by Jenn Hype
Chad rolled his eyes at me and continued to struggle with his tie in the mirror. I smacked his hand away and did it for him, earning a grunt from him.
The drive to the hearing was only about ten minutes but it felt like ten hours. Chad kept reaching over to squeeze my knee, trying to get my legs to quit bouncing, but I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, so as soon as he pulled his hand away I started bouncing again. I thought my nerves would add to his, but instead he found it humorous and laughed at me and shook his head.
Joe was already waiting for us at the city building where the hearing was taking place, but I had told everyone else not to come. If it went badly, I didn’t want Chad to have to face anyone. I knew he would need space.
Chad sat me down in a bench in the hallway and I watched as he and Joe entered the room together, while I had to sit there and helplessly wait.
A half an hour later I’d about worn the heels off of my shoes from pacing the ground. I was losing my mind waiting out in the hallway for the ridiculous bullshit behind the closed doors to come to an end. Finally, the double doors slowly started to open and I ran up to Joe to ask him how his deposition went, but the solemn look he was wearing did nothing to ease my anxiety.
“It’s bad, Stace. They want to make an example out of him. He’s sitting in there listening to them blame all of his dad’s sins on him. It’s horrible. I did what I could, but I don’t think it’s going to make a difference.” Joe looks completely defeated as he runs his hand over his face and looks down at the ground.
I didn’t even think. I didn’t have to. I was already moving towards the doors, practically running, but Joe grabbed my arm right when I reached for the handle.
“Stacy, no. You can’t go in there. It will only make things worse and you’ll end up getting arrested.”
“Shut up, Joe, I don’t care. I’m not going to stand out here and let the man I love’s life fall apart because he saved me. They can throw me in fucking jail, I don’t care.” I shrugged out of his hold and burst through the doors.
The room immediately went silent as all the heads turned to look at me.
Chapter 36
Chad
My captain was in the middle of giving his statement on my behalf when the doors flew open at the back of the room. Every officer in the place immediately turned to see what the commotion was, and of course, it was Stacy. To be honest, I’d expected to see her sooner. I knew my girl well, and she was not the type to sit on the sidelines while shit went down. I probably should have jumped up and tried to stop her, but the whole scene before she even bust through the doors was bullshit. There probably wasn’t much she could do to make it worse.
“Alright, you limp dick mother fuckers,” she said in a cool, collected voice, a complete contrast to the fury in her eyes. She was geared up for the battle of a lifetime and the men in the room with us had no idea what was in store for them. I tried really hard to control myself, covering my mouth to hide my smile, but a chuckle slipped out anyway. Luckily no one noticed. Everyone just sat stunned, frozen in place from the bizarre spectacle Stacy was making.
“I’m here to set you all straight so that Chad can get back to his job and you can all find better ways to spend your time instead of harassing honorable men like the one sitting over there,” Stacy said, pointing at me, but not looking my way. “Plus my feet are fucking killing me from pacing around the lobby for over an hour in these five inch stilettos. I know, I know, it’s not your fault I wore these killer shoes, but you can’t deny they make my legs look fabulous,” she said as she pointed the toe of her shoe, showing off her long legs. I couldn’t help but chuckle as several of the men actually leaned up out of their seats to get a better look at her.
Finally, one of the IA officers gained his bearings and stood to address Stacy. “Ma’am, I don’t know who you are but you can’t be in here. You need to leave right now before we have you arrested.” He squared his shoulders and it was practically hysterical when the shock of her response registered on his face.
“You want to know who the fuck I am? I’m the woman he saved from getting raped and killed, dumbass! Do you even know anything at all about what happened? Surely you’ve seen my picture in the reports. They took plenty at the hospital where I spent a week of my life being treated with some pretty sick injuries. Though you didn’t hear me complaining, because I was just thankful to be alive. You know WHY I’m alive? THAT man, right there!” Stacy yelled, pointing at me.
For the first time since entering the room Stacy glanced in my direction, and despite the anger still evident all over her, she managed to sneak a wink at me. Even when going bat shit crazy, she was still so goddamn adorable.
“Yes, of course, I know who you are. I was just caught off guard. I’m terribly sorry for what you endured, but you still can’t be here. This is an official and private matter.”
“Uh, yeah, I know. Don’t you think it would make sense though to have me here considering this whole crock of shit is happening due to something that involves me?” Stacy looked at the officer like he was the biggest idiot she’d ever encountered. He crumbled just a little bit under her glare, but quickly recomposed himself.
“I understand, but that is not how the law works, ma’am.”
“Fuck the law!” Stacy yelled, interrupting him. His patience was waning, but if Stacy was affected by his annoyance, she didn’t show it. “If the law means you’re going to strip a good man of his badge for saving my fucking life then the law is fucking stupid.” Suddenly Joe was at Stacy’s side. I thought he was going to try to remove her or calm her down, but all he did was stand next to her and stare straight ahead, his expression stoic. What the hell was he doing?
Another officer entered the room and tried to grab Stacy’s arm and pull her to the doors, but she shrugged out of his grasp and quickly moved away from him. She was only a few feet away from the people deciding my fate, and she turned back to face them. My girl may have been crazy, but no one could call her weak. She was the bravest person I knew.
“I’m not going to tell you how to do your jobs. I’m assuming you’ve been doing this long enough that if you’re too stupid now to see you’re ruining a man’s life for no reason, then nothing I say is going to help. So instead, let me explain what’s going to happen.” She paused to look each one of them in the eye, and a couple of them even flinched.
“I’m going to walk out of this room and I’m going to call every news station that will hear me out. And you know they will, because everyone likes a scandal. They will see my bruises and cuts and I’ll give them copies of my hospital records. I’ll tell them how Chad rescued me and saved my life, and how he got fucking punished for it. I’ll tell them how the city apparently condones violence against women. I’ll make sure they know that you would apparently prefer that I had been raped or killed than have some piece of shit criminal get his face bashed in. And I’m willing to bet that there are enough people out there who will agree with me when I say that the assholes who did this to me deserved a lot worse. They will join me as we unite against you. The higher ups will have to cower down to public opinion, because you know they can’t risk not getting re-elected. So what will happen? They’ll need someone to blame. And who is that going to be? Should I pause here for dramatic effect while it all sinks in? Because yep, the sorry asshats who are going to take the fall for this will be all of you. So not only will you have cost the city one of it’s finest police officers, but you’ll also cost yourselves your jobs.”
I was fucking impressed. I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms, giving a smug smile. They all sat quiet for a few moments, and when one of the IA officers started to speak up, Joe joined Stacy. He walked up and took her side again, and it hit me all at once what it was they were doing for me. Yeah I knew they were risking getting in trouble to help me, but they were doing it to help me. I had no idea what the hell I’d done to deserve such amazing people in my life, but I’d never been more thankful than that
moment for the stubborn dumbasses standing at the front of the room who refused to let me shut them out of my life.
“If you take his badge, you may as well take mine. Because I will stand by Stacy’s side, telling everyone the truth about what happened. I was there and I’ll make sure the right story gets told.”
“You know it’s a federal offense to threaten law enforcement, right?” It was a rhetorical question, because of course Joe knew that, but it was intended to intimidate them into backing down.
“No shit, fucktard. He’s a fucking cop, of course he knows it’s against the law. Any idiot who watches Law and Order knows that. And guess what? We don’t give a shit. You know why? Because we aren’t the ones in the wrong here. You don’t like what we’re saying, then do something about it. If you think throwing us in jail is going to right the wrongs of this bullshit hearing then by all means, take me away.” Stacy held her hands out in front of her, offering herself up as a sacrifice. They all hesitated too long though, and she dropped her arms and laughed. “Yeah, thought so.”
Stacy turned on her heel, gave me one last wink, and stormed out of the room as quickly as she’d entered it. The entire scene only lasted about ten minutes, but it felt much longer, and once her body disappeared behind the doors, I exhaled a deep breath. Only once Stacy was out of the room my confidence faltered and I started to worry about the repercussions of what just happened.
Chapter 37
Stacy
As soon as the doors closed behind me, I collapsed onto the bench sitting against the wall directly in front of me. My chest was heaving up and down as I bent over, gripping the edges of the bench. I was taking deep breaths, trying to slow my pounding heart.
I didn’t know how I managed to keep it together in there. It was almost like an out of body experience, like I was someone else in the room watching some crazy person threatening a room full of cops and city officials.
The adrenaline was starting to wear off and I felt panicked. What had I done? I probably just made it so much worse for Chad. Of all the times to lose my mind and go off the deep end, I’d picked the worst one. Chad would hate me. In a matter of just a few minutes I’d managed to ruin everything.
I felt tears streaming down my cheeks but I couldn’t lift a hand to wipe them away. My body started shaking uncontrollably, the fear of losing Chad consuming me. Even during my attacks, I didn’t feel so scared, so helpless. I finally had him, the man that I love, back in my life. I had his love and I just flushed it down the drain with my outburst, which I was sure he wouldn’t be able to forgive. His job was everything to him and I knew my irrational, idiotic self had just ruined his chance of keeping it.
I felt an arm on my shoulder and jerked my head up in surprise, greeted with Adalyn’s sympathetic face. She sat down beside me just as Carrie took the seat on the other side, and they wrapped their arms around me and hugged me tightly while I finally let go of the little control I still had and let the loud, angry sobs out. I was faintly aware that Joe and Ian were also there, but the hatred I felt for myself for being so stupid was consuming me, and the sound of my wailing cries drowned out any other noise.
It wasn’t until I felt the loss of Carrie and Adalyn’s arms around me that I started to pull out of my melt down. I was still crying and shaking, but I started to calm down. I felt an arm around me again, but it was heavier and bigger, so I looked up expecting to see Ian or Joe. But it wasn’t either of them.
It was Chad.
I could barely see his face through my tear filled eyes as I wrapped my arms around him tightly, burying my face in chest, muttering apologies over and over again. I expected him to push me away, to yell at me and tell me what a fuck up I was and everything else I knew I deserved. But he didn’t. Instead he hugged me back, smoothing my hair and whispering soothing words.
I was so surprised by his reaction that for a second I almost forgot what I’d done and allowed myself to feel comforted, but then reality came back to me and I pulled back, expecting to see anger or even hatred in his face. Instead, all I saw was love.
“I’m so sorry, Chad,” I hiccupped. “You should hate me. I ruined everything. I’m so stupid. I know better, I know I can’t just run around saying and doing whatever I want and not expecting there to be consequences. And I hate myself. I know that this time you are the one who will be suffering from my idiocy. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’ll do anything Chad, anything to make this up to you. I’ll do whatever I can to show you how sorry I am and maybe one day you can forgive me. Please say you’ll give me a chance. I’m so sorry.”
I was rambling, my words coming out frantic and rushed, wanting to get it all out before he had the chance to stop me. To give me the rejection I knew was coming. I’d done so much stupid, regrettable shit in my life, but costing Chad his job was unforgivable. Even if he managed to forgive me, I’d never forgive myself. Chad had already lost so much in his life and his job was so important to him and selfishly all I could think was that I hoped I was maybe more important to him than his job and that maybe we had a chance.
I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t bear to see the resentment and anger he must be feeling towards me. I wouldn’t survive losing him again, especially knowing this time the only person to blame would be me. So I just sat there, staring at the ground, waiting for the inevitable. He was shaking with rage, his whole body trembling. But when he was shaking so hard it was rocking the bench, I finally looked up at him.
What the hell?
He was laughing. Like full out belly laughing. When he saw me finally looking at him he really let go, and for a minute I just sat there confused as hell, but his laughter was contagious. I’d never heard him laugh this hard. I couldn’t help myself, so I gave in and joined him. I didn’t know if it was one of those our-lives-are-fucked-so-there’s-nothing-to-do-but-laugh-about-it laughs, but it felt good to laugh either way.
When our hysteria started to die down, I saw everyone staring at us. Adalyn looked confused and sad, Ian looked indifferent, Carrie looked happy and Joe looked amused. It was then that I realized I still didn’t know what exactly happened after I left the room.
“They let it all go, Stacy. I get to keep my job,” he said as if reading my mind. My jaw fell open and I tried to find words but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t believe it. How was it possible that I hadn’t screwed everything up? “Apparently your little outburst in there scared some sense into them. I thought for sure I’d be bailing your ass out of jail right now, but after a few minutes of whispering amongst themselves, they just dropped it, said I could go.”
“Oh my God, Chad, that is so great!” I flung myself onto his lap, straddling his legs and kissing him over and over, covering every inch of his face with my mouth. I didn’t care where we were or who was watching, I was just so relieved to know everything was going to be okay. Although...I couldn’t help myself. I had to know. So I pulled back and looked him in the eye and asked a question I was afraid I’d regret.
“Chad...I’m so so happy that everything worked out. It was a big risk going in there like that, and honestly, I didn’t even think about how stupid it was until afterward. I just...I have to know. If you had lost your job because of me...would you have been able to forgive me?”
His smile fell completely and his eyes narrowed. He was angry. Like, really angry.
Dammit. I knew I shouldn’t have asked. I just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could I? Like I was determined to fuck up my life somehow.
I tried to pull away but he put his hands on my waist and held me in place.
“There would have been nothing to forgive. I can’t believe that after everything you still don’t realize what you mean to me.”
“I didn’t mean, I just...I know how important your job is to you. And I know how irresponsible it was of me to do that. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me, that’s not why I asked. I just...I don’t know. I need you to know I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.” His face was still a
ngry but he softened a little around his eyes. “Even if what you did had cost me my job, I would still be thankful. You weren’t being careless or spontaneous Stacy; you were acting out of instinct on my behalf. You saw me in trouble and you jumped in. It wasn’t crazy, it was brave. No one has ever fought for me like that. Even when my mom would take my dad’s hits so I would be spared, she just took them. She never fought back. You, Stacy, are a fighter. You are strong and brave and amazing.”
His hands moved to my face, his thumbs wiping away my tears. The anger was gone and all that was left was love.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Stacy, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to prove that I’m worthy. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want you to be serious and cautious like me. I want you to breathe your life into me. When you’re with me, it’s the only time I feel alive. I don’t care about my job. I don’t care about anything but you Stacy. I would give up my whole life if it meant I could keep you by my side forever.”
If that wasn’t a declaration of love, then I didn’t know what was. I went in to kiss him, but he gently pulled me off his lap and sat me back down on the bench. The loss of his body touching mine was almost unbearable, and I started to stand up, wanting to reclaim him, but he stopped me by dropping to the ground in front of me.
Before I could figure out what he was doing, he was holding out a box. He was on one knee, I realized, not crouching. And he was holding a fucking jewelry box. A little square one and I swore to all things holy that if there was a ring inside I was going to kick him in his nuts. It’s not that I didn’t want to marry him, but we could barely make it through a meal without walking away covered in half of it. Marriage just seemed a little...no... ENTIRELY...too soon of a decision. He had lost his damn mind.
“I was going to plan a big gesture for this. You deserve amazing things, Stacy, and I want to be the one to give them to you. I can’t stand seeing you unsure about us, about how I feel. That you would ever think I would choose anything over you, that I would leave you for any reason at all, tells me that now is the time to do this. No matter what happened today, this was going to happen. You could have gone in there and stripped naked and gave the city manager a lap dance as a bribe to let me off and I still would be here on my knee.”
