by Jenn Hype
“Joe I really don’t want to go to the station.”
“Dammit, Stacy, you are going with me to the station!” He yelled, whipping around to give me a death glare. “You’re getting some pain meds in you and then I’m taking you to the station and you will file a damn report and you won’t argue with me about it. You may not want to face what happened Stacy, but if you filing a report can get these guys caught before they hurt someone else then it’s worth it.”
I winced, partially from pain and partially from the harshness of his words. He was right, I knew he was right. Filing the report wasn’t really the issue. I just didn’t want to see Chad. As if he could read my mind, Joe’s face softened and he sat down on the edge of my bed and put his hand on my ankle, rubbing in slow, soothing circles.
“I’ll go in first and make sure Chad isn’t in there if that’s why you don’t want to go. But tell me what happened, Stace. What went down between you and Chad?”
“I don’t…how did he even know I was there? He came storming in like he knew I would be there.”
“He followed me.”
“What!?” I yelled and jerked upright, immediately groaning as a searing pain sliced through my abdomen.
“We haven’t been on the best of terms. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would think it was your fault. We haven’t really talked other than work stuff when we’re on the job since that night you ran out of his house. He tried to reach me last night and I ignored him, so he came by my house. He wanted to find you and apologize, so when I wouldn’t answer he followed me.”
“Joe...you’re right. I do feel like it’s my fault. You shouldn’t punish him because of me. I appreciate it, really, but as much as I hate Chad, I don’t want to come between you two. He may be an asshole, but he needs you, and he’s one of your best friends. Why won’t you just talk to him? It’s not like you to shut people out.”
“Because I didn’t want to hear his shit. I’ve always known Chad was an asshole, but I never thought he would treat you the way he did. Whenever he’s tried to ask about you I changed the subject. I was hoping he would just let it go, let you go, if I never let him talk about it. At first I kept hoping he would change, especially once I saw you getting through to him, but instead he just proved over and over again that he was never going to change. At least that’s what I thought, last night at the club, seeing how upset he was…I’ve never seen him so worked up like that. So…lost. It just came out; I didn’t even think about what I was saying. I may have accidentally mumbled something about our bet, and he heard and sort of went off the deep end.”
“What!?” I shot up, then let out a long string of swear words. I seriously needed to quit moving around so quickly, I was in excruciating pain.
“It slipped! I was just talking out loud, I didn’t mean for him to hear anything. But when I realized what I’d said and he saw how panicked I got, he wouldn’t let it go. I tried to tell him it was nothing and it hadn’t been a game for a long time, if ever, but he didn’t believe me. Honestly, this whole time I thought it was more of a game for him than it was for you, but seeing the betrayal on his face when I mentioned that damn bet…I seriously screwed up, Stace, I’m sorry.”
“That explains why he was such an asshole to me when I called him...well that and because... never mind.”
“When did you call him?”
“At the club. I thought you’d left and I didn’t have my phone, so I asked to use the bar’s. I didn’t have anyone’s number so I called the station and asked Bill to put me through to you. When you didn’t answer they put me through to Chad, but when he answered he just said some really nasty shit to me and hung up.”
“I’m sorry, Stacy. I never left the club. I wouldn’t have left you there like that. I don’t know how you even slipped past me without me knowing. I went back to the bathroom to check on you, but when you weren’t in there, I panicked. That’s why I was in the parking lot. This is all my fault…” Joe hung his head and shoulders slumped. I ignored the pain radiating throughout my whole body and scooted my way down the bed to put my arm around him.
“It’s not your fault, Joe. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. Chad isn’t the only one at fault for everything. I did want to screw with him and I was too busy trying to figure out how I felt about him to come clean and just lay it on the line for him, so it makes sense that he flipped out like that.”
“He was mad before I told him, Stacy. Did something happen in the club between the two of you?”
I didn’t answer at first. I’d done crazier things than have sex in the middle of a packed dance floor, but I was ashamed about everything that led up to it. At some point during all the shit that’s transpired between me and Chad I had started to actually have feelings for him. I never should have let that happen between us, I should have listened to him when he wanted to talk. I’d messed everything up.
Even though every word that came out of my mouth made me feel like shit, I told Joe every detail of what had happened at the club. I had confided every detail to him about everything else and he was the only one who really knew what was going on with Chad and I didn’t want to start shutting him out now.
Joe’s fists clenched and his body tensed as I told him the story. Joe was your typical protector type, so if it came down to who he would blame, he would always blame Chad.
“Joe, please, I am just as much at fault for this as he is. We’ve both been assholes and should have just been real with each other from the beginning and none of this would have happened.”
“No, Stacy, don’t you dare take the blame for his behavior. Chad is fucked up but that doesn’t excuse his actions. He should have controlled himself better and insisted you guys talk. You are not some random whore he can screw in the middle of a club. You deserve better than that, and the fact that he has the nerve to even be mad about the bet or anything else is bullshit.”
“I know, you’re right, but I should have just told him how I felt a long time ago. Maybe if I would have come clean about how I was falling for him then he could have at least made a clean break instead of this game we keep playing.”
“I’m sorry to say it, Stacy, but that would have only made it worse.”
That made me jerk my head back in surprise. “Why would it have made it worse?”
“I told you, Chad has a shitty past and it’s not my place to tell you his story, just trust me on this. All of this is his fault, he should have manned up and found some self control.”
I wanted to keep asking for more information, but I sensed it wouldn’t do any good. Joe was loyal to a fault, he would never tell me something if it wasn’t his secret to tell, no matter how angry he was at Chad. So I let it go and made my way over to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Joe had to brush my hair for me because I was in too much pain to lift my arm that high. After helping me get dressed and make it down to his truck, he took me to the station.
He stood by my side the whole time, held my hand when I cried as I told the story of what happened, and I knew I’d never be able to repay Joe for all the ways he’d helped me in the short time we’d known each other.
Two hours later we were finally finished with the report and I was exhausted. Joe started to lead me out of the building but his supervisor stopped him. Joe sat me down in one of the chairs by the door, my pain meds were starting to wear off and I couldn’t stand for too long.
When Joe came back out about twenty minutes later his face was completely drained of all color and his fists were clenched.
“What’s wrong Joe?” I jumped up to go to him, but immediately fell back down in the chair because of the pain.
Joe stopped in front of me but never looked down at my face while speaking.
“Looks like I’ve been assigned a new partner.”
It took all the strength I had left not to break down and cry in the middle of the station. I had fucked things up for everyone and Joe didn’t deserve this. I hated myself and the guilt consumed m
e. I wanted to push Joe away; to tell him he’s better off without me. I knew now with Chad shutting him out, that he needed me. So instead of being selfish, I took him in my arms and let him walk me to his car. We’d get through this together.
When we got to my apartment Carrie was waiting inside for me. When she took in my beaten and bruised face she winced, but didn’t seem shocked. I looked over at Joe who smiled sheepishly.
“I called her this morning with your phone before you woke up. I knew you’d need some help but would be too stubborn to accept it.”
I wanted to glare at him and mouth off about not needing anyone, but the puppy dog look Joe was giving me just zapped the anger right out of me. He walked me over to the couch and said his goodbyes, then Carrie walked him out. They went into the hallway and closed the door so I couldn’t hear them.
A few minutes later Carrie came back in, avoiding eye contact with me.
“What was that about, Carrie?” She shrugged and started working her way around the kitchen, picking up, then getting something out of the freezer for my face when she saw me wince.
“We’re not talking about me. Not until you tell me what the hell happened.”
Chapter 23
Chad
I fucking hated my new partner. He was too old to be out in the field and I wondered why he hadn’t been put on desk duty yet. Our first day patrolling together, I swear to God, he fell asleep. I drove his ass around all over town while he napped. And once he was out, he was out. There were several times that I almost checked his pulse to see if he’d died, but then he’d start snoring. Yeah, he snored loud and a lot. I should have just dropped him off at the retirement community and picked him up at the end of the day.
Three weeks. Three fucking weeks being stuck with this guy. Three weeks of avoiding Joe every time he tried to talk to me when our paths crossed. Three weeks of spending every waking minute of every damn day trying not to think about Stacy. Three weeks of obsessing over the betrayal eating away at me.
It made sense, really. I’d finally gotten to the point where I considered Joe a friend and could admit that I had feelings for Stacy, then I find out they were fucking with me the whole time. Of course.
I hadn’t been to Petey’s or the gym in three weeks, not wanting to risk running into Joe or Stacy. My life was getting pretty lonely and I needed to either find new places to hang or just face them. Both options sounded exhausting.
So one day after a particularly annoying day with my new corpse of a partner, I said fuck it and went to the gym. I needed to pound out some anger and if I didn’t do it on the bag soon, it would end up being my new partner’s face.
I took a quick look around and didn’t see Joe, so I went to work wrapping my hands before I started in with the punches. I was out of shape, I’d waited too long to work out, so I was rusty at first. My muscles screamed at me and my hands ached, but I pushed through the pain and pretended the bag represented my life and beat the shit out of it.
I didn’t stop until there was blood running out of the tape wrapped around my knuckles and my lungs threatened to explode from lack of oxygen. I made my way over to the drinking fountain and spotted Joe out of the corner of my eye on one of the mats to the right. He had his arms wrapped around some blonde, showing her how to throw a punch. Typical Joe pick up technique.
For a second I considered going over and talking to him. I missed my friend, even if it made me feel like a pussy to admit it. I even took a step towards him, but then he pulled away from the blonde to give her room to try out the moves he’d just taught her and I froze in my tracks. It was Stacy.
I stood there frozen in place, trying to remember all the reasons I was pissed at her. She wore tiny running shorts, which could probably be considered underwear as opposed to workout clothes they were so small, and a tight fitted tank. Her skin was glistening from sweat and her arms and legs looked more toned than I remembered as if she had been working out since I’d last seen her.
I wanted to look away. I needed to find a way to make myself stop staring before one of them noticed me, but before I could, her body shifted slightly and I got a look at her face. It looked…bruised? What the fuck?
I moved closer to see if I was imagining it, but the closer I got the more I could make out the injuries to her face. Her cheek was slightly puffy and her face was covered in bruises that were starting to yellow, indicating it had been a while since she’d gotten them. There was a cut with stitches over her right eye and her lip was scabbed over in the corner like she had busted it. She punched the air and her shirt lifted a fraction and I could see the bruises snaking around her entire torso.
Without thinking I ran towards her and gripped her shoulders with my arms. When she flinched I let go and winced, hoping I hadn’t hurt her.
“Stacy, what happened to you? Were you in an accident?” I searched her eyes, my brow furrowed, my mouth turned down in a frown. Though her injuries looked mostly healed I could tell that however she had initially gotten them had to have been extremely painful. She looked shocked to see me, but then her face clouded over. Her eyes darted down to her wrist, where I had wrapped my fingers around without even knowing.
“Fuck you,” She growled as she yanked out of my grasp and stormed off. I started to follow her but Joe grabbed my arm, preventing me from running after her.
“Get off!” I yelled as I pulled away from him. I turned to go find Stacy but he pulled me back again. “Do you have a death wish, Joe?” I growled.
“Leave her alone, Chad. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“What, are you her fucking keeper? If she doesn’t want to talk to me then she can tell me herself.”
“I think her saying ‘fuck you’ and storming off was her way of telling you that.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not what I heard so she needs to try again.” Joe had moved in between me and the direction Stacy had walked off in, blocking my path to her. I started to shove past him, but Joe shoved me back as hard as he could. I stumbled one step, but recovered quickly. I was at least twice Joe’s size when it came to muscle mass. I was bulkier while Joe was lean.
I had to remind myself that beating the shit out of Joe right now wouldn’t make things any better. I wanted to be angry, but honestly, I was kind of impressed at his bravery. He knew I could easily take him but he pushed me anyway.
“Joe, I’m trying not to get really pissed off at you right now for getting in my way but you’re making it very difficult. So before you end up getting hurt, please move out of my way, or I’ll just move you myself.”
“Fuck you, Chad,” he spat out calmly. “Don’t threaten me like I’m the problem here. You can beat the shit out of me if you want because that’s what it’s going to take to get to Stacy. She doesn’t want to talk to you. Do you think kicking my ass is going to change that? If you really care about her then you’ll let her go.”
“You don’t know how I feel about her. Don’t act like you know anything about me.”
Joe laughed sarcastically and shook his head. “I do know you, Chad, that’s the problem. You’re your own worst enemy and if you don’t start taking the blame for your own shit then you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life.” I started to argue but Joe kept going. “You can avoid me, request a new partner, threaten to kick my ass and harass Stacy, but it won’t change anything. You really fucked up this time and forcing your way into her life isn’t going to fix anything. If you really want to make things right, then find a better way to do it. In my opinion, you don’t deserve her forgiveness, but that’s up to her. But I’ll be damned if I let you go after her when you’re still pissed and over reacting. She’s put up with enough of your shit and until you’re ready to treat her with the respect she deserves then you’ll have to go through me first.”
I wanted to be pissed. I wanted to punch Joe in his fucking face and tell him he was wrong and to mind his own business, but I couldn’t. He wasn’t wrong. As much as I hated to hear it, he was a
hundred percent right. I had no one to blame but myself and I couldn’t go after Stacy right now. I needed to get my own shit together before I tried to talk to her.
I tried to remind myself that I hated both of them, that they had fucked with me, but at that point it didn’t matter. I had missed Stacy. I’d missed both of them, and even if it had started out as a game, at some point it had become more. I was still angry, but running was the wrong thing to do. I should have stuck around and fought harder instead of hiding like a coward.
Joe stood in front of me, poised to attack if he needed to, but he wouldn’t get a fight out of me right then. I needed to figure out where my head was and talk to him when we were both calm. He needed to go after Stacy and make sure she was okay. I wanted to be the one to go after her and comfort her, but I was the one who had hurt her in the first place. I didn’t deserve to have her in my arms, to be the one kissing away all of her pain.
“Thanks for taking care of her, man,” was all I said as I walked away from Joe and headed to the locker room, not bothering to wait for a response. I didn’t know at what point I had completely derailed my own life, but I needed to find a way to get it back on track. Just ten minutes ago I was convinced I was totally done with Stacy, but seeing those bruises and knowing something bad had happened when I wasn’t around...it put into perspective just how badly I wanted her in my life.
Chapter 24
Stacy
Seeing Chad hurt more than having the shit kicked out of me in the parking lot of Grind. I’d spent three weeks recovering and doing everything I could to avoid thinking about him. Joe swore he hadn’t seen Chad at the gym and convinced me to go learn some self defense moves. As soon as I was able to move comfortably I had started running. It was seriously horrible at first, but Carrie and Joe took turns running with me and it was easier with someone encouraging me.
