by Anna Brooks
But instead of being able to talk, we watch another princess movie and Olivia passes out on the couch. Ryan carries her upstairs, and I go to my bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. Like I’m waiting for me to talk back and tell me what to do. Maybe I should ask him to stay…
I hear movement but don’t look over when he walks into the bathroom. He stands behind me, and I love how perfectly we fit together. Our eyes catch in the reflection, and before I can even think of something to say to him, he opens his mouth, “If you can’t see that I’m in love with you, then I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t want to push myself on you, but fuck, Opal, I don’t want to go. I’m just waiting for you to ask me to stay.”
“You’re wha… what?”
“I took on another assignment here willingly after the first one. Nobody made me do it. I stayed because I. Want. You. I want you, and I want your daughter. I never packed my shit. Never bought a damn airplane ticket. I lied, hopin’ if maybe you heard the words, you’d say something. I took on work just to have a shot at you because I know what you’ve gone through, and I wanted to give you time to trust me. I know now what you need, and at first I didn’t, but that was then. I signed a contract, dollface. Twelve months.” He runs his hands through his hair.
“You did? But what about your family?”
“I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. When I was walking down that street and before I recognized Liv, I saw you.” He links our fingers together, his eyes never leaving mine in the mirror. “I tried to leave. Three fucking times, I was on my way out, but everytime I got a foot out the door, I pulled it back because I can’t stand the thought of being away from you. My family loves me so they understand that my life is here with you and Olivia. You two are my family.”
I rub my chest, my heart swollen and so full I can barely take it.
“Do you know my nickname is Heartbreaker? Stupid asses I used to work with made it up. But not because of why you’d think. I was always picky with my women. I had no problem sayin’ no when I could tell all they wanted was dick. I’m not that kind of man, Opal. I’m known for turning away hot pieces of ass and breaking their hearts because of that. I thought I found a couple of good ones, but seeing them fuckin’ someone else in my own goddamn bed does shit to a man.”
I can’t believe someone would be stupid enough to cheat on him. He’s the perfect guy. Loyal, protective, sexy, funny, smart. “Ryan.”
“Then I find you. I find a woman who not only puts every single woman I’ve ever seen to shame, but she has a kid. A sweet, cute, funny kid who fills up a place in my heart I didn’t realize I’d closed off. I’d closed it off for years, gave up even trying, Opal, but I want a family. I want more kids. I want all that shit, but I’d given up finding a good woman until I wasn’t looking.”
My heart flutters, and I close my eyes, yet tears still fall out. “I didn’t know. You said you were leaving, and I didn’t want to get my heart broken again. I couldn’t handle that, Ryan. I couldn’t risk losing you. I… I didn’t know you were… I didn’t know!”
He smiles. “Now you do.” He runs his fingers up my arm until they reach my chin, then he pushes it up until I’m looking at him in the mirror. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I want you to stay,” I hurry to tell him. He needs to know I feel the same way he does. “But you have to promise me you’re not leaving. I can’t… I can’t fall even more in love with you than I already am and then lose you. I’m not strong enough for that.”
He turns me around and lifts me up onto the counter. With gentle hands and soft eyes, he tells me, “Baby doll, I’m never leaving you.”
And then I lose it. My breath hitches, and I pull him to me, crying into his chest. “That’s… that’s all… that’s—”
“Spit it out, baby.”
“That’s all I ever wanted you to say.” I pull back and wipe my face, knowing I have raccoon eyes, but not caring enough to do anything about it.
“And all it took was me suffering from a little bullet graze to realize how much you felt for me.”
“You got shot!”
He laughs. “It was a graze.”
“I was afraid to lose you.”
“I know you were. And I’m afraid to lose you, but livin’ without you isn’t an option. As long as you’ve got breath in you, baby doll, then you have me, and you won’t lose me.”
“CAN YOU TURN HERE?” OPAL points at the upcoming stop sign.
“Sure. Where do you want to go?”
“It’s up the street. Once you get about a mile down, there’s a sharp curve. Stop there.”
I put my blinker on and turn the corner, then drive in silence. It’s not long before I see the sign for the curve, and as soon as I do, I suck in a breath. “Baby…”
“I need to do this.”
I pull the truck to the side of the road, and since her side is by a ditch, I haul her over to me. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I just need a minute.”
Opening my door, I help her down and then lean on the hood. When she stops by the cross tied to a tree, I feel the burn in my throat. Same damn feeling when I saw that car tearing out of the parking lot over a year ago and thought she was gonna get hit. Same damn burn when I saw her tears for the first time, and the same feeling when she told me she was scared, and then again when I heard those motherfuckers in her house… just the thought of someone harming her guts me.
Never felt the burn more than when she told me about Olivia’s father, though, because I couldn’t do shit to make it better. All those other times, there was a solution. I pulled her into my arms, I dried her tears, and I made her safe—I did something about it. But being witness to her falling apart, reliving the pain of what she went through and now this; watching her collapse to the dirty, wet gravel and listening to her cry so hard she’s struggling to breathe. It doesn’t just burn, it’s acid, and it’s eating away at me.
There is one thing I can’t do for sure, though. And that’s stand by and do nothing. I push off my truck and go to her, sitting behind her and offering any strength I can. My arms around her shoulders, forearms resting on her collarbone, she turns her head and buries her face against my bicep.
“Get it out, Opal.” I put my lips by her ear, chin resting on her shoulder. “Let it all out.”
She’s never done this before, visited the sight of Josh’s crash. And as much as I hate her crying, much less over another man, I know she needs to do this. I kiss the top of her head and squeeze my eyelids together as her breath becomes even more unsteady.
I’ve never lost somebody like this, so I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if there is a right thing to do. My mom always told me that sometimes the best thing a man can do for a woman is nothing. Just sit and listen and be the arms that hold her.
So that’s what I do. She eventually stops crying, but after my arm is numb and my shirt wet with her tears, she doesn’t move. “You okay?” I ask.
“Yes. I just… I don’t want to let you go. I know how fast it can happen, and I’m just sitting here thinking of all the things I have to look forward to with you. I need to stop looking at the past. It shaped me, it marked me deep, but you fixed it… you fixed me.”
“You didn’t need me to fix anything, Opal.”
“Without you, I don’t think I would have ever moved on from it.”
She’s stronger than she gives herself credit for, but there’s no point in trying to argue with her. “What kind of stuff were you thinking about looking forward to with me?”
“Little things. Falling asleep on the couch together, going on double dates, taking Olivia to places where, when she walks between us, we can swing her.” She finally turns and though her face is puffy and her eyes red, there’s a light to her that’s never shone before. “Watching you hold our baby for the first time.”
My arms spasm, and I clear my throat. “What?”
“I wasn�
�t feeling well, and as soon as I was late, I knew.” She turns around and kneels in front of me. “I’m pregnant, Ryan. Only eight weeks, but I’m pregnant. And I’m terrified. And excited. And so, so happy that I can share this with you.”
“You’re pregnant?” It’s the only thing I can say. “For real?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
I feel my lips tilting up and pull her to me, hugging her tight and burying my face in her neck. “Holy shit, Opal. That’s freakin’ awesome.”
“You’re happy?”
“Hell yes, I’m happy. Everything about you makes me happy.” Nothing has felt more right than being with her and Olivia. The past four months we’ve been living together have been amazing and adding a baby will only make it perfect.
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, dollface.” I wipe the tears that fall from her eyes and say the one word that I tell her every day, “Forever.”
Want to read Jay and Livvie’s story, click here and continue reading for an excerpt.
Bulletproof Butterfly
“Jay.” Livvie slaps my stomach. “Stop it.”
Ignoring her, I continue, “And she was unable to answer her phone last night because—”
“Enough,” she snaps. “I’ll be right back, Paxton.” She puts both of her hands on my chest, shoves me back into the apartment, and then slams the door behind her. “Stop it. Right now.”
“Not gonna let another man stand there, right in front of my face, and spit lines at my woman.”
“He’s not.”
“You got a dick, baby? ’Cause I do, and I know the game he’s playing. I’m not going to be a participant in this shit. It ends, Livvie. Now.”
She shakes her head and points at me. “He’s my boss, Jay. He gave me a job when I needed it. You don’t need to be a dick to him just because yours is threatened.”
“Oh, my dick ain’t threatened, darlin’.” I grab my junk and saunter up to her. “What it is, though, is hard. So fuckin’ ready for you.”
I grab her waist, pulling her to me. My hands palm her ass, and I rub her against the object of our conversation. Her lips part on a quiet moan.
“Get rid of him, Livvie.” I slide my palm up her back and rest it just above her panty line and bring the other one up to the back of her head to fist her hair. She gasps and sways into me, right where she belongs. “If you don’t, I will.”
When she starts to protest, I take advantage and cover her mouth with mine. My tongue dominates, seeking the control I feel I lack right now. The fact that this guy thinks he has a claim to her amps me up in a way I know isn’t fair to her.
But if she cared, she’s certainly not acting like it right now because her fingers inch up my sides until they’re at my shoulder blades, and her nails sink into my flesh. I grab her by her ass again and back her into the door, lifting her up and pinning her there with my hips against hers.
She moans against my mouth, and I slide her core up and down, her pussy hot even through her yoga pants and my shorts. The heels of her bare feet dig into my lower back as she grinds herself against me. Her chest heaves, and she drops her arms, slamming them against the door and arching toward me as pleasure rips through her.
I’m evil enough that I pull my mouth from hers so when she calls out my name, I know he’ll hear it on the other side of the door. After a moment, her breathing evens out, her legs uncross and fall, and she glares at me.
I smirk back at her, not at all regretting what I just did.
Her hand comes at me, and I don’t stop it as her palm whips across my face. She pushes me, but I don’t budge. “You’re such an asshole.”
“An asshole who just proved his point.” I put my hand on the knob. “Get rid of him.”
Available now Bulletproof Butterfly
Meet Mellie and see Jay again in Fixing Fate, Smith and Mellie’s story.
A preview of Fixing Fate
“Mellie, Jesus, wake up.” He shakes me, and when I open my eyes, he’s above me, but not like before. Instead of being soft and sweet, he looks angry and scared. His eyes are frantic, and his hair is slightly wet, like he’s just taken a shower. Wait. He just came in here. Norman wasn’t here. Smith wasn’t here. Crap, I was dreaming.
“Shit.” I sit up, pushing my hair off my face. “Shit. Sorry.”
“Dammit.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Scared the shit outta me. You sure you’re all right? You need anything? Water?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m fine. Just embarrassed.” I haven’t had a nightmare in a few years. I thought they had gone away.
“Okay. Okay.” He stands, and I can’t help the gasp that flies out of my mouth, but this time, it’s because he’s in nothing but a towel, and I’ve never seen anything so hot in my life. Like back at the hotel, he’s underwear model beautiful, and I can’t stop looking.
The towel is so low on his hips, I can see the start of the trail of dark hairs down there. I sweep my eyes all the way up… past the muscles in his stomach, the piercings in his nipples, all the way to the sexy shadow adorning his face, and finally stop on his dark eyes.
Any thought of the nightmare is long gone. It used to take me all day to get rid of the terrifying dreams, but one look at Smith, and he makes them disappear. He’s a miracle worker.
His Adam’s apple moves down and then back up when he swallows. He clears his throat, and I shake my head. “I didn’t know you had piercings.” I point at his chest.
“I have another one.”
I suck in a breath, and he curses under his. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, Mellie.”
“Like what?”
“The same fuckin’ way I’m lookin’ at you. Like I wanna climb in that bed with you. Like I’m dying to feel and taste every single part of you. Like I want you to help me remember who the fuck I’m supposed to be.”
My breathing slows, but my heart still drums a rhythm so fast and loud I can hear it. “Who are you supposed to be?”
He takes a purposeful step toward me; he’s so close I can smell the bodywash he just used. Soap and man. All man. I lean closer to him as he reaches out and cups my face with his hand. “Yours.”
Available now Fixing Fate
It’s Kind Of Personal Series
Make Me Forget
Show Me How
Prove Me Right
Tell Me When
Remember Me Now
Give Me This
Pleasant Valley Series
Fixing Fate
Love, Me
Steady
Standalones
Not Your Hero
Easy Sacrifice
Bulletproof Butterfly
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Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of my beta readers! This book wouldn’t be what it is without you!
To Melissa for the absolutely beautiful cover, Jenny for being the best editor, Kim for your amazing eye, Stacey for the stellar job you always do, and Emily for everything you do. Love you all!
Anna began writing when she thought the world would want to hear her sick lyrics through song. Since then, she’s realized her childhood dream wasn’t so far-fetched, just misguided. Now she writes romance with real emotions and happy endings. If Anna isn’t writing or reading, she can be found by a space heater drinking a ridiculous amount of Diet Dr. Pepper. She also likes to hang out with her husband and two boys. If it weren’t for them, she wouldn’t ever leave the house. Anna was born in Wisconsin but now lives in the Evergreen State.
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