by Alexie Aaron
“Do you want it available to the other tenants?” I asked him.
“No. Does that sound selfish?”
“I think that we would lose our privacy. I like it that our elevator only accesses our lofts and the roof.”
“I didn’t get a ‘need for privacy’ vibe out of you,” Austin commented.
“In my line of work, I get a lot of cops dropping in. I would like some control.”
He laughed.
“Otherwise, you and yours are welcome to walk in anytime. If Harry has a date, I’ll be on the roof.”
“You two have an interesting rapport.”
“Interesting is a good word for it.”
“Cin, would you like to see my paintings?”
“I’m dying to,” I admitted.
He smiled. I followed him down, and he led me through the elevator to his side of the building. I loved the open space. He had a third of the top floor while Harry and I had two thirds of it. He had taken advantage of the open floor plan and had easels of all sizes full of projects. There were sheets hanging from crisscrossing clotheslines, making individual workspaces. It was a maze in there. Austin had a large painting in the middle that he was working on.
“Whoa. Will that fit in the elevator?”
“When it’s dry. I’ll take it off the temporary stretchers and roll it up.”
“That is so cool,” I said, meaning it.
His paintings all had amazing texture and color. I know nothing of art, so I wasn’t quite sure what medium he was painting with. All I knew was that I loved it. There was a variety of subjects, everything from landscapes to portraits. A lot of the paintings seemed to have a story attached. You just needed to open up your mind and imagine. I walked over and looked at one painting, and I backed up right into him.
His strong hands steadied me.
“That looks like…”
“You. It’s an overseas commission.”
My eyes watered. “Who?”
“An M. D’Amore. Is he the one that dumped you?”
“It’s complicated,” I said. I worried about which M. D’Amore had commissioned the picture.
“He sent me all these pictures. He wanted me to get a feeling of the subject from them. I was surprised when I saw they were of you. The D’Amores used to own this building. I put one and one together and got three. I started on the painting, but I thought you should know about it, though I didn’t know exactly how to get you in here to see it.”
“With me, Austin. It’s best to be open and honest. I’m here now.”
“There’s something off. It’s not you,” he said, frowning at the canvas.
“Your technique is great, but the subject lacks soul. But it’s not your fault. These pictures were taken when I was most broken,” I said.
“Do you mind?” Austin asked as he walked over and raised a camera. “Come into the light. Okay, just keep talking to me, and look at the camera. Let me ask a few questions.”
“K.”
“What is the most extraordinary thing to happen to you?”
“Extraordinary thing good or bad?”
“Bad.”
“This,” I said and raised my top so he could see the most recent scar. I felt at ease and decided to take my top all the way off. I stood there in my bra and let Austin take pictures of the scar. “I died. And then, the extraordinarily good thing was me coming back to life. Marco D’Amore helped. And then he died. Now, I’m here, starting over. This time, it’s the way I want to live. It’s my choice.”
Austin lowered the camera. He nodded. “Turn to your left.”
“Are you sure? My hair is wretched on this side.”
“Why?” he asked, continuing to take pictures.
“Someone I trusted cut some off with a knife.”
“Turn to your happy side,” he directed.
I did.
“Cin, you need to cut it all off real short. Your hair is weighing you down. I didn’t know you had such strong shoulders and a beautiful neck because of all your hair. Cut it to an inch or two. Let it curl tight to your head, like those beautiful black models.”
“I would lose the diva look. I’m forty and change. Can I pull it off?”
“I thought you were younger. I’m fifty.”
“No way.”
“Way.”
“Let me do it. Right now,” he said. “I have the pictures of it long for D’Amore’s painting. Come on. Trust me. I used to be a dog groomer.”
I started laughing. “Maybe I should…”
He had a scissors and an electric shaver in his hand. I started to have second thoughts.
“I always thought that I needed big hair to pull off my big butt,” I explained.
“Sit. If you hate it, I’ll give you that big painting.”
“What’s it worth?”
“A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”
I stuck out my hand, and he shook it.
I can’t really explain what happened to me as the long curls fell away from my head. As each curl was cut, unlike Samson, I got stronger. Austin turned on the shaver, and the noise lulled me into a fugue state. I swear that I saw the gypsy walk out of me. She looked Spanish, Bizet’s creature come to life. Carmen turned and gave me a wicked smile before disappearing into the ray of sunlight coming in from the roof.
Austin looked at me and smiled. He picked up his camera and took a lot of pictures. I had yet to see the result. I think I was afraid to. I left the loft with my curls in a black garbage bag Austin gave me.
~
Back at the house in the village, Harry looked at me open-mouthed. He angled his head, and he smiled. “I love it. It’s you, but a happy you.”
“That’s what my hairdresser said.”
I held up my hair in the garbage bag. “I thought maybe someone could make it into a wig.”
“I’ll drop it off at a place to donate it. Let it go, Cin,” he said, yanking the bag out of my hands.
“No more diva, no more Bella. It’s so freeing,” I said and danced around.
Harry seemed to enjoy my antics. He waited until I slowed down to speak to me. “Good news, we’ll be able to move in two days. By the weekend, we will be unpacked and ready to get back to work. Speaking of, you have an opera board meeting next Monday.”
“I know. I’m worried,” I confessed.
“Victor is going to be there. He does pro bono work for the opera,” Harry said.
“Tony said that things probably would escalate when I step into that place,” I said, concerned.
“Cin, you also have to attend the opening night of Aida. You may want to warn your designer that your hair is drastically different.”
“Oh shit.” I closed my eyes and thought about the designs. “I think I’ll be okay. Damn, maybe I was too impulsive.”
“No, I love it. You kind of have a Joan of Arc thing going. It goes well with your new look.”
“I have a new look?”
“You’re thinner, more elf-like.”
“I’m pretty damn tall for an elf.”
“Lord of the Rings elf.”
“Okay, cool. Come on, we have to get ready for the movers. We have to dot the boxes green for the loft and red for storage.”
~
“I can work with this,” Celia said. “You went as far away from Bella as you could get.”
“I didn’t realize. Someone said that my neck and shoulders were getting hidden.”
“It makes you look so much younger. Mama, how old does she look to you?”
“Thirty-two.”
I ran over and kissed her on both cheeks. The dour woman laughed.
“Celia, can you recommend something to wear to the board meeting?”
She studied me and nodded. “You’re now angular, so dress in pants, an artsy tee and a blazer. She motioned a hat with her hands. “No, let me draw it.” She sketched the outfit I would need. “Expensive pants, black, band tee, and a textured blazer, no, a motorcycle jacket! A r
eal one. Go to a Harley store. Motorcycle boots too.”
I pondered whether or not I had blown her mind, but she seemed excited to be designing for the new me.
Harry was meeting with Tony, so I was at a loss as to where to go to find the things on Celia’s list. I called the sheriff’s department and asked for Sally Jones.
“Cin!” she answered. “Long time no hear.”
“I wonder, could I ask your advice?’
“You’re asking for my advice? Well damn, go ahead,” she said.
I told her about my new haircut and Celia’s thoughts on what I should wear to the board meeting. “The thing is, I haven’t a clue where to get this stuff.”
Sally seemed excited when she heard what I had in mind. She said, “I get off at three. Dave’s got a thing. I think we need to go to Miami.”
“I’ll pick you up.”
Pleased that Sally was coming with me, I sang loudly as I drove over in Harry’s old jeep. I didn’t miss the stares I got from BMW. The jeep seemed to fit me better, or at least, it would until I figured out what I wanted to drive. I arrived a bit early, so I pulled the vehicle into a visitor’s spot and parked. I got out and leaned against the jeep and waited as I looked through my phone.
Dave walked out of the building. I put my sunglasses on and didn’t say a word. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize me. He walked past and nodded. I exhaled. He backed up and looked at me. I looked away. I heard him step closer. I turned and looked at him. He lifted my sunglasses and stepped backwards. “Cin?”
“Hello, Dave.”
“You look so different. So young. What happened to your beautiful hair?”
“I donated it.”
“Sally said you were moving.”
“We’re mostly moved in. We’re going to have a party once we’re settled.”
“I miss you, Cin.”
I didn’t say anything.
“You didn’t answer my messages.”
“They were rude.”
“I guess they were.”
“How is your daughter doing?” I asked to change the subject from us.
“She’s past the barfing stage.”
“I’m glad.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for Sally. We’re going shopping.”
“Oh.”
“Did you think I was waiting for you?” I asked, smirking.
“Yes.”
“Get over yourself.”
I saw Sally and waved. She touched the top of her head and danced around. I smiled. “Well, there’s Sally. Have a good evening, Dave.”
He reached forward and pulled at the necklace at my throat.
“It’s not yours,” I said, slapping his hand away.
It wasn’t his. It was the mourning locket. It was all I wore now.
He looked at it and shook his head. “You have to let him go, Cin.”
“I’m getting there. It’s a little hard when I’m managing his businesses and setting up a charity in his name.”
Sally walked up. I pushed past Dave and got in the jeep.
“Where is your car?” he asked.
“I sold it to Harry for a dollar,” I said and put on my sunglasses.
I started the jeep and looked at him. “Goodbye, Buslowski.”
I drove off, and Sally looked behind us. “He’s still standing there watching. You did a number on him, Cin. Good girl.”
I turned into traffic, and we headed to the expressway.
“Your hair is a riot. So different, yet you. Goodbye, sex kitten. Hello, tomcat!”
~
I walked into the lobby and searched for Victor. I had warned him that I looked different, but he reared back before he broke out into a big smile. “You can’t hide it anymore with all that hair.”
“Hide what?”
“Your beautiful face and neck.”
“Thank you, Victor. I’m a bit nervous.”
“Remember, for this meeting, we are going to present you as Marco’s replacement. Just listen in this first meeting, unless they are way off track. In the next few meetings, you’re going to bring up Marco’s vision.”
“Yes, Victor.”
He reached forward and took the locket in his hand. “Nice touch.” He looked at his watch. “Time to go in.”
He walked in first, and I followed on his heels. The large room was decorated in south Florida pastels. A large table dominated the space with leather office chairs spaced at comfortable intervals. The sideboard was set up with a coffee service. People stood in small groups talking. After Victor presented me, the elder board members welcomed me. Preston looked green. A few of the younger members gave me the cold shoulder. Ryan hopped out of his seat and took my hands. “You look wonderful. Sit by me.”
I followed him, sat down, and looked over at Victor. He was smiling.
The meeting for the most part was boring, and then the subject of a new conductor came up. They couldn’t help looking at me. I said, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t kill him.”
Victor laughed, and Ryan patted me on the back. Preston shot me a look of contempt. All in all, it was a good meeting.
Afterwards, Ryan drew me away. “Come, let’s get out of here.”
I stopped to tell Victor goodbye before I left with Ryan.
Ryan talked nonstop about how he had taken on three more groups. “Are you playing?” he asked.
“I’m up on wheels. My hand was crushed. It will be a while before I’ll be back,” I said.
We drank espressos and shared a dessert in an outdoor café at City Place. Later, we decided to look in the windows of the expensive shops. I stopped at a candy shop. “Do you mind if I go in?”
“No, please. I’ll wait here.”
I purchased a ton of sweets I thought would bribe Harry with before meeting Ryan back at the bench.
“You bounce when you walk,” he said.
I hugged my breasts.
Ryan roared with laughter. “No, you silly creature, you have a bounce to your step.”
“It’s all that hair gone. It was weighing me down.” I opened up my bag. “Want some?”
He took a piece of fudge. “Oh, I haven’t had fudge in years. I’m always too fat.”
“No you’re not,” I said. “I think you look nice. I’m sorry, Ryan. I was a royal bitch to you.”
“I think I deserved that. I can get kind of pushy. Being a manager and an agent, I have to be.”
“You’re just saying that to be kind. I appreciate your support of Max at the memorial. I think you managed to sway the crowd.”
“Cin, he deserved it. I hope it helped.”
“I don’t know.” Trying to change the subject, I said, “I’ve been busy moving house. I don’t know if you were aware that Leora, along with someone else, trashed my bedroom and cut up my opera dress. They defaced my wall with a warning, put a cardboard cutout of Kyle in my bed, and covered it with blood. So I decided it was time to move.”
“That had to be frightening. She should have taken her problems to you personally, but I have noticed that you intimidate women, Cin. Your confidence is overwhelming at times.”
“That’s an honest observation,” I said. “It’s a nice way of saying…”
“Okay, you’re a bitch,” Ryan filled in.
I laughed so hard that people stopped and looked at me.
Ryan handed me his handkerchief to wipe my eyes. “Are you coming to the opening night?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Alone?” he asked.
“Yes, I think so, unless one of Marco’s family is in town. The box is mine and theirs. It’s really screwy. I can’t bring a date until Marco’s been in the ground six months,” I said.
“But you can date?”
“Oh yes. But I’m still not feeling up to it. I’m getting there though. Would you like to come to Harry’s and my open house?”
“Yes I would.”
“Give me a card, and I’ll send an invitation. Plus o
ne?”
“Single.”
“I’ll get an invitation to you.” Looking at the clock on the exterior of the toy store, I said, “I have to get back. Where can I drop you?”
“Back at the opera house. My car is there.”
“Cool.”
I dropped him off. Picking up my phone, I immediately called Victor’s cell. “I’ve got one vote.”
“Cin, you’re evil.”
“No, just a bad woman.”
Victor laughed. “You’ve picked up some bad habits, but underneath, I know who you are.”
“A shrewd business woman?” I asked.
“No, but you’ll get there.”
I noticed that Victor was calling me Cin instead of Bella. Had he seen the change in me? Had I truly pushed the diva away? I prayed I had.
I walked into the loft and left our door open. This was Harry’s and my signal that Austin could drop in if he wanted to. I plopped down on the sectional and put my feet on the coffee table.
Harry walked through. “How was the meeting?”
“Boring. I brought you these.” I tossed the candy to Harry.
“They had fudge at the meeting? Or did you play hooky?”
“No. However, after the meeting, I did a little politicking. I made nice with Ryan Baker.”
“Look at you. You’re going to get that man’s hopes up.”
“I hope not. Any messages?”
“Austin wants you to drop over after five and take a look at the finished portrait before he ships it.”
“K. I’m going to take a nap. I’m tired.”
Harry rushed over and put his hand on my forehead.
“I’m just tired. The anxiety of being there wore me out.”
“Okay. I’ll wake you up at four-thirty if I don’t see you up before.”
“Why are you being so nice?” I asked, suspicious.
Harry looked sheepish. “Can Sally stay over?”
“Um, you don’t have to ask me that. I’m not your mom.”
“I don’t want you here, regardless of how you feel. You’re what is called a cooler.”
“How about I hang out upstairs until I see your suite light up, and then I’ll sneak in and go to my room? That way you can get your groove on or whatever you guys do.”
