment when he’d turn around and go back home. He was supposed to be the one who excelled at detachment. Distance. If he’d caught anyone else in this position, he might use the word stalker and haul him out of the vehicle by the scruff of his neck. Tell him to stay the hell away from her.
What the hell was he doing? Sitting here, not working too well with the whole detachment thing. It occurred to him, for the first time since he’d landed here, he might be lonely. He wasn’t one given to a lot of introspection, but facts were facts. He hadn’t smiled since Dad’s death. Until Emily. He’d gotten himself emotionally attached, dammit, and that might be a big problem because he was pretty certain she felt the same way.
Which made them both a couple of fools.
The front door opened and Emily followed her little dog outside. “Hurry up, Pookie. It’s grass. You don’t have to inspect it.” Then she noticed him, sitting in his truck. Busted. She smiled, which didn’t help the situation.
He got out of the truck, grabbing some paperwork. “I brought by some stuff you’ll have to fill out for your pilot’s license.”
“Oh.” Her smile fell. “Since you’re here, do you want to come in?”
“Yeah.” Sure he wanted to come in. Maybe what he needed was one more time to get her out of his system. Move on. Maybe it was what they both needed.
Emily picked up her dog and took the papers from Stone. She walked back inside, and he followed.
Stone was nearly assaulted by all the color. The room was a far cry from the countrified yellow rooster loft she’d lived in before. This fit her a lot better.
She turned to him. “What do you think?”
“You sure you have all the colors in here? I think you might have missed one or two.”
Her smile was the brightest he’d seen it yet. “I decorated it all on my own. I never thought I would have this much color. But it feels good. Right.”
This time there was no bed in the middle of the room beckoning, but that didn’t mean he was thinking about it any less. “It’s a safe neighborhood. I checked.”
Her eyebrow quirked up. “Okay. Thanks for checking.”
She flitted around the room, closing windows and drapes. Trying to keep busy, like she didn’t know what to do with him. Again, it had become difficult not to smile. They’d already been so intimate he knew that her eyes darkened when she came, and still she was shy around him.
“Do you want something to drink? Eat?”
She finally walked close enough by him that he was able to grab her wrist and spin her into his arms. “Yeah. You. I want you.”
He
wanted his hands on her, everywhere, teasing and coaxing her to let go. To give in to him, to stop thinking and planning. To let go.
Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer still, and he felt her smile against his lips before he kissed her. Again and again. “But my kitchen table isn’t sturdy enough.”
She led him toward her bedroom between long and deep kisses, twisting and turning, both of them in such a hurry they nearly knocked her dog into next week.
“Oops. Sorry, Pookie,” she said.
The smart dog scurried off and once inside her bedroom, Stone shut the door with his back.
He pulled back to look at her and met eyes so raw and hot with passion he felt it down to the soles of his boots. “Look what you do to me.”
Her palms slid up his chest and back down to the waistband of his jeans. He kissed her, and she returned hot openmouthed kisses that sent him into sensory overload. The kisses turned wilder, bolder, and she ripped off his shirt, buttons flying.
“Not so shy anymore, are you?” He felt a smile coming on.
Then he took over, his open mouth sliding to the side of her neck and to every inch of exposed and tender skin as he bent lower. And lower still. He pulled down her dress and took her nipple in his mouth and she gasped, arching and pulling him closer. He got greedy then. A moan escaped her when he kissed her again, wet and warm kisses that he tugged him under, making him hazy with lust. One hand slipped under her dress, tugging roughly at her thong. He needed this. Here. Now. Her.
He pushed her lightly, and she fell back onto her bed. He followed her down, burying his face in the side of her neck. His breathing had become hard and raspy, and a deep groan vibrated in his chest.
“You have too many clothes on.” He resolved that in seconds flat, removing her thong and nudging her thighs open. “Mmm. Is this what you want? Do you like this?”
“Y-y-y-es. I’m so close. Stone.”
He didn’t need to hear any more.
She gasped and shuddered under him then became a little more demanding. “Please. Now—”
He enjoyed this new side of her. “Now what?” he teased.
“Get in me,” she said on a whisper.
“Don’t do that,” he said, his thumb brushing her bottom lip. It felt like she was forever hiding from him, holding on to some part of herself that she wouldn’t let him have. He didn’t know why that mattered so much and it worried him that it did.
“Don’t do what?”
“Get shy on me. Retreat.” He kissed her again, and tongues tangling, gave her some of her own sweet taste.
Lifting himself up, he rolled on a condom then pushed inside her like she wanted. He gave her a moment to adjust to him then moved with slow even strokes, forcing himself to take it slow even if it killed him. And it just might.
“Faster.” When she pressed a hand on his hips and met him thrust for thrust, urging him on, he was tempted to give her everything she wanted. And more.
“Not this time.”
He took his time, watching her writhe under him, clutching the sheets, clutching him. When she trembled and cried out his name, he swallowed her moans with a kiss and kept moving inside her.
“Say it,” he demanded, even as he realized he was about to ask for something crazy. But she did this to him, made him want more than he should have. Left him greedy for more. Always more.
“Say what?” she gasped.
“Say you’re mine.” He stared in her eyes, unflinching.
“I’m yours.”
He didn’t know if it was those words or her muscles clenching and milking him, but a groan ripped out of him as he came harder than he’d ever come before.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WHEN HE WOKE the next morning, Stone didn’t say the first words that popped came into his mind. I was wrong. He’d been so certain having sex would have lost some of the thrill of that crazy balls-to-the-wall first time. Wasn’t it always that way? It certainly had been that way for him in the past. Just not this time.
She was breathing softly next to him, her legs entangled with his.
“You okay?” He kissed her temple softly, surprised at the tenderness that stirred in him.
“No. Okay is not a big enough word for the way I feel.”
He agreed. This was new. Different. And while he would rather have his balls roasted over a flaming hot fire than cop to it, he was a little bit worried. Maybe even a tad bit scared. The difference between him and Emily was that he and fear were well acquainted. Over the years, they’d developed a kind of truce. They didn’t avoid each other. What was the damn point? Being an ever-present facet of his life meant he and fear would need to learn how to get along. And they had, for many years.
When he’d separated from the air force, he’d had a moment when he didn’t think he could idly stand by and watch his father wither away from the strong man he’d once known into a skeleton of a man. But he’d managed that. And every single day that he tried to somehow take his father’s place, there was that small fear that someone would find out he was a fraud.
And now he was forced to face the fact he was shit-faced crazy about this girl. This made leaving a real problem. One for which he had no viable solution, because he had to go back.
He’d be receiving his orders any day now, and she wasn’t even aware he’d been accepted back. He had to tell her soon. But all he wanted was a few more minutes. A few more minutes to pretend that nothing else mattered but right here and right now with her. A few more minutes before maybe she’d start to see him like every other woman he’d left behind had. Because it mattered what Emily thought of him. It mattered too much.
“You know what I was thinking? Our first date was at a man cave.”
“I should have done better than that.” He kissed her shoulder. “In a way, though, you met my family that day.”
“It was perfect. I love feeling like I’m one of the guys.” She propped her chin on his chest.
“You could never be one of the guys, babe. I don’t sleep with the guys.” He let his hand dive under the covers, exploring. She shivered and the expression in her eyes grew soft.
“You know what I mean. Have you ever made love to another pilot before?”
What a dangerous question. Women. And what if his answer had been yes? As it so happened, he wouldn’t be lying to say no. He wasn’t even sure he’d ever made love before. Great sex? Yeah. But again, this was different.
“You’re my first.” Under the sheet, he tweaked her nipple. It hardened to a solid peak.
“Would you please stop doing that?” She put her hand over his, stopping the under-the-sheets play. “It makes it hard to concentrate.”
“So it’s working.” He went for her neck, licking and nibbling.
She laughed, but then she moved and gave him better access. “Stone?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been kind of avoiding getting my license.”
He stopped kissing and went up on one elbow. “I knew it. Why?”
She sat up, pulling the covers up to her neck. “I don’t know. It just feels like—the end of something.”
“It’s not. It’s the beginning.”
“Doesn’t feel that way. When I get my license, I guess I won’t need you anymore.”
“That’s the idea.”
“Aw, but I’ll miss you sitting next to me pretending you don’t give a shit.”
She had him dialed, didn’t she? “And I’ll miss you sitting next to me, inappropriately saluting me.”
She smiled shyly, and something tugged in his heart. “You’re going to miss me, airman. Admit it.”
She had no idea how much. He drew her back into his arms where it felt like she belonged. Careful with that line of thinking. Look where it had him s
o far. In her bed going against every standard he’d set up. He was supposed to be better than this. Stronger.
“You’re a genius, babe. A damn genius.”
* * *
EMILY DIDN’T WANT any of this to end. This whole setup, her idea entirely, wasn’t working for her. She might as well have forgotten she had rules, for all the attention she’d paid to them lately. There wasn’t supposed to even be a second time. But it also wasn’t supposed to be this good. She wasn’t supposed to be having all these feelings, but there they were. She had a real problem, and its name was Stone Mcallister.
She still didn’t understand what made a man like him tick and why he cared so much when he still had plans to walk away from it all.
“Seems like you’re forgetting this is what you wanted,” he finally said.
Okay, busted. She’d tried like hell to turn herself into some kind of wild woman overnight, but clearly she’d failed. She felt something for this man. A lot of somethings. This had all worked out completely different than what she’d planned.
“I suck at letting go and finding my inner bad girl.”
“I was talking about your pilot’s license.”
“Oh, sure.” She tried to recover. “That’s what I meant, too.”
“Yeah.” He tugged on a lock of her hair. “For the record, the reason you can’t find your inner bad girl is because she isn’t in there.”
Dang, she hated it when he was right. “Does that make you happy?”
He studied her. “My happiness isn’t the issue.”
“Why not?”
And just like that, he shut down. His eyes hooded and whatever she thought she’d seen in them before—love, tenderness, affection—was gone now. He was back to steel and sharp edges. Emily couldn’t get past the thought that Stone had a guilt riding him that wouldn’t let go. She only wished he’d think to share a small piece of it with her.
He pulled back, ignoring the question. “I should probably go. I’ve already outstayed my welcome.”
Right. She’d put that rule in place for a reason. Even if it had boomeranged on her.
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